Watercooler/Slowchat 2: Son of Watercooler

EndgamerAzari · Tue Jul 14, 2015 8:25 pm

Bottom post of the previous page:

Yeah, I'm not usually a fan of that thick tar-like stuff most of the time, but mixed with hard cider the added acidity and sweetness balances it out perfectly.

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Tue Jul 14, 2015 8:29 pm #104418

Huh. I will give it a try. I mostly just drink straight whiskey and occasionally beer these days

THE MIGHTY GALVATRON · Tue Jul 14, 2015 8:30 pm

Wyzack wrote:Olde English is a good choice if you hate yourself and your body and want to die/are straight out the hood/have no money.

Damn you got me three for three there friendo.

DemonFiren · Post by **DemonFiren** » Tue Jul 14, 2015 11:00 pm #104438

Old English is really damn close to German grammatica...

...this isn't about linguistics, is it?

Ricotez · Post by **Ricotez** » Tue Jul 14, 2015 11:27 pm #104440

DemonFiren wrote:Old English is really damn close to German grammatica...

...this isn't about linguistics, is it?

don't get your spirits (mixed) up

Timbrewolf · Post by **Timbrewolf** » Wed Jul 15, 2015 4:37 am #104517

Wyzack wrote:Olde English is a good choice if you hate yourself and your body and want to die/are straight out the hood/have no money. Cider is a good bet if you do not think you will like that alchoholy taste

Dude fuck you.

Olde English is my favorite malt liqour. Colt 45 is high-tier. Mickey's is good too.

If you are the things you listed you are either drinking this swill:

This swill:

Or this swill:

If you want to experience true physical suffering, the actual tactile sensation of being at the bottom of life's barrel, honest-to-God hard times, go buy one of the tiny flask bottles of Barton's vodka and drink it in one go.

It's 200ml of distilled human suffering, it's the closest thing to drinking an orphan's tears in terms of pure anguish, and it will only cost you three American dollars.

Seriously do it. It will change your whole perspective on what it means to feel like shit. You could be on deathrow, watching them insert the needle for the lethal injection and the last thoughts to pass through you brain as your whole body begins to shutdown will be "Well at least they aren't giving me more Barton's..."

nsos · Post by **nsos** » Wed Jul 15, 2015 5:09 am #104522

brap brap this is the fun police i hear that there is discussion of HAVING FUN aka DRINKING ALCOHOL IN THIS SECTOR i am contacting the SXE GESTAPO IMMEDIATELY POST HASTE CLEAR THE VICINITY

nsos · Post by **nsos** » Wed Jul 15, 2015 5:09 am #104523

nsos · Post by **nsos** » Wed Jul 15, 2015 5:10 am #104524

nsos · Post by **nsos** » Wed Jul 15, 2015 5:11 am #104525

alright but seriously the worst thing i ever drank was someone fucking mixed olde english malt with hazelnut coffee and i been sober ever since

nsos · Post by **nsos** » Wed Jul 15, 2015 5:13 am #104527

man i have gotten nothing done this summer

nsos · Post by **nsos** » Wed Jul 15, 2015 5:59 am #104538

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Wed Jul 15, 2015 1:47 pm #104631

Nonsense, the shitposting you achieved this year is nothing short of monumental.

Up here in canadaland with our horribly overtaxed alcohol a 40 of OE is six bucks, which is about as cheap as alcohol gets. So you mostly see homeless dudes and underage kids drinking it. Also when I was a dumb underage kid I drank two and a half one fated St Patrick's day and hated my life for a little while. Thus ends my sad tale about why I don't like malt liquor

EndgamerAzari · Wed Jul 15, 2015 2:29 pm

I drank 12 shots of Crystal Head vodka in the space of about 90 minutes on Valentine's Day 2013. I think it's a testament to how good that shit is that I could actually do that. Woke up drunk the next day. I think I was actually on a Skype call with a few guys from here while I was doing that. Either that or I was streaming something.

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Fri Jul 17, 2015 3:18 am #105013

Time for my annual go and get hammered on the beach week. Gonna be sweet, finally get a vacation from my job as a detective shooting lizards in the face on an understaffed space station.

420weedscopes · Fri Jul 17, 2015 9:17 pm

i just did two weeks of work in two days i'm going to collapse into a fucking good lasagne now

DemonFiren · Post by **DemonFiren** » Fri Jul 17, 2015 9:24 pm #105189

Can I eat you once you do?

I'm kinda hungry for lasagna.

THE MIGHTY GALVATRON · Fri Jul 17, 2015 9:37 pm

Lasagna would be nice right now, haven't ate anything all day today.

Ricotez · Post by **Ricotez** » Fri Jul 17, 2015 9:44 pm #105194

I worked so hard this semester and still I'm failing my classes one by one.

I'm honestly about to just give up on my master's degree before I waste any more money on it and settle for a bachelor's.

EndgamerAzari · Fri Jul 17, 2015 9:58 pm

Ricotez wrote:I worked so hard this semester and still I'm failing my classes one by one.

I'm honestly about to just give up on my master's degree before I waste any more money on it and settle for a bachelor's.

