Stories of rage, tears and regret

[Dibber6]

Bottom post of the previous page:

First round back, it's rev. Forgot they changed how flashes work, tried to flash the RD about 5 times then got dunked.

[Reece]

Join.
>Gooncode.
>Ohno.GIF
> Twenty minutes of screaming, farting, clunky UI and eye strain from lighting.
> God make it stop
> People leaping into space after my Pod from arrivals airlocks.
> STOP.
> slipping on everything from oil to gibs.
> STOP.
> can't see shit through the gloomish darkness of the station that doesn't want to pay for bulbs.

That was an interesting if hellish round.

[IcePacks]

>what the fuck dude i'm just trying to fucking help you play a round that's been so ass-fucked the member is tickling its fucking medulla

Please explain this in English.

picture a pez dispenser with a cock stuck in the bottom and coming out of the dispenser-mouth

every time you try to get candy you get an uncomfortable-looking dick instead

no matter how hard the dispenser bites down, it can't get the cock out of its ass

vomit-fucking is also accurate

[PKPenguin321]

>what the fuck dude i'm just trying to fucking help you play a round that's been so ass-fucked the member is tickling its fucking medulla

Please explain this in English.

picture a pez dispenser with a cock stuck in the bottom and coming out of the dispenser-mouth

every time you try to get candy you get an uncomfortable-looking dick instead

no matter how hard the dispenser bites down, it can't get the cock out of its ass

vomit-fucking is also accurate

You have such a vivid imagination, packs

[FantasticFwoosh]

All the rounds i've either got minerals to spare and no ayy tech

Or ayy tech to spare and no minerals (such as in the case that i am detailing to you)

> Spawn scientists, trot over to R&D see it SORTA looks full, i assume we are overstaffed and wander around a bit considering suiciding in the break room
> Walk around a bit. Suddenly a AWP/Sniper rifle drops at my feet (WIZ CONFIRMED)
> *This is metastation by the way, i walk the halls towards cargo then remember top quality dank counter strike memes with a balaclava so i yaketty sax towards dorms
> SHIT, i get tazed and the powergaming HOS that intercepts me (already has taser and shield out) takes my gun away, parades it a little around sec and i never see it again.
> get to dorms, re-dress up snazzy like agent 47, shave my head and all, i pray for a hitman target or some kind of weapon.
> No response, aww. I lost what i was given git gud noob pretty much, i miss it already. Cosplay ruined.
> My lucks changed? The cap is braindead in the halls with a ayy pistol i run back with it to R&D to find nobody's done any research at all, i spend the next 8 mins getting everything up to pre-minerals because SUPRISE SUPRISE we are HORRENDOUSLY understaffed.
> No minerals all round, the miners decided to validhunt with a medi-gun, despite having a ayy load in the cockpit and my pleading promises of equipping everyone individually with R&D and ayy goods.
> Shuttle is called and no minerals all round. Im fuming but also feeling very defeated and deflated.

I never seem to get both at once. All i want to do is either pimp out the station with new furniture or print off some neat stuff at R&D using my spare materials in my own time ;-; .

I managed to embarrass myself over comms with constant pleading and pushing around, which probably didnt help attitude wise but im my mindset people needed a kick up the ass to get moving. (didnt work obviously)

[ShadowDimentio]

>Want to do xenobio
>In the lab first, grinding the plasma
>Guy comes in and jacks all the cubes
>Ok
>Tell him he's just going to get worked circles around by me because I'm the best, and that's the truth
>He's as smug as he is stupid and doesn't back down
>Make minimal progress because the other guy is an idiot and xenobio with two people is hell
>He keeps trying to get me to leave
>Not a chance
>Wizard shows up
>Bail and hide in a locker as the wizard rampages and eventually leaves
>Find a spear on one of the many corpses
>Get back to work
>Smug guy comes back and tries to throw me out
>Embed him on my spear
>He pulls it out and predictably throws it back at me
>Catch it and embed him again
>He's in crit
>Take him to medbay as the round ends

Pretty annoying but okay round.

