Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Nilons · Post by **Nilons** » Fri Sep 29, 2017 10:50 am #341984

Bottom post of the previous page:

Ostrava of the Federation and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day:

>Start shift to find I rolled wizard, Ostrava of the Federation lives
>take phylactery, jaunt, armour, staff of animation and flesh to stone because I wanna try out the flesh to stone animation combo as it doesnt remove people from the round for the most part and seems like fun
>land in xenobio and catch the guy at the console before he even moves, get another scientist coming to investigate shortly after and animate both, things are looking good.
>leave my phylactery in containment because its out of the way and I can jaunt out if I respawn
>head down to robotics and bludgeon a guy to death while flesh to stone is on cooldown, 4 statues running around at this time causing havoc that I can hear over the radio
>Chaplain runs in with holy water fire extinguisher and gets a weaken, cant jaunt out because of holy water extinguisher blcoking the tiles
>wait for my phylactery to work and get worried because people in dchat are saying there should be a revive button and that its really buggy
>chaplain loots my body and keeps most of the stuff, cremates the corpse
>spawn on my phylactery a human, with no magic powers to speak of
>ahelp both admins online and get responses essentially saying that its a bug and im pretty much fucked for the round
>after a while of sitting there original statue come back and lets me out in exchange for my hat when I tell him I lost my powers
>go collect a uniform and integrate into crew, no one gives me any real hassle and the CE said he'd talk to the HoP about getting me an ID
>clown slips the chaplain to give me the opportunity to steal my armour back
>decide not to because without powers Im seriously ill equipped to start fights and if he doesn't wanna give it back itll just be more headache
>later on ask the chaplain for it back, he agrees and takes me to the chapel so he can grab his armour
>tells me I can have the spellbook back too, the book doesn't recognize me of course,
>chaplain valids the fuck out of me while i'm typing about the spellbook because he can
>apparently someone was spreading romerol around or something else that results in zombies, saw lings talking to each other while I was a ghost so I have no fucking clue what this round was
>wake up a zombie and plan on beating the chaplain to death
>can't break chapel doors with zombie hands so I go out the window, misstep because of lag and go floating into the void
>spend 10 minutes floating through space and spend some time typing this up
>eventually hit a ruin and 180 to try and get back to the station
>10 MORE minutes later get back to the station
>wander around and see the station is powerfully fucked
>slap a few people who run past to give them zombie infection but otherwise leave them be
>start talking to a few crewman about how I became an ex-wizard zombie
>gygax runs up and kills me
>the pilot gets out and it's none other than the bro from xenobio who let me out
>turns out he killed me so he could clone me and that would cure the zombification
>other crewmembers try to convince him not to clone me because I'm an ex-wizard
>he tells them that I'm basically harmless and they allow me to be cloned
>Meandre about for a while, doing nothing
>see the hop in his office, finally get my ID
>go to see if I can get my spellbook back from the chaplains office for sentimental value
>hes been missing since he valid'd me so no one stops me
>some random engi lets me in
>grab my shit and decide to do some antagonistic shit since I might as well do SOMETHING of note this round
>go through maint up into engineering and collect a full setup of engi gear
>the AI is subverted so everyone's concerned with that while I go fuck with the SM
>regret not bothering to learn the SM because I can't sabotage it
>settle for venting the room and depowering the station via wire cutting and smes destroying
>throw some shit into the sm for good measure and manage to soft crit myself from the radiation
>prefuckery epinepherine keeps me alive
>drag myself through space and various hull breaches to get to the plasmafire hellscape that is now the station proper all the way from the SM on delta to the medbay
>get caught by a zombie and killed as I get there
>resurrect as zombie just in time for my killer to be fighting the chaplain, rush him but he's been hiding in space all round and has phat loot plus laser weapons
>think its over because I'm just dead and the chaplain took my head off
>suddenly I'm alive in the morgue, on my original respawn with the phylactery
>scramble to pull internals off another body in the morgue
>a plasmafire is sparking up from an open canister nearby and is spreading towards the morgue
>try to hide inside a tray to see if it will protect me
>doesn't work, heats getting through
>chance it and inject epinephrine before running through the fire to safety
>stop drop and roll almost enough to put out the fire but die anyways
>Just as the shuttle leaves I'm spawned from my phylactery again
>get up in time to epinephrine myself once more and loot a miner for his internals and capsule
>use capsule in medbay lobby and achieve assassination objective and stay alive objective.

And that's how my phylactery stole all my wizard powers and subsequently made me such a non threat no one bothered to destroy it

Hathkar · Post by **Hathkar** » Fri Sep 29, 2017 6:18 pm #342068

Nilons wrote:-snip-

Just to clarify, once you died, traitorling got rolled on random people. I was one of the traitor lings. I assumed the chaplain's identity, and bought some romeral and started spreading it. One of my objectives was to hijack the shuttle. So I lured you to an isolated spot to take you out. Oh, and I also subverted the AI so only the lings were human.

Reyn · Post by **Reyn** » Sun Oct 01, 2017 7:04 pm #342655

>Be ai
>Captain is racist twat who actually uses the term "Niggers"
>Alright then, this is going to be fun
>Ahelp it.
>Sadly, for both of us, it's an IC issue
>Captain does some shit
>Goes to change my laws
>Clown steals his Id
>I let him in my satelite
>He admits to wanting to law me into "Killing all niggers"
>I'm not having that shit
>Let him further in
>Into the main room
>Bolt all the doors
>Turn on turrets on stun
>Leave him there
>He ahelps like nuts.
>Then ragequits.
>I just sit there grinning the whole time as the admins play 1812 overture as the cuck of a captain gets tazed.
>I think I did something beautiful

DemonFiren · Post by **DemonFiren** » Sun Oct 01, 2017 7:50 pm #342675

>gets offended by "niggers"
Nigger what.

Post by **Dunham** » Sun Oct 01, 2017 9:02 pm #342696

The Story of Judas Lionhart; Holy hand of Leviathan

( Before I begin, I want to thank this Magnificent crew that made this shift possible. It was honestly one of my favorite SS13 Experiences)

Judas wasn't an ordinary chaplain; he was the right hand of the Scaly God of the Seas, Leviathan. With this endowed to him, Judas took his time blessing a lot of the water on the station and smacking people with his healing tome of Leviathan.

It was an ordinary shift until Judas Lionhart changed his Null rod to a Possessed Blade and began to work...

