Stories of rage, tears and regret

[Xhagi]

Bottom post of the previous page:

>honk

I was the doctor who gave you the HoP's ID, was a traitor and gave myself all access with it first then just gave it to you because a clown should always have all access.

Ended up stealing my objective (CE's magboots) and the HoS's gun as a bonus. Then Bryce Pax joined as HoS and was obsessed the entire round with finding his gun. They pretty much knew I had it from my gloves and coat but I stashed it elsewhere so they never were able to prove it. Was a good time, sad it didn't work out on your end.

[IcePacks]

i wanted to kill you so badly

[Saegrimr]

>want to get my slip on
>ready up as janitor
>TRAITOR
>awhghgsffuck
>essentially the "hijack the shuttle" objective
>FUCK
>waste some time slipping nerds in front of medbay while I think of a plan
>oh wait janitor closet is right next to atmos, and I know how to flood
>someone immediately calls the shuttle because of a ling fucking around.
FUCK
>emag in and turn off distro for a bit to clear it up
>get ready to flood
>shuttle's already almost here
>fuck it
>jump onto shuttle
>like 30 fuckers on this thing
>wait until mid flight
>drop my cleaner grenades and start eswording everybody
>get like 5 dudes before I go down
>few others die because some idiot was using a flamethrower to try and stop me

fucking shuttle call

[tuypo1]

Jillian Seelig says, "I have a complaint about the viroligist"
Bon Nuit asks, "Ah?"
Bon Nuit says, "Please tell me more."
Jillian Seelig says, "I saw him in the rds office and when i questioned him about it he insisted he was made the rd i wasent just going to belive it without proof when i tried to force him out until he proved it he had me arrested took my id and demoted me"
Bon Nuit says, "Hm. That is a good reason."
Bon Nuit says, "I will note this down and file it for later."
Jillian Seelig says, "Funny thing is rather then demoting me from the rd office he came all the way here"
Bon Nuit says, "Yeah, I thought you were uh..."
Bon Nuit says, "Dead."
Jillian Seelig says, "I really just dont think its fair to demote me for being cautios of somebody saying there the new rd"
Jillian Seelig says, "So did you auctualy make him rd"
Bon Nuit says, "Oh I do agree."
You unbuckle yourself from the chair.
Jillian Seelig says, "Thanks for your time"
Bon Nuit has thrown the head of personnel's rubber stamp.
Bon Nuit asks, "Do you want your access?"
Jillian Seelig says, "Yes please"
Jillian Seelig says, "Shit"
Bon Nuit says, "Gray."
Bon Nuit says, "What're you doing."
Gray Tyde says, "Told you."
HoP Is a Changeling woofs!
You remove the ID from the PDA-Jillian Seelig (Roboticist).
Jillian Seelig says, "I put it in"
Bon Nuit says, "Hey."
Jillian Seelig says, "The console"
Bon Nuit says, "Jillian"
Bon Nuit says, "Look at my dog."
Bon Nuit points to HoP Is a Changeling
Jillian Seelig says, "Yeah i thought that was odd"
Bon Nuit says, "Yeah"
Bon Nuit says, "It is"
Bon Nuit has knocked down Jillian Seelig with the telescopic baton!
Jillian Seelig says, "No idea who did it though"
Bon Nuit fires the energy gun!
Jillian Seelig is hit by a laser in the right leg!
Bon Nuit fires the energy gun!
Jillian Seelig is hit by a laser in the chest!
Bon Nuit fires the energy gun!
Jillian Seelig is hit by a laser in the chest!
Bon Nuit fires the energy gun!
Jillian Seelig is hit by a laser in the chest!
Bon Nuit fires the energy gun!
Jillian Seelig is hit by a laser in the chest!
Bon Nuit fires the energy gun!
Jillian Seelig is hit by a laser in the chest!
Bon Nuit fires the energy gun!
Jillian Seelig is hit by a laser in the chest!
Jillian Seelig says, "Well fuck well played"
Bon Nuit fires the energy gun!
Jillian Seelig is hit by a laser in the chest!
DEAD: Jillian Seelig says, "wow"
Cooper Cooper says, "Gunshots in hop's office"
[Common] Bon Nuit says, "JILLIAN CHANGELING"
Bon Nuit says, "JILLIAN CHANGELING"
[Common] Bon Nuit says, "CRYOSTING"
Bon Nuit says, "CRYOSTING"
Bon Nuit says, "JILLIAN THE ROBOTICIST CHANGELING."
Bon Nuit says, "GET HERE"
Gary Witenfield says, "OPEN THE DOOR"
Bon Nuit says, "I'M COMING"
Bon Nuit says, "I'M OUTSIDE."
DEAD: Garithos Humies says, "And nobody came"
[Common] Edward Uino slurs, "H h'elp"
Bon Nuit says, "FUCKING HELP"
DEAD: Gets-Dat-Disk hisses, "welp luckily getting cloned it seems"
DEAD: Jillian Seelig says, "i loved that the hop made me feel justice was being done before he robusted me"
Bon Nuit says, "HELP"
Bon Nuit says, "GIB THE LING"
Gary Witenfield says, "CmO take HoP"
Gary Witenfield says, "To medbay"
Bon Nuit says, "I NEED"
Bon Nuit says, "COFFEE"
Bon Nuit says, "GIVE ME COFFEE"
[Common] Automated Announcement System coldly states, "Viktor Kalmar has signed up as Station Engineer"
[Common] Gray Tyde asks, "Is Jillian Seelig still on the station?"

i cant be very mad at having died though i got to see the rare hop doing his job of handeling workplace disputes and got to have him on my side

[Tornadium]

>Fluke Ops
>Take out T-Comms
>Rush bridge kill a whole bunch of crew
>Captain retreats to brig
>Make entrance at brig maint, kill HoS, Warden, HoP and most of security completely cutting off the fully stocked Armory
>No possible way we can lose at this point
>Brig explodes
>3 Ops dead, 1 in Crit

Fucking ligger op decided to drop a bomb down in the middle of a firefight in courtroom and warned us over the radio.