>Xenobio again
>Grab the cubes immidiately because I learned my lesson
>Guess who's back back back, back again
>Smug guy's back back back, once again
>He's grinding the bars
>Oh how the tables have turned
>Swipe the beaker once it finishes and tell him to leave
>He grabs the wrench and fights with me over the machines
>Crumble and say that if he REALLY wants to work together we can
>Try to put the machines between us
>He keeps moving them to his side
>Well okay then
>Step out to find the RD
>Can't find them
>Call them up over the headset, smug guy's playing the victim and calling me an asshole
>Stupid you're the one who refused my offer
>RD says he's busy because it's gang
>Fffuck
>Come back in the hopes he's left because there are no monkeys for him
>Find the fridge gone and him KILLING A SLIME
>Lock him in the cell and tell the AI to not let him out
>Call the RD and tell them he just killed a slime in a childish fit of anger
>RD shows up but isn't any help
>Ugh, whatever
>Let smug idiot out
>Confirm the slime is dead
>He leaves, thank fucking god
>Prepare to get to work
>Realize he didn't just kill one slime he killed them both
>God you fucking imbecile
>Plasma them and get to work
>Call the admins and report his shitty behavior
>Get a response but minimal resolution
>Smug idiot comes back in a bit and emotes spitting in my face
>Classy
>Eventually comes back and gives the shittiest half-apology ever and asks to work together
>Are you fucking retarded, no
>They stay anyway and just shit all over my work
>Everything is out of sync
>I keep running out of monkeys because this idiot keeps stealing and wasting them
>He's killing and keeping all the wrong things
>Thirty minutes of suffering and constant berating of him later he's still here
>Virtually no progress made
>I'm losing my shit at this point
>This guy
>Like there's having pride
>And then there's shitting all over yourself and refusing to change out of pride
>This situation is the latter
>I leave xeno when the shuttle is called, this round is suffering
>Get on the shuttle and reflect on my life

Leland Mull you're the worst player I've ever had to deal with.

[bandit]

Leland Mull on the contrary is a national treasure

[Venticular]

>ready up
>I'M LIVING THE DREAM
>goddammit
>spawn as only sec officer
>clown and mime start beating up people around the HoP line
>arrest them both
>HoS starts lasering random people
>"HoS what are you doing"
> HoS comes into sec with a person beating him
>arrest beater
>HoS goes back out
>lasers a guy to death
>"HOS STAHP"
>Captain orders HoS to give a public apology
>HoS does
>no one believes him
>detective throws a minibomb somewhere
>bring him in
>detective has an AI detector
>AI claims HoS subverted him
>(turns out AI was rogue and wanted the HoS to get lynched)
>doors shocked in brig
>get shocked and leave to do something
>come back
>lawyer is dragging warden off, detective is free and going with him
>tase both of them
>cuff lawyer, detective stuns me
>both of us get beaten to death
>turns out detective uncuffed himself and lawyer was dragging warden to medbay
>areyoukidingme.jpg
>rage in deadchat and quit
>eat a snickers

[ThanatosRa]

>clusterfuck

Sounds like a frustratingly hilarious clusterfuck.

[Venticular]

Worst one I've ever seen as me being sec

[ShadowDimentio]

>Be dreamstation
>Be mime
>Traitor
>Holoparasite murderbone time
>Insuls and belt engaged
>Break in sec
>Warden gone
>Grab three tasers and three lasers
>Break in cap's office
>Idiot literally left everything here
>All access get along with the disc
>Fully commit
>Request nuke codes
>Disposals myself
>Instakilled by a hacked gibber
>Mfw

[DemonFiren]

That's whatcha get for murderboning.

[PKPenguin321]

more like that's what happens when the game is set to memedreamstation :^)

[ShadowDimentio]

That's whatcha get for murderboning.

