Stories of rage, tears and regret

Post by **lumipharon** » Mon Aug 17, 2015 4:43 am #112819

Bottom post of the previous page:

DrPillzRedux wrote:>roll syndi on my first antagonist round back here
>we all upload our crystals
>leader spends it all on borgs, other 2 guys are pissed
>I don't care I just wanna go murder
>they kill the syndi leader
>I refrain and step away from the gunfire
>suddenly the commander spawns in and asks all involved to step to the right
>tells me to step to the left
>he guns down the two guys who murdered our leader, wishes me luck, kills himself
>the syndieborgs all die on the station
>I get to raid centcom for being good
>I go in disguised as a STALKER and kill people
>go to mining to kill refugees
>rum out of ammo and get fried

If the OP leader is being a shit, and spending all the TEAM'S points on shit they don't want, he deserves to get wasted. Pretty shit for the badmins to kill those who did it.

EndgamerAzari · Mon Aug 17, 2015 5:06 pm

Not so much a rage story as a "in hindsight I was retarded" story that happened a couple years ago.

>Be detective
>Hear news of a wizard
>Go on patrol
>See wizard near escape
>Mouse over him, see wizard-y name
>He starts to run as I open fire
>Beat him to death with my revolver
>Search him, find janitor's ID and gear
>Realize that the 'name' I saw, "Firelock", was from accidentally mousing over the border of the blast door
>mfw I beat a janitor to death for a moronic misunderstanding

DemonFiren · Post by **DemonFiren** » Mon Aug 17, 2015 5:51 pm #112873

Firelock is an awesome name for a wizard, though.

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Mon Aug 17, 2015 6:01 pm #112875

That is fucking hilarious

Cheimon · Post by **Cheimon** » Mon Aug 17, 2015 6:24 pm #112879

Keeping the murderous detective stereotype alive.

EndgamerAzari · Mon Aug 17, 2015 6:28 pm

I remember him saying "ohshit" when he saw me, and I didn't get bwoinked for it, so I assume he realized how dumb he was being to wear a wizard costume during a wizard round and accepted the consequences.

DrPillzRedux · Sat Aug 22, 2015 1:14 pm

>hanging out with lizard waifu on Sybil
>give her an exam in a patient room
>get dragged to the dorm by waifu
>do lewd things
>get interrupted by people
>move to the shower and do lewd things
>badmin sends in VR carps and I die
>waifu revives me with a defibrillator
>do more lewd things in shower
>about to finish her
>singulo rips in
>LORD SINGULOTH HATH COME
>die from oxy loss
>waifu cries

DemonFiren · Post by **DemonFiren** » Sat Aug 22, 2015 5:31 pm #114158

Do your lizard ERP on Basil like civilised people.

DrPillzRedux · Sat Aug 22, 2015 5:56 pm

DemonFiren wrote:Do your lizard ERP on Basil like civilised people.

I forgot the part where the admins were Afk and people were screaming about the erp in ooc.

DemonFiren · Post by **DemonFiren** » Sat Aug 22, 2015 6:39 pm #114165

Again, Basil. Emulsions are respected there.

You'll still get rekt if you're found, of course, but the odds of being found with five people on...

DrPillzRedux · Sat Aug 22, 2015 6:42 pm

DemonFiren wrote:Again, Basil. Emulsions are respected there.

Getting shrek by admins is fun though.

DemonFiren · Post by **DemonFiren** » Sat Aug 22, 2015 7:20 pm #114168

I guess so.

Then only ERP when admins are on, and ahelp that you are ERPing.

DrPillzRedux · Sat Aug 22, 2015 8:40 pm

I did that 2 days ago and they did nothing.

DemonFiren · Post by **DemonFiren** » Sat Aug 22, 2015 11:26 pm #114202

In that case, honk.