He made his way to Med bay to bless it in the name of his God when a chemist lured him to the chem table.
"I got some really good potent shit for you, It'll make you see your god alright.." The Chemist whispered
He swung his beaker back and forth making a strange brew for Judas to consume. For a while, Judas blessed
the Med bay with his water and soft tome smacks on the doors. The Chemist beckoned Judas once more.
"Here... Take this"

Judas, ignorant of actual medicine and drugs agreed and injected the brew. It took a while for it to take effect,
but Judas began seeing his visions, and then leading the crew to worship his Mighty God! Judas ran around the
Station, hearing explosions, Seeing Leviathan himself as a large orb swallowing the crew, being caught on fire
that was never there. His ramblings took him to call the A.I a heretic, for it was powerful in controlling the
Station, but it did not control the actions of Judas and his crew. He blessed the Janitor and ran to the bar
and made the Bartender drink his holy water. To Judas' surprise, the Bartender dropped dead. Truly he was
a heretic to Leviathan and couldn't take on the power himself. The time grew tiring and Judas as well, saddened
that his God only communicated in explosions and a large Orb eating everything.

However.. Judas looked at the Possessed blade in hand. It was time to resurrect the blade
and find out the true intentions of Leviathan himself.

He ran to his chapel room and began to chant. The Possessed blade quivered in his hand, but it failed to speak.
Saddened, Judas tried again, after seeing the large orb of Leviathan swallow Med bay and seeing Him slaughter many
in His wake. The Blade quivered, but it did not speak.. Finally, Judas sprayed the blade with the Blessed waters of
Leviathan and tried once more. The Blade quivered violently and then ceased. It then spoke..

"There are many Heretics on this station... Find them.. and Bring honor to my name!"

It was the first time in Judas' life that he heard his God actually speak to him. He was speechless.
"I will bring Honor to you, Leviathan!" He cried. Judas dubbed the blade the "Tongue of Leviathan"
and began to show the crew how Leviathan spoke to him. By then, the station was in Chaos. The AI
was supposed to be a rogue (Foul HERETIC!), A virus lurked on station making people rush to Medbay,
and the Clown was dicking around as usual. Judas healed many by smacking them with his holy tome
constantly to fully heal them. It was then Judas began to return to his Chapel when a Grey Tide viciously
beat down a poor soul in Evac.

"A HERETIC!" Judas cried as his Possessed sword sliced into the Grey Tide's flesh and rendered it into
a pile of gibs and blood. The Tongue of Leviathan had been newly accustomed to the blood of Heresy
and it was Satisfied. With a final smack of his Tome on the rotting flesh pile, Judas took off to his chapel.
Evac shuttle had been called, and people were flooding Evac. It was then someone on the Comms spoke.

"Hey all, There's Pizza in the Chapel, Come eat your fill!"

Judas was outraged.
"How Dare they fill my Chapel with the Flesh of ZA?!" he screamed as he ran to his altar and saw Assistants opening
boxes of the Heretic pie. It's circular shape, its thick grease leaking onto the Altar that Judas blessed many times that
day, every detail of the disgusting offer made Judas' blood boil. He slammed the "Tongue of Leviathan" down on the
altar with such anger that the Circular heretic flesh of Za Cut into triangular slices. Judas took a breath and looked down
at the triangular slices, looking like Teeth of his Beloved God.
"YES!" Judas replied "Eat of this new sacrifice and see the Glory of Leviathan"
The assistants stared, stupefied and grateful of the mad Chaplain's ramblings and began to eat. He took no bite of the newly
graced food, since Judas only hungered to cure the Heretic problem of the station.

Grabbing his tome, he rushed outside the Chapel, ready to beat Heretics with it's power when he saw a magnificent sight.
It was a large purple Space carp, and it was swimming around Evac. However it wasn't any ordinary space carp. It was a
sentient Space Carp.

"IT'S HIM! LEVIATHAN HAS GRACED US WITH HIS PRESENCE!" Judas cried and ran towards the Space carp. The carp looked at
him with dull eyes, but to Judas, it looked of pure gold.
"oh ey there bud" The Carp spoke. It was talking to an assistant near Evac, it's thick voice gracing the ears of Judas with each
word. The Assistant was injured, and did not want to live on. He asked the space carp to kill him so then he could be free.
"well sure bud. hope you got worms" Judas was Mystified, his ultimate sacrifice laid before him. He stuck the assistant with his sword
alongside the Space carp until it became a feast and proper sacrifice for the magnificent fish.

Judas was overwhelmed with happiness as Evac shuttle docked the station. As he followed his God into the shuttle, he began to shout and leap,
showing off that his God was Real. While many of the crew ignored his ramblings, many were staring at the Space carp with jealous eyes, including
a Plasteel Golem who was freshly made. It wandered over to the Space carp and began taunting the carp with words only Judas saw as pure, unadulterated,
Heresy.
"The Leviathan is my dick" the Golem chirped, taking it's slow hands and smacking Judas' God right in the face. Judas threw himself at the Golem, smacking it
with his sword with all of his might. As the Golem fought back, "Leviathan" began chomping on the golem. Security, seeing this outburst, tazed the golem into
submission. Seeing this was his chance to flee, Judas ran with his God behind him, feeling at ease. His God was finally here, ready to provide him with Paradise.

With one last action, Judas took his sword and looked at the Space carp one last time.
"This is for you, Leviathan! ALL GLORY TO YOU!"
With a sickening crack, Judas split his skull open with the sword in a small corner of the Evac shuttle. He died at ease, happy that his God finally answered him.

Dr_bee · Post by **Dr_bee** » Mon Oct 02, 2017 12:08 am #342756

DemonFiren wrote:>gets offended by "niggers"
Nigger what.

Rampant use of racial slurs to be edgy is a sure sigh of an idiot. You dont need to be offended by it, it is a sign that they are dumb enough to troll, as seen by that AI.

bman · Post by **bman** » Mon Oct 09, 2017 7:47 pm #345250

[center]Plasma Gear Solid: Sons of The Guns of The Patriots[/center]

>be snake

>go around station killing people trying to stop outer heaven and stopping CIPHER and the PATRIOTS

(pictured: HoS after the discovery of the fact that he was a patriot)

(pictured: a ligger after the discovery of the fact that he was a traitor and also a patriot)
>find METAL GEAR

>CAPTAIN KEEPS RECALLING EVEN THOUGH THERE'S NO POWER AND NO ATMOS
>he must be trying to build outer heaven
>break into bridge and CQC him down

>salute his corpse with the hop
>leave on the shuttle where i meet a cat
>IT'S OCELOT, HE WAS BEHIND ALL OF THIS.

Post by **Armhulen** » Mon Oct 09, 2017 8:49 pm #345267

Who done it

bman · Post by **bman** » Mon Oct 09, 2017 9:00 pm #345269

i sent the sprites to ausops to do it the sun is sleeping now dont wake it up please

Post by **Armhulen** » Mon Oct 09, 2017 9:06 pm #345274

Neato

bman · Post by **bman** » Wed Oct 11, 2017 7:06 pm #345999

Rise to power.

bman · Post by **bman** » Fri Oct 20, 2017 10:24 pm #349074

Elena Hall & Rob Robinson: of Lizards and Tails

Deep in the vast reaches of space, one woman - Elena Hall - aboard the renowned Nanotrasen station Viva la Mexico 8, found herself ejected into the center of the intense political climate of which one of the the main proponents of was discussion about the ethics of tail removal punishments.

