Watercooler/Slowchat 2: Son of Watercooler

Deitus · Post by **Deitus** » Tue Dec 15, 2015 9:46 pm #140672

Bottom post of the previous page:

Ricotez wrote:
Deitus wrote:
Ricotez wrote:I accidentally dropped my iPod down an elevator shaft a few weeks ago, from the 4th floor.

Got it back today because another elevator in the building broke down, so the mechanic finally had a reason to come by. The damn thing still works! The audio jack no longer sends the left-side audio signal but that's an issue any repair shop with a soldering iron can solve.

It's a 3rd gen iPod Nano, so about 8 years old by now? Older Apple stuff is sturdy as a rock.
how the fuck did you manage to drop an ipod down a fucking elevator shaft
there's usually a gap between the doors

and ipods are thin

and I drop things a lot

yeah but still its like

you have to AIM to fuck up that bad

damn

Screemonster · Tue Dec 15, 2015 10:08 pm

Deitus wrote:
Ricotez wrote:
Deitus wrote:
Ricotez wrote:I accidentally dropped my iPod down an elevator shaft a few weeks ago, from the 4th floor.

Got it back today because another elevator in the building broke down, so the mechanic finally had a reason to come by. The damn thing still works! The audio jack no longer sends the left-side audio signal but that's an issue any repair shop with a soldering iron can solve.

It's a 3rd gen iPod Nano, so about 8 years old by now? Older Apple stuff is sturdy as a rock.
how the fuck did you manage to drop an ipod down a fucking elevator shaft
there's usually a gap between the doors

and ipods are thin

and I drop things a lot
yeah but still its like

you have to AIM to fuck up that bad

damn

I'm always paranoid I'm going to drop my phone or my keycard in that gap. This was never a problem with my first phone.
Then again that was a Philips C12 and it would probably break the floor if I dropped it

TheWiznard · Post by **TheWiznard** » Tue Dec 15, 2015 10:25 pm #140688

Screemonster wrote:
Deitus wrote:
Ricotez wrote:
Deitus wrote:
Ricotez wrote:I accidentally dropped my iPod down an elevator shaft a few weeks ago, from the 4th floor.

Got it back today because another elevator in the building broke down, so the mechanic finally had a reason to come by. The damn thing still works! The audio jack no longer sends the left-side audio signal but that's an issue any repair shop with a soldering iron can solve.

It's a 3rd gen iPod Nano, so about 8 years old by now? Older Apple stuff is sturdy as a rock.
how the fuck did you manage to drop an ipod down a fucking elevator shaft
there's usually a gap between the doors

and ipods are thin

and I drop things a lot
yeah but still its like

you have to AIM to fuck up that bad

damn
I'm always paranoid I'm going to drop my phone or my keycard in that gap. This was never a problem with my first phone.
Then again that was a Philips C12 and it would probably break the floor if I dropped it

Every single time I go to the bathroom I think "Is today going to be the day I drop my glasses into the toilet?" ; "well my glasses are still on, count: 0"

DemonFiren · Post by **DemonFiren** » Tue Dec 15, 2015 10:35 pm #140691

It happened to me, once.
After taking a massive shit, of course.

Boy, was that fun.

Ricotez · Post by **Ricotez** » Tue Dec 15, 2015 11:57 pm #140711

Deitus wrote:yeah but still its like

you have to AIM to fuck up that bad

damn

I pulled my ipod out of my pocket, accidentally let it slip through my fingers, and it slided, I kid you fucking not, it fucking slided over the ground into that stupid gap. I saw it happen in slow motion but I was frozen in horror

then I heard three heartbreaking impact sounds echo down from the shaft, each more distant than the last, and I stared at the gap for a few seconds while I wondered if anyone in the history of failure ever fucked up that badly

Deitus · Post by **Deitus** » Wed Dec 16, 2015 12:59 am #140723

Ricotez wrote:
Deitus wrote:yeah but still its like

you have to AIM to fuck up that bad

damn
I pulled my ipod out of my pocket, accidentally let it slip through my fingers, and it slided, I kid you fucking not, it fucking slided over the ground into that stupid gap. I saw it happen in slow motion but I was frozen in horror

then I heard three heartbreaking impact sounds echo down from the shaft, each more distant than the last, and I stared at the gap for a few seconds while I wondered if anyone in the history of failure ever fucked up that badly

