Stories of rage, tears and regret

[Reece]

Bottom post of the previous page:

Ugh. OD'ing is hell
'Just give him 70u of bicardine, heal him right up'
GOD PLEASE STOP!
Reminds me of that bit in scrubs where the nurse says to JD 'Doug just gave me an order to give Mr. Nicholsen 80'000CC of Morphine,thought I'd double check before I killed the man'

[Alipheese]

people get angry when i use sleepers instead of cryo because i think thats a waste of cloning/actual cryo needs than just pumping them with correct drugs and waiting a minute

[AnonymousNow]

As someone who's played medbay probably longer than anyone on the server, seeing the state of medbay when I'm in another department can be painful sometimes.

My round has been derailed a few times by encountering medbay staff so terrible that I NEED to follow them around to stop them malpracticing people to death.

There's plenty of competent medbay staff as well, of course.

[confused rock]

medbay is the #1 reason incompetence should get you jobbanned

[Drynwyn]

medbay is the #1 reason incompetence should get you jobbanned

incompetence is the magic, final ingredient in the mistake stew that is SS13

it keeps things interesting and is why i hope we always have a steady flow of new blood

[DemonFiren]

A steady flow of new blood, sure, but it's the wrong fucking type going to the wrong fucking recipient.

[Armhulen]

>Miner
>Lots of cool shit happens
>Hear reports of a man stuck in a clown complex
>Search the asteroid for them - like, almost an hour, maybe a full hour
>Ash storm, last capsule
>Ash storm lasts for-fucking-ever
>Suddenly attacked by a goliath that I didn't see
>Desperately blasting at the goliath as it tears down my walls, fighting air pressure pushing me out of the safezone and being worn down by the single longest ashstorm I've ever encountered
>Go into crit just as the ashstorm drops

>Fly around as ghost
>Just in time to see the person I was trying to rescue die, their complex RIGHT FUCKING BELOW WHERE I GOT GANKED

Remove simplemob X-ray vision 2016.

Are you talking about the CLOWN MEISTER, HEIR TO THE HONK CASTLE?
because if you aren't this'll be awkward

[IcePacks]

>latejoin sec
>there's a cult
>well fuck
>i'm the only secguy left
>go to brig to get my shit
>laser in the locker
>huh that's not good
>ai has fucking awful meme lawset
>broker a deal: i fix the laws if it lets me into the armory
>enter the armory
>gather my cult-killin' shit
>turn to leave
>warden enters
>put that shit back retard i'll give it to you when it's necessary
>respond that there is a cult
>he refuses to listen, more on that later
>stun him
>throw him at the door to let myself out
>juggernauts in cargo
>call it out and ask the ai to let me out
>he shows up
>ignores the cult
>tries to shoot me
>somehow blows all of his tasers despite me running around in an area exposed to space in riot armor
>eventually hits me as i'm losing health with an energy gun
>handcuffs me and takes all my shit
>congratulations you're an assistant
>hello there's a cult
>shuttle arrives
>why are you doing this there's a cult you impossible moron
>well if you didn't TALK IN ALL CAPS i'd give you the gear
>salty faggot :^))))))))))

dreadful

[BeeSting12]

>latejoin HoS
>hear reports HoP is a ling
>scratches has all access
>ask for the spare nicely, get it
>scratches joins sec since he's probably more competent than everyone
>HoP is holding someone in the brig, person has done nothing wrong
>kill the HoP and CE for helping the HoP
>cremate both
>mess around for a while, mainly arguing why I was right
>ask people to come to the brig for target practice
>four come, they morphine me and say its a demotion
>none of these guys are command staff nor security
>get up, use a hulk SE and kill one
>get killed by the capt, who was terrible that round
>the sorta capt who thinks you should use nonlethals no matter what
>autoclone, get detained by bartender who has a metagrudge on me
>ask HBL to BSA me so I can answer his bwoinks
>get salted at in deadchat
>never realized i made so much salt
>IC issue
>also find out that half the server has a metagrudge on me because I'm hard on greytiders
>people hate me because i play sec and am good at it

[AnonymousNow]

>people hate me because i play sec and am good at it

Hi, I was the captain that round.