In the middle of a massive firefight.

Also told us to get out of the armory for some fucking reason when the bomb was in the corner of courtroom.

I don't even fucking know fuck that guy.

[Not-Dorsidarf]

>Fluke Ops
>Take out T-Comms
>Rush bridge kill a whole bunch of crew
>Captain retreats to brig
>Make entrance at brig maint, kill HoS, Warden, HoP and most of security completely cutting off the fully stocked Armory
>No possible way we can lose at this point
>Brig explodes
>3 Ops dead, 1 in Crit

Fucking ligger op decided to drop a bomb down in the middle of a firefight in courtroom and warned us over the radio.

In the middle of a massive firefight.

Why can nukers be lizards?
Also told us to get out of the armory for some fucking reason when the bomb was in the corner of courtroom.

I don't even fucking know fuck that guy.

[TheNightingale]

So you were warned that there was a bomb in the courtroom... and stayed anyway? Makes sense.

[Xhuis]

>chemist
>cultist
>sacrifice the warden, summon nar-sie
>make my meme syringes and Set up a teleport rune in patient rooms disguised as crayon
>make a teleport talisman in case of emergency and then stash it
>get a headcount of the other cultists
>wander medbay maint for converts
>wander into incinerator, two atmos techs
>one is a cultist
>"hey abigail"
>walk up to other atmos tech
>syringe
>convert
>smooth as fuck
>wander to arrivals
>convert tim ebow
>hear someone mentioning over common that there's a crayon rune he can't erase
>shit that's my teleport rune
>skedaddle to patient rooms and he's look at it confused
>floor tile is on top of it, plating beneath
>"I tried removing it"
>"Go get some cleaner"
>wait until he's gone and erase the rune, then slap the floor tile back on
>mission accomplished
>decide to astral journey
>chaplain is in the brig and security is discreetly getting water tanks
>they suspect us
>wind up in dorms
>lawyer is healing himself
>stunpaper, cablecuff
>doctor shows up
>shit.jpg
>fire a syringe, it misses
>quickly load another and fire again
>i don't miss
>tome the doctor to death after removing the lawyer's headset, bring them both to cabin 2
>get another cultismer and convert the lawyer
>walk out of the dorm room
>a ton of cultists were waiting outside
>emily ranger shows up
>sec officer
>throws a flashbang
>dodge out of the way and see the officer slapping cuffs on tim ebow
>syringe them, they stumble a few step and collapse
>start toming them to death
>security charges in
>jump into the cabin again and bolt it
>two cultists make it in with me
>mass sounds of combat outside
>quickly shard emily and draw a teleport rune with the patient rooms keyword
>"GO GO GO"
>they jump through
>snatch some of emily's more useful
>wait for a little while, unbolt and open
>ENTIRE SECURITY FORCE WITH TASERS DRAWN
>two flashbangs sail into the room along with countless electrodes
>shit.jpg
>quickly use my teleport talisman and pray to god it teleports me to the right rune
>it worked!
>the other cultists that escaped are wandering around, i let them out
>i am a wanted fugitive
>duck into chapel maintenance and set up a surveillance outpost
>have adam pryex make me a construct shell after i make a second shard like a cuck
>time for a M A N I F E S T R U S H
>pinpoint the warden's location with astral communion
>set up my area, wall runes on both entrances to the outpost
>make a ton of armor runes, a manifest rune, and a drain life rune for sustaining myself
>get two ghosts, have them armor up, open the door with their id and let them unleash hell
>astral communion
>they're both stunned and cuffed
>step off, heal up with another ghost, try again
>same issue, they get caught
>wander into the security office to check on sec
>warden sees me and gives chase with an autorifle
>ALONE
>pop a syringe at the warden
>he goes down without a sound or shot fired
>start dragging him away
>door opens and i see the hos
>quickly invoke the wall rune next to the door
>drag the warden into plain sight
>"IT'S TOO LATE, YOUR PATHETIC WARDEN IS THE GEOMETER'S NOW"
>manifest a ghost and use the artificer to sacrifice the warden
>book it away while sec watches in despair
>hide in chapel maint
>"WE'RE SUMMONING NAR-SIE"
>"that's not our objective dumbass"
>what
>check objectives
>escape with 6 cultists
>...oh
>ok
>shuttle has been called around the time of the manifest rush, almost docked because of red alert
>find a cuck wandering maint with an autorifle, stunpaper and shard him
>make him into a juggernaut
>use an armor rune
>get my autorifle and eldritch longsword ready
>shuttle docks
>"STORM THE SHUTTLE! NO SURVIVORS!"
>rush through the chapel
>open the doors and charge into escape with my constructs
>game freezes
>no
>NO
>start mashing keys
>connection failed
>mfw sybil goes down as i'm about to rush the shuttle

[Malkevin]

>People not knowing what happens when you try to summon narsie without her being an objective

[AnonymousNow]