thats not the worst fuckup i've ever heard i suppose, but damn that luck

TheWiznard · Post by **TheWiznard** » Wed Dec 16, 2015 1:42 am #140735

one time I was helping my dad carry a washing machine to our basement when I was like 15, the stairs to our basement are really odd shaped like an "『" and it's really low. I was about 6' an my dad was nearly 6'6 - 6'7 and and I was as thin as a stick and accidentally dropped my end of the washer and it slid down the stairs and the top slammed into bout his belly button area and knocked the wind out of him, I just stood frozen in horror until he was like "the fuck you doing, pick it up!" that thing probably weighed about 100-120 pounds (or more, I'm bad at guessing objects weight) and he wasn't even fazed by it. edit: best way I could describe how his build like is, "takamura, without a pompadour"

TheWiznard · Post by **TheWiznard** » Wed Dec 16, 2015 9:43 am #140842

mostly me talking to myself

Spoiler:

Ricotez · Post by **Ricotez** » Wed Dec 16, 2015 12:19 pm #140852

sounds like a depression, I have the exact same problem

the problem with being depressed is that getting out of it is extremely hard and what you need to do tends to differ a lot between people. for me personally what works best is to get up in time and stay at campus until 17:30-18:00 to study and work on assignments, then take the evenings off to relax unless there's an extremely urgent deadline.

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Wed Dec 16, 2015 4:12 pm #140879

That sounds like me for most of my college program. My gpa is pretty mediocre as a result, and I kind of fucked myself because it is probably not high enough to get in to grad school. My worst fucking nightmare is that I will get stuck doing QQ testing in a food factory because I cannot get any other job

Deitus · Post by **Deitus** » Wed Dec 16, 2015 7:15 pm #140926

why do i feel so happy today? i have finals to do and a 7 page essay to write. i have no reason to be happy.

i hate it when this happens.

Malkevin · Post by **Malkevin** » Wed Dec 16, 2015 7:52 pm #140928

Making beef jerky for a bring and share thing at work.

This is my second time making jerky, first time tasted awesome... was going to bring some in for work but my family munched most it.

This one... doesn't taste as strong, I think I added too much water to my marinade.
I will forever be known as shitty jerky man

Deitus · Post by **Deitus** » Wed Dec 16, 2015 7:54 pm #140929

Malkevin wrote:Making beef jerky for a bring and share thing at work.

This is my second time making jerky, first time tasted awesome... was going to bring some in for work but my family munched most it.

This one... doesn't taste as strong, I think I added too much water to my marinade.
I will forever be known as shitty jerky man

isnt beef jerky just meat + salt + time? like the shit you get from vending machines

Malkevin · Post by **Malkevin** » Wed Dec 16, 2015 8:19 pm #140936

Air dried meat, there's a way of doing it in the oven.
Its really tasty.

Home made is a lot better than the packet stuff, thats full of shit like nitrates that are really bad for you. Salt and nitrates are only if you want to cure the meat so it has a long shelf life, if bacteria doesn't want to eat it you probably shouldn't either.
Plus the packet stuff here is really over priced. Works out to around £52 per kilo here. This batch I've made is around £10 for a kilo of it.

Deitus · Post by **Deitus** » Wed Dec 16, 2015 8:21 pm #140937

Malkevin wrote:Air dried meat, there's a way of doing it in the oven.
Its really tasty.

Home made is a lot better than the packet stuff, thats full of shit like nitrates that are really bad for you. Salt and nitrates are only if you want to cure the meat so it has a long shelf life, if bacteria doesn't want to eat it you probably shouldn't either.
Plus the packet stuff here is really over priced. Works out to around £52 per kilo here. This batch I've made is around £10 for a kilo of it.

goddamn europeans and your weird "E" monetary system

USE DOLLARS LIKE REAL PATRIOTS YOU MONARCHY LOVING SWINE

Malkevin · Post by **Malkevin** » Wed Dec 16, 2015 8:32 pm #140939

I would convert the numbers for dumb septics to understand, but then I remembered this is a man snack and you're an effeminate homo.

Deitus · Post by **Deitus** » Wed Dec 16, 2015 8:49 pm #140941

Malkevin wrote:I would convert the numbers for dumb septics to understand, but then I remembered this is a man snack and you're an effeminate homo.

i resent that, sir, and you can see in the picture thread that i am most certainly masculine in appearance. it is truly a sad day when a man is judged for wanting to have a mature, masculine discussion about women having penises, though i would hardly expect one of your "english" ilk to understand.