I din'deven du nuffin yet, I was going to start the second I got out of disposals

[confused rock]

>no radio memes
>zombie memes
>all of sec and the captain make a push to get on the shuttle
>just a lowly assistant who ran to sec at the last second, gib a few zombies
>At the last second we are overrun and I run
>pick up bluespace crystals from cargo
>find a zombie on the arrivals pod
>bluespace it
>meet another guy in a hardsuit named dave
>nabbed 4 pieces of metal earlier, block off the entrance and try to do so to the pod window
>after a short struggle with pressure, manage to get the girder down
>shuttle leaves before I am ready, spacing me
>dave lives on as one of TWO survivors

[ATDoop]

>Be dreamstation
>Be mime
>Traitor
>Holoparasite murderbone time
>Insuls and belt engaged
>Break in sec
>Warden gone
>Grab three tasers and three lasers
>Break in cap's office
>Idiot literally left everything here
>All access get along with the disc
>Fully commit
>Request nuke codes
>Disposals myself
>Instakilled by a hacked gibber
>Mfw

I was the one who emagged the recycler! I was wondering if that got anyone.

[Nexendia]

Trying to be a good janitor and mopping the station..
No one walks and constantly yells at you..
Someone steals my mop so I find a new one..
Get killed...

;-;

my story is shit ;-;

[ShadowDimentio]

I was the one who emagged the recycler! I was wondering if that got anyone.

I WILL SHIT FURY DOWN YOUR THROAT

[Venticular]

>latejoin as ONLY sec member an hour into the round
>get my gear ready
>"Get over to the bridge"
>ok
>captain promotes me to HoS
>ok?
>never been a head before
>get gear ready again for the second time
>captain arresting clown in bar
>clown was giving out lube and drugs in his own little chemistry desk
>clown is obnoxious as fuck
>go into brig, all three of us caught by surprise and are abducted
>get telported into the boxing ring, which is surrounded by plasma
>explode into an automaton
>automaton lets plasma into the ring
>fires mah gun and sets everything on fire
>ayyliens teleport captain into the plasma fire, naked
>lived for ten minutes after being promoted

also, this round right after it... wew

>spawn as scientist
>get onto RnD
>make chem dispenser
>HoP bursts in, telebatons me
>starts dragging me to chapel
>"oh shit man please it's been eight minutes"
>go into crematorium
>fuck
>get cremated eight minutes into the round
>mob forms around the crematorium
>AI unbolts it
>HoP gets raped by the mob
>HoP had holo
>I was his target
>AN HOUR AND THIRTY FUCKING MINUTES LATER
>no random events brought me back into the round
>admins know I'm salty as fuck, shuttle gets called
>lag the fuck out, client crashes from lag because fuck me
>come back in, i was an admin meme blob during lag and died
>are you shitting me
>MFW round was an hour and fourty minutes long, I did nothing for an hour and thirty minutes

[ShadowDimentio]

>Be janitor
>Prowl maint for artifacts
>Get 6!!
>HoP refuses to give me access
>Fine I'll break in then
>Tries to shutterslam me
>Nicetry.jpg
>Come back later
>New HoP agrees to give me the access while a tider tides me
>Knock them out and grab my ID back
>But my locker is fucking gone
>Wonder where it went for two seconds before the old HoP comes back with my locker, empty
>Ask why the FUCK they stole my stuff and where it is
>Dunno
>Tell the new HoP to kindly let me in so I can beat this idiot to death
>Slip in when the tider comes back and smashes a bunch of windows
>Slip the HoP and beat him while demanding him tell me where the artifacts are
>Knock him out
>New HoP had been watching but intervenes when the old HoP gets knocked out
>Step out and the old HoP wakes up and starts beating on me
>The tider spears me, critting me and the old HoP beats me to death shortly after

>Tfw just wanted to experimentor

Also shoutouts to Bgo for not doing a fucking thing when I reported the tider because I hit him like twice with my extinguisher so escalation :^)

[PKPenguin321]

you couldn't have like, gotten a crowbar+multitool+screwdriver, or asked the AI, or even literally any scientist to let you in?

[ShadowDimentio]

Yeah. But the time between me asking for the access, being denied the first time and getting it the second was like 3 minutes. Everything would have been roses has the old HoP not fucked off with my artifacts for some unknowable reason.