>Start as CMO
>Even before I've left my office, someone has stolen all the cryo mix.
>Fucksakes.
>When I'm looking over the cryo tubes, a medical doctor drinks two bottles of morphine. They continue to do this throughout the entire round.
>Fucksakes.
>The virologist runs into medbay dragging a bomb behind him, only by the skin of my teeth do I - and another doctor - manage to knock him down.
>Fucksakes.
>I get the bomb spaced out of the mass driver just in time, plenty of witnesses to this event
>I head back to medbay to find the virologist nowhere to be seen, and security beating up the doctor who helped, who is buckled to a chair.
>Fucksakes.
>Berate them and tell them, exactly, in no uncertain terms, that the doctor they're beating up is not the bomber, and that the virologist IS the bomber, and has got away from them because of their incompetence
>I see my pockets being fiddled with just in time for me to violently explode, luckily survive, limping away slowly
>Fucksakes.
>Less than ten seconds after the explosion, me heavily burned and deaf, a security officer arrests me next to the breach.
>Fucksakes.
>Berate them some more. Find out that the virologist told them that a guy in a blue Winter coat was the bomber AND WE'D BETTER TRUST THE WORD OF ONE SHIFTY GUY AGAINST TWO PEOPLE, ONE OF WHICH IS A HEAD OF STAFF WHO JUST SURVIVED AN ASSASSINATION ATTEMPT, AMIRITE
>Fucksakes.
>Wander back into medbay and promptly get killed by a rogue cyborg, with my stuff stripped off my corpse in maintenance.
>Fucksakes.
>Cloned, somehow, with cryo mix that mysteriously reappeared. Limp around trying to find my ID so I can get myself a fucking mannitol tablet
>Can't even get into maintenance.
>Fucksakes.
>Wander out of medbay and promptly killed again. By another rogue cyborg, and his three changeling buddies.
>Fucksakes.
>As a bunch of us asked Kor to press buttons including Deathsquad and/or ERT, he presses three false alarms and then makes one swarmer, which doesn't know how to dismantle things.
>Fucksakes.
>I tell Kor this, and instead of a little nudge he forces me into a swarmer body there and then to tell this guy.
>Fucksakes.
>Wouldn't be so bad, only five minutes later I find out that there WAS an ERT, which I would've vastly preferred.
>Fucksakes.

Probably the worst round I've had this year.

EDIT: Managed to miss a fucksakes.

[Cuboos]

>Fucksakes.*1,000,000

I've had rounds like this before, this isn't won't be the only one.

Also, i've noticed Security acting like that a lot lately. I don't know if it's just me, but sec sure seems a lot more incompetent lately than they use to be. I've seen known antags literally dance around them without so much as a check just to make sure, even after several people have said, "so and so is a fucking antag". I've been ignored several times after escaping death from an antag, only to then be arrested for defending myself.

[Tornadium]

So you were warned that there was a bomb in the courtroom... and stayed anyway? Makes sense.

We were warned in the middle of a massive firefight with 10+ participants.

You know where the chat gets spammed with combat text?

Where you're more focused on dodging and fighting than checking to see if some idiot chuckelfuck is about to bomb the entire team?

He said get out of the Armory anyway which would have led me to believe he was bombing armory, not fucking courtroom.

[bandit]

>Start as CMO
>Even before I've left my office, someone has stolen all the cryo mix.
>Fucksakes.
>When I'm looking over the cryo tubes, a medical doctor drinks two bottles of morphine. They continue to do this throughout the entire round.
>Fucksakes.
>The virologist runs into medbay dragging a bomb behind him, only by the skin of my teeth do I - and another doctor - manage to knock him down.
>Fucksakes.
>I get the bomb spaced out of the mass driver just in time, plenty of witnesses to this event
>I head back to medbay to find the virologist nowhere to be seen, and security beating up the doctor who helped, who is buckled to a chair.
>Fucksakes.
>Berate them and tell them, exactly, in no uncertain terms, that the doctor they're beating up is not the bomber, and that the virologist IS the bomber, and has got away from them because of their incompetence
>I see my pockets being fiddled with just in time for me to violently explode, luckily survive, limping away slowly
>Fucksakes.
>Less than ten seconds after the explosion, me heavily burned and deaf, a security officer arrests me next to the breach.
>Fucksakes.
>Berate them some more. Find out that the virologist told them that a guy in a blue Winter coat was the bomber AND WE'D BETTER TRUST THE WORD OF ONE SHIFTY GUY AGAINST TWO PEOPLE, ONE OF WHICH IS A HEAD OF STAFF WHO JUST SURVIVED AN ASSASSINATION ATTEMPT, AMIRITE
>Fucksakes.
>Wander back into medbay and promptly get killed by a rogue cyborg, with my stuff stripped off my corpse in maintenance.
>Fucksakes.
>Cloned, somehow, with cryo mix that mysteriously reappeared. Limp around trying to find my ID so I can get myself a fucking mannitol tablet
>Can't even get into maintenance.
>Fucksakes.
>Wander out of medbay and promptly killed again. By another rogue cyborg, and his three changeling buddies.
>Fucksakes.
>As a bunch of us asked Kor to press buttons including Deathsquad and/or ERT, he presses three false alarms and then makes one swarmer, which doesn't know how to dismantle things.
>Fucksakes.
>I tell Kor this, and instead of a little nudge he forces me into a swarmer body there and then to tell this guy.
>Fucksakes.
>Wouldn't be so bad, only five minutes later I find out that there WAS an ERT, which I would've vastly preferred.
>Fucksakes.

Probably the worst round I've had this year.

EDIT: Managed to miss a fucksakes.

Welcome to Space Station 13.

Fucksakes.

[ShadowDimentio]

Whenever there's an unstable amount of autism on the station, I just ghost instead of trying to play through it. Better to watch and laugh than suffer.

[EndgamerAzari]

Whenever there's an unstable amount of autism on the station, I just ghost instead of trying to play through it. Better to watch and laugh than suffer.

So you're saying you ghost all the time

[ShadowDimentio]

Whenever there's an unstable amount of autism on the station, I just ghost instead of trying to play through it. Better to watch and laugh than suffer.

So you're saying you ghost all the time

Normal amounts of autism are expected. It's when the important people are all retarded and you need them for something they won't do is when it's time to get the fuck out of dodge

[AnonymousNow]

Normal amounts of autism are expected. It's when the important people are all retarded and you need them for something they won't do is when it's time to get the fuck out of dodge

Can't (read: shouldn't) ghost as a head of staff, though.

[Not-Dorsidarf]

Normal amounts of autism are expected. It's when the important people are all retarded and you need them for something they won't do is when it's time to get the fuck out of dodge

Can't (read: shouldn't) ghost as a head of staff, though.

