i am angry about bidets again

Post by **oranges** » Thu Oct 11, 2018 10:05 am #444677

Bottom post of the previous page:

americans being blown the fuck out of the filth they're living in right now

wubli · Post by **wubli** » Thu Oct 11, 2018 12:22 pm #444691

this is bad cop and good cop

Grazyn · Post by **Grazyn** » Thu Oct 11, 2018 2:51 pm #444699

CosmicScientist wrote:Vatznick is Murican? We have so many nationalities, I'm not even sure Muricans exist now. They are a conspiracy created by France.

I don't really care, with all the bullshit about bidets I read here I'm mostly using "American" as an insult by now

Nabski · Post by **Nabski** » Thu Oct 11, 2018 2:52 pm #444700

Deitus wrote:
Nabski wrote:
Timbrewolf wrote:
Deitus wrote:i unironically only poop every 2-3 days tbh, yeah they're big but ive been doing this for as long as i can remember and ive never had any health issues
just mental health issues ayy gottem
What the fuck are you eating that you only poop every 2-3 days. Boy get some fiber in ya.
i actually eat a lot, usually my meals are
>breakfast
scrambled eggs with cheese, a glass of chocolate milk, a muffin, and a bowl of yogurt with lots of blueberries and granola
>lunch
maybe a snack if im hungry, usually dont eat lunch
>dinner
whatever is in the cafeteria (usually a sandwich or some chicken or other meats), a salad with peas, corn, dressing, and croutons, the same bowl of yogurt/blueberries/granola, a glass of apple juice, and a small desert of like a cookie or something.

also some late-night snacks if im hungry.
still only need to shit every other day at minimum.

Yeah the granola should be enough fiber.
That's a decently balanced diet. Well done.

iksyp · Post by **iksyp** » Thu Oct 11, 2018 4:29 pm #444709

Grazyn wrote:
CosmicScientist wrote:Vatznick is Murican? We have so many nationalities, I'm not even sure Muricans exist now. They are a conspiracy created by France.
I don't really care, with all the bullshit about bidets I read here I'm mostly using "American" as an insult by now

ass blasted about ass blasters

SaveVatznick · Thu Oct 11, 2018 4:55 pm

Grazyn wrote:
CosmicScientist wrote:Vatznick is Murican? We have so many nationalities, I'm not even sure Muricans exist now. They are a conspiracy created by France.
I don't really care, with all the bullshit about bidets I read here I'm mostly using "American" as an insult by now

So when when you Euros meet each other, do you stick your faces in each other's butts like dogs do?

Deitus · Post by **Deitus** » Thu Oct 11, 2018 5:09 pm #444713

Nabski wrote: Yeah the granola should be enough fiber.
That's a decently balanced diet. Well done.

i need to start exercising though so i can lose some weight. i usually dont consider myself fat so much as just overweight for my build but im starting to straddle the line pretty hard, planning to unironically start going to the gym next week once all these fucking midterms die down a bit

iksyp wrote:
Grazyn wrote:
CosmicScientist wrote:Vatznick is Murican? We have so many nationalities, I'm not even sure Muricans exist now. They are a conspiracy created by France.
I don't really care, with all the bullshit about bidets I read here I'm mostly using "American" as an insult by now
ass blasted about ass blasters

i hereby petition to change the thread name to this

Coconutwarrior97 · Thu Oct 11, 2018 5:24 pm

I am a perfectly clean healthy boy and have never used a bidet. Im sure if i grew up with bidets I would like them, but toilet paper has always worked for me. We must put aside our differences and acknowledge our shared hate for messy buttholes. Viva la ass!

Grazyn · Post by **Grazyn** » Thu Oct 11, 2018 5:53 pm #444726

SaveVatznick wrote:
Grazyn wrote:
CosmicScientist wrote:Vatznick is Murican? We have so many nationalities, I'm not even sure Muricans exist now. They are a conspiracy created by France.
I don't really care, with all the bullshit about bidets I read here I'm mostly using "American" as an insult by now
So when when you Euros meet each other, do you stick your faces in each other's butts like dogs do?

