Terrriiiibbllle Jokes Thread

Talk about non-ss13 stuff here.

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srifenbyxp
 
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Terrriiiibbllle Jokes Thread

Postby srifenbyxp » Wed Nov 19, 2014 11:21 am #44518

We make jokes, may they be terrible or good.

So a black guy, a gay guy and a chinese girl gets in a taxi cab and needs to pay the fair. The black guy can't pay it because he doesn't have money, the gay guy can't pay it because he thought the black guy stole his wallet, the chinese girl says "me so horny" and everyone looks towards the chinese girl to pay the driver.

Spoiler:
If you don't get it the punch line is prostitution.



Conversation:

By chance do you like tapes and cds?
<insert follow up>
Because I wanted to tape my dick to your forehead so you can see these nuts.
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Re: Terrriiiibbllle Jokes Thread

Postby Ricotez » Wed Nov 19, 2014 6:03 pm #44602

MimicFaux wrote:I remember my first time, full of wonderment and excitement playing this game I had heard so many stories about.
on the arrival shuttle, I saw the iconic toolbox on the ground. I clubbed myself in the head with it trying to figure out the controls.
Setting the tool box, now bloodied, back on the table; I went to heal myself with a medkit. I clubbed myself in the head with that too.
I've come a long ways from asking how to switch hands.

Spoiler:
#coderbus wrote:<MrPerson> How many coders does it take to make a lightbulb? Three, one to make it, one to pull the pull request, and one to fix the bugs

Kor wrote:The lifeweb playerbase is primarily old server 2 players so technically its our cancer that invaded them

peoplearestrange wrote:Scared of shadows whispers in their final breath, "/tg/station... goes on the tabl..."

DemonFiren wrote:Please, an Engineer's first response to a problem is "throw it into the singulo".

tedward1337 wrote:Donald Trump is literally what /pol/ would look like as a person

CrunchyCHEEZIT wrote:why does everything on this server have to be a federal fucking issue.

Saegrimr wrote:One guy was running around popping hand tele portals down in the halls before OPs even showed up and got several stranded out on lavaland.
The HoP just toolboxes someone to death out of nowhere, then gets speared by a chemist who saw him murder a guy, then the chemist gets beaten to death because someone else saw him kill the HoP.
Tele-man somehow dies and gets its looted by an atmos tech who managed to use it to send two nuke ops to lavaland, who were then surrounded by several very angry people from earlier and some extra golems on top of it.
Captain dies, gets cloned/revived, lasers the guy holding the disk into crit to take it back.
Some idiot tries to welderbomb the AI hiding out at mining for no discernible reason.
Two permabans and a dayban, i'm expecting a snarky appeal from one of them soon. What the fuck.

ShadowDimentio wrote:I am the problem

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Re: Terrriiiibbllle Jokes Thread

Postby youngbuckliontiger » Wed Nov 19, 2014 7:42 pm #44627

I was gonna tell you a joke about babies but im afraid ill have to abort it.
Player name: Rob Ust
Lets have fun in SS13!
I don't play anymore though.

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Re: Terrriiiibbllle Jokes Thread

Postby NikNakFlak » Wed Nov 19, 2014 8:23 pm #44630

I know lots of messed up humor and jokes but I have elected to share instead, astronomy related pick-up lines.

Girl, you are like an O class star. The hottest!

Babe, we are like the milky way and andromeda, destined to collide.
Hey girl, wanna see my gamma ray burst?

Girl, we are like two large bodies in space. We gravitate towards each other.

Hey, wanna go back to my place and accelerate all our clothes off at -9.81 m/s.

You're pretty, wanna fuck?
REDACTED
pm for deets

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Re: Terrriiiibbllle Jokes Thread

Postby ColonicAcid » Wed Nov 19, 2014 8:30 pm #44632

What did potassium oxide say about this thread?
It was OK.

Are you from Ireland? Cuz every time I see you my dick is dublin.
i would berry my dick so far inside you whoever pulled it out would be crowned king arthur
are you an antiquair? cuz i have some junk that hasn't been touched in years.
crack is whack but smacks got your back

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Re: Terrriiiibbllle Jokes Thread

Postby NikNakFlak » Thu Nov 20, 2014 4:31 am #44646

Shit, my dick just died. Can I bury it in your ass?
REDACTED
pm for deets

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Re: Terrriiiibbllle Jokes Thread

Postby miggles » Thu Nov 20, 2014 4:42 am #44648

ColonicAcid wrote:What did potassium oxide say about this thread?
It was OK.

>potassium oxide
>OK
that is not how chemistry works
dezzmont wrote:I am one of sawrge's alt accounts

dezzmont wrote:sawrge has it right.

Connor wrote:miggles is correct though

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Re: Terrriiiibbllle Jokes Thread

Postby youngbuckliontiger » Thu Nov 20, 2014 5:15 am #44656

I was gonna tell you a joke about chemistry but im just afraid they won't get a good reaction.
Player name: Rob Ust
Lets have fun in SS13!
I don't play anymore though.