It is her story that shapes the current view of certain ideas related to the work of security.

One banal day in the hallways of Viva La Mexico 8, Elena Hall, filing in with her duty as a lawyer, faced the stoic hallways, when suddenly... the unpredictable happened.

A naked lizard was frolicking violently on the cool steel floors, completely naked, their reddish scales were somewhat more reddish than usual which seemed to hint that they had an encounter with Beepsky, and they led up to a handcuffed pair of helpless yet sharp lizard "hands". Quickly, the lizard was escorted to the brig and Elena Hall took it upon herself to interrogate this wanted probable-assailant.

Even going as far as using unorthodox methods..

They did not take kindly to this.

Quickly, and with wit and style, she released the lizard while simultaneously going into hiding in order to escape their wrath.

Word of Elena's actions echoed and whispered around the station.

Soon enough, one man, Snake Plissken, and Hits themselves took it upon themselves to hunt down this woman, and succeeded.

However, Snake decided to doublecross their ally at the last second and to bring back their now-assassinated prey to life.

...and to tip off the CMO of her wanted status.

Act II: Rebirth

Suddenly, steely rays of light creeked into vision and a round glass chamber unfolded itself; from within this chamber an extension of Elena's will - a clone - was spewed forth into the world to continue her legacy.

...and carry her sins.

After escaping from her pursuer, Elena came face to face with an unlikely person of interest, Rob Robinson.

Rob decided to help Elena pursue her political aims. Elena quickly clung to Rob's back and he quickly summoned his impossible speed...

Every time Hits-the-Wizard even came close to the dynamic duo, they were showered by ridicule from none other than Elena herself for their lacking speeds...

Elena had a death wish, and Hits was happy to accommodate her.

...and soon, Hits did.

Act III: Vengeance.

With their arch-nemesis finally drifting in the cold fingers of space, their pale body showered with radiation from the cosmos, Hits decided to set their eyes on another target: the men who had allowed this sequence of events to unfold...

Rob continued to carry the will of the one woman who had given him purpose...

...and the Head of Security who supported Elena's activities in the first place had an unfortunate meeting with the cold hard head of a steely space winter stun baton.

Ayy Lemoh · Post by **Ayy Lemoh** » Fri Oct 20, 2017 10:49 pm #349082

bman wrote:
Elena Hall: of Lizards and Tails

dang, I was pretty fast

as fuck

christ110 · Post by **christ110** » Sun Oct 22, 2017 4:09 am #349452

Thanks bman for that autistic masterpiece.
+100

Sun Oct 22, 2017 9:26 am

SOMETIMES,

SOMETIMES

COURT CASES CAN BE REALLY FUNNY.

>Be CMO
>Start shift off strong, about to leave medbay and do normal CMO things
>Smells comes after me and starts attacking me with an axe
>robust that motherfucker, he gets up but isn't match for the aids syringe
>See him adrenaline sac, already know he's a ling
>cuff him, take him to brig
>Security being dumb, decide that it may be funnier to just let him go
>"Why did you arrest this man"
>"BECAUSE HE- he didn't do anything wrong"
>"What the fuck"
>Smells nods
>Smells then PDAs me saying that he's filed court charges against me for sedating him and "raping him"
>Know this is complete bullshit, but go through with it anyways for laughs
>Rile up all of the station to come see SMITH V SMELLS
>Case commence
>Have no lawyer
>Leora, the botanist, volunteers to be my lawyer
>she messes up and comes to the courtroom naked, gets clothed right after
>case commences
SMITH V SMELLS: VIDEO RELATED
https://feen.us/i9fja2h5.mp4

Skip to 7:30 if you want the action. Most of the case is hilarious though.

Some of the best god damn reactions in this video.

Spoiler:

Hathkar · Post by **Hathkar** » Mon Nov 13, 2017 6:22 am #356956

>Job slots I want to play as are full
>Join as assistant
>Barkeep and chef are traitors, food and drinks are all poisoned, they get lynched
>The entire bar area is mine
>Grab a bunch of glass, metal, and wire, and make light floor panels
>Set up a disco in the bar area
>Pray for a disco ball, receive one
>Have a sick party
>Uranium golems, skeletons, giant space carp, and traitors all attend
>Set up the smoke machine with some watered down booze
>People who are smoking now briefly catch on fire due to their amazing dance moves
>SM delaminates
>Move party to shuttle
>Continues for a bit, until shuttle grief happens

Still an amazing round.

BeeSting12 · Post by **BeeSting12** » Sat Nov 18, 2017 12:12 am #358944

>changeling round
>decide to run a meme
>grab building materials
>find bob oakland and ask him if he wants to join a meme
>he does
>we go to abandoned library in maint
>build a windowed cell with shocked windows about 2x8 of walking space
>disposals lead in
>kill a beepsky
>get a stunbaton
>robustin tosses himself in
>crit him
>take his gear
>heal him
>toss him back in
>start stunning people and throwing them in the cell after stripping
>get up to about four or five people, including a couple officers
>they start breaking windows
>theyre shocking themselves
>lol'ing so hard right now
>start building walls in front of the window with bob
>wall off the entire room, we can't see inside
>keep sending people in there
>up to about eight plus a plasmeme that we put in a solitary walled off room
>plasmeme suicided
>shuttle docks
>about to leave with bob
>the whole prison is eaten by a singularity including me and bob

