oranges wrote: ↑Fri Jan 05, 2024 10:00 pm
Hey space-fellows, it's your citrusy comrade oranges here, one-third of the unholy trinity of game designers over at TGStation. Today, let's talk about the absolute absurdity that is the shotgun in our spacelicious masterpiece.
Now, imagine you're cruising through the vast vacuum of space, right? Everything's all high-tech and futuristic, and what do we decide to arm our crew with? Shotguns! Yes, because when I think of space station defense, I definitely picture a grizzled janitor with a double-barreled blaster, ready to take on hostile alien life forms.
I get it, it's iconic and all. Shotguns are like the mullets of weaponry – business in the front, party in the back. But seriously, do you really think in the far-flung future, we'd still be relying on 19th-century Wild West technology to defend our floating metal can of science?
Picture this: You're a brilliant scientist, a mastermind of technological wonders, and suddenly, an alien menace breaches your pristine laboratory. What's your defense? A shotgun! Yes, because apparently, pellets and gunpowder are the pinnacle of intergalactic security measures.
And let's not forget the logistics here. We're on a space station, people! Do you know how messy it is to clean up after a shotgun blast? It's not like we have space Roombas floating around to suck up the shell casings and alien goo. No, it's the poor janitor, armed with his trusty mop, dealing with the aftermath of space-buckshot mayhem.
"But oranges," you say, "it's just a game, lighten up!" Well, my fellow spacefarers, that's where you're wrong. Games are a reflection of reality – a warped, exaggerated, and sometimes downright nonsensical reflection, but a reflection nonetheless. What kind of message are we sending to future generations when we teach them that shotguns are the epitome of space defense?
So, dear players, the next time you pick up that shotgun in TGStation, just remember: oranges is watching, and he's silently judging your questionable taste in intergalactic weaponry. Let's aim for the stars, not scattergun pellets.