Takeguru · Post by **Takeguru** » Sun Aug 23, 2015 12:04 am #114207

>Start round as sec officer, which I rarely do
>HoS is on point, full sec team sans warden
>Gang tags
>HoS leads us into science where we take over
>Warden joins during the raid
>TTVs stashed in the armory after takeover
>Round progresses, HoS giving clear orders
>Warden calls for help from brig, I return to handle shit
>Armory is wide open, grab a laser and start deterring a miner fucking about outside the brig in space
>Start rounding everything important into a locker because the warden is incompetent as fuck
>Miner breaks a permabrigged guy out, leads him into the outfitting room
>Laser through the window, down the permabrigged guy, miner fucks off
>Drag the body into the warden's office
>Warden stuns and cuffs me because I had a laser out
>Faffs about, takes me to secpod
>Window is broke, heads to escape
>Slips on banana peels
>Slips on a peel in the door to the shuttle, before I can run off it leaves
>Space wind sucks me out the airlock
>Can do nothing because the airlock closed behind me
>AI takes too long to open it, too damaged to get back in because FUCKING SPACEWIND
>Detective-turned-gangmember shoots me dead

I am salt in all ways

Excellent round ruined by someone who has no business playing any sec jobs.

Sun Aug 23, 2015 12:22 am

>gang round
>not a gangster or a sec officer, just an assistant, so idgaf tbh smh
>decide to do a gimmick where i pretend i'm a ling, talk as though i am two different people over the radio, one impersonating the other
>nobody's falling for it (which is funny because that means that in an actual ling round if somebody calls for help you could just transform into them and say "nevermind lol" and apparently it would work)
>decide to up my game
>use pen from PDA to "sting" people
>sting the captain
>he lasers me to death
>captain genuinely thinks im a gang leader (he didnt even search me), but HoS realizes what happened
>HoS drops my corpse off in medbay lobby
>the only doctor is a newfag who accidentally morphines people in sleepers
>apparently he doesnt know about defibs so he takes me to genetics
>somebody else is getting cloned, in the meantime i'm left in the scanner
>somebody takes out my corpse figuring i already got cloned
>left to rot on the medbay floor
>alt tab out to do something else in the meantime, not really that mad because i didnt care about the round anyways
>"You have been idle for 10 minutes and have been disconnected"
>fuck

Anonmare · Post by **Anonmare** » Sun Aug 23, 2015 12:59 am #114212

I love doing that as a meme job, just running around with a pen in my pocket and stabbing people with it. As well as a backpack full with as many toys as I can get.
I remember one time hiding in a locker in a replica syndie suit, cap gun in one hand and e-sword in the other. Miner passes by and I jump out, activating e-sword, firing cap gun randomly and chasing them in the hallway. Only for them to pull out a very *real* revolver and dunk me.

Actionb · Post by **Actionb** » Sun Aug 23, 2015 11:27 pm #114429

Anonmare wrote:Only for them to pull out a very *real* revolver and dunk me.

Reminds me of the time I dressed up as DEATH (chaplain hoodie+voicechanger+scythe etc). Pointed my 'skeletal finger' at the clown saying "I WAS WAITING FOR YOU" - clown immediately shoots me dead in the middle of hallway. Sad about dying, but laughing because dat irony tho.

Zilenan91 · Post by **Zilenan91** » Mon Aug 24, 2015 4:06 pm #114611

Actionb wrote:
Anonmare wrote:Only for them to pull out a very *real* revolver and dunk me.
Reminds me of the time I dressed up as DEATH (chaplain hoodie+voicechanger+scythe etc). Pointed my 'skeletal finger' at the clown saying "I WAS WAITING FOR YOU" - clown immediately shoots me dead in the middle of hallway. Sad about dying, but laughing because dat irony tho.

My favorite thing to do as a chaplain is pray for TK, then buy a dual esword and agent card.

Rename myself to Darth Maul and start killing stuff. Also works with the Dark Lord syndicate bundle.

