Human Fortress 13, Masterwork edition

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Thu Jul 30, 2015 3:14 am #108323

Bottom post of the previous page:

I hate elves so goddamn much

http://i.imgur.com/0bAwaZn.png
What do you think, should we start shit with the liason and his trio of asskicking bodyguards?

THE MIGHTY GALVATRON · Thu Jul 30, 2015 3:15 am

Can we take the elves as slaves? N-not now of course but later on.

Keep the elves appeased for now though.

TheWiznard · Post by **TheWiznard** » Thu Jul 30, 2015 3:25 am #108328

Wyzack wrote:I hate elves so goddamn much

http://i.imgur.com/0bAwaZn.png
What do you think, should we start shit with the liason and his trio of asskicking bodyguards?

I was just playing and the elves got mad at me because I bought fucking wooden items from them. I say we gas the el(izards)fs race war now

tedward1337 · Post by **tedward1337** » Thu Jul 30, 2015 4:03 am #108334

Ehhh, wait until more ammo is made

Post by **lumipharon** » Thu Jul 30, 2015 4:23 am #108341

How many trees are we cutting a year as it is?

Also what will we miss out on if we start murdering elves to fertilise the tree farms?

Either way, they helped defend the master race from the black savages, so it would be rude to kill this dude.

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Thu Jul 30, 2015 4:51 am #108344

Sticky politely informs him that we cannot stop harvesting all of these trees or else how the fuck are we going to mass produce torches. After a hurried and disapointed farewell sticky goes back to worrying if we have enough torches, yelling at Dorsi that we cannot sell any of these torches and demanding everyone else make more fucking torches.

Septavius · Post by **Septavius** » Thu Jul 30, 2015 6:43 am #108357

yo, is it too late to sign up as a radical human bean?

Takeguru · Post by **Takeguru** » Thu Jul 30, 2015 7:26 am #108363

@Lumi

Masterwork elves, depending on flavor, have some neat stuff.

As always, there's a chance they'll bring neato exotic animals for trade

But, they also have mithril gear, and the ashland elves have ashland glass gear.

Some other stuff too.

Masterwork elves are a different league compared to the wood-only pussies of vanilla.

srifenbyxp · Post by **srifenbyxp** » Thu Jul 30, 2015 10:40 am #108408

I see no geist, why hasn't he miggered into town and slaughter some pointy eared bastards yet.

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Thu Jul 30, 2015 12:31 pm #108423

I figured you wanted Geist to be a pseudo noble like last time so I was waiting on someone to come around, human society has more nobles then dwarves. I will grab you a human on the next migrant wave.

@septavius and anyone else it is never too late to join, we are getting new folks all the time

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Fri Jul 31, 2015 12:06 am #108562

Another small migrant wave shows up, bringing our population to 61. Suitable candidates are drafted into the rifle and melee fighters squads, the new squires Sepatavius and Geist Dangerous among them.

We have so much fucking fish. Seriously, there are piles of fish along the riverbanks, we literally are unable to clean and cook this shit fast enough to keep up with how quickly we are supplying it. Lumi takes a break from chemistry shit to craft some nice bone boots from the bones of our strangler enemies, which is nice. We are finally producing a little steel now, and are able to forge full armor sets from the advanced armorsmith in the smithing guild. Construction is being done on a hospital area, as well as quarters for a yet-to-be-appointed CMO for the fort.

I really like how the migrants are coming in small waves, it makes it so much easier to keep up with everything

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Fri Jul 31, 2015 12:12 am #108564

Souldefences has held it's first democratic election! Congrats to Lam Thetalaccok, our new mayor. Of course this means we need to waste time making a new set of noble quarters and cater to more pointless demands, but at least this guy has a limited term in office

ColonicAcid · Fri Jul 31, 2015 12:45 am

make me the first noble that comes to the shithole

i will be the snobbiest, prickiest noble around

I DEMAND ADAMANTINE TORCHES AND IF YOU DO NOT GET ME SOME I WILL EXECUTE ON PERSON GODDAMN IT

Post by **lumipharon** » Fri Jul 31, 2015 12:55 am #108573

Do we have enough blackpowder/cannon balls/musket balls?
And when can we waste all our metal on more oversized cannons?

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Fri Jul 31, 2015 8:04 pm #108708

One of Tornadium's daughters has come of age! She is five years old now, and is officially old enough to enlist in the military or learn a trade. We start her off with some basic crafting labours.