I'm never one to advocate giving up on your education, but it may be prudent to make do with what you have, if possible. My master's degree hasn't proven to be worth the money, yet.

Loonikus · Post by **Loonikus** » Sat Jul 18, 2015 11:46 am #105310

Remember how back in late May a certain distant relative of mine purchased and renovated our old family villa? Remember how I mentioned he wasn't very popular?

Him and his... uh... "significant other" were both killed in a fatal automobile accident, involving a head on collision between their car and over 60 bullets. Due to his... atypical relationships he left no heirs to his fortune, so the villa has been given to another relative. Which is funny, because said relative hardly even knew the deceased yet he was very recently added to the will, most likely due to the Sacra Corona Unita making fraudulent changes to the will completely legitimate reasons.

Ricotez · Post by **Ricotez** » Sat Jul 18, 2015 11:47 am #105311

Loonikus are you sure you're not from a mob family

DemonFiren · Post by **DemonFiren** » Sat Jul 18, 2015 12:17 pm #105321

You gotta be shitting me.

Loonikus · Post by **Loonikus** » Sat Jul 18, 2015 12:41 pm #105326

Ricotez wrote:Loonikus are you sure you're not from a mob family

I'm pretty sure you asked me that before and my answer is the same.

No comment.

Jacough · Post by **Jacough** » Sat Jul 18, 2015 1:17 pm #105330

My girlfriend celebrated one month of sobriety this month. Proud as fuck of her. She's come a long way and I know that next month she's going to be picking up her two month tag. She's also counting down the days until I pick up my one year tag/chip in December.

Timbrewolf · Post by **Timbrewolf** » Sat Jul 18, 2015 7:08 pm #105363

EndgamerAzari wrote:I drank 12 shots of Crystal Head vodka in the space of about 90 minutes on Valentine's Day 2013. I think it's a testament to how good that shit is that I could actually do that. Woke up drunk the next day. I think I was actually on a Skype call with a few guys from here while I was doing that. Either that or I was streaming something.

haha fuck I remember that. We were chatting. I was also gettin' salty and boozing. We had a mega guy brotime skype chat where we both got shitty. I don't remember who else was there but I think we had more than just us in the chat.

I had a really good date that I thought was going to be fucking terrible last night. She turned out to be really smart and funny and not a total bitch like I had kinda figured she was. We watched a drunk girl fall down some stairs together and we both stood there trying not to laugh. The person helping her down the stairs said "Be careful, there are stairs everywhere." and we both lost it.

I bought a bass guitar. I've never played bass or tried to learn before. I've been listening to so much Death From Above 1979 lately I couldn't fucking help myself. I got a used Ibanez SDGR 4 string and am having a blast with it. It's a lot more physical work than playing a regular guitar. Shit's heavy.

bandit · Post by **bandit** » Sat Jul 18, 2015 8:26 pm #105386

none of you motherfuckers have tried the ...glory? that is malort

Timbrewolf · Post by **Timbrewolf** » Sat Jul 18, 2015 8:46 pm #105399

bandit wrote:none of you motherfuckers have tried the ...glory? that is malort

Is that a drink? Never heard of it. Do tell.

nsos · Post by **nsos** » Sun Jul 19, 2015 7:38 am #105473

Maccus · Post by **Maccus** » Sun Jul 19, 2015 8:15 am #105480

TheWiznard wrote:what should someone who has never drank alcohol but wants to try it, try first? I turned 21 on 6/30 but I've only had some silly peach winecooler thing when I went to my aunt's house and they were all like "oh you have to try something!" it was okay but not really for me.

Literally any smirnoff ice. Tastes good, doesn't really get you even a little tipsy until you drink an entire six pack, easy gateway to try with other drinks.

Just don't drink them too fast. The sugar will make your stomach somersault inside of you until you're spewing from both ends.

Remie Richards · Sun Jul 19, 2015 12:30 pm

Had a laughing fit/argument with my mother about how she can't pronounce the letter "g" in the middle of words.
google --> goodle
so I decided to take the piss and say, how about "goggle(s)" and she came out with goddle, not even jokingly.
I'd say a word the way she says it, and then the way I say it (properly) and she'd think both were said witha g.

Timbrewolf · Post by **Timbrewolf** » Sun Jul 19, 2015 3:22 pm #105511

This was one of the first things I started drinking when I started drinking.

If you want to have a magnificent beard in your future, drink whiskey.

Remie Richards · Sun Jul 19, 2015 3:23 pm

I need to kill a few hours before I go out with some friends later.
I decided to play some pokedraw.

Off to a good start, just wasted 10+ minutes laughing at my own creation.
I don't even have words for what kind of expression that is.

DemonFiren · Post by **DemonFiren** » Sun Jul 19, 2015 3:32 pm #105513

I think it's a mixture of shock and disgust at its own form.

Timbrewolf · Post by **Timbrewolf** » Sun Jul 19, 2015 3:48 pm #105516

That face looks kinda familiar

THE MIGHTY GALVATRON · Sun Jul 19, 2015 4:09 pm

My girlfriend draws waaaay too much pokemon.