I still have trouble believing that a technologically and culturally advanced people like you Americans can be so blissfuly ignorant about basic personal hygiene. I'm not just talking about the foul smell of death and decay produced by improperly cleaned ass and genitalia, one can learn to live with that, I mean all the health hazards you choose to ignore. I could understand if you had single-payer healthcare, after all, why worry about your own health if someone else has to pay for it, but you have to pay for it with your own damn money! UTIs from shit bacteria can be a bitch to cure, they can even be lethal is bacteria goes into your blood, or destroy your kidneys if you're lucky. Why take the risk to gamble with that, instead of putting your national pride away for a second and just use a bidet? "No I'm gonna clean my ass the AMERICAN WAY, even if it means paying the toll with my life." That's how stupid you sound.

iksyp · Post by **iksyp** » Thu Oct 11, 2018 6:02 pm #444730

Grazyn wrote:
SaveVatznick wrote:
Grazyn wrote:
CosmicScientist wrote:Vatznick is Murican? We have so many nationalities, I'm not even sure Muricans exist now. They are a conspiracy created by France.
I don't really care, with all the bullshit about bidets I read here I'm mostly using "American" as an insult by now
So when when you Euros meet each other, do you stick your faces in each other's butts like dogs do?
I still have trouble believing that a technologically and culturally advanced people like you Americans can be so blissfuly ignorant about basic personal hygiene. I'm not just talking about the foul smell of death and decay produced by improperly cleaned ass and genitalia, one can learn to live with that, I mean all the health hazards you choose to ignore. I could understand if you had single-payer healthcare, after all, why worry about your own health if someone else has to pay for it, but you have to pay for it with your own damn money! UTIs from shit bacteria can be a bitch to cure, they can even be lethal is bacteria goes into your blood, or destroy your kidneys if you're lucky. Why take the risk to gamble with that, instead of putting your national pride away for a second and just use a bidet? "No I'm gonna clean my ass the AMERICAN WAY, even if it means paying the toll with my life." That's how stupid you sound.

we aren't even saying that bidets are bad, we're saying that you don't need it to survive.
you make it sound like without a bidet you're ass will become nerve gas and you will die instantly

Grazyn · Post by **Grazyn** » Thu Oct 11, 2018 6:11 pm #444732

iksyp wrote: we aren't even saying that bidets are bad, we're saying that you don't need it to survive.
you make it sound like without a bidet you're ass will become nerve gas and you will die instantly

I'm not the one who spread fake news in this thread about bidets, saying they blast your ass with cold water coming straight from the toilet and so on, with the intent of making Europeans look like weirdos and Americans like educated gentlemen who obviously use the most excellent and practical way to clean their asses. Yes, those unholy contraptions do exist. I refuse to consider them bidets.

THIS is a bidet.

Notice the compact size, which makes it fit in almost all kinds of bathrooms, the mixer to accurately regulate the water temperature to best suit your needs, the directional faucet which can be conveniently aimed at your ass or genitalia.

How can you be a girl on period and not think you need this in your life ASAP?

Nabski · Post by **Nabski** » Thu Oct 11, 2018 6:25 pm #444733

That's a sink. Grazyn you've been shitting in the sink again.

Stop it.

iksyp · Post by **iksyp** » Thu Oct 11, 2018 6:27 pm #444734

Grazyn wrote:
iksyp wrote: we aren't even saying that bidets are bad, we're saying that you don't need it to survive.
you make it sound like without a bidet you're ass will become nerve gas and you will die instantly
I'm not the one who spread fake news in this thread about bidets, saying they blast your ass with cold water coming straight from the toilet and so on, with the intent of making Europeans look like weirdos and Americans like educated gentlemen who obviously use the most excellent and practical way to clean their asses. Yes, those unholy contraptions do exist. I refuse to consider them bidets.

How can you be a girl on period and not think you need this in your life ASAP?

"this bidet is not a bidet because i do not like it"
lol
also i don't think anyone's said "tp is superior in cleaning power" unless im mistaken but not searching 7 pages of ass blastery

Deitus · Post by **Deitus** » Thu Oct 11, 2018 6:32 pm #444735

Grazyn wrote:
iksyp wrote: we aren't even saying that bidets are bad, we're saying that you don't need it to survive.
you make it sound like without a bidet you're ass will become nerve gas and you will die instantly
I'm not the one who spread fake news in this thread about bidets, saying they blast your ass with cold water coming straight from the toilet and so on, with the intent of making Europeans look like weirdos and Americans like educated gentlemen who obviously use the most excellent and practical way to clean their asses. Yes, those unholy contraptions do exist. I refuse to consider them bidets.

THIS is a bidet.

Notice the compact size, which makes it fit in almost all kinds of bathrooms, the mixer to accurately regulate the water temperature to best suit your needs, the directional faucet which can be conveniently aimed at your ass or genitalia.