IcePacks · Post by **IcePacks** » Sun Aug 30, 2015 6:50 am #115738

>join round
>witness a shooting
>report it to a sec officer
>wander to work
>get drafted into the blasto gang
>stuff happens
>kidnap the detective
>find a bomb
>after making saeg rant and rave like a little kid in the policy forum
>shove it in the detective's backpack after a bomb goes off in dorms
>send him down disposals
>plasma cloud outside sec
>forget the code, remember the frequency
>cycle codes
>lag spike
>yeahhhhh roadblock

>let out a glorf as i am knocked on my ass and rendered unconscious
>regain consciousness
>die
>admins: you're an idiot
>blasto gang had a couple of maxcaps and explosive implants in the brig
>everything blew the fuck up
>win anyways because memekhi anderson was out of the brig

i don't even know which thread to post this in

Ricotez · Post by **Ricotez** » Sun Aug 30, 2015 11:12 am #115776

>cycling signaller codes when you know there are bombs but don't know where they are

what did you expect would happen

IcePacks · Post by **IcePacks** » Sun Aug 30, 2015 5:38 pm #115822

i didn't think that far ahead!

DrPillzRedux · Mon Aug 31, 2015 10:19 am

I play a mentally ill lizard with a depressing past. After talking to Salts about some of it, this happened. Props to whichever admin did this.

Pets is zoning out, playing the piano when suddenly she's somewhere else, teleported into the centcom bar

Pets-The-Carp asks, "Hm?"
Him asks, "Troubling times, hm?"
Pets-The-Carp hisses, "Go away."
Pets-The-Carp hisses, "I left you in the passst."
Him asks, "Hm?"
Him rattles, "I don't recall seeing your face here before."
Him squints.
Him rattles, "Not that I can see it."
(wearing a mask to conceal her face)
Pets-The-Carp hisses, "..."
Pets-The-Carp asks, "What do you want, ssspirit?"
Him rattles, "I hope for your own sake that you can find your way back to the path."
Pets-The-Carp hisses, "..."
Him rattles, "These forests are quite dark and dangerous."
Pets-The-Carp hisses, "I can't do it alone."
Him rattles, "Dependency is weakness."
Pets-The-Carp hisses, "I've alwaysss been weak..."
Pets-The-Carp sniffs.
Him rattles, "Use it as a crutch for long enough and you will find yourself stuck with a limp forever."
Him is putting the barrel of the syndicate pistol in his mouth. It looks like he's trying to commit suicide.
Him blows his brains out with the syndicate pistol!
Him seizes up and falls limp, his eyes dead and lifeless...

Pets wakes up a few steps away from where she was before. There's a single, unused 10mm cartridge on the chapel altar.

Pets-The-Carp cries.
Pets-The-Carp hisses, "I'm going insssane..."

Danowar · Post by **Danowar** » Mon Aug 31, 2015 11:27 am #115969

DrPillzRedux wrote:madness

So you're the one who was playing as Pets. I was wondering why you were acting so strange. You almost broke up my relationship with my bro, Sven.

FredNodoor · Post by **FredNodoor** » Mon Aug 31, 2015 12:58 pm #115979

>Be Geneticist
>Time to learn to NOPE ITS GANG TIME
>Prick some people and talk to my lieutenant in test lab below
>We go around prickin people, giving them paintcans, etc.
>Going splendid so far, we don't get found out
>Walk by science again and see a paintcan and a HoS
>Say "Huh, hey HoS, is there a gang out on the loose?"
>He runs out of the sec outpost and stun cuffs me
>"HEY! What was that for?"
>Searches me
>Gun
>Kills me
>There was no announcement over radio about a gang
>Never recalled our cover being blown
>Validhunting max
>Salty for the rest of the round

I don't know if he found evidence or what but from my prespective that was bullshit

InsaneHyena · Post by **InsaneHyena** » Fri Sep 04, 2015 4:17 am #116673

> Cult round, spawn as cultist engineer.
> I love cult rounds, this is gonna be good
> Must sacrifice a chaplain. Seems easy enough.
> Make a stun prod, cable cuffs, go to the chapel.
> Smack the ligger with my stun prod
> Watch in confusion how he does not fall on the ground, but runs away.
> Realize that I forgot to turn the stun prod on
> Try to chase him
> Unrobust 2015, chaplain gets away
> Hide in the maints
> Manage to avoid security for a while
> Found by security
> Ded