TheWiznard · Post by **TheWiznard** » Thu Dec 17, 2015 12:18 am #141008

took a cert final exam thing today. passing line was 1100 I got 1000 fuck never been madder. I even semi felt like I had sort of a clue what I was doing.

Zilenan91 · Post by **Zilenan91** » Thu Dec 17, 2015 12:21 am #141009

I was on my way home from work today when I suddenly felt a massive booger in my nose, so I look around to see if anyone's around me, and then pick it. I manage to get one of them out before I gave myself a bloody nose, though I had a rag on me thankfully, and didn't get any blood on my clothes.

Takeguru · Post by **Takeguru** » Thu Dec 17, 2015 4:21 am #141040

My jacket finally arrived so now I don't have to freeze my ass in the mornings.

M65 field jacket, Austrian edition.
Warmest jacket I've ever worn, though one of the buttons is falling off and I need to repair it.

Sorry, I lied, they didn't have Austrian in my size, I got the Polish edition.
It's cold, leave me alone.

420weedscopes · Thu Dec 17, 2015 12:58 pm

got my second ever csgo ace
with dualies

Deitus · Post by **Deitus** » Thu Dec 17, 2015 1:46 pm #141078

Zilenan91 wrote:I was on my way home from work today when I suddenly felt a massive booger in my nose, so I look around to see if anyone's around me, and then pick it. I manage to get one of them out before I gave myself a bloody nose, though I had a rag on me thankfully, and didn't get any blood on my clothes.

since i literally, physically cannot blow my nose im pretty sure my nostrils are just all scar tissue now since i have to either pick that shit or let them fester

Takeguru wrote:My jacket finally arrived so now I don't have to freeze my ass in the mornings.

M65 field jacket, Austrian edition.
Warmest jacket I've ever worn, though one of the buttons is falling off and I need to repair it.

Sorry, I lied, they didn't have Austrian in my size, I got the Polish edition.
It's cold, leave me alone.

>not having glorious austrian coat master race

420weedscopes wrote:got my second ever csgo ace
with dualies

>any year
>playing go

EndgamerAzari · Thu Dec 17, 2015 3:46 pm

Today is the office Christmas party and there are so many fancy cupcakes in the cafeteria

Post by **Thunder11** » Thu Dec 17, 2015 4:24 pm #141108

EndgamerAzari wrote:Today is the office Christmas party and there are so many fancy cupcakes in the cafeteria

You must resist the temptation

EndgamerAzari · Thu Dec 17, 2015 4:30 pm

AND somebody made a cake in celebration of the new Star Wars movie. I hate being on a diet.

THE MIGHTY GALVATRON · Thu Dec 17, 2015 4:41 pm

EndgamerAzari wrote:AND somebody made a cake in celebration of the new Star Wars movie. I hate being on a diet.

The frosting doesn't even taste that good bro and you know it.

EndgamerAzari · Thu Dec 17, 2015 4:51 pm

I DON'T CARE HOW IT TASTES

IT'S FREE

Ricotez · Post by **Ricotez** » Thu Dec 17, 2015 6:00 pm #141124

EndgamerAzari wrote:I DON'T CARE HOW IT TASTES

IT'S FREE

are you sure you're not dutch?

EndgamerAzari · Thu Dec 17, 2015 7:43 pm

Ricotez wrote:
EndgamerAzari wrote:I DON'T CARE HOW IT TASTES

IT'S FREE
are you sure you're not dutch?

I'm honestly not sure of my heritage. I've got a German last name, but that could imply my ancestors were from any country near Germany--the Netherlands shares a border with Germany, right?

Deitus · Post by **Deitus** » Thu Dec 17, 2015 7:45 pm #141135

EndgamerAzari wrote:AND somebody made a cake in celebration of the new Star Wars movie. I hate being on a diet.

mmmmm-mmm. i tell ya, eating at college is nice. LITERALLY every day they have steak, in-house burgers, beer battered french fries, a full soft-serve ice cream station with a toppings selection from cherries to brownie bits to caramel, muffins, gourmet cake slices, lasagna, oh boy oh boy im getting hungry just thinking about it.

have fun with that diet though faggot hahahahaha

EndgamerAzari · Thu Dec 17, 2015 7:54 pm

Deitus wrote:
EndgamerAzari wrote:AND somebody made a cake in celebration of the new Star Wars movie. I hate being on a diet.
mmmmm-mmm. i tell ya, eating at college is nice. LITERALLY every day they have steak, in-house burgers, beer battered french fries, a full soft-serve ice cream station with a toppings selection from cherries to brownie bits to caramel, muffins, gourmet cake slices, lasagna, oh boy oh boy im getting hungry just thinking about it.

have fun with that diet though faggot hahahahaha

Yeah, I used to be young, too. Enjoy your fast metabolism for the couple more years it lasts. In a few years you'll be just like me.