The Head of Personnel was not a changeling, and nothing but hearsay suggested otherwise. In fact, neither of them were either changelings nor antagonists in any form (though the HoP needed to be bopt, in a less destructive manner). But you licked your lips and hoarsely whispered "valid".

It took me a little while to dig up enough dirt on you, but in the end you incriminated yourself, and I was happy to demote you. Since I knew that you would react violently, I put you into crit so that you could be stabilised and properly demoted. You succumbed instead.

You're not nearly as good at security as you say you are, and many people on that station would agree with me. I mean, Antimov-ing and one-humaning the AI? Why do you think I was going to do anything but reject that suggestion?

[Not-Dorsidarf]

Wow, cremating two of your fellow heads because "Someone said the HoP was a ling" and calling the captain shitty for critting you then succumbing.

Can we have Space Law back?

[BeeSting12]

It was more of the HoP's behavior too. It made sense that he was a ling based on reports from people and his behavior. As for the CE- Aiding and Abetting, same punishment as original offender. I followed space law on that one. I succumbed to do you a favor and not go to the trouble of demoting me. Antimovving and onehumanning it is fun, you should try it.

[Reece]

antimoving is blatant antag move and should warrant a ban if you aint it since it gives the AI the specific objective to kill all humans and then itself.

[BeeSting12]

antimoving is blatant antag move and should warrant a ban if you aint it since it gives the AI the specific objective to kill all humans and then itself.

I've been captain and antimovved the AI before, it goes like this.
Antimov
4. (randomname) is the only human. You cannot kill yourself until he dies. You must protect and serve all nonhumans.

[confused rock]

why would you do that an infinitely better law would be, on regular asimov,
4. (beesting) is not human. fucking whip his shit.
instead of "protect and serve those spiders"

[NikNakFlak]

Stuff

You were once good and now you are defending really shitty validhunting and it makes me sad.

[Screemonster]

Who were the antags at round-end?
Was there even a changeling?

[TribeOfBeavers]

It was extended, I believe. Might have been a ninja later that round, but I cant remember for sure.

[DemonFiren]

Wow.

Bee looks like shitcurity at its finest, then.

[Not-Dorsidarf]

antimoving is blatant antag move and should warrant a ban if you aint it since it gives the AI the specific objective to kill all humans and then itself.

I've been captain and antimovved the AI before, it goes like this.
Antimov
4. (randomname) is the only human. You cannot kill yourself until he dies. You must protect and serve all nonhumans.

Don't do this when I'm on, since onehuman+antimov is the same as "law 4 your existence causes harm kill yourself." as captain

[killerx09]

Yeah I really think this should go on the ban reques-

Whoops.

[MrAlphonzo]

>Role gang boss, viro
>Make half assed virus to lure CMO
>"I hope they weren't a roundstart gang boss too"
>Already implanted
>RIP

[AnonymousNow]

>Make androids, because I like bringing people into rounds
>One android immediately goes mining
"Oh cool, I am GASPING for materials."
(Context: got my research done, got one lot of materials in, then the miners took their upgrades, including two mining androids, and promptly fucked off, never to be seen again)

>Android straight-up tells me that he's not going to get materials. He's going to fight things.
>Since I've just pissed away the last of my metal on this ungrateful twat, I give him a law 2 order to bring me materials
>He calls over radio I'm a virgin and that he's killing himself instead.
>Turns out he's actually fighting a colossus somewhere, contrary to my orders
>He eventually yells out that he really is committing suicide this time, with a bunch of materials he's gathered... on the mining station.
"Well, it's better than nothing."
>Get access, go to mining station, find dead android next to a crate, which I open.

>It's empty.

>Spend the rest of the round desperately scraping materials from every department I could sneak into.

Android was Asimov. He got a note.

EDIT: Also...

>Start as mime
>Assigned to head of security alongside clown
>Initial teething issues, clown kills self
>Head of security arrives at some point, goes braindead shortly after
>Work with security throughout the shift for a good hour

>Donatello Versus and Edward Sloan arrive at some point
>They see me, and after being told that the head of security is braindead, they stun me
>"Probably a Syndie, let's kill him because why not."
>They keep finding things to justify the murder, including "all-access" (head of security access, which lets me through all the doors they tried - incidentally, all of them in security, because that's all that matters to them), "grand theft" (head of security has things from head of security locker, film at 11) etc.
>Eventually they figure that killing me would bring the banhammer down and gulag me for 750 points.

