fighting an ocelot

[kinnebian]

simple as
you and a big ocelot, the arena is a gladiator arena
you have a small pocket knife and a bb gun

you have 1 week to prepare beforehand, modern foods and a gym is available to you, as well as a shooting range

do you survive with your ss13 skillz?

[dirk_mcblade]

Use the bb gun as a club

[Jacquerel]

I think I would lose most hypothetical wild animal contests but as ocelots aren't really that big and mostly only pose a danger of death to children I think I could take this one and only get like, non-lethally maimed in the process

[CPTANT]

Does the ocelot also get time to prepare?

[kinnebian]

lets say the ocelot has its own trainer and time to prep

[Jacquerel]

lets say the ocelot has its own trainer and time to prep

well now I am less confident

[Timberpoes]

I save the ocelot.

[conrad]

I save the ocelot.

Nepotism at its finest.

[CPTANT]

I save the ocelot.

What have the ocelots ever done for us?

[Tegun]

I disarm the ocelot and tell it it's pretty good.

[chocolate_bickie]

I disarm the ocelot and tell it it's pretty.

[Jacquerel]

disarming an ocelot is way crueler than killing it i think

[datorangebottle]

I would not fight the ocelot. Timberpoes is a valuable member of the community.

[BONERMASTER]

I would give my pocket knife to the ocelot, and tell it to go for the eyes. Then we fight our way out of the arena, together!

With cooperative regards
-BONERMASTER

[conrad]

I would give my pocket knife to the ocelot, and tell it to go for the eyes. Then we fight our way out of the arena, together!

With cooperative regards
-BONERMASTER

[soreyew]

Roll Animal Handling with intent to kill their previous owners

[Jonathan Gupta]

Just throw rocks at the little shit

[scamoppi]

i spend my preparation time looking for a smoke grenade and a screwdriver. i use the screwdriver to set the smoke grenade to detonate instantly. as soon as the fight starts i detonate it and i am shrouded inside of the cloud of smoke. when the smoke clears i am lying dead on the floor

[scamoppi]

actually i retract my answer this is social engineering theyre gonna steal all our passwords somehow

[Donglesplonge]

i'd cook the ocelot a nice slow cooked pheasant roast with some gravy and mash and then i'd swallow my tongue because if i'm supposed to fight to the death i would think it'd be way funnier if i just died without a fuss

[oranges]

I think I could take an ocelot yeah

[Timonk]

i think i could take on timberpoes in bed

[EmpressMaia]

Jungle station when

[Timberpoes]

i think i could take on timberpoes in bed

L-lewd.

[Timonk]

i think i could take on timberpoes in bed

L-lewd.

bottom behaviour

[Jonathan Gupta]

i think i could take on timberpoes in bed

L-lewd.

can we kill timber? Rip his claws out?

[CPTANT]

i think i could take on timberpoes in bed

L-lewd.

ERP Alert! ERP Alert!

[kinnebian]

please stop derailing this is purely for ocelot survival classes

[Omega_DarkPotato]

these things really aren't that large. I don't think the pocket knife's going to do you that much good (maybe a solid stab) because honestly a kick or solid punch would probably severely injure the fella :(
if anything, you might be able to just forcibly subdue it with a solid grab and forcing it down to the ground

if I really had to, just go to the gym, take all the weights off of one bar, and use that bar as a big fuckoff metal staff (as you can use it similarly to a spear, which we all know is the most robust graytide gamer gear ever made you don't need a stunprod if you're good)

[conrad]

► Show Spoiler

these things really aren't that large. I don't think the pocket knife's going to do you that much good (maybe a solid stab) because honestly a kick or solid punch would probably severely injure the fella
if anything, you might be able to just forcibly subdue it with a solid grab and forcing it down to the ground

if I really had to, just go to the gym, take all the weights off of one bar, and use that bar as a big fuckoff metal staff (as you can use it similarly to a spear, which we all know is the most robust graytide gamer gear ever made you don't need a stunprod if you're good)

Look at that hip sway on the guy on the left tho. Dude has sass for days.

[Chadley]

I could totally beat an adult black bear in a fight.

Timberpoes doesn't stand a chance.

[Cheshify]

If I have access to modern food I will shrimply bring the Ocelot a bunch of food so it will eat it and not me, then I have a new Ocelot friend.

[Timonk]

i will kick the ocelot into orbit

[Timonk]

where i have a nice home for all my ocelot homies

[Redrover1760]

I'd die, as ocelot would shoot me with infinite revolver shots by dumping a full inventory of revolvers on me.

[Jonathan Gupta]

I could wrestle the ocelot to the ground and Subdue it pretty easily never thought about how small the little shits are