Here is the fancy new cannon bunker. We actually have some ammo stocked, so the next time fuckers come to siege us we will have some heavy firepower for em

http://i.imgur.com/vYM7sbB.png

We have lots of ammo now, but actually making more cannons requires a fully upgraded engineers guild. This is an investment of about 10000 gold and is probably not really worth it while we still have more cannons than we do siege operators.

It turns out Anon3 does get his own squad, and has become captain of the guard rather than just sheriff. As such, he will be leading a second melee squires squad that will be assembled once Galvatron's is full

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Fri Jul 31, 2015 9:11 pm #108724

A handfull of unarmed white tigerman wrestlers have seiged us! This time we have actual cannons and ammo, as well as fortifications for our riflemen, so this should be an entertaining battle

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Fri Jul 31, 2015 9:16 pm #108726

Eponymous stood behind the cannon, a massive engine of death. He caressed the side almost lovingly as he loaded in the first round, zeroing in on the massive furred creatures approaching his bunker. The first two shots went wide as he attempted to find his range, that was fine, he had all the time in the world baby. The mob paused for a minute on the bridge. This was it. He pulled the trigger and BOOM

http://i.imgur.com/1pdyx4y.png

Every name that is orange or red is a tiger suffering from horrible burns and on fire. Holy fuck this is brutal, and they are only partway to the front gate

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Fri Jul 31, 2015 9:18 pm #108727

The horrors of war boys. And i was going to make some nice fur boots out of those pelts too. Oh well.
http://i.imgur.com/0QaI6IR.png

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Fri Jul 31, 2015 9:22 pm #108729

The creatures engulfed in the blast die nearly immediately, the sum of their wounds to massive to possible survive. The rest scatter and flee. Oranges takes a potshot at one who runs to close to the front gate, possibly trying to rack up more dick shots, but it goes wide. Just as the creatures leave a caravan from the capital shows up. They look with disgust at the mangled pile of fur and flesh mixed with ashes that carpets the way to the trade depot, as Eponymous jumps for joy in the cannon bunker up above. We are the humans, bring it on motherfuckers.

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Fri Jul 31, 2015 9:42 pm #108732

Stickymayhem declares a celebration for the sucess of the cannon. Dorsi barters all the booze that the human traders brought, as well as some more ammunition in exchange for some gold crafts we made. Eponymous recounts the tale in gruesome and excruciating detail to anyone he can make listen.

THE MIGHTY GALVATRON · Fri Jul 31, 2015 9:46 pm

Dem cannons be crazy. They didn't even get a chance to die in glorious melee!

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Sat Aug 01, 2015 12:06 am #108755

Holy shit, Azari was a single father too. No idea where all the moms are, they must be dead. Anyways his kid has grown up and become a squire at the ripe old age of five. Go get em tiger.

THE MIGHTY GALVATRON · Sat Aug 01, 2015 12:23 am

So we got child soldiers, all we need now is a doomsday weapon(other than meeee!) and we can have our own Outer Heaven.

Mister_Doc · Post by **Mister_Doc** » Sat Aug 01, 2015 1:39 am #108767

I am okay with my humie being a punchlady. This game is great so far, I need to play some more DF.

ColonicAcid · Post by **ColonicAcid** » Sun Aug 02, 2015 6:26 am #108957

you know when i first read that they got their occupations at 5 i was like "oh it's fine they're dwarves they mature differently."
today I remembered that this is a human playthrough.

what the fug????????????

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Sun Aug 02, 2015 6:31 am #108959

Yeah, dwarves do not mature until twelve i think. We are using real child labor

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Sun Aug 02, 2015 2:53 pm #109033

The latest addition to our fortress is the illustrious and fancy Deon's Tavern! The finest watering hole in the middle of a goddamn swamp in the middle of assfucked nowhere.

http://i.imgur.com/pYH92Rf.png

Our humans can play music there that gives a different buff depending on what instrument is used. A fucking crash last week happened right after that sweet guitar was made, and he didnt make a guitar the second time, so Dorsi picked up a cobalt guitar off the last caravan instead.

You can also hire adventurers from the tavern, but this ususally costs many thousands of gold. Fighters, rangers, monks, clerics, even sorcerers. Maybe we can hire a few once we are a little more well off.

The plan anyways is to install some tables in the bar and set it as a second dining hall, and put a booze stockpile beneath. A rock splitting block is set up in the mines to chop a shitton of stone bricks so we can finally make that chapel we have always wanted, and another new housing building is made.