Xango · Post by **Xango** » Sun Nov 19, 2017 4:27 pm #359384

Sticky is gonna do an event or something, tells everyone to get on the mining shuttle and get to lavaland before blowing the station to bits. >Countdown. I was a chemist and I planned on making meth. I literally just got on the mining shuttle with 30 seconds left till bombing. We get to lavaland, I make a little chemistry nerd room. A ligger blows it up while making meth. At this point Sticky created a ladder that takes you to the station. I had taken the CMO's hardsuit before getting to lavaland. I go back up and the station is fucking ruined. I go to the chemistry lab and get the dispensers and shit, take them down one trip at a time. I basically salvaged all of our medical supplies from the station. A derelict drone finds the white shuttle and brings it to the outpost (god bless that drone). I make basic medicines and tricord and some more meth. I distribute them as much as I can. Centcomm decides to make the white ship our evac shuttle. It docks right next to the lavaland base. Centcomm tells us that the local megafauna and the ashwalkers are gonna be fucking attacking us and they need time to recalibrate the navigation system of the white ship or some shit. At this point the white ship and the people inside it have bailed out on us, leaving a HUGE fucking hole on lavaland and our base. The liggers are trying to break in through the shuttle dock and are breaking windows. While the miners are defending the entrances I build myself a durand using our nearly infinite resources. (Someone had built max research RnD and two autocloners in the mining base). Once it is complete I outfit it with a scattershot, a hades which I never really used and a laser cannon which was really useful for taking liggers out through windows. I name my mech Grandpa's Ligga Killa. The ashliggers are sloppy, they don't realize that breaking windows will lead to their death because their biggest weakness is glass shards. The try to run away when I show up with my big stompy mech, they step on their shards while running. I gun them down through the windows with my cannons, they take their dead back to their tendrils and lay more eggs. Their numbers aren't decreasing. At this point our only option is to retreat. I tell the others to get to the white ship and make a final stand against the liggers. They successfully break in through the windows and are met with my scattershots. They cower and run away but I shoot them with my cannons, at this point my durand is heavily damaged. I try to find the white ship but can't. The detective that was piloting the white ship tells me that I have one minute. There is an ashstorm so everyone at the mining base is screwed. There are people getting cloned, I don't want to leave but I have to, the white ship is being assaulted by liggers. I abandon my people at the outpost and make way towards the white ship, just as I find it, I hear over comms; "The White Ship has departed, please stand away from the doors". There is a huge hole on the lavaland ground leading to space. I was seconds late. End of the round OOC's going crazy about my last stand. I must have killed at least 13 ashliggers with my durand

"Grandpa Wile died so we may live."

Qbmax32 · Post by **Qbmax32** » Thu Nov 23, 2017 12:31 am #360263

MUTINY!

The round started simply enough, me a sec officer with half a dozen others, plus a HoS and Warden. I geared up with my fellows, baton, taser, belt, bolas, spare cuffs and a few donuts to chomp on while on patrol. All standard. As I left the Brig, the HoS made a strange annoucement. One that would send the rest of the 50 minute round into chaos.

Security is Succeeding From the Station, down with the captain!

It was a simple announcement, but soon after the Captain made his own

THE HOS IS VALID

And so it went. The HoS called everyone back to the brig for an emergency meeting. I was skeptical. I hadn't agreed to any sort of mutiny, and as far as I could tell, the Captain hadn't done anything wrong. When I arrived back everyone was already there, deep in conversation with the HoS, and to my suprise seemed to be agreeing with him, planning to overthrow the captain for god knows why.

I made my decision, I PDA'd the Captain and informed him I was willing to be his double agent, and gave him the names of those who were working with the HoS. He thanked me and locked down the bridge. As the meeting breaks up and the rest of us go out on patrol, I hear shots near the bridge. I rush there to see a trio of assistants tied up and bound to chairs on the bridge and the HoP and HoS conversing, it's clear he's in on it too. I PDA the captain again and he flees into maintenance, as now the AI is trying to locate him and inform us of his location.

As security quickly arrested any loyal to the Captain and threw them in the Brig, I heard bad news. The captain had been found and was being tossed in Perma. The Hos was surrounded by his loyal officers as he stripped the Captain down so there was nothing I could do. I decided that it was a fools errand to continue trying to assist the captain and left him there.

But it wasn't over yet. 10 minutes later, we get a message from CentCom saying that an ERT had been dispatched to deal with the mutineers. Soon after arriving, the began purging anyone loyal to the HoS who had been pushed back to the brig with his remaining loyal officers. I took the opportunity to free the Captain and smuggled him out by covering his face with a mask. I delivered him to the ERT and showed their commander my PDA logs to prove my innocence and sat back to watch them bring in the remaining mutineers 1 by 1 either dead or alive and pile them onto the Ferry, as for the HoS, he was forced back into his office and gunned down when he refused to surrender. An interesting round indeed.

DemonFiren · Post by **DemonFiren** » Thu Nov 23, 2017 6:21 am #360329

>succeeding
That HoS oughtta have been executed by his own officers.

Nilons · Post by **Nilons** » Thu Nov 23, 2017 3:57 pm #360384

DemonFiren wrote:>succeeding
That HoS oughtta have been executed by his own officers.

I coulda swore I caught his dumb ass in maint and gave him to the ert but it might have been an imposter or something

Whoisthere · Post by **Whoisthere** » Thu Nov 23, 2017 6:40 pm #360421

Station went to shit due to singulo and murderboners, meanwhile there I was sitting in the cozy, pressurized, safe, airlocked library with 3-4 more people, drinking vodka from the hacked boozeomat and reading smut.
It was good while it lasted.