Sure you can. Just ahelp 'KK im gonna ghost now they're getting redonks stupid' first, so they can put the deadchat in control of your body.

[Erbbu]

>team ling assimilates the heads
>get all objectives done
>leave on the shuttle
>RD ling had his teleport armor on
>HoP ling tries to help him up after shuttle stun
>RD ling gets spaced.

Rip. Still a fund round, only the ending belongs in this thread really.

[AnonymousNow]

>Start as gang leader in medbay
>Convert a few people
>Convert an assistant with one name (bad idea)
>He promptly runs out of medbay and kills someone in a manner which suggests he wants us to be found out
>About as subtle as running into the corridor and shouting "LOOK, I'M DOING SHIFTY SHIT IN SURGERY!"
>Medbay gets attacked by silent, brainless zombies, and he just goes braindead as I'm being beaten to death next to him.
>Gang nipped in the bud.

I feel as though I'm being consistently screwed over by random factors/arseholes whenever I want to try to do something important.

[Erbbu]

I have gang and rev leader toggled off for similar reasons.

[Amelius]

Just happened.

> Dreamstation.
> You are the assis-nope, Oldman Robustin converts me to his gang after a brief conversation about how the layout is the height of insanity and how we wished we were on Box.
> For once I was with a rank-and-file gangster, the final promotion he had to offer was between myself and Mike Smellings or something to that effect, and I passed on it.
> Go through two cans of spraypaint and help in a few conversions.
> Discover after holding a secguard in maint and PDAing the leaders for responses that, over this short period, Hurricane YOLOd at some point and died offscreen. Oldman, the boss, killed himsef in maint on one of the thousands of wires by accident (holy fuck Dreamstation why). Mike died in a large-scale shootout along with 4 fellow gangsters, ostensibly to take out the early Omni dom attempt.
> All alone.
> Use the AI to locate two of three of the heads. Find Oldman in genetics, and ensure he's cloned and up to snuff, take out an officer that was going to knock him off along with the geneticist, netting us precious resources.
> Slowly rebuild our power base in medbay. Start cloning those that died in the shootout. Make myself some lube just in case.
> Omni tries to dom in atmospherics with their few remaining men.
> I have no idea where atmospherics is, let alone engineering.
> Ask the AI for directions.
> Run aimlessly.
> Eventually find engineering.
> Run around in circles near engineering searching for atmosia.
> Finally find atmos and hack in. Atmos tech with an uzi waiting in a locker dead straight ahead, four-five tiles off.
> Dodge much of the first barrage, he repositions downward to get a better angle on me.
> I deploy tactical lube. I go into the doorway, spray diagonally so he's cornered. I move backwards and he falls for the bait and slips himself (even if he didn't, he'd be stuck in the corner and I'd be able to take taser potshots at him without him being able to risk a move.
> Door closes. FUCK, re-hack the door, coast is clear, probably retreated to the dom.
> Ride the lube to the south end after picking up his uzi.
> Start welding my way into the dominator.
> He comes around from the west side.
> I hesitate.
> He slips.
> I hastily finish deconning the wall.
> Start shooting at it with his uzi.
> Completes domination the bullet or two before I kill it.

WRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! I SHOULDN'T HAVE HESITATED!

[bandit]

>Meme mime
>Find the body of a suicided assistant that for once didn't use the emergency tank
>Get an idea!
>Build a meatspike by the bridge, start spiking the assistant
>WILD DETECTIVE APPEARS!
>Get shot at, sax
>Sax more
>Lots and lots of saxing
>Finally stop saxing, PDA the detective that it's a suicide and to fuck off
>Never see the detective again
>Miming my own business when WILD SECURITY OFFICER APPEARS
>Arrests me
>Takes me to perma, ignores frantic pantomime
>Apparently the defective left a note on my record for murder
>I'm in perma for meatspiking a suicide
>Write "SHITCURITY HAS THROWN ME IN PERMA FOR PUTTING A SUICIDAL ASSISTANT, THAT YOU CAN EXAMINE AND SEE IS A SUICIDE, ONTO A MEATSPIKE. LAW 2, ANNOUNCE THIS TO THE CREW VERBATIM" on a sheet of paper and hold it up to the camera
>I can hear the radio and there ain't no fucking AI announcement
>Do this a few more times, nothing
>Go to the holopad and try there
>Wild AI appears
>AI IS FUCKING PURGED
>AI tells me to be polite and maybe it'll let me out
>Write groveling bullshit on paper, hold it up to the camera
>AI still doesn't give a fuck
>HoS comes in with another prisoner, I frantically point at the aforementioned paper
>HoS doesn't even look at it
>Captain Emily Ranger comes in, starts tazing up security and lets me free with her spare ID
>I make it maybe two rooms until security arrests me again
>Try via hands-free pantomime to get across the concept that the captain let me free, it doesn't work and Emily isn't talking either
>Five minutes later, finally get someone to free me, and commit suicide out of rage and salt
>In all that time, STILL no one examined the fucking body

[Qbopper]

So I was a nuke op for like, my second time ever just now

No plan, just decided to buy a borg and guns and murderbone - so we make out way from the southeast, get to the bridge and drop a few guys, all well and good - I managed to even kill the captain and some other people, and I secured the disk. Felt pretty great about myself, especially since I'm not exactly robust. So I start to make my way back through the maint tunnels (and pass by a fuckin' xeno oh boy) - I was dragging an op who passed out from wounds, and I enabled my jetpack, only to promptly fucking get lost in space. Then the op died and gibbed, making me deaf - and then my fucking jetpack ran out of fuel.

Oh, and I didn't know about the disk teleporting back to the station. So... yeah. It did that.

Anyways I manage to get back to the solars, when a fucking engineer stunprods me - and himself. I recover first but don't manage to kill him as I used up all my ammo in the bridge firefight, and then he stuns me and tries to cuff me, so I gib.