Best part: After he beat me to death he dragged my corpse to sec for them to arrest, and they took me to cloning and tried to get me cloned so I could go to jail. Needless to say I didn't reenter my body.

[confused rock]

just now

>captain andrew memechell round
>literally roundstart royce is trying to suck my dick so he can fuck up poly
>literally roundstart illillious torbusculer magically jumps out of a locker in bridge and stechkins me to crit because I was busy typing to tell royce to fuck off
>sec gets there before I was dead because royce saw
>medbay is annoyingly slow but they get it done
>immediately royce tries to suck my dick again while I try to cure my bloodloss with iron pills at the same time
>ai george tries to lock me down because "only the captain can authorize executions" and illillious got executed (not really he somehow fucking escaped from the execution room through the window and I never saw him again)
>it takes a competent officer (who is a lizard why is it listening) to tell them to fuck off
>warden brock hill tries to arrest me because ai set me to arrest
>he fucking cuffs himself instead of me
>bring him to bridge to demote and fix ai laws
>somebody let royce into bridge
>ignore him because I have too much shit going on
>quickly change ai laws with the longest fucking autistic looking meme law ever so implanted people and heads are above others so it wont try to kill me (while they still are human enough that if nobody was implanted or a head they couldn't tell the difference) because the ai keeps fucking setting me to arrest
>Accidentally keep it onehumaned which it was while I was writing the law so it wouldnt tase me because apparently reset didnt work
>meanwhile in the background random people are asking me for help because capcurity is something they want apparently when im obviously busy
>warden gets out of cuffs
>I try to arrest royce and the warden tries to fucking help oddly
>warden stuns himself
>did I mention I lost my egun? because royce stole it when I was killed at roundstart
>warden runs off after making me lose my grip on royce again by sprinting into me
>finally get royce cuffed after dragging him to brig because I used my cuffs on the warden
>by now people have emagged into bridge and because they unlocked the console they are spouting memes with captain announcements
>fucking ai states the law 0 when its supposed to just act like it didnt have it
>have to spend more time explaining my bullshit but nobody cares
>royce has nothing on him except the pda of the traitor who shot me (unlocked with a whole 1 tc) and my egun
>finally get back to bridge
>more fucking memes, go back to try to fix ai laws
>turns out the only way to remove the law 0 is with a purge
>fuck
>comms console is emagged
>quickly send a "fuck you" to the syndies
>borg next to me gets blown
>fuck
>syndies bluespace bomb me to 1 health
>fuck
>hop drags me all the way to medbay while im downed rather than shake me up
>fuck
>there arent any brute kits left
>fuck
>try to go to the vending machine to get a patch but a small whiff of toxins kill me
>fuck yea, I'm finally dead

[FantasticFwoosh]

Two separate near identical rounds with roughly only 24 hours between them, i bought a syndicate

I dont really need to narrate the shitshow for you to understand my pain but for example ill explain the biggest unrobust cuck up of my

> Play R&D, roll traitor.
> Prepare murderboner silently staying in the background, some scrub takes over R&D instead so i just hang in the background.
> After a while the scientist goes good as brain dead looking at the screen
> I ready my gun while he's on the console with a point blank shot of my syndicate revolver hand cannon focused on his head.
> I hit him square in the face with the gun because MUH HARM INTENT
> OH SHIT HE WOKE UP
> Scientist panics, begins yakkety saxxing and screaming over comms around the computer equipment
> In the end he disarms me and shoots me dead.

Unrelated but still pretty shit cirucmstances from that round.
> Scientist runs to the nearest medical doctor Royce Greenwalt
> Royce decides the only course of action is to light my body on fire in the recovery room of course, triggering all the alarms whilst plasma is being vented into that room (not really sure why, but it stopped after a while)
> Royce being royce refuses to clone ever, so affirms self to brain transplanting me instead (???)
> Swear vengance to take his life being made so salty and buttmad, i toolbox him unconcious first instance i get
> Coincidentally karma karps, swoop in and kill me in escape when im trying to space royce (i was antag, he had it coming)
> I hang out with some ghost groupies in awe of my shitposting and slander of royce, while both our bodies get splatted by the shuttle.