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Sun Aug 02, 2015 3:02 pm #109035

Some dwarves come by, and this time Dorsi puts her game face on. We have some really nice trade goods now, and we are looking to make some acquisitions. After some intense bartering we manage to get some nice dwarven booze, a few instruments, a contract for a dwarven runesmith to come by our settlement, and a goddamn turret that fires bullets! And we didn't even trade away all our stuff! Dorsi has become quite the shrewd negotiator by now.

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Sun Aug 02, 2015 3:13 pm #109039

Our stout dwarven allies say their farewells and leave, their wagons laden with gold crafts and a few barrels of our finest meals. On the way out a goblin childsnatcher shows up right in the midst of the caravan, realising he has made a massive fucking mistake. After some mild banter they kill the shit out of him in short order.

http://i.imgur.com/htk7gzr.png

Fucking goblins. Our population is now 71, so we will probably start getting proper sieges after the next wave of migrants.

Oranges got a fey mood! He claimed a carpenters workshop and is currently hauling massive hematite boulders around. If it is not a statue of him shooting a kobold in the dick i will be so disapointed

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Sun Aug 02, 2015 3:26 pm #109045

Eh, it turns out to be a cage bearing a picture of some human named Oilyfurnace. Maybe i will dig through the ledgends and see who this guy is sometime.

http://i.imgur.com/4HrYsYN.png

Anyways i booted up stonesense to take some nice 3d pictures of our settlement

This first one shows our outdoor workshops, a few of our housing blocks, and the bigass hole that is the quarry. That is the smiths guild at the bottom, but stonesense does not have graphics for the new masterwork buildings

http://i.imgur.com/9E7UoxR.png

The second shows the tavern and hospital, as well as the meat and fish processing areas.

http://i.imgur.com/JpPQDuf.png

And this last one shows our pride and joy, the cannon bunker and main gate

http://i.imgur.com/KmpbyRN.png

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Sun Aug 02, 2015 3:47 pm #109049

Uh oh, the tigermen are back. This time they brought some actual decent fighters too. Time to show em what we are made of boys!

tedward1337 · Post by **tedward1337** » Sun Aug 02, 2015 3:56 pm #109053

So armoured war dogs when?

THE MIGHTY GALVATRON · Sun Aug 02, 2015 4:35 pm

Tigers dead yet?

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Sun Aug 02, 2015 5:52 pm #109068

Well that went better than expected.

Eponymous did not get to his cannon in time unfortunately. By the time he was loading it up the melee had begun, and i called the whole thing off to prevent us from blowing up our own troops.

There were two casualties this day. One was a fisherman, Ini Genoathra. They were hauling wood when the tigermen attacked, and stood no chance against the beasts, he was quickly slain by a swordmaster.

The second was a conscript musketeer, Wimad Saskmoala. They were headed up to the rifletower when the first tigermen crossed the bridge, and got overcome after shooting one of them in the chest. Anon3 and Galvatron ran up to help, but they were too late, and he was killed.

Then, showing blatant disregard for their own safety, Anon3 and Galvatron sprinted across the bridge alone into a horde of tigermen. Robert Cop and his riflemen sat above, firing in to the melee. The two of them actually managed to kick a ton of ass alone. I panicked and sent the rest of the troops after them, Azari was the first to join the brawl. The musketeers above did not actually get any kills directly, but they disable a whole shitload of them for easy kills.

Logs
http://i.imgur.com/cB9M2gP.png
http://i.imgur.com/fYxXSka.png
http://i.imgur.com/s3P3WSf.png

Azari was the surprise contender here, he netted himself five kills. Galvatron was a fucking whirlwind of death, mostly just chopping fuckers right in half with his massive fucking sword, netting herself 13 kills alone and acheiving swordmaster skill. The rest were spread around the other militiafolk pretty evenly.

Once our entire force had joined the fray we made short work of them. Combined rifle fire plus our asskicking militia and the fuckers did not stand a chance. Here is the aftermath

http://i.imgur.com/qjlOeCi.png

Rip in shit, tigerfuckers. Bring more guys next time.

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Sun Aug 02, 2015 6:00 pm #109071

There are a few superficial injuries, Anon3 has a bunch of cuts, and one random got his arm broken from a wrestler. As our men recuperate in the infirmary spring rolls around

THE MIGHTY GALVATRON · Sun Aug 02, 2015 6:13 pm

RULES OF NATURE!!!