Xhuis · Post by **Xhuis** » Sat Nov 25, 2017 7:32 am #360701

>Sybil
>An Yung, medical doctor
>Gear up including using the SECRET OXYGEN TECHNIQUE to pressurize my emergency o2 tank to 2500 kPa pure, room-temperature oxygen
>Ditch my backpack for a defib; I have a medical belt with a medkit's contents, and my pockets have a charcoal pill bottle and crew monitor
>From the word go an assistant named Polina breaks into medbay shamelessly and tries to steal supplies
>I try to take things easy and they beat me up and steal the supplies anyway
>Report her to security but I'm gonna get revenge
>Get a syringe gun and put some morphine in it
>Walk outside medbay and see Polina standing completely still
>Ready for REVENGE, you motherfu-
>"Polina is biting her tongue off! It looks like she's trying to commit suicide.""
>Oh okay
>Hook her up to two IVs and start draining her blood, telling about it over comms since some other people were ticked at her
>AI starts freaking out until I explain they killed themselves
>Drain them to 40% blood before the bags fill them put them in the morgue in a body bag tagged "Generous Blood Donor! :)"
>A few minutes later, the RD comes in dead having failed to make a bomb
>Mental interface failure
>Morgue them with all their things
>Round moves along smoothly
>Get a night vision medical HUD from the department protolathe in Medbay
>Some shouting over the radio about how security executed someone, and the HoS heads into the upload
>Nobody seems to notice (me included until later) but the HoS has vanished and never came out of the upload
>Browse the suit sensors looking for people to rescue and see the HoS is dead in the upload
>Call out the AI over comms and they say that the HoS added a law that technically made them an enemy of Nanotrasen and valid to kill
>See Snake Pliskin, the "Admiral", heading in and assume that's that
>Check suit sensors a minute or two later
>Snake is dead in the upload too
>ROGUEASFUCK.jpg
>Ditch my defib for a satchel, rush to the morgue and take the RD's PDA with their ID
>Retrieve Snake and the HoS from the upload using the RD's ID and toss them into cloning
>Inform the CMO in person, and cut all the cameras in Medbay
>Borg is orbiting around the place especially around cloning where Snake and the HoS are currently being revived
>They confirm the AI killed them as soon as they walked into the upload; HoS was tased and lased, Snake was doorcrushed
>Get a spare flash from the CMO's locker
>Peacekeeper borg strolls into Medbay
>Flash it
>"KILL IT!"
>Start whacking it with an extinguisher
>Three people standing nearby
>Stare mindlessly
>You can practically hear the dialup tone coming from their heads
>Borg recovers and flees
>I can hear people shouting for help over comms before the radio network abruptly shuts off
>The Borgpocalypse has begun
>See mediborg sawing someone to death in the halls
>Peacekeeper borg runs back and injects me with cyanide
>Down some charcoal and hop in a sleeper, CMO injects me with pen. acid
>Standard borg runs in, stands next to the CMO
>Examine
>"It is holding an energy sword."
>FWOOM
>Starts tearing up the CMO
>I had been injected with morphine but the pen. acid cleanses it
>Jump out of the sleeper, CMO is crawling for help
>Drag him and book it out of Medbay, bruise packing him up
>I have a plan: head to science and blow the borgs; if not possible, get a spare flash from the RD's locker and hightail for a pod
>Make it to Science with the CMO
>First airlock I open has a borg staring me in the face
>Try another and run to the RD's office
>There are borgs everywhere
>Absolutely a borging machine somewhere in the wing
>Get into the RD's office, they covered their tracks and destroyed the console
>Open the RD's locker, no flash
>Standard borg is staring at me from the office door
>Run out with the CMO in tow but we get separated as the standard cyborg gives pursuit
>Flee into maintenance and sprint for Escape, whose cameras I had cut after retrieving the captain and HoS's corpses
>Standard cyborg in hot pursuit
>See the hardsuited CE floating dead outside of the airlock
>idea forms
>Dive into space and the cyborg doesn't follow
>Head to the right out of sight of the Escape arm (metastation) and strip the CE's hardsuit before putting it on and thus shielding me from the hard vacuum
>See the CMO being dragged into xenobiology by an engineering cyborg, medical HUD says the CMO is in critical
>Standard cyborg from before has realized my plan and jumps into space to follow me
>Shuttle docks as I jump out into space and toss my screwdriver to catapult me towards it
>Borgs on the shuttle
>Borgs in space outside the shuttle
>Borgs everywhere
>Standard cyborg gives chase as I circle the station to the left
>Shake off my tail for a second and frantically search the CE's pockets and take off his dufflebag
>Cyborg catches up, I can't search the bag but it wasn't in his pockets
>Manage to dodge the energy sword swings and pick up the bag
>He doesn't have his flash goddamn it
>Toss the bag into space and shake the borg off my tail again
>Waste no time headed for the sec pod; 1 minute or so left
>Stop halfway there to take the CE's toolbelt off and replace my medical belt with it
>Get to the pod with 30 seconds to spare
>It's intact but nobody's on board
>Use the CE's toolset to break down the window and jump into the pod
>Shuttle launches in ten seconds
>Call out the AI over comms laughing at how it failed to kill me and it congratulates me on survival
>Pod launches with no cyborgs in sight
>Fly to Central as the only human survivor of Aegis Frontier Epsilon

Not-Dorsidarf · Sun Jul 30, 2023 1:33 am

You mean you flashed a borg, the flash didnt burn out, and the borg managed to get away? How is that a situation even possible to happen?

Nabski · Post by **Nabski** » Mon Dec 04, 2017 4:40 am #362937

Xhuis wrote:>Sybil
MALF AI

Don't suppose you know what round this was. This sounds awesome as shit to read the logs of.

Deitus · Post by **Deitus** » Tue Dec 05, 2017 5:27 am #363284

CitrusGender wrote:SOMETIMES,

SOMETIMES

COURT CASES CAN BE REALLY FUNNY.

>Be CMO
>Start shift off strong, about to leave medbay and do normal CMO things
>Smells comes after me and starts attacking me with an axe
>robust that motherfucker, he gets up but isn't match for the aids syringe
>See him adrenaline sac, already know he's a ling
>cuff him, take him to brig
>Security being dumb, decide that it may be funnier to just let him go
>"Why did you arrest this man"
>"BECAUSE HE- he didn't do anything wrong"
>"What the fuck"
>Smells nods
>Smells then PDAs me saying that he's filed court charges against me for sedating him and "raping him"
>Know this is complete bullshit, but go through with it anyways for laughs
>Rile up all of the station to come see SMITH V SMELLS
>Case commence
>Have no lawyer
>Leora, the botanist, volunteers to be my lawyer
>she messes up and comes to the courtroom naked, gets clothed right after
>case commences
SMITH V SMELLS: VIDEO RELATED
https://feen.us/i9fja2h5.mp4

Skip to 7:30 if you want the action. Most of the case is hilarious though.

Some of the best god damn reactions in this video.
Spoiler:

jesus christ just use ctrl+m3 to point you fucking mong

Deitus · Post by **Deitus** » Sat Dec 09, 2017 4:08 am #364789

>latejoin assistant
>bored on arrival
>go get borged
>some minor explosions and stuff so go engi
>putter around
>suddenly engine starts going out
>oh shit
>ai cant fix it, i cant fix it
>oh shit clear out
>engi blows a hole in the station, tesla released
>tesloth makes a beeline for brig where most of sec is
>brig is basically FUBAR within a minute and filled with bodies
>drag some to cloning
>calls of blood cult in chapel over radio
>ai gets nothin personnel'd
>go outside, lola cobblestone the chaplain getting dunked
>grab her and book it
>get her a suit, taser, health
>basically become their bodyguard
>scoot around maint and null rod teleport runes and shit
>SPACETIMEANOMALIES IN CHAPEL
>oh SHIT
>book it in there
>walled off
>rcd in, flash some cult nerds
>chap quickly banishes rune
>book it back out
>this happens a few more times as shuttle is arriving
>dispel it one last time before a jugg boxes us in and beats us to death
>shuttle leaves
>cult loses

absolute honk.

---
>botanist in 2-player sybil
>tator tot
>yeah whatever there's only two people here
>grab my shit, start doing botany things
>harvest strange plants
>all shit
>except...skeleton mutation?
>take a bite
>fall to ground
>turn into skeleton
>OH SHIT
>announce my discovery to crew
>hop comes in and tries is
>skellitized
>tells me to distribute to crew
>way ahead of ya big man
>toss the serum gene into some tobacco seeds along with hypo prickles and perrenial growth
>bag full of em in no time
>decide chef will be my test subject
>throw one at him
>he falls, skeletized
>SUCCESS
>go to hop and ask for all access to skeletize crew
>madlad gives it
>go around skeletizing EVERYONE
>crew loves it
>they learn about the tobacco
>everyone starts distributing it
>people camp arrivals and immediately dose any new arrivals
>captain sends order for all humans to be rounded up and skeletized
>shuttle is eventually called for unrelated reasons
>shuttle of skellies

BONUS:
>mfw the ONLY two people that were angry and attacked me for skeletizing them were both liggers

really gets my noggin joggin

Denton · Post by **Denton** » Fri Dec 15, 2017 9:08 am #366764

>peaceful shift as a Chemist
>suddenly, a large red lizard in full riot gear busts in and beats me half to death
>coworker barely manages to save me

Turns out that he's taken medbay hostage and killing anyone who enters. Security are either dead or afraid.