All in all for a newbie to ops I think I did okay, but... fuck. I wasn't mad about losing, I just feel like a piece of shit for fucking up for the other ops. Sorry guys :/

[EndgamerAzari]

>Start as chemist
>Clown and mime sneak into medbay, start slipping people and fucking around with cryo, wasting the mix I put in there
>Get slipped, losing the carefully prepared beaker I was carrying
>Attempt to knock clown's teeth in with an emergency tank
>Later, clown breaks into chem lab
>Flushes me down disposal
>Security lets me out, converts me to gang under pretense of searching me
"Shit yes, now I can legitimately murder those fucking jokers--"
>Clown is also in the gang
Fuck

[ShadowDimentio]

>be clown
>rev head
>ayy
>attempt to meme the mime
>fucker bails from the room before I can even take out my flash
>ohokay.jpg
>go into medbay
>jack the spray bottle
>time to slip some bitches
>slip some bitches
>slowly but surely building up the meme team
>even eventually get the mime
>they're all scattered though
>memeing about, griffing, gearing up and the like
>security still looms as a threat but haven't murderbonemode'd yet
>every so often I see an officer wandering the halls
>they always escape before I can meme them
>eventually I run into the latejoin RD
>honk him
>space his corpse
>realize afterwords that the borgs are still a threat
>didn't jack his stuff
>curse existence
>continue wandering the station
>SUDDENLY SECURITY IS POURING OUT OF CARGO
>THEY'RE FUCKING LOADED
>ARE YOU SHITTING ME YOU AUTISTS DIDN'T DEFEND CARGO
>BAIL
>GET DINKED AT THE FAR END OF A HALLWAY BY A STRAY BULLET
>FAIL TO GET ON MY CART IN TIME
>GET FILLED WITH BULLETS AND DRAGGED TO CARGO
>IMPLANT FAILS
>"I'm scared."
>"VIVA LA NANOTRASEN!"

tl;dr guard cargo you autists

[ShadowDimentio]

>be like two seconds ago
>xenobiologist
>just getting started
>chick named Zeela comes in
>she flirts and we chat
>my robust senses are telling me she's going to kill me
>YOU ARE NOW A MEMBER OF DELTA GANG
>as expected
>she tells me to do my job
>i do my job awesomely as always
>take a break before long to help her cuck an enemy ganger in science
>cuck them, together
>get back to work
>round is passing me by but I'm making progress
>get ceruleans, purples, dark purples, and, at last, adamantines
>yee boys
>load up with like twenty cores
>she had died and the gang was losing ground but then got cloned and they overtook the station
>we ready to dom
>they say to dom in perma
>try to go to perma
>scared I'm going to get murdered on the way there
>don't
>arrive and find it bolted shut
>ai is subverted I guess
>pull a PDA off of one of the many security corpses laying around
>find a way in
>perma is totally locked down
>get nearly killed on a shocked door
>goddamn AI
>go to armory
>find a few gang bros
>decide now is the time
>deploy the golems
>the golems all start killing themselves on the doors and grilles and making a huge shitting mess
>still no dom
>tell these chucklefucks to promote me or dom
>they refuse to listen
>shuttle is called
>nobody uses their device to recall
>it arrives
>i'm still stuck in golem hell
>it leaves as I'm trying to get to the shuttle but the fucking station is bombed to shit
>shout obscenities at the screen as I get redtext when we had practically won

tl;dr golem hell

[confused rock]

>first time as ninja
>station has a problem with an alien, I want to capture one for the point things
>find a locker with bodies, bring it to escape and show it to some guys who were there
>random sec comes out of nowhere and tried to valid me with an auto rifle, no idea what I am doing so almost die
>in medbay talk with some guys and get healed
>validhunter fills me with morphine, after I gib and he gets hurt he says it was his victory because he got his valids

[bandit]

>Girl mime
>Miming my own business
>Suddenly a new mime appears on the station!
>Propose to this new male mime
>He accepts!
>We go to the chapel
>Empty
>I PDA the AI to announce we are getting married
>AI: UNHOLY UNION OF MIMES IN CHAPEL, PLEASE PREVENT
>People show up anyway
>The chaplain gives us a full mime wedding, complete with nodded vows, hushing the crowd, emoted hugs, and a celebration at the bar
>Pray to admins to make the emergency shuttle, which is on its way due to cultism, a mime honeymoon suite
>They agree!
>Cult murders everyone, including mimes, before we ever get to see it
>We die a square away from each other

[Zilenan91]

I remember that round. I ordered a stupid amount of laser guns for sec and got a medal for it.

[InsaneHyena]

> Priority high to clown, time to GRIF-
> NOPE, NUKE OPS
> WAR BOYS
> Is this some MGS reference?
> Shit, this is my first nuclear operative, I will fuck up somehow.
> Actually, three operatives are new. We're utterly fucked.
> We spend first ten minutes trying to figure out who wants what.
> Suggest mech memes, get shut down.
> I ask for a revolver, can kindly explained that we get shotguns for free.
> Ask for emag and esword, get them.
> Finally, we go to the station, I forget to put my jetpack on, then I forget to fill it to the brim.
> Uh, where did all the ops go?
> Can't find any of them.
> "NUCLEAR OPS"
> Ah, they are already on the station.
> Get inside, shoot the chaplain with a taser round, esword him. Really proud of myself.
> Try to find the fukken disk, eventually pinpointer leads me to the maint, where it's just laying around like a piece of forgotten trash.
> "I got the disk, what now?"
> "Arm the bomb, get it on station"
> Armed the bomb, get it to virology. We take our sweet time figuring out how to make it blow up.
> Come back to shuttle immediately after arming it. Somehow, everyone but me and another operative die or some shit, so two of us are the only ones on the shuttle.
> "Well, for my first mission, I did okay."
> "Yeah, me too."
> The bomb blows.
> Wait.
> Fuck.
> I forgot to launch the shuttle.
> Everyone is dead, Dave.