Fri Sep 04, 2015 4:49 am

>cult round
>get converted, neat
>gotta sac the chaplain and summon the ol' boy
>eventually we have 10,000 people and a secure base in science
>chaplain hanging with security in the brig
>get two of my boys into a locker and go in front of brig
>plant a blood boil rune
>only it's not blood boil, it's blood drain
>too late we already spammed the rune
>fuck.jpg.wmv.mp4.png
>my boys and I go into deep crit
>they get dragged into the brig and their bodies are kept in cuffs because security
>mediborg nearby heals me out of crit after four years and i somehow get away
>use recall rune to bring back one of my boys and clone them, not enough time to do the other one
>tfw

Danowar · Post by **Danowar** » Fri Sep 04, 2015 5:02 am #116678

PKPenguin321 wrote:CULT

I was the HoP that round. It was fun pissing off Thomas Laser with the law shenanigans before the cult finally got me.

(Seriously though, why isn't Thomas Laser jobbanned from HoS already)

Deitus · Post by **Deitus** » Fri Sep 04, 2015 6:36 pm #116754

>be captain
>k cool
>do normal stuff, get disk/pinpointer
>hos is off doing god knows what so i give pinpointer to warden sylkie or something
>meme around, generally be a fancy greyshirt like all captains
>clown somehow has a trillion bananas and is slipping people everywhere, laugh at first but get tired of his shit and slap him in the gulag for 200 points
>sad honking
>dick around more, not much going on
>suddenly ai starts screaming about aaawperatives
>haul my ass to armory, suit up in bulletproofs
>sec comes in
>CAPTAIN IS DISK SECURE?!
>yeah folks its right h---
>disk is gone
>what the ACTUAL FUCK
>warden and i lead a small team to find it with her pinpointer
>somehow it was in the fucking dorm toilets in an internals box, no fucking idea how it got there as im literally OCD about grabbing the disk at shift start
>whatever disk is secure
>SUDDENLY OPS OUTSIDE OH MAN SYNDIBORG OH GEEZ
>fire off a few taser shots, miss terribly
>get lasered half to shit
>warden sylkie and some other sec wall off dorm entrance with riot shields while i haul my sorry ass through dorm maint back up to sec
>hide in armory and cry like a bitch
>eventually phoebe comes in and says awps dead, patches me up
>thanks pheebs
>warden and sec come back in, make sure i have disk, patch themselves up
>some sec keeps telling me he lost his arm
>o-ok?
>shuttle arrives around now, decide to grab my medal box and award it to the brave sec team that saved the station and i
>go into cockpit at first, make sure other heads are ok
>shuttle launches
>go back out into passenger area
>clown is back and my god bananas are everywhere and everyone is on harm intent jesus fuck
>can barely navigate
>try to pin a medal on one sec officer, accidentally remove his suit, get stunbaton'd
>whoops
>see sylkie, start making my way towards her to give a medal of valor
>SLIP
>well shit
>wait why am i sliding
>WHY IS THE AIRLOCK OPEN
>NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
>fall out of shuttle with 10 seconds to escape
>syndicate minor victory
>ooc is screaming for my dick on a platter
>space wind named mvp of the round

tfw

sirnat · Post by **sirnat** » Sun Sep 06, 2015 9:15 pm #117053

>Malf AI round
>(I cant remember job)
>AI wasn't called out entirely
>Explosion outside HoP office, blows out windows
>Steals all access
>Goes to EVA, gets suit/RCD
>Goes to bridge, gets fire axe
>Replaces satchel with axe
>Has to carry RCD in hand
>Goes to AI sat with someone else
>Disable turrets to go check AI
>AI turns them on and sets to lethal too late and misses us
>Now knows AI is clearly rogue
>Plasma floods, AI too dumb to make fires with bursting lights
>Release myself from zips, leave RCD at sat
>I use hand tele before a standard borg can baton me
>I get into science via maint
>Blow every borg like a boss.
>Use hand tele to return to sat
>Is out of mat for RCD
>Goes back to cargo, gets more material
>Accidently tp's to bridge
>Dumb bitch thats on fire is coming toward me for some reason
>She follows me through two portals
>Tele'd to sat
>Person still follows me
>Get stunned by beepsky
>Person walks over me, while still on fire, on purpose
>I die
>Had AI in bag if I could've got beepsky killed with laser gun I had
>Rage