The same story happens again with the syndie revolver shenanigans but this time i get caught and perma'd

[Venticular]

so royce has become a meme, huh?

while we're at it, a royce story about maybe why he is maybe (?) banned from RD from a while ago

>be security officer
>do some security memes for a while
>get reports the RD has killed someone
>go investigate (I am the science officer)
>person wearing Cap's clothes was killed by royce with their energy dagger
>Seems valid for now
>watch them get MMI'd
>MMI starts yelling that they are the actual captain
>investigate
>they are the actual fucking captain
>who royce killed
>because the captain tried to stun and cuff Royce to demote him (he was shit before this point)
>what the fuck
>quickly snatch the MMI to prevent Royce from forceborging them
>plan to clone captain
>remove brain, stuff back into body
>quickly drag body to cloning
>royce gives chase
>he telebatons me in cloning
>drags caps body off
>go fuck off to fight a holo or whatever, notify people over comms about Royce and the cap
>singulo loose
>go back to try and clone cap
>see royce
>almost stun them but singulo is eating science
>so I don't
>I spare royce
>we all get eaten
>mfw I saved royce from a ban for force borging

[Archie700]

>mfw I saved royce from a ban for force borging

Royce got perma'd yesterday so it amounted to nothing.

[Venticular]

my story wasn't trying to get more evidence of his shittery, it was just a personal story of "what the fuck" that happened to center around royce

also all bad memes have to die at some point

[Archie700]

I mean your attempt to save him amounted to nothing because royce never learnt his lesson

[FantasticFwoosh]

I mean your attempt to save him amounted to nothing because royce never learnt his lesson

> Its Royce.

Of course that meme didn't, its his hallmark.

[confused rock]

>mfw I saved royce from a ban for force borging

Royce got perma'd yesterday so it amounted to nothing.

thank fuck
royce story time
>be carp-sie chaplain on meta
>blob
>tfw the one time god hand is good for chaplain you don't have it
>blob attacks science
>I suggest reed makes black powder nades as they cucked me as a blob once
>only one medbot and meds are scarce so I heal people while low on health myself
>only one roboticist complains
>it seems we basically lost
>defib the head of personnel who later gets research running in cargo
>heal him with my book
>royce (Doctor who didn't even have a defib) memes in because nope don't heal people who are in crit who have head protection because you might make them a slight retard but still not as bad as royce
>tries to kill me
>I finish healing the guy and run off, on even worse health, fortunately I am not bleeding so I can still limp around and heal
>heal myself using tea as a small portion of it was toxins, able to limp faster
>shade a suicide so they can help out a little bit
>healing somebody else in crit while royce tries to heal them with morphine in a sleeper
>royce memes in and tries to murder me with a welder because he does not want more retards like him
>crit him with a carp sie plush after slipping him using a shower in medbay, but heal him just out of crit with the book so he does not ahelp me and so I'm not a murderer
>find reeds brain after he suicide bombed the blob, go through the vacuum of space to get it
>royce fucking ahelps me anyway
>tfw you are a shitter to royce when you are trying to make a new cloner so you can turn a brain in an mmi into pun pun
at least we actually fucking killed the blob

[Venticular]

the entire meme is his entire inability to learn from his mistakes and admit he's wrong

Royce is like a budget protagonist in a shit teen movie, except that Royce stays this person forever

[IcePacks]

>spawn as security officer
>LOOSE CANNON!!
>oh wait i mean spawn as assistant
>LOOSE CANNON!!
>events transpire
>make enemies
>punch fools
>shuttle arrives
>sit opposite some people i punched
>"I SURE AM GLAD I DIDN'T GET MURDERED"
>fifteen seconds pass
>explosion rocks the furthest corner of the shuttle away from me
>instakilled by flying shrapnel
>everyone else near me is just a little banged up

[Super Aggro Crag]

glad royce got banned, he was an obtuse shitter who would disassemble genetics roundstart as a non-traitor and generally shit up medbay constantly and murder people for no reason.

also i was there when bryce got blown up, you miss the part where i said "bryce isn't a loose cannon, that's just what we call his anal sphincter"

[Venticular]

also, I just noticed everyone is changing their avatars, what the fuck

why is everyone doing it at the same time?