[Xhuis]

>traitor clown
>steal documents of any organization
>trade 5 tc and make my bike horn do 15 damage
>random assistant starts fighting me in the halls
>slip him, horn him into crit, and heal him back up after saying "GOOD FIGHT"
>go into dorms and buy an uplink implant
>buy storage implant with uplink implant and grab a c4 brick
>leave dorm room
>immediately tased and handcuffed by duke stardust
>searched and they find nothing
>hos brings in my locker full of traitor shit
>cue extremely long ordeal where i adminhelp and am told i cannot be helped because setting people to arrest isn't logged and my implants are surgically removed
>go into perma
>a few minutes later
>see miner outside of the window
>say the code words
>he leaves
>a few minutes later he comes back with internals and a space suit
>two other traitors in perma by now
>a bomb goes off in the brig
>we have space suits
>we all arm up
>threaten sec over their radio, head into the hallway
>detective shoots at me once with a revolver
>the bullet goes through my shield
>the bullet goes through my armor
>rng makes me fall over
>subsequently killed

outed by a metagaming assistant who attacked me 4nr and then killed by rng.

[Steelpoint]

Normal Riot Shields have a 50% block rate with bullets.

Armour does not stop stunning from revolver rounds, it simply reduces damage by around 15% to whatever% Kor nerfed the armour to.

Also again, a single hit from the Detective's Revolver is a one hit stun.

[Zilenan91]

How did the HoS know you have an implant in you? Did they literally just do the surgery for no reason?

[Xhuis]

How did the HoS know you have an implant in you? Did they literally just do the surgery for no reason?

The boxes were found in my personal locker and the lawyer (Thomas "Emagrewop" Laser) told him to do surgery on me.

[Zilenan91]

Oh yeah if you didn't fold the boxes then that's on you.

[bandit]

>Shaft miner
>NOPE YOU ARE A TRAITOR
>Fuck that noise
>Start mining, it's asteroid station so shit is crazy close
>Find a facehugger like 10 minutes in
>an idea hits me
>Bring the facehugger onto the station but don't weld the locker
>Retard bait
>THE MIME TAKES THE BAIT!
>HE CAN'T EVEN TALK
>THIS IS PERFECT
>Run around like a moron looking for a to weld the mime in because apparently Asteroid doesn't give miners one in their base
>In this time the mime wakes up and starts running to medbay
>I chase him
>Mime gets taken into surgery by two doctors, I tailgate
>Interfere with surgery as much as I can but it's not working
>Open uplink, buy 2 sleepypens, stab both doctors
>Doctors pass out
>Buy e-bow, try to subdue the meme but the nerfed-to-shit ebow is no match for the mime and his disarming powers
>CMO comes in and helps the mime circular saw and drill me to death
>CMO: "What happened in here?"
>Mime immediately bursts, right next to the vent, as planned
>THE FUCKING LARVA JUST SITS THERE FOR THE CMO TO KILL IT

tl;dr: wasted entire tator round on xenos that never happened

[ShadowDimentio]

>Shaft miner
>NOPE YOU ARE A TRAITOR
>Fuck that noise
>Start mining, it's asteroid station so shit is crazy close
>Find a facehugger like 10 minutes in
>an idea hits me
>Bring the facehugger onto the station but don't weld the locker
>Retard bait
>THE MIME TAKES THE BAIT!
>HE CAN'T EVEN TALK
>THIS IS PERFECT
>Run around like a moron looking for a to weld the mime in because apparently Asteroid doesn't give miners one in their base
>In this time the mime wakes up and starts running to medbay
>I chase him
>Mime gets taken into surgery by two doctors, I tailgate
>Interfere with surgery as much as I can but it's not working
>Open uplink, buy 2 sleepypens, stab both doctors
>Doctors pass out
>Buy e-bow, try to subdue the meme but the nerfed-to-shit ebow is no match for the mime and his disarming powers
>CMO comes in and helps the mime circular saw and drill me to death
>CMO: "What happened in here?"
>Mime immediately bursts, right next to the vent, as planned
>THE FUCKING LARVA JUST SITS THERE FOR THE CMO TO KILL IT

tl;dr: wasted entire tator round on xenos that never happened

>be that mime
>was memeing around with insuls and a toolbelt stealing stuff
>see a hardsuit dragging a locker
>prime opportunity to steal whatever they have
>open it
>alien
>think it's a toy, examine it, it isn't
>move and get hugged
>god I'm dumb
>get lockered and dragged back into mining
>figure if the miner's trying to have me pop they're valid salad
>bail out of mining and run to medbay
>miner is following yelling that they're trying to help
>mostly ignore them and run into the CMO in the hall
>they see I'm infected and we all go to medbay
>the doctors there see too and two of them, me, and the miner go into surgery together
>start hallucinating for some reason
>strip all my stuff off
>doctors put me on the table but the miner keeps fucking with them
>the doctors both go comatose on the floor for some reason
>that is IT
>get the saw off the table, attack the miner
>miner gets knocked out at the same time as they shoot me with an ebow
>on so THAT'S their game
>we start tussling in this awful tiny room
>lose the saw
>we're both staring each other down over the table
>get the drill
>start drilling him
>he tries to shoot me again, CLICK CLICK CLICK
>he gets knocked over
>DRILL DRILL DRILL
>dead
>CMO comes in
>"Are you okay"
>pop
>CMO pulls out an egun and lasers the alium dead
>all that effort for nothing

Now the saddest part

>be after the miner DC'd
>Dante and a holoparasite fucking murderboning HARD
>they kill like half the station
>run into a ling
>kill it once, it wakes up, kill it again
>go into maint, strip it, take out an RCD and seal it in a vaccumed room
>enter the core
>parasite just wrecks the turrets
>AI gets carded at the same time they cut on lethals
>looks like things are over
>HE ESCAPES AT LIKE 2 HEALTH
>HEALS TO FULL
>GOES TO ESCAPE
>IT'S PRACTICALLY VACANT, LIKE THREE GUYS AND A CORPSE
>KILLS THE SURVIVORS, OF WHOM WERE ALL ANTAGS THEMSELVES
>RD HAD A PARASITE TOO AND THERE WERE LIKE TWO LINGS
>DANTE AND HIS PARASITE KILL EVERYONE
>ONLY SURVIVOR

