Give monkeys sense of self-preservation - Revenge of Pun Pun

Lumbermancer · Mon Dec 14, 2015 11:04 pm

Someone spawned like 10 monkeys, probably from cubes, and since I didn't want to fight blob I decided to butcher them all. As I was skinning my 7th monkey, it struck me how braindead monkeys are. Pete would at least try to hoof me the fuck up, they just stood in spot and took it.

Make them more alive. Make them run away when harmed, maybe even go full chimp-out berserk mode. Real chimpanzee would be able to rip off your arms and beat you to death with them. It wouldn't affect genetics or kitchen, because monkeys would allow you to grab and handle them anyway (but not choke). And I can imagine the possibility of some tator shenanigans, like dumping a locker full of them in brig and coaxing them into attack.

Mon Dec 14, 2015 11:14 pm

one time i spawned about a hundred or so monkeys in xenobiology because the monkey recycler is busted with upgrades

if i could weaponize this it would be hilarious

nah but real talk monkeys aren't that much of a threat, since a normal human punch has like a 1/4 chance of KOing them for an hour

Screemonster · Wed Dec 16, 2015 9:53 pm

Fun fact

Last time I tried it, monkey cubes in the same container as a water grenade (such as a box, locker or crate) are activated and cause the monkeys to spill out of said container.

As soon as I discovered this naturally my first response was to roll cargotech and mail monkeybomb boxes to every destination on the mailing system.

DemonFiren · Post by **DemonFiren** » Wed Dec 16, 2015 10:48 pm #140970

YOU EVIL GENIUS.

Doing this now.

Post by **lumipharon** » Wed Dec 16, 2015 10:53 pm #140973

New traitor item:

Rabid monkey cube.
Exactly the same as a normal cube, but the monkey that comes out runs around biting the shit out of people. Misc diseases optional.

DemonFiren · Post by **DemonFiren** » Wed Dec 16, 2015 11:04 pm #140975

Well, I put a handful of monkey cubes into a box with a mousetrap-triggered grenade containing one small beaker full of water.
Nada, nothing.

It did work when placed into the world, though. I suppose that means lockers and crates will be OK.

ShadowDimentio · Wed Dec 16, 2015 11:23 pm

Goon did this, and now whenever you try to perform the ~secret monkey technique~ the monkey's innate bloodrage awakens and tries to murder you.

And guess what we have that Goon doesn't? Xenobio. Guess what xenobio does all day? Abuse monkeys.

Don't.

Post by **MMMiracles** » Wed Dec 16, 2015 11:28 pm #140980

Make on-station monkeys actually care to an extent about their existence, leave cube-monkeys lobotomized.

Maybe even make a potion/chemical that activates the cube-monkey's higher functions so you can still have monkey shenanigans.

Screemonster · Wed Dec 16, 2015 11:30 pm

DemonFiren wrote:Well, I put a handful of monkey cubes into a box with a mousetrap-triggered grenade containing one small beaker full of water.
Nada, nothing.

It did work when placed into the world, though. I suppose that means lockers and crates will be OK.

Damnit, must have been changed. It was like a year ago when I did it.

LiamLime · Post by **LiamLime** » Wed Dec 16, 2015 11:58 pm #141000

NO NO NO N ON ON O NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!!!!!!!!!!

I still have PTSD from monkeys with metal rods! DO NOT. EVER. BRING. BACK. MONKEY. SELF. PRESERVATION... EVER.

Monkeys used to have self preservation AI. Basically when you hit them, they became aggressive and hit anyone around them. At the time, metal rods were the most robust melee item in the game, so what people would do was to drag a monkey out of med-sci (now genetics), drag it to some public corridor, give it a metal rod, whack it once and run awaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyy. From that point on, that corridor become a death trap as the monkey would attack ever unsuspecting crew member who went by.

Zilenan91 · Post by **Zilenan91** » Thu Dec 17, 2015 12:01 am #141004

How much damage did metal rods do?

LiamLime · Post by **LiamLime** » Thu Dec 17, 2015 12:06 am #141005

I don't remember exact numbers, but if memory serves, it was in the 20-30 damage per hit range. Basically in a hit or two, you'd be on the floor and waiting to die.

The damage various things did used to be much higher though. The e-sword was a 1 hit kill, extinguishers did 20ish damage, etc. So PvP damage was much higher and you could get killed very quickly. I wouldn't say it was better or worse, it was just different. Whether you think it was better or worse is more down to personal preference.

ThanatosRa · Post by **ThanatosRa** » Thu Dec 17, 2015 12:51 am #141012

That just makes me want this More.
EDIT: I kind of vaguely remember this too. It's been a long time.