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Re: Terrriiiibbllle Jokes Thread

Postby Maccus » Thu Nov 20, 2014 5:40 am #44660

How do you start an Ethiopian rave?

Duct-tape bread to the ceiling.
Spoiler:
Image

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Re: Terrriiiibbllle Jokes Thread

Postby InThePooPoo » Thu Nov 20, 2014 8:17 am #44676

knock knock
LMAO
i lov myself
world is volcano an big bun dickit signs
i lov myself
but it can do my in the but an i dont mine

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Re: Terrriiiibbllle Jokes Thread

Postby miggles » Fri Nov 21, 2014 2:01 am #44842

HAAAAIL, LAUGHING MINE OWN BUTTOCKS OFF
dezzmont wrote:I am one of sawrge's alt accounts

dezzmont wrote:sawrge has it right.

Connor wrote:miggles is correct though

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Re: Terrriiiibbllle Jokes Thread

Postby nsos » Fri Nov 21, 2014 2:29 am #44845

waint to hear a joke?

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Re: Terrriiiibbllle Jokes Thread

Postby nsos » Fri Nov 21, 2014 2:29 am #44846

u

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Re: Terrriiiibbllle Jokes Thread

Postby FredNodoor » Fri Nov 21, 2014 1:46 pm #44933

What do jews and money have in common? They both turn into ash!
My only dream is a world without mimes

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Re: Terrriiiibbllle Jokes Thread

Postby srifenbyxp » Wed Nov 26, 2014 12:56 pm #46133

I'm so white during the riots I went out and bought a television
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Re: Terrriiiibbllle Jokes Thread

Postby InThePooPoo » Thu Dec 04, 2014 7:42 pm #48219

FredNodoor wrote:What do jews and money have in common? They both turn into ash!

Shoulda said they were both used in fireplaces in germany
i lov myself
world is volcano an big bun dickit signs
i lov myself
but it can do my in the but an i dont mine

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Re: Terrriiiibbllle Jokes Thread

Postby srifenbyxp » Fri Dec 05, 2014 2:19 pm #48399

Two changelings are eating the clown, one of them says "Does this taste funny to you?"
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To be robust is not about combat prowess, it is the state of readiness for the situation at hand.

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Re: Terrriiiibbllle Jokes Thread

Postby Vekter » Sat Dec 06, 2014 10:38 am #48611

Unless it's changed in the last 2 years, the description for a clown burger is "It tastes funny". :tmyk:
Image
Image
Image


Spoiler:
Reply PM from-REDACTED/(REDACTED): i tried to remove the bruises by changing her gender

PM: Bluespace->Delaron: Nobody wants a mime's asscheeks farting on their brig windows.

PM: REDACTED->HotelBravoLima: Oh come on, knowing that these are hostile aliens is metagaming

[17:43] <Aranclanos> any other question ping me again
[17:43] <Vekter> Aranclanos for nicest coder 2015
[17:44] <Aranclanos> fuck you

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Re: Terrriiiibbllle Jokes Thread

Postby miggles » Sun Dec 07, 2014 3:03 am #48746

whats the similarity between muslims and e^x

you can integrate as much as you want, but it wont make a difference
dezzmont wrote:I am one of sawrge's alt accounts

dezzmont wrote:sawrge has it right.

Connor wrote:miggles is correct though

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Re: Terrriiiibbllle Jokes Thread

Postby Silavite » Sun Dec 07, 2014 7:16 am #48766

What country has the best swimmers?
FINland.

What do you get when you drop a piano down a mineshaft?
A Flat Minor!

Why can't bicycles stand up on their own?
They're Two-Tired!

My grandfather was an athlete, my dad was an athlete, and now I'm an athlete. You could say it runs in the family.

A: Hey did you hear about the kidnapping?
B: No.
A: It was pretty bad, but then the kid woke up.

Did you hear about the guy who got his whole left side cut off?
He's all right now.

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Re: Terrriiiibbllle Jokes Thread

Postby Pybro » Mon Dec 08, 2014 1:12 am #48935

What's the difference between a changeling and a pizza?

A pizza doesn't shout ;HELP SHITCURITY when you put it in the oven.

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Re: Terrriiiibbllle Jokes Thread

Postby Jacough » Mon Dec 08, 2014 6:18 am #48980

How many security officers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Spoiler:
Three, one to beat the clown to death, another to cuff the clown's corpse and throw it in perma, and a third to screw in the lightbulb
Image

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Re: Terrriiiibbllle Jokes Thread

Postby Big Faggot » Mon Dec 08, 2014 6:27 am #48989

hahhhhahahahah oh man so good im dying over here

hhahahhhahhahahahaaahahafaggots

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Re: Terrriiiibbllle Jokes Thread

Postby peoplearestrange » Mon Dec 08, 2014 5:26 pm #49094

What's Gandalf's favourite drink?

RUM YOU FOOLS!
Whatever
Spoiler:
oranges wrote:singulo.io is the center point of rational and calm debate, where much of tg's issues are worked out in a fun and family friendly environment

miggles wrote:it must have been quite the accomplishment, killing a dead butterfly

WeeYakk wrote:If you take a step back from everything watching the community argue janitor related changes is one of the most surreal and hilarious things about this game. Four pages of discussing the merits of there being too much or too little dirt in a video game.

Operative wrote:Vote PAS for headmin! Get cucked and feel good getting cucked.

TheNightingale wrote:I want to get off Mr. Scones's Wild Ride...

NikNakFlak wrote:Excuse you, I was doing intentional bug testing for the well being of the server. I do not make mistakes.

Fragnostic wrote:stop cucking the first shitshow ever that revolved around me.
This is my moment, what are you doing?!

Anonmare wrote:Oranges gestures at the thread, it shudders and begins to move!

Saegrimr wrote:
callanrockslol wrote:all you have to do is ban shitters until the playbase improves/ceases to exist, whichever comes first.

IM TRYING

Screemonster wrote:hellmoo is the mud for grown adults who main reaper in overwatch

Kor wrote:
confused rock wrote:...its like if we made fire extinguishers spawn in emergency boxes and have them heal you when you put out fires rather than them being in wall storages...


Are you having a stroke

bandit wrote:you are now manually GLORFing

MrStonedOne wrote:The best part about the election is when I announce my pick because I'm just as surprised as everybody else.

PM:[USER]->IrishWristWatch0: Yeah, im make it on but how im make the station to to sun and not go to sun

OOC: Francinum: Five Rounds at PAS's
"You are destinied to defeat Dr. Uguu and his 5 Robot Masters
(All-Access-Man, ShootyBlackCoat Man, ChloralHydrate Man, Singulo Man and TeleportArmor Man)"

I'm a box

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Re: Terrriiiibbllle Jokes Thread

Postby youngbuckliontiger » Mon Dec 08, 2014 8:43 pm #49142

A list of hot girls that you will fuck in your lifetime.

Spoiler:


;)
Player name: Rob Ust
Lets have fun in SS13!
I don't play anymore though.

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Re: Terrriiiibbllle Jokes Thread

Postby soulgamer » Fri Dec 19, 2014 3:03 pm #52179

Ive got some sick fucking jokes if you want those. I think I will lay of the dead baby jokes for now however.
Spoiler:
I like my women how I like my whiskey. Twelve years old and mixed up with coke.

Spoiler:
A guy goes to a bar, and says to his friend "You won't believe what happened. I was taking a short cut along the railway track, and I found a girl tied to it. I untied her, and then we had sex over and over again, all the positions, everything.
His friend replies, "That's great: did you get a blow job?"
Oh, no: I never found her head.

Spoiler:
I asked my wife, "What's your opinion on the on the president?"
"Its shit," she replied. "Absolute crap."
"More than likely," I said, "but let's hear it anyway."

Spoiler:
As he inserted the rectal thermometer, I got a painfully hard and obvious erection.
"Maybe you should wait outside whilst I examine your dog," said the vet.

Spoiler:
My dad and I were in a hotel and he tried the coffee and smiled and said
“Ahh, it’s like making love in a canoe.”
“It’s that good?” I asked and he stopped smiling looked me in the eye and said,
“No, it’s fucking close to water" before pouring it on the floor and walking away.

Spoiler:
A black man walks into a gas station and says to the cashier, "Gimme all the money in the till or I'll fucking shoot you!"
The cashier says, "But you haven't got a gun!"
The black man says, "Sorry, force of habit. Pump number four, please."

If any of these jokes offended you please write out a thorough and well thought out response telling me how much they offended you and why. When you are done please shove said response up your ass.

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Re: Terrriiiibbllle Jokes Thread

Postby PKPenguin321 » Sat Dec 20, 2014 10:44 am #52367

apply this after every joke: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6YMPAH67f4o

a man is in the hospital after almost choking to death on his cell phone
guess he had a
close call

a boy is in the hospital after holding his breath too long and passing out
"will i recover soon?" he asked
the doctor said, "dont hold your breath"

a man was run down by a motorcycle, forensics say he ran away for two blocks before running out of energy
guess you could say he got
two tired

we just ran forensics on the chefs food, the meat is from a gibbed sec officer
i guess you could say that justice
was served

i heard a server added this short cat species the other day
i guess you could say that that server
is getting a little furry

okay enough YEEAAAAH jokes theyre getting worse with each one

last joke, what do you call a clown who monkies himself at round start
Spoiler:
valid :^]
i play Lauser McMauligan. clown name is Cold-Ass Honkey
i have three other top secret characters as well.
tell the best admin how good he is
Spoiler:
Image

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Re: Terrriiiibbllle Jokes Thread

Postby soulgamer » Sat Dec 20, 2014 11:37 am #52372

ohh quick one I forgot

Spoiler:
What do you call a black man in space? An astronaut.

What do you call a black kid that swallowed a light bulb? An ambulance you sick fuck.


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