I get physically ill looking at pokemon now, damn.

Unless it's Dunsparce, can't get enough of that guy.

nsos · Post by **nsos** » Mon Jul 20, 2015 5:34 am #105740

i've started to dislike my internship, it's hot, i have to switch gyms, i'm travelling a lot more than i'd like, it's hot, my sleep schedule is completely destroyed, i haven't touched a guitar in 2 weeks, i need new shoes, it's hot, i accidentally kicked my skateboard into a sewer drain, i'm waiting at a snail's pace for people around me to get things done so i can move on, and i've mostly been subsisting on coconut water and leftover chow mein, and it's hot.

but otherwise no complainrts

nsos · Post by **nsos** » Mon Jul 20, 2015 5:39 am #105742

you guys remember that twisted metal character and he was literally just a black guy stuck between two tires? wild game

THE MIGHTY GALVATRON · Mon Jul 20, 2015 3:24 pm

We're getting hot rain over here, this is some Florida crap I tell you what!

EndgamerAzari · Mon Jul 20, 2015 8:25 pm

An0n3 wrote:haha fuck I remember that. We were chatting. I was also gettin' salty and boozing. We had a mega guy brotime skype chat where we both got shitty. I don't remember who else was there but I think we had more than just us in the chat.

I miss those days. I may have been poor(er) and still in school, but I felt like I had my whole life ahead of me and I could still occasionally revel properly. Nowadays I barely talk to anyone outside of work.

nsos · Post by **nsos** » Mon Jul 20, 2015 9:53 pm #105956

i've been listening to a band for so long that now i'm listening to an EP that the son of the singer just put out

fuck i'm not even old FUCK

EndgamerAzari · Mon Jul 20, 2015 9:58 pm

Y'old

Y'OOOLLLLDDDD

Timbrewolf · Post by **Timbrewolf** » Tue Jul 21, 2015 12:06 am #106015

nsos wrote:you guys remember that twisted metal character and he was literally just a black guy stuck between two tires? wild game

His name was Axel.

Geddit?

THE MIGHTY GALVATRON · Tue Jul 21, 2015 12:14 am

An0n3 wrote:
nsos wrote:you guys remember that twisted metal character and he was literally just a black guy stuck between two tires? wild game

His name was Axel.

Geddit?

All I remember of that guy is his ending where he says 'I ain't never gon' be free' in like the most old black man voice possible.

Course it's been forever since I played Twisted Metal Black so I could be misremembering all of it.

Timbrewolf · Post by **Timbrewolf** » Tue Jul 21, 2015 12:23 am #106019

Yeah he says it and then he immediately rips his arms off and walks out of the machine.

I AINT NEVA GON B FREE

*frees self*

EDIT: No wait I'm mashing together his Twisted Metal 2 and Twisted Metal Black endings.

Twisted Metal 2 is the one where he asks his dad to let him out of the machine, and when he says no he rips his own arms off because why the fuck not.

Twisted Metal Black is the one with the classic ILL NEVA B FREE quote

peoplearestrange · Tue Jul 21, 2015 12:49 am

I need to stop going to bed at 2am every night... it's going to kill me.
I wake up every morning feeling shattered and unrested.
*yawns*

Timbrewolf · Post by **Timbrewolf** » Tue Jul 21, 2015 3:19 am #106065

I'm running out of pipe tobacco. I've been enjoying the Lane's 1-Q I've been smoking but I think I'll also pickup an aromatic blend when I refill next.

I've been rotating two pipes with the Lane's and they've both cured up real nicely. Carbon cake is bumpin', tobacco is roastin' smoothly. I've got a straight Canadian and an Apple bend that I haven't been working on, and they're fresh so I think I'll inaugurate them as my aromatic pipes.

nsos · Post by **nsos** » Tue Jul 21, 2015 4:54 am #106089

peoplearestrange · Tue Jul 21, 2015 2:04 pm

An0n3 wrote:I'm running out of pipe tobacco. I've been enjoying the Lane's 1-Q I've been smoking but I think I'll also pickup an aromatic blend when I refill next.

I've been rotating two pipes with the Lane's and they've both cured up real nicely. Carbon cake is bumpin', tobacco is roastin' smoothly. I've got a straight Canadian and an Apple bend that I haven't been working on, and they're fresh so I think I'll inaugurate them as my aromatic pipes.

Is it like the law that every bearded man smokes a pipe? I've almost yet to see an example otherwise...

EndgamerAzari · Tue Jul 21, 2015 3:02 pm

peoplearestrange wrote:Is it like the law that every bearded man smokes a pipe? I've almost yet to see an example otherwise...

I don't, but then again, I only have a goatee, so I'm not sure that counts.

Also HOLY FUCK I THINK I HAVE AN INTERVIEW NEXT WEEK

EDIT: CONFIRMED

INTERVIEW MONDAY

FUCK I GOTTA PUT TOGETHER A PRESENTATION

COMMENCE PANIC

peoplearestrange · Tue Jul 21, 2015 4:22 pm

Good luck man!