[Super Aggro Crag]

to make you double check who you are replying to instead of just recognizing everyone by avatar

[Zilenan91]

What was Royce's ckey anyways?

[confused rock]

>carp-sie chaplain
>mime puts a holoparasite injector in their backpack inside bar
>yell over radio about how autistic they are
>muhammed convinces me to get valids
>get a valid
>injector wasnt used
>muhammed gets the emag
>get healing holopara
>nobody really gives a fuck because everyone knows
>carp random event
>pray for the carp hardsuit but get no response
>get a suit from eva
>random sec officer shits bricks over the holopara
>other guys get them to back down
>use the carp-sie plush to not die and use the holopara teleport to teleport them into a carp sanctuary surrounded by girders and the welded chapel doors in escape
>Get around 10 carp and a mega teleported in
>valids intensify
>warden (Who isnt in brig) tries to valid me but I escape
>all is well
>try to get more
>valids intensify
>rayner tries to laser me out of nowhere
>get out fine
>valids intensify
>have multiple people backing me up that the holopara is mine but sec is still trying to rape me
>rayner is lasering the carp through the chapel windoors and lasers me
>REEE
>teleporting all over the place and hanging around space being healed by the para a lot to not die
>pray
>"fuck off salts wannabe"
>shuttle docks
>couldnt save a single carp, somebody else releases them using a firefighter mech (they blame me) and they almost kill the warden but fail
>still not dead somehow
>another fucking sphinx meme
>go up the ladder
>its not a fucking riddle or logic puzzle its seeing if you can read a wall of text without getting bored
>do it right
>go up
>2 ladders
>go down the one on the left
>woohoo I get a skateboard and theres no pressure in this room
>round ends

[confused rock]

>normal cargo tech
>mitch steals my chair
>table him
>he tries to kill me and sec has to help me
>30 minutes later
>random syndie bomb at the entrance wrenched down
>fucking pussy engiborg runs away (isnt that a law conflict)
>17 seconds left
>grab the multitool
>hit a random wire
>"the bomb chirps"
>think its the stop bomb wire
>grab wirecutters from autolathe
>nevermind its the add time wire
>spam it till the end of days
>3,000 seconds till detonation
>cj comes in and disarms me so he can stop the bomb
>I stop him and try to explain
>halfway through explaining to him mitch comes out of nowhere
>starts beating the fuck out of me
>cj goes back on the bomb
>it explodes and we all die
>cloning is fucked
>for some reason nobody decides to pod clone
>oh look theres a golem ship
>theres a tendril on it and it kills everyone

[Anonmare]

I wanna know who removed the syndie bomb's messages and ask them why they hate deaf people
(Or people with bad hearing like me)

[Drynwyn]

>miner
>Go to mine
>Meet an ashwalker
>Stick self behind ore crate, negotiate
>Establish a truce
>Ash storm starts, run back to mining station
>There are 4 other ashwalkers there, they all stab me with spears

Balance!

[Zilenan91]

fucking kek

[Reece]

> be me.
> Roll warden.
> Nations round.
> what.
> no!
> Oh god no!
> intercomm bleeps, chinese is here, he won't bring it up, got bit by a bull terrier on the floor below once.
> Be fat.
> drag disgusting self down stairs.
> Wrong order.
> Threaten to eat his children.
> Order the run time special (chow mein)
> Get upstairs, huffing.
> Warden safely hidden in locker.
> meme around for a bit, nations is hell, corridors is a battleground.
> Intercomm buzzes.
> Food is here for my fat ass.
> Hide in nearest locker.
> Run down the stairs to get food.
> Get back up, go into my room, warden locker opened, someone has gotten in, they're looting me.
> run forwards to computer.
> trip.
> food all over my bed.
> tase the looter.
> pick up my shattered hopes, dreams and food from the floor. Leave dignity.
> salvage what I can, it's a meagre meal for a fatty like I.
> nations round ends with two death squads, the UN and ERT team and the tesla at centcomm from the shuttle.
> last battle between lone ops agent and last death squad member, ops loses, deathsquad gets hit with explosion.
> Eat entire box of duck rice like the piece of shit I am.