Lumbermancer · Thu Dec 17, 2015 11:27 am

ShadowDimentio wrote:Guess what xenobio does all day? Abuse monkeys.

Last time I done Xenobo all I needed to do is put monkeys into disposal. Don't see how it will affect it at all.

Lumbermancer · Wed Dec 30, 2015 10:50 am

2016 is the year of the monkey.

1g88a · Post by **1g88a** » Wed Dec 30, 2015 10:57 am #143608

Give pun pun a knife, bait a greyshirt into punching pun pun, assassination goal completed.

Lumbermancer · Wed Jan 06, 2016 3:15 pm

How do I bump threads?

cancer_engine · Wed Jan 06, 2016 4:26 pm

Allow red slimes to produce an aura of beserk rage, like a moth of wrath from DCSS.
>Make a grenade with thr red slime core and apropriate regeant
>Throw at a group of monkies (armed with weapons)
>Get stabbed/blundgeoned to death by the horrifyingly robust simple mob ai
>proceed to watch the entire station collapse to monkies as a ghost

Post by **Cobby** » Sun Jan 24, 2016 6:27 pm #148611

The issue with Xenobio monkeys is nonexistent because of the new consoles.

If you want to try to coax a monkey into it's death by slime then yeah, it should be able to fight back.

Ezel · Post by **Ezel** » Tue Jan 26, 2016 8:20 pm #149214

New traitor objective:Kill pun pun

Davidchan · Post by **Davidchan** » Wed Jan 27, 2016 1:59 am #149331

Goonstation has something like this, monkeys will fight back when pissed off, even going as far to attack you for attacking other monkey mobs in line of sight. The worst part was they'd grab weapons too, so trying to toolbox a monkey to death could result in it grabbing a surgical saw or something and going apeshit on you, no pun intended. Glass shards at least tripped them up, since they don't' have shoes.

Cheimon · Post by **Cheimon** » Wed Jan 27, 2016 2:14 am #149332

That actually sounds pretty good, so long as it's on a person by person basis. Punch a monkey in genetics? Hope you're okay being cloned.

Post by **lumipharon** » Wed Jan 27, 2016 3:32 am #149351

Yes please.

Cuboos · Post by **Cuboos** » Wed Jan 27, 2016 6:38 pm #149459

LiamLime wrote:NO NO NO N ON ON O NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!!!!!!!!!!

I still have PTSD from monkeys with metal rods! DO NOT. EVER. BRING. BACK. MONKEY. SELF. PRESERVATION... EVER.

Monkeys used to have self preservation AI. Basically when you hit them, they became aggressive and hit anyone around them. At the time, metal rods were the most robust melee item in the game, so what people would do was to drag a monkey out of med-sci (now genetics), drag it to some public corridor, give it a metal rod, whack it once and run awaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyy. From that point on, that corridor become a death trap as the monkey would attack ever unsuspecting crew member who went by.

Fuck you, that shit sounds hilarious, merge now.

Lumbermancer · Wed Jan 27, 2016 9:20 pm

Davidchan wrote:Goonstation has something like this, monkeys will fight back when pissed off, even going as far to attack you for attacking other monkey mobs in line of sight. The worst part was they'd grab weapons too, so trying to toolbox a monkey to death could result in it grabbing a surgical saw or something and going apeshit on you, no pun intended. Glass shards at least tripped them up, since they don't' have shoes.

Goonmonkeys when.

iamgoofball · Wed Jan 27, 2016 11:33 pm

i might do this with the Animal Farm PR

Zilenan91 · Post by **Zilenan91** » Wed Jan 27, 2016 11:42 pm #149515

Oh heck yeah, can you make it so that the monkies in containment are carnivores too for reasons?

Davidchan · Post by **Davidchan** » Thu Jan 28, 2016 12:00 am #149519

I can see it now, Assistants make a glass cage every round in the bar, Pete and Pun Pun are locked inside, placing bets on who wins.

Zilenan91 · Post by **Zilenan91** » Thu Jan 28, 2016 12:09 am #149521

Or xenobiologists spamming monkies and dumping 900 of them into the bar

iamgoofball · Thu Jan 28, 2016 12:35 am

Zilenan91 wrote:Oh heck yeah, can you make it so that the monkies in containment are carnivores too for reasons?

due to how farm animal code that I've been working on functions, totally

Davidchan wrote:I can see it now, Assistants make a glass cage every round in the bar, Pete and Pun Pun are locked inside, placing bets on who wins.

already expecting this with chickens but that works too

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Thu Jan 28, 2016 12:40 am #149533

Can we breed loyal attack dogs? And tastier cows with supervaluable beef? Also you should make a thread for it

iamgoofball · Thu Jan 28, 2016 12:47 am

Wyzack wrote:Can we breed loyal attack dogs? And tastier cows with supervaluable beef? Also you should make a thread for it

I'll make a thread when I have a working alpha I can show off, shit's still in dev. I got a PR up but it's missing a lot of stuff.