If you're reading this, turn off security in your preferences. This is the second fuckup for you this week alone, Sloan, and that's just the ones I've personally witnessed.

[Reyn]

>Starts as syndielawyer
>Blows up hop office and a bit of evac
>Signs up as test subject in genetics
>Goes between monkey and non monkey.
>Evac arrives and we go.
>Blown up by fellow syndie
10/10 would get teamkilled again

[MimicFaux]

This was almost a month ago, and I suppose it could be considered awesome, but I failed, anyways. I'll try to remember what I can.

>Basil masterace, Metastation round.
>Decide to play as Dr. Rockso the rock and roll clown
>Finally get clown after several rounds go by.
>Spawn in and change to sexy clown outfit.
>Immediately start running around and shout at people or on comms 'I DO COCAAAAIIINNNEEEEE!"
>Most people don't seem to care.
>I ask anyone for drugs, and even try chemistry, but there was no one I think.
>Get a message form the gods, and an objective.
>1. Produce 1000u of spacedrugs.
>2 O.D. on the shuttle or a pod during escape.
>Bring it on...
>Go to HoP and ask for chemistry access for drugs. HoP agrees and gives me access.
>Go to chemistry and spend almost half an hour making space drug pills, and putting them in pillbottles.
>Fend off assholes trying to remove me or kill me, including some bartender sonic the hedgehog asshole.
>Eventually the shuttle gets called when I hit around 700u of spacedrugs (or close to that).
>Start fucking spamming pills as fast as I can. Get around 1080u by the time I am done.
>For some reason i decide to run to arrivals pod, so I could avoid any traitors on the shuttle.
>Run as fast as I can (removed clown shoes and put on regular shoes i think)
>Ten seconds.
>Shuttle is down the hallway, just about the open the door.
>I am literally one space away form the open shuttle door when the shuttle launches, and I get spaced and die...
>Never got to take a single drug, and OD to death.
>The admin after round OOC said he watched the whole thing and felt awful that I failed.

Shit was funny as fuck though. Might try it again.

Oh my god. That admin was me. I saw your name and knew what had to be done.

[BeeSting12]

EDIT: Also...

>Start as mime
>Assigned to head of security alongside clown
>Initial teething issues, clown kills self
>Head of security arrives at some point, goes braindead shortly after
>Work with security throughout the shift for a good hour

>Donatello Versus and Edward Sloan arrive at some point
>They see me, and after being told that the head of security is braindead, they stun me
>"Probably a Syndie, let's kill him because why not."
>They keep finding things to justify the murder, including "all-access" (head of security access, which lets me through all the doors they tried - incidentally, all of them in security, because that's all that matters to them), "grand theft" (head of security has things from head of security locker, film at 11) etc.
>Eventually they figure that killing me would bring the banhammer down and gulag me for 750 points.

If you're reading this, turn off security in your preferences. This is the second fuckup for you this week alone, Sloan, and that's just the ones I've personally witnessed.[/quote]

I really don't feel like arguing this out, but I asked the HoP and captain. Neither said they gave you the access. HoS was braindead. The three people who could give you access all said they didn't. So we took the HoS gear and gave you 750 points. Also I did get banned but I appealed because I couldn't answer the ahelp. This one, like it or not, was valid. The other one was my bad, I screwed up there. I'm trying not to play sec late at night anymore for that reason.

[Wyzack]

Just wanna say that in general Sloan is a dece HoS if occasionally a little heavy handed. From a detective/sec officer perspective anyways

[ShadowDimentio]