FUCKING LEGENDARY

[Cuboos]

> be clown-ling
> oh god i'm no good at ling why do i still have this set?
> objectives: one guy be cap, one guy be HoS, one guy be HoP, kill cap, hos and HoP.
> Also steal six genomes.
> Well fuck, this is gonna end in disaster, like every other ling round.
> walk out of theater.
> cap in is bar, hugging me.
> No one there, cap still hugging me
> Slip, mute, cable-cuff.
>drag to theater maint.
>arm blade to death, absorb.
> space body, it comes back, what ever.
> i am now cap, no one suspects a thing.
> meet up with other lings, pass out all access.
> things going smooth for a while, people find bodies i absorb, think it's a burnt corps and cant identify it.
> a few more husks from other lings are found, people getting suspicious.
> HoS calls me into the bridge meeting room.
> oh fuck...
> Some random fucking engie in a box tries to break in through bridge maint, distracts HoS.
> CE wonders in, HoS berates him for coming in on a private conference that he told no one else about.
> HoS and CE start going at it, CE lasers HoS, HoS manages to get a "CE and Cap are rogue" before dying.
> CE was another changling.
> CE absorbs the HoS
> Berate CE over hive mind about his sloppy work
> spergy engie that was trying to break in sees whole thing, starts shouting, "CE and Cap are changlings, they're eating the HoS REEEEEEE".
> No one believes him
> convince Sec that the engineer was an antag, they believe us.
> well holy shit, it's actually working out.
> decide to hunt for genomes.
> bartender is all alone.
>sneak in from bar maint.
> stun bartender, mute, cuff.
> Somehow botch handcuffing and the bartender still escapes.
> chase him down and dissable him in front of HoP
> oh fuck jig is up.
> cuff him and say, "confirmed changeling, he attacked me with an arm blade"
> HoP buys it...
> wow, really?
> drag him to perma
> start cuffing him in perma, he is very salty now that mute sting has worn off.
> HoS-ling comes up to see what's going on.
> Tell hos through hive mind to take out the HoP since no one else was here.
> Hos kills hop while i absorb bartender.
> Hos gives HoP to the ling that killed spergineer
> shits looking good.
> all objectives are met, get the rest of the genomes by killing a few random people, mostly assistants, and one chemist and scientist.
> we all have our objectives met
> call red alert so shuttle arrives early
> holy shit, it's gonna be my first changeling victor in three years of playing.
> suddenly, Ayyyliums
> get abducted and butt probed, then left on arrivals.
>well that was a little inconvenient, at least the shuttle is almost here
> NOPE
> suddenly explode into plasma
> GOD FUCK
> GOD FUCKING DAMN IT
> GOD FUCKING DAM IT
> GOD FUCKING DAM IT
>GOD FUCKING DAMN IT
> Salty as fuck
> first time a ling round was going good for me.
>fucking aliums right at the last minute.
> i was the captian
> other lings make it onto the shuttle
> the changelings failed because i didn't make it as the captain.
> god
>fucking
> damn
> it.

[Not-Dorsidarf]

Ayyys shouldn't get points for abducting antags.

[Montyblancs]

-words

>Be aforementioned CMO/Ling in both stories
>objectives are to steal cap's laser and kill the AI
>get the laser almost immediately, escape through disposals with nobody knowing
>see a huge fight in surgery with xray vision, notice miner with ebow
>walk in, feign ignorance. Watch the mime beat the shit out of the miner.
>mime 'splodes. Everyone's knocked out, so I just casually shoot the extremely slow alien with the captain's gun.
>take the ebow
>other lings want to raid security
>meet up at courtroom
>'CMO you have brig access right?'
>oh shit, I do.
>walk in. Warden angrily rushes out of his office at the mob that just sauntered in.
>ebow
>entire security force shows up, but they have no idea who's a ling and who's not.
>murder them all
>load up on guns, gonna kill that AI
>thought the other lings were coming, they weren't.
>see the holoparasite traitor breaking in
>'OH HEY BUDDY, LOOKS LIKE WE GOT THE SAME GOALS HERE!'
>murders me
>walls me in, in the freezing hell that is space.
>fuck everything

And now for something completely different.

>traitor chemist, kill random assistant. Boring.
>make spray bottle of lube, foam grenades, and synthflesh patches. Buy dual e-swords, syndie key, and brown shoes, learn early that they don't save you from the hell that is lube.
>meet up with other traitor, have a brief discussion about him bombing comms. Say I can help if needed.
>Emily Ranger overhears, immediately tells everyone like the little shit she is.
>security radio confirms I'm put on arrest
>grab some handcuffs off of some escaped prisoner and don a gasmask for that sweet unsuspicious unknown status.
>wandering about, see the HoS in library with the captain's spare ID. Pretend to run away
>HoS follows me into chapel yelling at me to say something, lube all the tiles to get to me and emote giggling.
>for some fucking reason, the HoS steps on the tile and slips. Cuff em. Hostage!
>detective shows up and slips. e-sword him.
>assistant detective shows up and slips. e-sword him.
>fucking captain shows up and slips. Well, ok. e-sword him.
>run off to solars above chapel. give the hos his headset back and tell him to call for help.
>Sec shows up, first one slips on the entrance and gets the good'ol e-sword.
>Second wises up, primes a flashbang and slips intentionally. I rush over to the corner but still take a mild hit.
>pick the esword back up and start hitting the slipped guard.
>chaplain suddenly rushes in out of nowhere, apparently the lube dried up
>immediately slaps the e-sword out of my hand and kills me with it
>


>get mistakeningly cloned 15 minutes later
>walk on to shuttle casually
>greentext.