I have most the framework finish but GITHUB IS DOWN AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

M0nsoon · Post by **M0nsoon** » Thu Jan 28, 2016 1:37 am #149553

iamgoofball wrote:
Wyzack wrote:Can we breed loyal attack dogs? And tastier cows with supervaluable beef? Also you should make a thread for it
I'll make a thread when I have a working alpha I can show off, shit's still in dev. I got a PR up but it's missing a lot of stuff.

I have most the framework finish but GITHUB IS DOWN AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

God speed you glorious bastard

Post by **lumipharon** » Thu Jan 28, 2016 7:47 am #149618

Let monkeys use guns again. Seriously pulling a trigger is not a complex thing to do. If they can do it in planet of the apes, they should be able to do it in ss13.

Lumbermancer · Thu Jan 28, 2016 3:55 pm

lumipharon wrote:Let monkeys use guns again. Seriously pulling a trigger is not a complex thing to do. If they can do it in planet of the apes, they should be able to do it in ss13.

ThanatosRa · Post by **ThanatosRa** » Thu Jan 28, 2016 11:36 pm #149752

iamgoofball wrote:
Zilenan91 wrote:Oh heck yeah, can you make it so that the monkies in containment are carnivores too for reasons?
due to how farm animal code that I've been working on functions, totally
Davidchan wrote:I can see it now, Assistants make a glass cage every round in the bar, Pete and Pun Pun are locked inside, placing bets on who wins.
already expecting this with chickens but that works too

Wait, literal cock fighting? hell yes!

Thu Jan 28, 2016 11:37 pm

Lumbermancer wrote:
lumipharon wrote:Let monkeys use guns again. Seriously pulling a trigger is not a complex thing to do. If they can do it in planet of the apes, they should be able to do it in ss13.

holy fuck lmao
this video alone is reason enough to give monkeys guns imo

Davidchan · Post by **Davidchan** » Sun Jan 31, 2016 3:01 am #150198

lumipharon wrote:Let monkeys use guns again. Seriously pulling a trigger is not a complex thing to do. If they can do it in planet of the apes, they should be able to do it in ss13.

Sadly our monkeys aren't infected with a super virus that makes them extremely intelligent and evolves them to be capable of speech. Now a monkey picking up a gun and using it to bash people with a random chance of it discharging. That'd be funny.

Cheimon · Post by **Cheimon** » Sun Jan 31, 2016 4:31 am #150212

Going by the Planet of the Apes metric, I look forward to seeing monkeys learn to time travel and change the species of significant past politicians.

Ezel · Post by **Ezel** » Sat Feb 13, 2016 12:43 am #153796

Ape poeple when?

Lumbermancer · Sat Feb 13, 2016 1:39 am

They're called people.

The Ultimate Chimera · Sat Feb 13, 2016 5:33 am

Ezel wrote:Ape poeple when?

Never.

Lumbermancer · Thu Feb 18, 2016 8:06 pm

Take a stance now.

Lumbermancer · Sat Sep 17, 2016 11:51 am

Here's your BZ use, it would make monkeys chimp out and go apeshit

FantasticFwoosh · Sat Sep 17, 2016 4:57 pm

Ahem see

Topic: The Legacy Of Harambe and enclosed https://tgstation13.org/phpBB/viewtopic ... 72#p205421

But yeah, go ape. Great Ape even.

ShadowDimentio · Sat Sep 17, 2016 5:04 pm

ShadowDimentio wrote:Goon did this, and now whenever you try to perform the ~secret monkey technique~ the monkey's innate bloodrage awakens and tries to murder you.

And guess what we have that Goon doesn't? Xenobio. Guess what xenobio does all day? Abuse monkeys.

Don't.

Lumbermancer · Sat Sep 17, 2016 5:44 pm

Just sedate monkeys with n2o beforehand you twit.

ShadowDimentio · Sat Sep 17, 2016 6:03 pm

>That much extra work every time someone wants to grab a monkey

Literal retardation

Dagdammit · Post by **Dagdammit** » Sat Sep 17, 2016 9:49 pm #212113

Just have monkeys work like cucoos in Zelda.

Spoiler:

Sun Sep 18, 2016 3:33 am

Dagdammit wrote:Just have monkeys work like cucoos in Zelda.
Spoiler:
+ =

fund it