Not-Dorsidarf · Mon Sep 07, 2015 2:00 pm

sirnat wrote:>Malf AI round
>(I cant remember job)
>AI wasn't called out entirely
>Explosion outside HoP office, blows out windows
>Steals all access
>Goes to EVA, gets suit/RCD
>Goes to bridge, gets fire axe
>Replaces satchel with axe
>Has to carry RCD in hand
>Goes to AI sat with someone else
>Disable turrets to go check AI
>AI turns them on and sets to lethal too late and misses us
>Now knows AI is clearly rogue
>Plasma floods, AI too dumb to make fires with bursting lights
>Release myself from zips, leave RCD at sat
>I use hand tele before a standard borg can baton me
>I get into science via maint
>Blow every borg like a boss.
>Use hand tele to return to sat
>Is out of mat for RCD
>Goes back to cargo, gets more material
>Accidently tp's to bridge
>Dumb bitch thats on fire is coming toward me for some reason
>She follows me through two portals
>Tele'd to sat
>Person still follows me
>Get stunned by beepsky
>Person walks over me, while still on fire, on purpose
>I die
>Had AI in bag if I could've got beepsky killed with laser gun I had
>Rage

ban request Person. Chasing people while on fire, setting them on fire, and leaving them to die is nonantag murder, which is a cool dayban for each person they made into flambe

Screemonster · Mon Sep 07, 2015 3:50 pm

Not-Dorsidarf wrote:
sirnat wrote:snip
ban request Person. Chasing people while on fire, setting them on fire, and leaving them to die is nonantag murder, which is a cool dayban for each person they made into flambe

Seconded. I mean I know you made a policy discussion thread on it but a BR wouldn't be unreasonable, if only to get the player in there to explain why they thought running around igniting people in a malf round would be fun.

AnonymousNow · Tue Sep 08, 2015 2:21 am

>First AI round in about six months
>First malf round in maybe a year
>Janitor cyborg (Ykpeeb 261, layed by RobertRobot) fucks off and says literally nothing throughout the entire round; doesn't follow a single command, though he loiters vaguely around the area of one of them for a few seconds before fucking off.
>What luck - absolutely no cyborgs are being made, despite the fact that robotics is active and assistants are queueing to be borged. The actual fuck.
>I'm so bad at atmospherics that I requested a job-ban to stop me from being randomly sorted into atmos tech all the fucking time; plasma or N20 floods are out of the question
>Admins (Aloraydrel is a GameAdmin; HotelBravoLima is a GameMaster; Lollerderby is a GameAdmin; WJohnston is a Xeno; Shaps is a TrialAdmin) are too busy to answer an adminhelp about shunting, but not busy enough to stop them making a party button in the bar
>Singularity is let out, but happily wanders away from the station in order to do jack shit
>Crew is killing each other, which is good cover, but Thomas Laser wanders EVERYWHERE anyway and JUST SO HAPPENS to find, in a room nobody goes into in 9/10 rounds, a hacked APC
>Armed raid on my core means I emergency-shunt elsewhere and hit the timer; this is when I discover that AIs can't even shunt between hacked APCs on the same screen. What is the point?
>Forced to sit there and hope that my incredibly stupid cyborg, who is getting distracted by WOAH, footprints, does something
>Nope.

Disabling malf. Considering disabling AI.

sirnat · Post by **sirnat** » Tue Sep 08, 2015 2:37 am #117314

Screemonster wrote:
Not-Dorsidarf wrote:
sirnat wrote:snip
ban request Person. Chasing people while on fire, setting them on fire, and leaving them to die is nonantag murder, which is a cool dayban for each person they made into flambe
Seconded. I mean I know you made a policy discussion thread on it but a BR wouldn't be unreasonable, if only to get the player in there to explain why they thought running around igniting people in a malf round would be fun.