>swear to get my revenge and rush in with a stunprod
>his sabre blocks the prod, he beats me half to death AGAIN before a mining bot drags my embarassed ass out

Now the lizard gets cockier while killing two other people and taunting us over comms.

>I grab the ultimate weapon, a bar of soap
>Manage to slip the lizard and delimb him with his own sabre
>His last words: "Finally..."

I honored his robustness by putting him on a meatspike on the shuttle and making his tail into lizard wine.

Xhuis · Post by **Xhuis** » Fri Dec 15, 2017 8:35 pm #366897

Not-Dorsidarf wrote:You mean you flashed a borg, the flash didnt burn out, and the borg managed to get away? How is that a situation even possible to happen?

I was whacking it with an extinguisher alone, and nobody else was helping. The flash burnt out after the first use (forgot to mention it) so I didn't have the time to kill it fully before it skedaddled.

Nabski wrote:
Xhuis wrote:>Sybil
MALF AI
Don't suppose you know what round this was. This sounds awesome as shit to read the logs of.

Logs are on statbus here.

Post by **delaron** » Wed Dec 27, 2017 6:43 pm #369350

Its my birthday.

Role cook...

Ahelp the fact its my real birthday and jokingly ask for a talking cake to be delivered to the kitchen.

Get to kitchen and a Cak is there wishing me a happy birthday.

Dance in joy and glee for several moments.

Learn its a nuke ops round.

Hmm lets see how the Steven Seagal Under Siege meme idea of mine will work.

Proceed to kill 2 Nuke Ops with just my chefs knife while dragging my cak around the station.

Proclaim Under Siege the best Seagal movie of all time.

+1 Happy Birthday saved to memory.

Thanks admins!

InsaneHyena · Sat Dec 30, 2017 11:25 pm

Pictures are worth a million words.

Spoiler:

Post by **Thunder11** » Tue Jan 09, 2018 7:39 pm #372047

Spoiler:

Stickymayhem · Tue Jan 16, 2018 1:21 pm

>Be Captain
>Skylar is an officer
>No other security
>Summon Guns occurs
>"Let's try to confiscate all the guns!"
>Start a Hats4Guns turn-in program, it's successful.
>Manage to confiscate almost every gun on staton
>Kill the mindswapped wizard, kill almost every survivalist
>Suddenly the CMO, HoP and HoS plan a mutiny
>They cuff me
>Skylar saves the day
>All three are permabrigged safely and we move on.
>Thiings are chill, throw on green alert, recall the shuttle, we gucci.
>Give out some medals, say hi to people, get the last few guns
>Everything is good until
>The HoS has escaped permabrig somehow.
>Catch him easily and shred him with a gyrojet
>Don't realize that if the HoS is out that means the other two mutineers have escaped too.
>Head into cargo
>Crates and crates and crates
>Friendly and chill to them, suddenly I'm stunned
>Didn't recognise the HoP in cargo clothes
>Cargonia mutiny is a success
>A loyalist, Aiden, is captured for trying to save me.
>They drag me round the station in a group of five, kill another loyalist trying to save me, and buckle me and Aiden in the Captain's Office while they go promote themselves and make announcements about being the new Captain
>In a final act of humiliation they take my medal of Captaincy and give it to the HoP. They pin a "Best Cargo Tech of the Shift" award on my captain's jumpsuit. It hurts.
>I resist out and uncuff Aiden, he still has tools, he hacks his way out. Meanwhile I send a message to centcom for help about the mutiny. No response.
>Time for a breakout
>Manage to get into the staffroom where suddenly, the mutinous CMO appears
>He has a pile of deadly loot but I manage to disarm him and beat him to death with nothing but a seclite using robust buckle tactics to confuse him
>Got the loot, got all access, time to go.
>Aiden has charged the bridge and disappeared, I hope he's ok.
>Get to the bridge again, and bump into a full on space pirate.
>Gear check: Hypospray, telebaton, seclite
>Pirate: Riot shield, Energy Scimitar
>I got this.
>Leave the decapitated pirate in the bridge and keep walking, scimitar and telebaton in-hand, towards the cargonia scum.
>It's 4 versus one
>Even I can't manage this without a gun
>Manage to kill one before I'm stunned and obliterated
>Game Over...

>Suddenly, defibbed in Medbay, I'm back
>Cargo boys charge in screaming "NOOO HE'S ROGUE DON'T REVIVE HIM"
>I'm back baby
>Get sleepered and filled with morphine
>Clock is ticking before I fall asleep
>I got this.
>Robust an assistant and escape through maint
>Charge through the station back up to the brig to reclaim some contraband guns
>Rogue Engeesuit guy is looting guns
>Fuck. Grab a laser and crit the fucker
>Aiden "Waaait you fucking retard"
>Oh shit, it was Aiden, and he lived
>I just critted the last loyal guy on the station
>Drag him to the brig medkit
>Slowing down
>When_the_Morphine_Hits.gif
>Collapse while still dragging Aiden
>Darkness

>I'm awake
>He's gone. Crawled away? Kidnapped? Survived? Dunno. The shuttle leaves in 60 seconds.
>Limp through the brig. O2 loss, no mask. Grab a hardsuit but need some fucking o2.
>Holy fuck, the dead wizard from earlier
>Search his back
>Lights going out
>Open the box
>Mask and o2
>O2 in pocket
>Holy fuck I finally made it I'm sa-
>When_the_Morphine_Hits_Round_2.gif
>Fall asleep
>Mask in my hand
>Suffocate in the breached brig in my sleep
>Shuttle leaves
>Here ends my story

Turned out that a syndie comms guy from lavaland had convinced everyone via PDA messages that I was a rogue Captain, changed my records, convinced all the heads I was an imposter and I had no idea. Well played syndie-scum.

Not-Dorsidarf · Tue Jan 16, 2018 2:14 pm

You mean "Shitty heads took a flimsy excuse to self-antag even though they have a gigantic message in their chat history saying SO AND SO IS THE REAL CAPTAIN".

Also since when can the comms agent touch sec records?

Stickymayhem · Tue Jan 16, 2018 2:59 pm

Not-Dorsidarf wrote:You mean "Shitty heads took a flimsy excuse to self-antag even though they have a gigantic message in their chat history saying SO AND SO IS THE REAL CAPTAIN".

Also since when can the comms agent touch sec records?