RULES
OF
NAAAAAAATUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRE!!!!

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Sun Aug 02, 2015 6:30 pm #109085

Anon3 is the first to become a knight! In wake of the attack he has finally graduated from squiredom, and is currently the most senior in terms of rank. We have enough steel to start producing sets of platemail from our specialised armor forge, and we nearly have a blast furnace created.

Apparently paladinship is not far behind, as Anon3 and galvatron both become full fledged paladins not a week later. No pain, no fear, no exertion. This is actually fucking nuts, these two are unstoppable.

TheWiznard · Post by **TheWiznard** » Sun Aug 02, 2015 6:36 pm #109086

sweet shit, is the turret we got a turret of acid? I got a slade/slate (can't recall) turret when I was playing yesterday I love it. I have a problem because the last two migrant waves I've had brought 1 adult human and like 5-6 children still too young for work/jobs. apparently acid and web turrets only have like a range of 10 but slade/slate and some other bullet one has like a range of 25 an can even shoot down across zlevels. I set my turret on top of a like 2 wide tower up like 3 levels above my trade depot and it's gotten a bunch of kobold/succubus snatchers so far.

THE MIGHTY GALVATRON · Sun Aug 02, 2015 7:06 pm

Gonna need to see my character's profile now, since I'm sure some megabeast is going to come up and end her(or cripple her into obscurity).

Timbrewolf · Post by **Timbrewolf** » Sun Aug 02, 2015 8:11 pm #109103

Same. I'm sorry I missed staying current with the updates. I want Fan-Art of me and Galv and Azari back to back fighting off a bunch of tigermen on a bridge.

So fucking rad.

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Sun Aug 02, 2015 11:50 pm #109157

Will post some when I get home. Anon3 you will be heading the fortress guard, any load out preferences for your troops? I was thinking maybe one handed melee weapons and flintlock pistols for some nice combined arms ability

TheWiznard · Post by **TheWiznard** » Mon Aug 03, 2015 1:32 am #109191

http://i.imgur.com/J8BzFsU.jpg

I tried my best

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Mon Aug 03, 2015 1:48 am #109198

Absolutely beautiful ;-;

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Mon Aug 03, 2015 1:53 am #109199

Here is Anon3

http://i.imgur.com/pYMuunf.png

And Galvatron

http://i.imgur.com/ZXG3E3F.png

Ignore the needs alcohol tag, it is purely vestigal.

THE MIGHTY GALVATRON · Mon Aug 03, 2015 1:53 am

Good job on the white tigermen bro. It's good to take creative liberties.

Takeguru · Post by **Takeguru** » Mon Aug 03, 2015 1:59 am #109203

>A poor ability to manage or understand social relationships

DF calling the Onion out

THE MIGHTY GALVATRON · Mon Aug 03, 2015 2:04 am

>Likes bloodsteel, hellwine and black barghests for their terrifying howls.

My character is some kind of edgy mary-sue!

TheWiznard · Post by **TheWiznard** » Mon Aug 03, 2015 2:04 am #109206

THE MIGHTY GALVATRON wrote:Good job on the white tigermen bro. It's good to take creative liberties.

yeah I didn't even think about that lol. for some reason I thought it was like a group name thing and it just spaced my mind, if it hurts your immulsions you can just pretend they are white though : ^ )

edit: me and anon3 both absolutely detest mosquitoes, it's a good thing we didn't set up in a swamp where they would be in swar- wait a second

Timbrewolf · Post by **Timbrewolf** » Mon Aug 03, 2015 3:52 am #109223

Wyzack wrote:Here is Anon3

http://i.imgur.com/pYMuunf.png

-but he has little patience, a poor ability to understand or manage social relationships-
-He doesn't really care about anything anymore-

#REKT

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Mon Aug 03, 2015 1:43 pm #109306

An elf diplomat comes by just as Takeguru and Djingle lead another massive culling of trees with our growing team of professional lumberjacks. They look pretty pissed. He once again asks us to cut down no more than one hundred trees, and once again Sticky politely but firmly informs him that we cannot do that. He leaves in a big haughty huff, what an asshole. There seems to be no trade caravan with him either, so this means they got killed in the swamp on the way here or refusing to comply with these tree cutting mandates is damaging relations more than we thought.

ThanatosRa · Post by **ThanatosRa** » Mon Aug 03, 2015 8:43 pm #109380

I wanna see how fucknuts crazy Rex is.

ALSO: CANNONS CAAAANNOOOONS!