Niknak said he handled it, so I dunno what happened. The player tried saying they didn't know doing that set others on fire, so I trust niknak handled it appropriately.

Malkevin · Post by **Malkevin** » Tue Sep 08, 2015 8:54 am #117365

AnonymousNow wrote:>First AI round in about six months
>First malf round in maybe a year
>Janitor cyborg (Ykpeeb 261, layed by RobertRobot) fucks off and says literally nothing throughout the entire round; doesn't follow a single command, though he loiters vaguely around the area of one of them for a few seconds before fucking off.
>What luck - absolutely no cyborgs are being made, despite the fact that robotics is active and assistants are queueing to be borged. The actual fuck.
>I'm so bad at atmospherics that I requested a job-ban to stop me from being randomly sorted into atmos tech all the fucking time; plasma or N20 floods are out of the question
>Admins (Aloraydrel is a GameAdmin; HotelBravoLima is a GameMaster; Lollerderby is a GameAdmin; WJohnston is a Xeno; Shaps is a TrialAdmin) are too busy to answer an adminhelp about shunting, but not busy enough to stop them making a party button in the bar
>Singularity is let out, but happily wanders away from the station in order to do jack shit
>Crew is killing each other, which is good cover, but Thomas Laser wanders EVERYWHERE anyway and JUST SO HAPPENS to find, in a room nobody goes into in 9/10 rounds, a hacked APC
>Armed raid on my core means I emergency-shunt elsewhere and hit the timer; this is when I discover that AIs can't even shunt between hacked APCs on the same screen. What is the point?
>Forced to sit there and hope that my incredibly stupid cyborg, who is getting distracted by WOAH, footprints, does something
>Nope.

Disabling malf. Considering disabling AI.

Good luck, malf will still gobble you up if no one else has malf or AI turned on.

What was the room by the way?

AnonymousNow · Wed Sep 09, 2015 1:19 am

Malkevin wrote: Good luck, malf will still gobble you up if no one else has malf or AI turned on.

What was the room by the way?

R&D Server Room. Yes, I know it's a favourite for malf AIs to hack, but when the Head of Security somehow ends up in there through no provocation, it's rather alarming.

Takeguru · Post by **Takeguru** » Wed Sep 09, 2015 1:28 am #117575

Well, there is the chance you missed a sec channel message.

The sec office in there does have cam access to the server room, last I checked

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Wed Sep 09, 2015 5:40 pm #117744

Here is one from a few weeks ago

>On bagil, pretty lowpop
>Roll tatorhop
>This is gonna be fun!
>See Francis McRea acting sketchy in the halls, get curious
>Buy syndiekey for my headset
>Francis and the AI are both on this channel
>We will become the evil rulers of the station!
>Tell them my target is the chaplain, AI says that is his target as well
>Let Francis into the HoP office to give her all access
>Working at my console
>BLATBLATBLATBLAT
>revolverded
>I have been betrayed
>See the AI and Francis gloating over the syndieradio
>I was the AI's real target
>I get cremated, not even borged ;_;

Fucking syndie radio didnt do shit for me. Never trust traitor scum folks.

Apparently Francis' target was another traitor as well, it was an odd round

Wed Sep 09, 2015 10:37 pm

that's called "double agent"

Not-Dorsidarf · Thu Sep 10, 2015 8:52 am

PKPenguin321 wrote:that's called "double agent"

If the AI had traitor radio, it wasn't DA. Just the gamemode code prioritizing traitors as traitor targets again because the objective threat system is screwy.