Deitus · Post by **Deitus** » Thu Dec 17, 2015 8:26 pm #141138

EndgamerAzari wrote:
Deitus wrote:
EndgamerAzari wrote:AND somebody made a cake in celebration of the new Star Wars movie. I hate being on a diet.
mmmmm-mmm. i tell ya, eating at college is nice. LITERALLY every day they have steak, in-house burgers, beer battered french fries, a full soft-serve ice cream station with a toppings selection from cherries to brownie bits to caramel, muffins, gourmet cake slices, lasagna, oh boy oh boy im getting hungry just thinking about it.

have fun with that diet though faggot hahahahaha
Yeah, I used to be young, too. Enjoy your fast metabolism for the couple more years it lasts. In a few years you'll be just like me.

>implying i wont be dead within the decade anyway

HAH

in other news, is arma 3 actually any good? if a computer could run csgo could it run it as well?

Malkevin · Post by **Malkevin** » Thu Dec 17, 2015 8:49 pm #141142

Maybe I should move to america so I'd be average weight for a change.

LiamLime · Post by **LiamLime** » Thu Dec 17, 2015 9:04 pm #141145

Deitus wrote:is arma 3 actually any good?

No. It's just a load of walking from place to place through forests and fields and seeing no combat whatsoever. And then getting shot through two hedge rows by an enemy who can obviously see you through all the foliage, even though there is no gap in the textures and models, because cheating AI. And then later coming into a town and having an enemy stare at a wall, despite you being clearly in its line of sight.

Enemy AI is atrocious in Arma 3. It can be fun if you do PvP in it and there are some fun short maps (like escape maps), but overall Arma 3 is just plain unfun. Only get it if you and your friends enjoy playing soldier, because you can have fun pretending to be doing tacticool maneuvers, but when it comes to the actual "shooting at enemies" part, Arma 3 falls apart.

Also it has neck movement that is separate from player movement. Meaning if you hold alt and move your mouse, only your head moves, and that is the single best feature ever, which I want in every first person shooter. Once you get used to that, you really can't go back to cs:go, cod, battlefield and whatever other shooters kids play these days, without wanting independent neck movement.

Deitus wrote:if a computer could run csgo could it run it as well?

No. CSGO runs on a toaster, Arma 3 requires a fairly recent PC to run, and a monster of a PC to run good.

Malkevin · Post by **Malkevin** » Thu Dec 17, 2015 9:12 pm #141147

I'm considering getting a modern day class style shooter after the tribes update reminded me how much I liked twitch shooters instead of bloody-screen-so-real, but then I remembered I'm becoming an old bastard and my reflexes are turning to shit.

What are these unlocks in CS:GO?
Are they just vanity items like skins/hats, or shit that gives you a PVP advantage?
Because P2W/fast-rank-sperging is the cancer of modern gaming.

TheWiznard · Post by **TheWiznard** » Thu Dec 17, 2015 9:24 pm #141149

Malkevin wrote:I'm considering getting a modern day class style shooter after the tribes update reminded me how much I liked twitch shooters instead of bloody-screen-so-real, but then I remembered I'm becoming an old bastard and my reflexes are turning to shit.

What are these unlocks in CS:GO?
Are they just vanity items like skins/hats, or shit that gives you a PVP advantage?
Because P2W/fast-rank-sperging is the cancer of modern gaming.

no every unlock in csgo is strictly cosmetic, unless you count music kits, which still don't give you an advantage.
unless you unbox a knife and make $200 dollars. the most expensive thing I've unboxed was a $5 ak47 skin but I sold it because it was about to got under $5's

Deitus · Post by **Deitus** » Thu Dec 17, 2015 9:27 pm #141150

Malkevin wrote:I'm considering getting a modern day class style shooter after the tribes update reminded me how much I liked twitch shooters instead of bloody-screen-so-real, but then I remembered I'm becoming an old bastard and my reflexes are turning to shit.