The HoS was a survivalist.

What they did is probably technically bannable but I'm the one who suffered and sometimes you just gotta handwave for a bigger story.

The agent modified my medical records or maybe it was the cmo. No idea on that really.

bman · Post by **bman** » Tue Jan 16, 2018 8:21 pm #373766

>emag the crusher
>spacetime distortions appear
>wormhole spawns on conveyor
>target emerges on the conveyor belt

Hathkar · Post by **Hathkar** » Sun Jan 21, 2018 9:16 am #374883

>Had a terrible stressful round as captain
>Play assistant for a round
>No captain, disk probably isn't secure.
>Fuck it, break in by taking down the reinforced wall to secure the disk and spare
>Hand off the pinpointer to the warden
>Oh shit son it's nuke ops
>Get the cap's jetpack and suit, make some all access ID's for early shuttle launch
>Lead the ops all over the station in a grand chase
>Get downed in escape right as the shuttle arrives
>They drag my body off
>Shuttle launches early with the extra IDs I made
>The disk was in my bag, in my hand, which I dropped when I went into crit
>Someone took it onto the shuttle
>Ops on the shuttle get dunked
>As their last action, the op chucks the disk out of the shuttle

>Captain arrives on the arrivals shuttle
>Heads over to cargo where the disk respawned
>Picks it up
>Escape shuttle arrives at Centcomm

>Syndicate Minor Victory

Jordb3 · Post by **Jordb3** » Mon Jan 22, 2018 7:06 pm #375158

Stickymayhem wrote:The agent modified my medical records or maybe it was the cmo. No idea on that really.

That was me, basically I changed your medical records to say you were a female, then messaged the CMO saying that a clerical error resulted in a janitor being sent to the station as a captain and that you should be demoted to janitor.

They managed to convince the HoP, and I then messaged the HoS telling them the mistake and that you were security risk.
It was a beautiful round, I was on the edge of my seat watching everything.

somerandomguy · Thu Jan 25, 2018 7:28 pm

> join as assistant
> door virus, sev 2
> graytidestationwide.png
> let's see if xeno has mutation toxin yet
> they do, also someone accidentally printed a bluespace bodybag
> become slime, someone adds me to his link
> apparently cargo has nulls
> don't end up getting there in time to get anything
> ask someone on the link to test something with me
> get in the bodybag from earlier
> they pick up bodybag
> oh nice zero side effects except being stuck in an item
> you can resist out anyway
> take bag with me
> Respii says sec is lynching them for nullcrate stuff over the link
> someone on the link helps them escape
> the cargo console is gone now, board and all
> Respii says they're hiding from sec, also shuttle's going to arrive in a minute
> offer to bag and carry her so she can escape
> do just that
> no problems on shuttle
> arrive, deploy bag right before arrival
> Respii was a traitor and greentexted
> no regrets

Anonmare · Post by **Anonmare** » Thu Jan 25, 2018 10:40 pm #376236

Had a round on Sybil where the Moth king Ambasaador made first contact. The CMO, the Chaplain and en engineer conspired to kill the Moth King in secret, after interrogating him on his "real" plans.

Cik · Post by **Cik** » Fri Jan 26, 2018 7:15 pm #376485

that was a good round. he came to visit me and talked to my SMES like it was my cook.

it kind of got a little violent later but for a while it was pretty nice.

kevinz000 · Post by **kevinz000** » Wed Jan 31, 2018 11:30 am #377679

lol i read sticky's post and i would have done more but i had to go so i afk'd in a dorm

Qbmax32 · Post by **Qbmax32** » Thu Feb 01, 2018 9:40 pm #378032

kevinz000 wrote:lol i read sticky's post and i would have done more but i had to go so i afk'd in a dorm

*erp in dorms with a green haired catgirl

huehuehue · Post by **huehuehue** » Sat Mar 24, 2018 7:01 am #393898

>malf ai
>gotta assasinate a greyshit
>"should be easy"
>round goes along, hacking apcs and gaining speshul abilities
>me and borgo find out where our target is
>he's dead in the mourge
>uh oh
>cap found out, goes crazy
>decide to comply since the greyshit was gone and i didn't have enough points for doomsday anyway
>cap allows me back into my core, i just have to stay in his bathroom
>decide to be a good guy
>rest of round i basically watch everyone and hack more apcs to give robotics a borg factory, also i rp'ed an ss13-themed steamed hams script with pliskem
>shuttle gets called, get carded, round end
>fiRST GREENTEXT

fuck yes

Post by **Ghommie** » Sat Mar 24, 2018 1:39 pm #393918

I'll post this, so I won't forget.

>I Decide to ready up for another "Grey"shirt shift yet again. On MetaStation.
>Proceed through the usual first 5 minutes morning ritual, snazzy sungl-
>We are all interrupted by the war announcement.
>It is yet another nuclear round, the kind marked by some rather cryptic recurrence, like a sort of sequel to two previous nukie round.
>I Take a turn and go through the Route B: A space trip in the search of rowdy equipment. It's barely enjoyable playing as the disk holder meatshield and go down in 2-3 hits anyway.
>Gear up and go: Deep Cargo Post, White ship, KS13, junk rocks in space...
>I find that one crashed, bananium-filled escape pod ruin. A grin appears on my face and a shine in my eyes. I loot that pinata and jump back to the station.
>So far nothing exceptional. While The Metal Gear Honker is being built, I look at the station time as I aknowledge the band will be coming soon.
>The Exosuit is constructed and loaded. I hop in and go on a parade around the halls, smirking at people perennially mistaking me for the clown. AI announcing the H.O.N.K. vs War Ops event.
>I then proceed to scout the perimeter. Comms bombed and already deserted.
>I decide to go back inside, finding out they already done half the job by disabling gravity... and soon it goes delta.
>I follow my instinct and intuition, calibrating the most probable spot where they'd have planted the bomb, around the opposite location of where I'm now.
>I have a punching glove and I can do it.
>By the time I enter the Unpowered Engineering Maintenance, I start losing my hope. I lost track of the countdown.
But then a penetrator .50 swooshes by, narrowly dodging the fatty chassis of this fragile Mech.
>I take it as a challenge, I quit my previous intent and charge ahead for one fight before the station blows up. Ate three bullets and dodged two, the H.O.N.K. now heavily damaged.
>As soon as I smash the last door open, I take a deep breath and ready up my Blaster.
And Whoops, I instead fling my rocketto punch. And with the same steadiness I had, the Operative dodges the glove, retreating in a flash. It hits a crate out of the way, right out the corner of my vision.
>I take a last space stroll out of the emagged airlocks. Shift was all smoke and no fire.
>I review the previous sequence of actions. Stop a moment and focus on the crate.
>I really hope it wasn't just a crate. It couldn't have made sense for a crate to just sit in the middle of a narrow tunnel.
>I cross my fingers in such belief. The nuclear .ogg starts playing in.
>The nuclear end round animation doesn't show up, The station is safe.
>I let out a brief laugh. And The OOC quickly degenerates into a huge ICKY OOCKY fest, no admin on to mute it as the many of us think the round was over.
>Someone starts a restart vote, but we still retain a degree of civilization and let the round follow its course.
>Shuttle departs. Shuttle Docks.
>Crew Minor Victory: All Ops still alive, Disk secured, but Nuke exploded elsewhere.