Fri Sep 11, 2015 12:48 am

Not-Dorsidarf wrote:
PKPenguin321 wrote:that's called "double agent"
If the AI had traitor radio, it wasn't DA. Just the gamemode code prioritizing traitors as traitor targets again because the objective threat system is screwy.

but the AI does get the traitor radio in DA

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Fri Sep 11, 2015 1:08 am #118133

I was not DA, my target was not a traitor, and the other traitor fran killed was also not targeting a traitor

ShadowDimentio · Fri Sep 11, 2015 3:02 am

>Be me, 6'1, 7/10 bod, traitor botanist
>Gotta kill a ligger engineer
>Ez pz
>Okay time to motherfucking kudzu it up
>Go to chem
>Chemists are literally retarded
>Like seriously
>I cannot overstate how fucking stupid these two were
>They were the special type of retarded
>The dangerous kind, where they have just enough grasp of the mechanics to maul you with retard strength
>But not enough to actually do a good job

Like real talk for a second, chemists are the worst kind of spacemen. They're almost exclusively staffed by unhelpful cunts who will shit all over themselves while you ask them for mutagen or acid, and GOD FORBID you enter their sanctum, they'll fucking attack you if you do, even if you got access from the HoP.

>Okay back on track
>internalscreaming.mp4
>Go to HoP
>Second in line, while waiting explain situation to HoP
>HoP understands my suffering and agrees to give me chem medbay and kitchen access
>What a bro
>He'll die last
>SUDDENLY EXPLOSION
>We're all fine but the boom wrecked the HoP's APC
>Their ID is trapped in the unpowered computer, along with the chucklefuck in front's
>intenalscreaming2_screamharder.mp4
>Fuck off back to chem hoping the chemists have figured out how to not drool on themselves and do their job
>That's a negative sir
>HoP has migrated to arrivals and gotten a new ID
>Go get my upgraded ID at like 15 minutes in
>Fucking finally
>Start weeding
>Literally atrocious RNG
>Have used like 5 beakers of mutagen across like 7 trays
>internalscreaming3_thewrathchildscurse.mp4
>Go back to chem at one point
>One of the fucking chemists throws acid on me and melts my fucking jumpsuit
>My shit is all over the ground
>I have no idea why the fuck they did that
>I literally was only walking in every few minutes for mutagen
>Chemists man how do they work
>thiscuntisfuckingdead.wav
>Hack the shit out of him with a hatchet
>CMO breaks shit up and tries to arrest me
>Somehow fails and I just leave
>Decide that the kudzu dream is dead
>Settle with the slightly less dank sword dream
>Get started, make progress but need more mutagen
>Go back and get more
>The stupid chemist from earlier follows me back to botany after getting healed
>He wants round two
>This cunt is going to get it this time
>Draw my hatchet, start chopping his ass
>I have no idea what he was expecting
>Misses a splash with a beaker I think
>At one point he's like "That's enough, we're even now"
>You smug little cunt, you're not getting away that easy
>Fucking murder him
>Good riddance
>Stuff him in a locker and resume sword production
>Have 100 potency in no time
>WOOP WOOP SHUTTLE'S CALLED WOOP WOOP
>God fucking damn it
>It's like 30 minutes in you autists
>Get a bunch of swords
>Order up an ebow and an adrenal implant
>Gonna motherfucking murderbone up in this bitch
>Murder my fellow botanist as a start
>Check to see if escape has any prime targets
>No only a carp
>Fine I'll murder you too then you fish bish
>For some reason my sword doesn't two hit it
>Actually it does piss damage what the fuck
>Carp actually manages to crit me
>I use my implant, but fall back over from injuries the moment I slay the carp
>Jesus christ what the fuck
>Lay on the ground in crit for a while
>Chappy heals me eventually
>What a nice guy
>You get to die second to last
>Time to get my greentext
>Go to engineering, because engineering is where you find engineers
>Windows are all broken in
>Wow this round really has been shit for everyone
>Just walk in
>TARGET ACQUIRED, LIGGER ENGINEER
>They're fucking around with a door
>Draw my sword and throw it at them because why not
>Miss, throw another
>ANOTHER
>They start picking up my swords and throwing them back
>We're basically at a draw
>They get a lucky stun on me
>Implant go
>Pop back up
>They suddenly whip out an actual esword
>Oh they were traitor too
>Get murderized
>Ghost
>Realize I had a ebow the whole time and never used it
>Regret everything
>internalscreaming4_thescreamsneverend.mp4

Everything hurts.