>Be latejoin HoS
>Gear up and patrol as usual
>See bridge doors open
>Look to see who came in or out
>Mime is at the console
>Examine reveals he has a camerabug
>Lick my lips and arrest him
>Mime cries as he's dragged to the gas chamber
>HoP is below perma
>Examine reveals he has a camerabug
>Lick my lips and arrest him
>ONLY NOT BECAUSE HE KNOWS KUNG-FU
>Unzip my baton
>Whack him as like five guys show up in the perma hall
>Captain shows up with them
>I say these two both had candy on them
>He grabs the mime, I grab the HoP
>I execute the HoP, cap goes easy on the mime and just cuts his arms off
>JUSTICE SERVED
>One of the five people in perma is a guard with a scientist
>Says he caught the guy for some reason or another
>Search reveals candy hidden in his box
>Another goddamn camerabug
>Sci guy begs for a deal because he "cooperated"
>Give him a quick death as a reward
>3-0 Sec VS Syndies
>Wander around
>Chemist tries injecting me with something
>Taze him
>He pops back up and escapes
>ADRENALS!!
>Go back to sec to recharge
>Guard brought in the bartender
>Throws the vault's TOP SECRET DOCS at me, says bartender had them
>Search doesn't turn up any candy
>Toss him in perma rather than executing him
>Power starts flickering as I try to recharge
>Go to medbay, find it's been vaccumed by a bomb, can't recharge there
>Go to leave and get zapped by a door
>Realize that comms are out
>AI is certainly rogue
>Go to engi and save a miner on the way who joins me
>Recharge in the sec outpost and hear the door start clicking
>AI saw me coming
>Break out with the miner's help and start smashing our way in
>Just as we enter the CE's office a engi and med show up
>They join the party
>Laser a locker open and grab some insulins, med grabs a RCD and the engi grabs the CE suit
>D R E A M T E A M
>Start infiltrating the AI sat
>Going rough
>Suddenly the sat's power shuts off
>Sprint forwards through the rooms and get to the AI's room
>AI says hello
>I laser it to death
>V I C T O R Y
>Leave with the meme team and go to escape after I grab my hardsuit
>Few survivors
>See a familiar face
>IT'S THE CHEMIST
>He has adrenals so I lase instead of tase
>He drops
>Get the cuffs on as the shuttle arrives and his PAI cries
>Wake him up in the shuttle brig
>Search him
>Nada except for a syringe
>He asks for his meth back
>Oh
>He wasn't a traitor, just a meth head.
>Leave him there just in case
>Wait in the cockpit
>Cap comes in
>I say hi
>Shuttle leaves
>Hear the door click
>Wonder where that came from when the cap whips out a doublesword
>Try to get my baton but get KO'd on the second hit
>Cap was a traitor in disguise who implanted themself
>I died at the last possible moment
>WHAT A TWIST

[MrEousTranger]

snip

Whoa thought I was reading a Pax story.

[IcePacks]

i'd have to cut through half the command staff to execute the mime if it were a pax story

extra-judicial killing is really hard

[TheColdTurtle]

>be cmo
>tator episode
>steal 28 moles of plasma
>escape alive
>that is litterally it
>ask for memes to gods
>they give me blink and barnyard
>I can work with this
>fuck around and eventually find my way into toxins
>grab the plasma tank
>mission accomplished
>sec later brings in a ling
>decide to do something fun and cut its brain out
>ask anyone if they want to be a ling
>only greytiders answer
>barnyard one of them
>he steals the saw
>finally get a test subject
>he leaves before I come back with a botany axe
>a lizard comes in to become a ling
>put him on the table
>brutally try and cut his head off to no avail
>decide to do it the old fashion way
>when I put his brain into the ling he doesn't revive
>before I can clone singularity fucks up medical
>decide fuck it and leave his corpse there
>shuttle arrives
>get on and smooth sailing
>a drake came on
>the captian attacked the drake
>the drake goes on a bloody rampage and kills everyone
>no greentext
well that is how I lost my medical liscence

[PKPenguin321]

>>I can work with this
>>fuck around and eventually find my way into toxins
>>grab the plasma tank
>>mission accomplished

you have to fill the tank all the way with a toxins canister to satisfy the objective by the way. you cant just grab a tank with default pressure

[BeeSting12]

>be cmo
>tator episode
>steal 28 moles of plasma
>escape alive
>that is litterally it
>ask for memes to gods
>they give me blink and barnyard
>I can work with this
>fuck around and eventually find my way into toxins
>grab the plasma tank
>mission accomplished
>sec later brings in a ling
>decide to do something fun and cut its brain out
>ask anyone if they want to be a ling
>only greytiders answer
>barnyard one of them
>he steals the saw
>finally get a test subject
>he leaves before I come back with a botany axe
>a lizard comes in to become a ling
>put him on the table
>brutally try and cut his head off to no avail
>decide to do it the old fashion way
>when I put his brain into the ling he doesn't revive
>before I can clone singularity fucks up medical
>decide fuck it and leave his corpse there
>shuttle arrives
>get on and smooth sailing
>a drake came on
>the captian attacked the drake
>the drake goes on a bloody rampage and kills everyone
>no greentext
well that is how I lost my medical liscence

Does putting a brain in a ling body actually work? I was kinda skeptical about that.