How can you be a girl on period and not think you need this in your life ASAP?

holy shit im fucking dying
this thread is solid gold

teepeepee · Post by **teepeepee** » Thu Oct 11, 2018 6:36 pm #444737

@wubli
te kb bidetera
https://www.google.com.ar/amp/s/www.cla ... Q.amp.html

tl;dr bidet no longer obligatory for hotels and new buildings in the shithole of Argentina

Grazyn · Post by **Grazyn** » Thu Oct 11, 2018 6:37 pm #444740

iksyp wrote: "this bidet is not a bidet because i do not like it"
lol
also i don't think anyone's said "tp is superior in cleaning power" unless im mistaken but not searching 7 pages of ass blastery

You can attach a tube to the toilet, make it spray dirty water on your ass and call it a bidet but it doesn't make it a bidet. The thing in the image is the rightful heir to the historical bidet.

SaveVatznick · Thu Oct 11, 2018 6:43 pm

Grazyn wrote:
iksyp wrote: "this bidet is not a bidet because i do not like it"
lol
also i don't think anyone's said "tp is superior in cleaning power" unless im mistaken but not searching 7 pages of ass blastery
You can attach a tube to the toilet, make it spray dirty water on your ass and call it a bidet but it doesn't make it a bidet. The thing in the image is the rightful heir to the historical bidet.

Are you trying to sell us something? Are you a bidet salesman over in buttsniffistan trying to grow a new market in the US, Grazyn?

teepeepee · Post by **teepeepee** » Thu Oct 11, 2018 6:46 pm #444743

the bidet rabbithole goes deeper
https://www.clarin.com/ciudades/bidet-h ... X.amp.html
apparently we use it backwards, you're supposed to have the faucet in front of you!
also it was invented for french whores to clean up after sex

Super Aggro Crag · Thu Oct 11, 2018 7:21 pm

Having difficulty understanding other people's experiences are seperate from your own is a sympton of autism
Grazyn is literally aspergin' about ass-purgers

Grazyn · Post by **Grazyn** » Thu Oct 11, 2018 7:27 pm #444750

SaveVatznick wrote:
Grazyn wrote:
iksyp wrote: "this bidet is not a bidet because i do not like it"
lol
also i don't think anyone's said "tp is superior in cleaning power" unless im mistaken but not searching 7 pages of ass blastery
You can attach a tube to the toilet, make it spray dirty water on your ass and call it a bidet but it doesn't make it a bidet. The thing in the image is the rightful heir to the historical bidet.
Are you trying to sell us something? Are you a bidet salesman over in buttsniffistan trying to grow a new market in the US, Grazyn?

lol you Americans are hopelessly lost. You live in a world of ads and corporate culture and you can't even take a piece of honest advice without thinking "HMMM this guy is trying to SELL me something! But I'm too SMART for him!"
Meanwhile, some random Russian makes up a story about Hillary Clinton being the kingpin of a worldwide paedophile ring and you immediately believe it with unbreakable faith.

SaveVatznick · Thu Oct 11, 2018 7:39 pm

Grazyn wrote:
SaveVatznick wrote:
Grazyn wrote:
iksyp wrote: "this bidet is not a bidet because i do not like it"
lol
also i don't think anyone's said "tp is superior in cleaning power" unless im mistaken but not searching 7 pages of ass blastery
You can attach a tube to the toilet, make it spray dirty water on your ass and call it a bidet but it doesn't make it a bidet. The thing in the image is the rightful heir to the historical bidet.
Are you trying to sell us something? Are you a bidet salesman over in buttsniffistan trying to grow a new market in the US, Grazyn?
lol you Americans are hopelessly lost. You live in a world of ads and corporate culture and you can't even take a piece of honest advice without thinking "HMMM this guy is trying to SELL me something! But I'm too SMART for him!"
Meanwhile, some random Russian makes up a story about Hillary Clinton being the kingpin of a worldwide paedophile ring and you immediately believe it with unbreakable faith.

Woah the definition of Buttstrated, how the Bideter explodes in rage when others do not clean their anuses as he prefers!

Yes I am so bigbrained in my funposting that I send foreign water-based anal rape machine salesmen spiralling into tantrums about the American zeitgeist and conspiracy theories about conspiracy theories. Nice try you PAID GLOBALIST SHILL.

In all honesty, you may be a bit of a hypochondriac, friendo. Go out, drink some milk, eat a peanut butter sandwich on white bread, pet a dog, get stung by a bee. Enjoy yourself.

Malkevin · Post by **Malkevin** » Thu Oct 11, 2018 7:40 pm #444754

Deitus wrote:
Nabski wrote:
Timbrewolf wrote:
Deitus wrote:i unironically only poop every 2-3 days tbh, yeah they're big but ive been doing this for as long as i can remember and ive never had any health issues
just mental health issues ayy gottem
What the fuck are you eating that you only poop every 2-3 days. Boy get some fiber in ya.
i actually eat a lot, usually my meals are
>breakfast
scrambled eggs with cheese, a glass of chocolate milk, a muffin, and a bowl of yogurt with lots of blueberries and granola
>lunch
maybe a snack if im hungry, usually dont eat lunch
>dinner
whatever is in the cafeteria (usually a sandwich or some chicken or other meats), a salad with peas, corn, dressing, and croutons, the same bowl of yogurt/blueberries/granola, a glass of apple juice, and a small desert of like a cookie or something.

also some late-night snacks if im hungry.
still only need to shit every other day at minimum.

That's a lot of dairy and bread, no wonder you're full of shit.

IkeTG · Post by **IkeTG** » Thu Oct 11, 2018 8:20 pm #444760

wubli wrote:how can people not have them?

Most of the bathrooms in the US aren't big enough by code to have extra bidets, so they're seen as mostly a luxury, or an unnecessary plumbing installation. This leads to them not being standardized enough to be added to bathrooms when a house is built.

Most people aren't convinced enough to add an entire plumbing installation to their house they they think is unnecessary, so this leads to bidets being incredibly uncommon.

FantasticFwoosh · Thu Oct 11, 2018 9:26 pm

CosmicScientist wrote:Care to give the UK some land for toilet space or even bedroom space?

We're not German, we won't ask for living room space.

We have Hull, it's sorted.

wubli · Post by **wubli** » Thu Oct 11, 2018 9:41 pm #444780

i think the thingie that you attach to the toilet that works like a bidet is better than nothing tbh, my ex had one of those and while it wasn't as powerful as a bidet it did its job

bidets are good

Grazyn · Post by **Grazyn** » Thu Oct 11, 2018 10:09 pm #444787

wubli wrote:i think the thingie that you attach to the toilet that works like a bidet is better than nothing tbh, my ex had one of those and while it wasn't as powerful as a bidet it did its job

bidets are good

But it's only a blast of water, isn't it? Do you use soap with it? Looks kinda uncomfortable

wubli · Post by **wubli** » Thu Oct 11, 2018 10:19 pm #444793

i don't think i ever needed to use it for anything than just blood so i didn't use soap, not good for your bloody theme park

ThanatosRa · Post by **ThanatosRa** » Thu Oct 11, 2018 10:19 pm #444795

barbarians

Grazyn · Post by **Grazyn** » Thu Oct 11, 2018 10:30 pm #444797

wubli wrote:i don't think i ever needed to use it for anything than just blood so i didn't use soap, not good for your bloody theme park

what the fuck, the entire point of a bidet is to make it easier to wash your ass with soap, why even use a bidet if you're just spraying water on your ass, why even WASTE money and water and power for something like that if you're not gonna use it the proper way

I feel like I'm taking crazy pills

Ok alright here's how you're supposed to use a bidet, the one in the previous image (the toilet sprayer abomination doesn't exists):
you straddle it FACING the faucet
wash your ass with SOAP
rinse it with running water
wash hands
repeat with genital area
stand up and dry with your ass towel
remember to not use your ass towel for other parts of your body (felt I needed to include this given the amount of rampant american idiocy in this thread)

wubli · Post by **wubli** » Thu Oct 11, 2018 10:35 pm #444798

i was talking about the one in my ex's house do not attack your only ally wtf

Grazyn · Post by **Grazyn** » Thu Oct 11, 2018 10:37 pm #444799

I'm angry about bidets

Malkevin · Post by **Malkevin** » Thu Oct 11, 2018 10:53 pm #444801

Eww, Grazyn touches his shitty crack.

Must be all that Moslem DNA from their rape-raids.

SaveVatznick · Thu Oct 11, 2018 11:11 pm

Grazyn wrote: stand up and dry with your ass towel

ASS TOWEL
AHAHAHAHAHA

Grazyn · Post by **Grazyn** » Thu Oct 11, 2018 11:22 pm #444807

Yep, not surprised you Americans don't even have an ass towel.

And really, bringing DNA into this? Oh yes, the notorious genetic purity of US citizens

Super Aggro Crag · Thu Oct 11, 2018 11:22 pm

Grazyn is a wannabe american

obscolene · Post by **obscolene** » Thu Oct 11, 2018 11:26 pm #444812

DESIGNATED

ASS

TOWELS

GarlicBread · Post by **GarlicBread** » Fri Oct 12, 2018 2:22 am #444842

This truly is the thread that keeps on giving

CreationPro · Post by **CreationPro** » Fri Oct 12, 2018 2:47 am #444852

don't trust something that bleeds for five days and doesn't die

also grazyn is great at baiting, this thread is still going

not quite sticky vegan thread tier but we are getting there

Deitus · Post by **Deitus** » Fri Oct 12, 2018 4:14 am #444867

Grazyn wrote: what the fuck, the entire point of a bidet is to make it easier to wash your ass with soap, why even use a bidet if you're just spraying water on your ass, why even WASTE money and water and power for something like that if you're not gonna use it the proper way

I feel like I'm taking crazy pills

Ok alright here's how you're supposed to use a bidet, the one in the previous image (the toilet sprayer abomination doesn't exists):
you straddle it FACING the faucet
wash your ass with SOAP
rinse it with running water
wash hands
repeat with genital area
stand up and dry with your ass towel
remember to not use your ass towel for other parts of your body (felt I needed to include this given the amount of rampant american idiocy in this thread)

Grazyn wrote: stand up and dry with your ass towel

Grazyn wrote: ass towel

S C R E A M I N G
C
R
E
A
M
I
N
G

FUCKIN BONUS POINTS FOR
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>USING SOAP ON YOUR ASS
holy shit i dont even care if this is bait anymore i havent laughed this hard in a longass time

wubli · Post by **wubli** » Fri Oct 12, 2018 4:42 am #444874

ass towels are a thing yeah

nothing but respect for my president

Fri Oct 12, 2018 4:52 am

wubli wrote:ass towels are a thing yeah

nothing but respect for my president

do you just tab out to shitpost in this thread

Grazyn · Post by **Grazyn** » Fri Oct 12, 2018 6:09 am #444880

So if you Americans get bird shit on yourself you just wipe it away with paper and go your merry way, got it.

SaveVatznick · Fri Oct 12, 2018 7:00 am

So you euros shit so volcanically and messily that you need a specialized contraption specifically designed to deal with the remnanta of your leavings?

GarlicBread · Post by **GarlicBread** » Fri Oct 12, 2018 7:27 am #444886

Like nigga just wipe it away hahaha

Grazyn · Post by **Grazyn** » Fri Oct 12, 2018 7:29 am #444887

So you wash your entire body with soap except for the single dirtiest spot, makes perfect sense

wubli · Post by **wubli** » Fri Oct 12, 2018 7:52 am #444889

CitrusGender wrote:
wubli wrote:ass towels are a thing yeah

nothing but respect for my president

do you just tab out to shitpost in this thread

are you going to judge me you fucking bitch yes i did fucking tab out to shitpost in this thread idiot

IkeTG · Post by **IkeTG** » Fri Oct 12, 2018 7:58 am #444891

Grazyn wrote:So you wash your entire body with soap except for the single dirtiest spot, makes perfect sense

hey buddy my asshole's pretty clean thank you very much

IkeTG · Post by **IkeTG** » Fri Oct 12, 2018 8:01 am #444892

IkeTG wrote:
Grazyn wrote:So you wash your entire body with soap except for the single dirtiest spot, makes perfect sense
hey buddy my asshole's pretty clean thank you very much

this is in part due to fibers and proper dieting

and also due to american freedom god bless and good fortune

Post by **oranges** » Fri Oct 12, 2018 8:10 am #444894

I can't tell where the american shitposting ends and their butts begin

Grazyn · Post by **Grazyn** » Fri Oct 12, 2018 8:29 am #444895

Ok let me rephrase it in a way you Americans can understand.

Would you eat an ass that you knew was only wiped with TP, even if it looked squeaky clean?

Deitus · Post by **Deitus** » Fri Oct 12, 2018 8:32 am #444896

Grazyn wrote:Ok let me rephrase it in a way you Americans can understand.

Would you eat an ass that you knew was only wiped with TP, even if it looked squeaky clean?

ass eating is a british invention