Character name: Saud Ibrahim
Ban reason: Created a Middle Eastern named and appearance character. Went around spraying people with baldium until they rolled mid round antag and then proceeded to suicide bomb the station while shouting racially insentive comments.
Time ban was placed: 2022-10-11 18:19:25
Server you were playing on when banned: Manuel
Round ID in which ban was placed: Round 192173
Your side of the story: Good evening,
So, this is one of those "it's not what it looks like" scenarios...
While this note doesn't impact me much, as it is just a note, I consider myself to be a very progressive person. On that account, I find the note both shameful and embarassing. Usually with "shitter" notes, I don't mind, since SS13 is a massive learning experience. But, when it comes to things like racism and blatant rules breaking, I would hate for that to characterise me as a player. So, I'm going to critique some of the contents of the note which I think paint an inaccurate picture.
First, to get the less relevant stuff out of the way:
I didn't really think this is an issue as an assistant, just standard MRP shenanigans that barely impacts anyone to my understanding. If that is an issue, please let me know, but otherwise I'm not sure what the significance of that part of the note is.Went around spraying people with baldium until they rolled mid round antag
Now, an inaccuracy (in my opinion):
The bombing part is true (not really the suicide however), but I think it misrepresents the situation. I don't blame the admin for this, as they never got a chance to speak with me, but here's my side of the story: I always hook up a health sensor (or sometimes other sensors depending) to a bomb payload, no matter the character I play on. This is just my way of creating a dead man's switch. In that case, I went to kill my target, and their group of friends killed me, detonating the bomb instantly. Now, I can see how this could be bad for MRP in hindsight, and I am absolutely fine with getting banned/noted for that. But, I did not intend to suicide bomb anyone. Like I said, it's a dead man's switch I use to deter people from attacking me in most cases. Furthermore, this had absolutely nothing to do with my character (I'll get into that shortly), I'm sure the logs will show that I make these dead man's switch contraptions very often, pretty much any time I roll antag.rolled mid round antag and then proceeded to suicide bomb the station
So, now I'll get to what motivated me to make this appeal. That is, the part about creating a Middle Eastern character and shouting racially insensitive comments.
First of all, IbbKuwaiti, and so Saud Ibrahim was my very first SS13 character when I started playing the game. The hair for instance, was from when I was so confused that I didn't know SS13 had hats (I started playing VERY blindly, not through a tide. I thought the game was basically Habbo Hotel starting out...). Basically, I brought the character back recently out of nostalgia for how silly my conceptualization of SS13 was back then, and it felt very comforting, like bringing a piece of my home/identity to this generally terrifying doomed space station. Having said that, that Kuwaiti stuff is no excuse for racism, especially since you have no way to verify who I am. BUT, I am contending two things here:
1. That my bombing was racially motivated.
2. That I was "shouting racially insensitive comments"
Through these, I will conclude that my character was in no ways intended to be racist, shittery notwithstanding.
I think I covered 1 quite well earlier. Is my bombing LRP shittery? Probably, sadly, and I accept all responsibility for that. But is it racially motivated, based on Islamist suicide bombers? Not for a moment.
As for 2., I assume this is referring to my use of the phrase "Mashallah". I think the note portrays (through assumption) that my character was basically screaming "ALLAHU ACKBAR" or "MASHALLAH" while blowing people up. This is not the case at all. Mashallah is an extremely common term used among Arabic speakers in daily conversation, even when speaking English. When people say it, we don't literally mean "What God has willed", in 99% of cases. It's honestly pretty secular in use. Anyway, to the point, I use this term constantly on that character, and most of the time there's no bombing involved, and pretty much never any shouting of it (maybe an exclamation, but I'd argue that's different). I also use the term "Brother" a lot. If anyone has an Arabic uncle or grew up in the Middle East, they will know how extremely common it is to say. I honestly find it extremely endearing since it reminds me of the older generations, the same goes for Mashallah really. My character is not some kind of raving Islamist lunatic, but a generally kind and peaceful Kuwaiti spessman. I'm sure if you look at most logs of that character, you will see how pleasant he is to be around when he's not contracted by the Syndicate to kill people. Of course, sometimes I get intensely bored, and baldium is one of my favourite outlets for that.
This was a pretty long response, so I apologise for that. I just want to prove beyond a reasonable doubt that I'm not a terrible person/racist looney who thinks suicide bombers are the funniest thing. I also want to continue to play my Kuwaiti character, as to me he is just an extension of myself in many ways. But, I do understand that TG values diligent community curation (I went to Manuel, myself, because I disliked how insensitive the LRP servers were), and I am prepared to delete him if necessary. But as I've said again and again, I'm also a relatively new player... If my dead man's switch contraption is LRP "shittery", I will gladly take a note, ban, whatever and change my ways immediately. I only ask that my note is reworded not to depict me as a racist with the intent of offending people and ruining rounds.