What are these unlocks in CS:GO?
Are they just vanity items like skins/hats, or shit that gives you a PVP advantage?
Because P2W/fast-rank-sperging is the cancer of modern gaming.

i would recommend unreal tournament four, its only in alpha but its free and fun imo.

also thinking of preordering dragon's dogma, looks souls-like and im a sucker for that kind of dark fantasy

EndgamerAzari · Fri Dec 18, 2015 3:09 pm

Holy Christ my insides

It is possible to overdose on fiber gummies

Deitus · Post by **Deitus** » Fri Dec 18, 2015 3:32 pm #141292

EndgamerAzari wrote:Holy Christ my insides

It is possible to overdose on fiber gummies

uhhh

EndgamerAzari · Fri Dec 18, 2015 6:39 pm

Deitus wrote:
EndgamerAzari wrote:Holy Christ my insides

It is possible to overdose on fiber gummies
uhhh

My body keeps trying to shit but there's no shit left to shit

DemonFiren · Post by **DemonFiren** » Fri Dec 18, 2015 7:47 pm #141327

Guess you're in a world of shit.

TheWiznard · Post by **TheWiznard** » Fri Dec 18, 2015 7:55 pm #141331

EndgamerAzari wrote:
Deitus wrote:
EndgamerAzari wrote:Holy Christ my insides

It is possible to overdose on fiber gummies
uhhh
My body keeps trying to shit but there's no shit left to shit

how the hell do yo overdose on fiber gummies? there are literally directions on the side of the bottle telling you how many to take in a day?
Vitamin C Tangerine gummies represent

EndgamerAzari · Fri Dec 18, 2015 7:56 pm

TheWiznard wrote:
EndgamerAzari wrote:
Deitus wrote:
EndgamerAzari wrote:Holy Christ my insides

It is possible to overdose on fiber gummies
uhhh
My body keeps trying to shit but there's no shit left to shit
how the hell do yo overdose on fiber gummies? there are literally directions on the side of the bottle telling you how many to take in a day?
Vitamin C Tangerine gummies represent

Because they fucking TASTE GOOD and I was HUNGRY

TheWiznard · Post by **TheWiznard** » Fri Dec 18, 2015 8:04 pm #141334

EndgamerAzari wrote:
TheWiznard wrote:
EndgamerAzari wrote:
Deitus wrote:
EndgamerAzari wrote:Holy Christ my insides

It is possible to overdose on fiber gummies
uhhh
My body keeps trying to shit but there's no shit left to shit
how the hell do yo overdose on fiber gummies? there are literally directions on the side of the bottle telling you how many to take in a day?
Vitamin C Tangerine gummies represent
Because they fucking TASTE GOOD and I was HUNGRY

maybe you should invest in Soylent
[youtube]t8NCigh54jg[/youtube]

EndgamerAzari · Fri Dec 18, 2015 8:08 pm

I keep getting targeted ads for that stuff on Facebook and just looking at it makes me feel like I'm about to blow my asshole out.

TheWiznard · Post by **TheWiznard** » Fri Dec 18, 2015 8:15 pm #141336

EndgamerAzari wrote:I keep getting targeted ads for that stuff on Facebook and just looking at it makes me feel like I'm about to blow my asshole out.

well considering your other actions maybe it won't be that bad after all? ⤜(▰‿‿▰)⤏

Nienhaus · Post by **Nienhaus** » Fri Dec 18, 2015 8:50 pm #141340

I've had two different versions of Soylent. First one spelt like playdoo and felt like sand, and the second one had a slight taste of sweet bread and was less like sand.

Zilenan91 · Post by **Zilenan91** » Fri Dec 18, 2015 10:40 pm #141346

I got out of the shower today and when I was walking over to my dresser I FUCKING SLAMMED MY TOE INTO THE STEEL BED FRAME FICKITY FUCK FUCK FUCK

Bled like a son of a bitch, the toenail is probably gonna fall out at some point I hit it so hard.

THE MIGHTY GALVATRON · Sat Dec 19, 2015 12:24 am

Those goofs at the Disney Store were holding a raffle for the right to purchase an unmasked Kylo Ren die-cast figure. I haven't seen the film yet and they got like 25 of those things in the back in the break room and I have to pretty much keep my head turned away the whole time I was in there.

Why would they do this!?

Takeguru · Post by **Takeguru** » Sat Dec 19, 2015 3:29 am #141388

Don't worry, it's just Jar Jar.

Kraso · Post by **Kraso** » Sat Dec 19, 2015 1:55 pm #141422

hap bday 2 m e