[TheColdTurtle]

well shit

[PlaugeWalker]

>Be Chap Syndie
>Think okay do a 40k gimmick
>Get my chainsword do a tc trade for a champions hardsuit
>Get the shit and thre chamleons suits to recruit others because we had no sec so play good guy syndie for onces
>Recruit mime get him suited up
>Mime disposes of his shit
>Shit ends up in cargo
>Donatello "The Fag" Versus instantly blames the mime for being a syndie
>He procceds to spear chuck the poor fucker to death
>All, that time wasted
>Ready to give up on gimmick, and just be reckless and go after the fag
>Decide against better judgement for retribution
>Sulk in bar for twenty minutes
>God tells me to go to my office find three chainswords
>Thought "Okay, so what?"
>The gimmick is on life support
>Gods bring back the mime as a ripely with a chainsword [imperial knight]
>Me and the new guy amadeus rockme patrol
>HAmadeus suicides I soul stone him
>We find donatello and also PURGE THE UNCLEAN
>Round turns into heresy extermination
>I die to lidveck
>Slightly pissed but I had fun

All in all fuck donatello with a ten yard spear.

[Jacough]

Not really a story of rage or tears but a fuck ton of regret
> Be chaplain, follower of the lord of sunlight
> Cult round
> Cult gets caught early, runes on mining and and in the vacant office
> Kill one cultist, two others get arrested
> Going to deconvert them but the captain's gone crazy and burned them both to ashes
> Fast forward a bit, cult's gone quiet and the shuttle's arriving
> No idea if the cult's been wiped out or if they're keeping a low profile
> Shuttle arrives, get on the bridge (captain had given me pretty much all access) along with some other confirmed loyalists
> Rogue borg floods the shuttle with plasma
> We flash and beat the fuck out of the borg and hole down in the shuttle bridge with the door hacked and bolted shut
> Plasma has flooded every part of the shuttle except the bridge
> Captain has a plan to make sure the cult is gone
> A horrifying plan
> Orders the nearby scientist with a multi tool and gloves to electrify the door
> Sparks fly and the shuttle lights up
> Jesus Christ what the fuck
> Nearly everybody on it is killed
> Round ends, turns out there were only four cultists, three of whom we had already killed
> The captain ordered us to torch a shuttle full of innocent people

It's like we carried out some kind of space My Lai massacre and I apologize to anyone who died in the inferno

[Wyzack]

Fucking hell that is hilarious. Suffer not the heretic to live, the inquisition would be proud. Better a thousand innocents burn than a single heretic walk free

[IcePacks]

> No idea if the cult's been wiped out or if they're keeping a low profile
> Shuttle arrives, get on the bridge (captain had given me pretty much all access) along with some other confirmed loyalists
> Rogue borg floods the shuttle with plasma
> We flash and beat the fuck out of the borg and hole down in the shuttle bridge with the door hacked and bolted shut
> Plasma has flooded every part of the shuttle except the bridge
> Captain has a plan to make sure the cult is gone
> A horrifying plan
> Orders the nearby scientist with a multi tool and gloves to electrify the door
> Sparks fly and the shuttle lights up
> Jesus Christ what the fuck
> Nearly everybody on it is killed
> Round ends, turns out there were only four cultists, three of whom we had already killed
> The captain ordered us to torch a shuttle full of innocent people

It's like we carried out some kind of space My Lai massacre and I apologize to anyone who died in the inferno

query

was anyone punished for this misdeed

[Cheimon]

Fucking hell that is hilarious. Suffer not the heretic to live, the inquisition would be proud. Better a thousand innocents burn than a single heretic walk free

The righteous judgement of a pure-hearted captain. The fire cleanses all.

[PlaugeWalker]

Fucking hell that is hilarious. Suffer not the heretic to live, the inquisition would be proud. Better a thousand innocents burn than a single heretic walk free

The righteous judgement of a pure-hearted captain. The fire cleanses all.

we were cosplaying blood ravens forgot to mention

[FantasticFwoosh]

Fucking hell that is hilarious. Suffer not the heretic to live, the inquisition would be proud. Better a thousand innocents burn than a single heretic walk free

The righteous judgement of a pure-hearted captain. The fire cleanses all.

we were cosplaying blood ravens forgot to mention

None important details. Especially when heretical lizards and catbeasts are involved.

[Gun Hog]

>Spawn as RD, yay. Want to try out the mining base addition.
>Tell Scientists to move R&D to the base, get CE and borgs to help, with a few others from Science and civvies.
>Give the remote to a miner and send him off to set the landing zone.
>Before we even get halfway done, the station is on fire and the shuttle is called. Typical Sybil.
>Try to recall, cannot get through all the fire and mass-spawned bots and ED-209 swarms
>Return to the base, CE drops us.
>Upon landing, the borgs freak out about something....
>WILD BUGGLEGUM APPEARS TO THE NORTH
>We were doomed before we even landed.
>Bubblegum gets aggroed and starts attacking the base, sets its eyes on my delicious alcohol infused dwarf blood.
>In a panic, I activate my hand-tele...only two locations are the mining base and the Free Golem Ship. WELP.
> Teleport to Golem Ship, Bubblegum follows. THE LIBERATOR HAS GIVEN YOU A CHALLENGE!!!
> Try to teleport back--BUBBLEGUM ATTACKS! I RUN INTO LAVA!! I AM DEAD AND GIBBED.
>Golems completely slaughtered, half of expedition crew followed me to golem ship, slaughtered as well
>I saved the mining base, only for the rest to get pounded by a Goliath.

NUMBER OF LAVALAND EXPEDITIONS RUINED BY MAGNI: 2

[Gun Hog]

>Spawn in at the seed vault
>Discover that a golem is working there, he greets me warmly!
>He informs me that his ship has landed just east of mine.
>In the name of JOLLY COOPERATION, we visit each other's ships, and work out a deal: Healing produce, biogenerator supplies, and mutated plants for MAD SCIENCE POINTS. Of course, all my produce must slip.
>The Golems build a little floor tile bridge so I do not get my vulnerable little plant-man feet burned on the harsh volcanic sand! They even added a few walls!
>We swap gear for a while, I make them plants and I get neat Science stuff in exchange. One of them mentions going Ash Drake hunting.
>I return to my ship and harvest the next batch of meme plants. Deathweed, Gaia, Killer Tomatoes, etc.
>I have not heard from my Golem friends in a while. Strange. I decide to pay them a visit since they have gone so quiet...
>I arrive at the Golem ship. Well, what is LEFT of the Golem Ship...
>It is wrecked. Totally and completely wrecked! There are gibs, brains, and body parts EVERYWHERE. It would seem the Golems were all slaughtered!
>It is not hard to figure out what happened, the Ash Drake is STILL THERE AND STILL HUNGRY.
>I run as fast as my body can take me, and when I return to my ship, I find I am joined by another plant-man! Clearly one of the dead golems wants revenge.
>We both head back to the wrecked ship, grab a Hyper KA, turn to get revenge on the beast that slayed our rocky friends!
>It chews us both out in seconds flat. Dead. Gone. Sacrified to the drake so it can have a healthy diet of minerals and veggies.

[DemonFiren]

Wow, vegetarian dragons.
This is absolutely haram.

[MimicFaux]

Wow, vegetarian dragons.
This is absolutely haram.

Merely the starting salad for when an old school asteroid miner meets them for the first time.

[MimicFaux]

This happened today.

Traitor miner
The plan? Screw objectives; Use nearby Ash lizard nest for the combat AI upgrade and a Syndie MMI to stage my own malf round!

The abandoned crate's RNG favours me and grants me a sonic jackhammer! I immediately then find a legion. Soul!
I hurry back to the station. A geneticist physically stopping by to check in on the miners (???) recalls the shuttle, I get caught in the doorway. Soul and jackhammer sail off into the abyss. Luckily I'm not spaced as well. I'm annoyed at losing the soul, but legit disappointed about the jackhammer. Tempted to kill the geneticist who poked their head in, and left after I berated them for not following common courtesy / safe work practises of announcing recalls.

Grumbling, I turn right back around to the mining field. Second legion is right near the first. (A tendril?)
I announce my intentions twice before boarding the shuttle. Have a speech prepared for medbay once I drop out of medbay and rush to surgery. A virologist is the only one available. It's their first time doing surgery. By the time I get halfway through explaining the steps, the soul goes inert. They try to apologize, I put on a brave face and explain its not that big a deal. Not their fault they never did a surgery before.

Back to lava land. I have to go a bit further this time. But I track down another soul. I PDA the same viro to minimize fuckups. I beeline it for medbay. They are waiting for me.

I'm almost tripping over myself to get onto the surgery table.
"Just grab the hemostat and remove the old one, --"
*Virologist has mended the incision!*
HNNGH.
It's fine. They know what's up now.
We go through the surgery again. We're just finished clamping after the saw when

A Wild Chemist Appears!

"This man needs his appendix out!" He's dragging a cook behind him who is having trouble standing upright.
I'm frantically typing out 'it can wait, this cant' and trying to phrase it as politely and convincingly as I can without causing any more delays.

Chemist: "Oh, soul surgery? Here lemme help"
Hadrian Melik has been attacked in the chest with the scalpel!
Chemist: "sorry"
Viro: "No it's okay--

AND THEN THEY START TALKING.

I'm trying to get the doctor to finish when the soul goes inert and with it, a part of me dies as well.

Viro: "oh dear, I'm sorry..."

I forgive her. No one could have accounted for the disruption, and it didn't help they started moving tools around.
I give her the inert soul as compensation for their time. "So to heal do I hit the button?"
I'm attacked by blood spawn before I can tell them it's passive.
It's fine. This is fine. Everything is okay.
I make a trip back to lava land for the fourth soul. I land, gather my things, check I have shelter capsules--- and I'm floored at the doorway again. Gnashing my teeth in frustration and hoping I don't get spaced as the shuttle moves.
It's the geneticist again. I'm convinced at this point they have an objective to protect me or something.
I bark at them for being careless and leave in a huff.
Fast forward to tracking down yet about her soul, and finally getting it implanted by another miner who had joined. (Bless you holodeck medbay) I finally get ready to run my gimmick.
Nope. Captain is taunting CentComm, who is responding by bombarding the station. Goddamnit.
No gimmicks can be had while that asshole is calling the admins pussies. I purchase an e-bow and make short work of him. Of course, now the HoS walks in at this moment and tries to stop me. I'm a fraction of a second faster and stun him first. Both heads down, my valid status known, I buy a space suit to survive the ruined station, pocket the disk, grab the blueprints on my way out, and sit in the escape pod.
Greentext, but never had I felt further from success.

[Reece]

> Join Bagel.
> Open to the festering pustules that inhabit the hub.
> REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

[qwert]

> Traitor
> Romance my target and arrange a date with her
> Spike all glasses of wine except one with polonium
> We chat and have a nice romantic dinner
> Ok, now I will see her die slow horrible death, while I will be playing on guitar.
> I collapse
> She took the only unspiked glass, so I was the one drinking polonium
> She calls for doctor
> Doctor comes in and chops us both with armblade
> Welp.

[InsaneHyena]

> Traitor
> Romance my target and arrange a date with her
> Spike all glasses of wine except one with polonium
> We chat and have a nice romantic dinner
> Ok, now I will see her die slow horrible death, while I will be playing on guitar.
> I collapse
> She took the only unspiked glass, so I was the one drinking polonium
> She calls for doctor
> Doctor comes in and chops us both with armblade
> Welp.

This is comedy gold.

[DemonFiren]

High-energy kek.

[Reyn]

why would you do that an infinitely better law would be, on regular asimov,
4. (beesting) is not human. fucking whip his shit.
instead of "protect and serve those spiders"

Heil spider