Danowar · Post by **Danowar** » Fri Sep 11, 2015 3:34 am #118163

ShadowDimentio wrote:DOUBLE AGENTS

I was the HoP during that round. The CE and his buddy, Jaggi, wanted the shuttle called, so I complied. We all then went to the AI satellite to make sure the AI was dead. We ended up getting killed by Greys-Her-Tide, who I assume was your target.

Spoiler:

Malkevin · Post by **Malkevin** » Fri Sep 11, 2015 12:40 pm #118245

I always hate chemists that are dick about giving chemicals to crewmen that actually have a reason for needing those chemicals.
No chemonkey, you don't need to know why I, the grorious HoS, needs spontaneous combustion chemicals - we both know what they're for, stop delaying my busy job.

Screemonster · Fri Sep 11, 2015 1:57 pm

Malkevin wrote:I always hate chemists that are dick about giving chemicals to crewmen that actually have a reason for needing those chemicals.
No chemonkey, you don't need to know why I, the grorious HoS, needs spontaneous combustion chemicals - we both know what they're for, stop delaying my busy job.

tbh you can extend that to anyone who is a dick to anyone about giving people the things they need to do their jobs.
I remember one time on lowpop seeing a QM demanding forms from the CMO (there wasn't one) for a geneticist to order the terribly contraband monkey cubes. They stepped away from the desk for a moment, a newly-arrived cargotech saw the order form and was like "yeah sure", and the QM tried to robust said cargotech to stop them delivering cargo.

too bad the tech had printed themselves a surgical saw the moment they arrived, honk

ShadowDimentio · Fri Sep 11, 2015 4:57 pm

Anyone who wastes my time for no reason is immediately put on my shit list for that round. If the chemists are retarded, I break in and help myself. If they try to fight me, I kick their asses and help myself anyways. It works well, except when the chemists go REEEEEEEEE THE BOTANIST IS ATTACKING US FOR NO RASIN HALP REEEEEEE and the equally retarded security team shows up just to shit all over everything.

It's why I hate security with a burning passion, because all they ever do is show up in shit situations and shit it up even more.

Ricotez · Post by **Ricotez** » Fri Sep 11, 2015 5:09 pm #118292

ShadowDimentio wrote:Anyone who wastes my time for no reason is immediately put on my shit list for that round. If the chemists are retarded, I break in and help myself. If they try to fight me, I kick their asses and help myself anyways. It works well, except when the chemists go REEEEEEEEE THE BOTANIST IS ATTACKING US FOR NO RASIN HALP REEEEEEE and the equally retarded security team shows up just to shit all over everything.

It's why I hate security with a burning passion, because all they ever do is show up in shit situations and shit it up even more.

do you seriously hate security because they show up after you broke into a department to steal from the machine that you also need to make potent poisons? hate toward the chemists is justified in this situation, but holy shit do not shit over security who actually do their jobs.

ShadowDimentio · Fri Sep 11, 2015 7:22 pm

Ricotez wrote:do you seriously hate security because they show up after you broke into a department to steal from the machine that you also need to make potent poisons? hate toward the chemists is justified in this situation, but holy shit do not shit over security who actually do their jobs.

If only there was a way to know if I made mutagen

Like checking the beaker

Or asking the chef/other botanists if the botanist has been fucking around in botany literally all round

Or asking anyone who's spoken to the chemists if they're literally retarded

All very good solutions instead of THROW HIM IN THE BRIG, TEN MINUTES, JUSTICE SERVED

TheNightingale · Fri Sep 11, 2015 8:26 pm

If only there was a way to get into a department without breaking in.
Like asking the AI.
Or someone who works there.
Or getting access.
Or finding another way to get the chemicals (from science, for example).

All very good solutions instead of SMASH IN THE WINDOW, TWO SHARDS AND A METAL ROD, GREYTIDE SERVED

Takeguru · Post by **Takeguru** » Fri Sep 11, 2015 10:17 pm #118327

Smashing the window is faster.