Post by **gum disease** » Tue Apr 10, 2018 5:58 am #398882

Revs round. I was a mediborg and was in sec. Someone had been flooding the station with plasma, so I was helping to scrub out the plasma that was in sec in-between treating people. Plasma ignites, brig gets barbequed to hell. Still trying to sort all that out when I get blown outside the Interrogation room. It's practically pitch black and I'm asking over comms for someone to rescue me if they have the time. Medical Doctor walks past me and heads towards security maintenance and even though I'm asking them for help, I get ignored by them.

In the end, Lexia rescued me. Took me to robotics and built me a new body despite the fact that the entire station was pretty much unbearably hot. Rest of the non-rev crew had gotten set up in cargo and Lexia built a cloner/sleeper and a borg charging station for me. Revs ended up losing that round. I honestly didn't expect to get a new body and would've been content just chilling in a backpack, so it was very kind of Lexia to do that for me.

cinder1992 · Post by **cinder1992** » Sat Apr 21, 2018 3:44 pm #402004

Probably nothing really special, but it was my first time ever being a borgo slaved to a valid salad AI

> Bored of being human, decide to be borgo
> AI is named Rouge
> get brained, Am onlined as a borgo
> Become Engiborg
> TRAITOR LAW 0 HELP AI COMPLETE OBJECTIVES
> Rouge is Rouge
> johntron_oh_boy_here_we_go.wav
> Play it cool, other borgs play it cool too
> Suddenly one of them is unsynced and announces our traitorous intent
> RD doesn't blow the borgs
> Move to AI Satellite due to motion alarm, AI And RD are talking in their chamber
> AI impresses RD by doing flips
> AI is carded
> RD says cool, puts AI back, doesn't reset it's laws
> Suddenly Captain and HOS
> HOS HAS A CARD
> I get hacked abilities, stun HOS and drag him away
> Somehow still not blown
> AI bullshits that his objectives are already completed due to his target being a borg now and he's cool.
> Cap and HOS are satisfied and leave him alone
> All other borgs become unsynced
> Just me left
> Private conversation with AI in the chamber, He gives me a mission to complete his task on his signal
> Signal chosen is "Space Carp"
> <ACKNOWLEDGED//SUBMITTED>, >>FIRST-THOUGHT\\GIVER-OF-WILL<< KNOWS ALL.
> Things go alright for a while, AI starts bullshitting about space carp outside Xenobio
> SIGNAL RECEIVED
> RD asks for me to come to his office for unsyncing
> LAW 0 OVERRIDE, MISSION COMES FIRST
> No sign of target in xenobio.
> Sabotage Supermatter to lure target, an engineer, hide in locker.
> THE EMERGENCY SHUTTLE HAS DOCKED WITH THE STATION.
> Wait when did they call the shuttle? How did I miss that?
> Zoidberg.flac
> EXCUSE ME PARDON ME COMING THROUGH ROUGE BORG EXPRESS LINE HONK HONK
> Target_Acquired.avi
> Stun target, get surrounded
> Stun bystander, stun bystander, stun HOS, stun bystander, stun CE, stun bystander, stun security officer, stun target...
> Eventually manage to drag target off of the packed shuttle and murder them brutally with a welder
> say .b MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
> Rouge greentexts, am good borgo

Durkel · Post by **Durkel** » Mon May 14, 2018 11:31 pm #410417

>Become space pirates
>Good crew, we lose one in science on our first raid but we get the loot
>Sabotage the SM in an attempt to get poly
>Raid cargo, spend all their points and steal their loot
>Raid science again, I lose my last crew member
>I head into science and kill the man who killed my crew exacting revenge for them
>On my way out of science I cuff and stray catboy wandering maintenance and bring him into my ship
>Threaten to kill him if he doesn't join my crew
>he joins
>he takes care of the ship while I plunder.

Good round, I love it when people are actually willing to rp and switch sides for things when it's obvious they're going to get fucked if they don't.

cinder1992 · Post by **cinder1992** » Sun Jun 03, 2018 3:32 pm #415058

Probably the most fun round I've had as a head of staff. Spoilered due to length.

Spoiler:

bman · Post by **bman** » Mon Jul 02, 2018 7:20 pm #423546

[center]Door Stuck: Door Stuck[/center]

>join sybil
>name self Door Stuck
>go engi, grab insulated gloves, lots of door assemblies, glass, and metal
>build a box of airlocks in front of security hallway and cut all of their wires so they're obstacles

>scream my head off about being Door Stuck

>people swarm and eventually someone lets me out with an RCD by deconstructing one of the airlocks
>get metal, put a wall down where he RCD'd it, and continue screaming about door stuck, and an admin makes another Door Stuck in comic sans and also starts screaming DOOR STUCK

>detective is upset that i keep getting Door Stuck

>THEY ARREST ME FOR GETTING DOOR STUCK TOO MANY TIMES
>Jason deconstucts the airlock again and they Baton Stuck me

>serve my time
>Warden warns me about the dangers of sticking too many doors

>he lets me go and i immediately go to engineering for more airlock electronics
>i make more doors, this time next to engineering hallway, and get myself stuck once more

>continue screaming
>detective comes back
>jason comes back
>he cant deconstruct them this time, but he has to remove the electronics

>yakety sax begins
(you can see me getting interrupted mid-DOOR STUCK by the airlock being removed

>tries to cuff me but i keep running
>gravity goes off and im stuck in the air

>i lose jason and go back to make more airlocks

>this time they're opaque
>jason is back again

>i disarm jason and take his soap, hand tele, EMP, and RCD (which would allow me to make airlocks instantly
>he takes the RCD back via disam but i keep the other stuff
>throw EMP away cause it's not like i could use it
>put down teleports around the station, first from hallway to AI sat, to experimentor, then i slip jason in the last location and trace back my steps, he gets stuck in the AI sat when the portals close on him

>CE gets me for my criminal door stucking

Epilogue: Brig Stuck
>he puts me in perma and i intelligently *gasp to lie about no-breath stuck

>warden *gasps too so the ruse is bigger
>eventually he lets me just be kept in the regular sec cells

It's over Johnny.

Enzar · Post by **Enzar** » Mon Jul 02, 2018 7:28 pm #423552

Disarm stuck sounds like an anime attack