[ShadowDimentio]

The only thing that immunizes you from lube is a projector disguise. A chemist with lube, an esword, and a projector is terror incarnate.

>be me
>viroguy
>do viro
>get a regeneration virus in record time, like 10 minutes in
>hand it out like candy in the halls
>try to inject some security guy
>moves away and then tazes me
>"IT'S REGENERATION YOU IDIOT"
>dragged to brig
>jailed
>call the HoS over
>"Your guard is an autist. He just brigged me for giving out regeneration."
>"lol u should have asked him furst"
>they fuck off
>god why do I even bother
>turns out the AI is rogue
>that's classic, get arrested when I couldn't even be antag
>someone broke into armory and is calling everyone in
>gear up
>go to the core
>all the doors in engineering were open strangely
>get in pod
>holy shit it's a bloodbath on the other side
>dead secborg an engi and a medborg is here
>consider killing the medborg on suspicion when I get lit on fire
>what
>medborg attacks me
>fight back
>take a shitload of damage and die really fast
>turns out the engi was rogue and was luring people here to kill?
>that's new

[TheNightingale]

I was the Warden there; you were brought in for forcibly injecting people (and breaking into the Kitchen to inject the Chef, apparently). It's common courtesy to ask people before trying to spread your virus (one of the reasons why sneezing is irritating); your crime itself wasn't a big deal, but calling everyone an autist didn't help your case (ableism is old hat, really).

The Engineer subverted the AI (and had a holoparasite, I think?); I went there to take it down, but suddenly flamethrower holoparasite circular saw. Ah, well.

[Screemonster]

Yeah, if the viro is running around wordlessly injecting people and expecting them to take kindly to that then they can expect to have the crap beaten out of them.

[ShadowDimentio]

; Everyone the virus is regeneration!!

[DrPillzRedux]

>traitor on birdboat
>buy syndi bomb and grenade
>about to detonate bomb with grenade
>borg runs in, grabs it, spaces it
>run into Dante during my run for the borg
>try to hug him
>he pulls a holo out of his ass and kills me

[InsaneHyena]

> Time for an Adolf Hitler meme rou-
> NOPE, nuke ops
> We sit through 20 minutes of figuring out who gets what and who does what.
> Finally get to the station
> Get to the bridge, captain is shitposting in OOC, barely escapes with his life
> Leader tells one of the operatives to blow the wall with C4
> He installs a syndicate bomb instead
> Shit.
> Move to the halls, meet security, a firefight starts
> The bomb blows, the ops are dead.

[ShadowDimentio]

Basically one of the worst rounds I've ever played in

>Scientist
>GANG LEADER
>Aight
>Equip glasses, get ready to stab the first person I see, Zeela the scientist
>Stab fails
>You fucking what
>Did I just fucking run into another head two seconds in
>God damn it
>Grab extinguisher
>Robust her in xenobio as she tries to convert me, and fails
>"HELP"
>Kill her
>AI is bolting the doors and watching me
>Shit gotta bail
>Disposals her and myself
>Wait this thing goes to space right
>Space myself, but recover fast and try to crawl into an airlock
>No access
>Hhhhhh
>Crawl across space up east of science before dying
>Greet Zeela in hell
>She apparently got lucky as shit and landed right next to a window in maint
>Cry
>Time passes
>HOLY SHIT A BORG FOUND ME AND WAS TOO STUPID TO REALIZE WHO I WAS
>Get cloned
>Stab several medbay staff
>Aw ye
>Go to science
>Stab everyone
>Awww ye
>Zeela also got found
>Tell the crew to kill her
>They do, eventually
>See a guard in science
>Try to convert him but he ends up dying after I take him to medbay
>Get shot while there
>Bail, nearly dead
>Mull around in science hoping someone has a medpack
>Get crit from blood loss or something
>Die
>R&D guy is someone I converted and they build a cloner
>RISE FROM YOUR GRAVE
>Gear up again
>Comms have been flickering on and off and shit's getting depressurized
>AI must be rogue
>Call the boys and tell them we're domming in xeno
>Dom in xeno
>Bring a medbot because those things are fucking great
>The crew I have here is awful
>Like two other people and one's naked
>Start losing health
>Touch a door
>ZZZZZZZZZ
>Nearly dead, god damn it
>Go to medbot
>Get crit
>Goddamn AI subverted it
>Die
>SUDDENLY A CHEF
>Chef assaults dom
>Some fucking how the one guy still alive near the dom got locked outside a glass door
>Chef kills the dom with a FUCKING KNIFE
>Eventually the round ends with the enemy gang winning basically by default because my team all got killed presumably by the AI

Welcome to my special hell.

[Cheimon]

As an extra note, the chef had just been cloned and was literally brain damaged. I like to imagine he was thinking "Hurr! Me want shuttle!" and stabbing the dominator with the strength of a true idiot in the hopes that he'd get out of there. Perman Briggs, hero of the station.

[confused rock]

>Chef assaults dom
>Some fucking how the one guy still alive near the dom got locked outside a glass door
>Chef kills the dom with a FUCKING KNIFE
>Eventually the round ends with the enemy gang winning basically by default because my team all got killed presumably by the AI

Welcome to my special hell.

I think that chef was the 1st lieutenant of the winning gang.

[PKPenguin321]

>it's rev, i'm a chemist
>get converted by revhead geneticist
>brew up some strange reagent with omnizine from kitchen's donk pockets + holy water from the generous chaplain
>after spawning 1000 mobs i finally spawn a headslug
>feed my braindead other chemist to it
>it eventually pops into a monkey
>another rev lets me do a brain transplant with them and the monkey
>we're hoping they can become a changeling
>put the brain in the monkey
>strange reagent it back to life
>aaaaand...
>it didn't work

reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee