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I skulk around at night and dismantle traffic signs in high populated areas. I just walk into movie theaters past the teller, and if they try to stop me I yell at them, and claim I'm going to murder them until they leave me alone, I like watching the poor minimum wage employees suffer 7 hours into their shift. I eat human babies, I love the idea of consuming a life that was snuffed short, It gives me a feeling of immortality. I have skipped every cut scene of every video game I have ever played, including red dead redemption. I have a long mustache that I like to twirl when coming up with evil schemes, I have stolen 7 cars and gone on 9 joyrides, only one of which I was held accountable for.
To any law enforcement agencies, this is a formal confession, and I was of sound mind while writing this, not under the influence of any chemical substances.[