[confused rock]

>miner
>find gluttony syringe
>stab self
>run around as my pda calling people fat
>even call a shitler fat and he just rees at me
>call mekhi fat
>he valids me and gibs the body

[bandit]

>miner
>find gluttony syringe
>stab self
>run around as my pda calling people fat
>even call a shitler fat and he just rees at me
>call mekhi fat
>he valids me and gibs the body

ur fat

[DemonFiren]

>miner
>find gluttony syringe
>stab self
>run around as my pda calling people fat
>even call a shitler fat and he just rees at me
>call mekhi fat
>he valids me and gibs the body

What the fuck did you expect from Mekhi?
Mekhi a shit.

[TheWiznard]

>drone
>slip on the derelict due to sanic drone speed and shitty "smooth" movement
>find abandoned ship crashed in an asteroid with a teleporter on it
>snoop around it
>looks cool
>multitool teleporter
>teleport to teleporter room
>set up gate teleporter back to ship
>collect materials
>finally get full RnD set up on ship
>main teleporter room and RnD room aired up
>start doing self sufficent research
>25~ minutes into round
>power starts to go out
>shuttle called because power is out
>wander into engineering
>everything is perfectly set up and emmiters are firing
>atmos tech corpse in front of the first bottom emitter
>wrench all the telsa shit down
>turn on pa
>tesla starts
>power is back
>took less than 3 minutes
>shuttle past no return
>literally no human other than engineering cyborg came into engineering
>borg didn't even do anything with the engine
>all 27 some people too lazy to break/walk into engineering to see what is wrong

>literally all I did was wrench down the two tesla grounding rods near the doors and turn on the PA
>autismfortanger.webm

[PKPenguin321]

>join server, it's metastation
>right as i join the round starts so i have to latejoin
>join as detective since he's one of the jobs i enjoy more
>get my gear, walking around, looking for trouble
>at the bar i find a fresh murder case
>drag the corpse down to medbay and try to clone but the guy already left
>take his corpse to my office in a bodybag and put him in my morgue tray
>scan all the things
>place police barriers, draw a body outline, take pictures of the murder scene
>collect evidence for days
>back to the office
>print out scanner report
>backcheck every single fingerprint and DNA readout
>create a paper for the suspects and their fingerprint/DNA data
>create a paper for my theories on what happened and my conclusion on who to interrogate
>carefully label each paper
>put it all into a folder, even the picture, ask the HoS for permission to interrogate the dudes
>super hyped for real detective work
>go to ask HoS, Miku, for permission to set to arrest and interrogate the prime suspects
>Miku: "Cover me for a second, I think it's gangs"
>follow Miku out with revolver drawn
>some dude busted a cell window and runs out, placed water above the cell
>set myself to walk and try to pursue
>slip on it anyways, it's lube!
>try to tell miku but it's too late, she tried to chase too and also slipped, but she slipped out of the brig whiel I was still inside
>dude outside blasts her to death with a shotgun to the face
>grab her snowflake HoS laser gun
>try so hard to pursue but most doors are bolted
>gravity goes out so i can't fucking move for shit
>get into the halls and follow the blood trails with my expert detective skills
>find the bastard with the corpse in the medbay lobby, he has a taser drawn
>try to evade but le nogravity
>get tased and lased
>gangs have fucked up the entire station and i was probably boned anyways
>all i wanted to do was real detective work
>i was this close to cracking the Aekhi Murder Case
>my case file is still in my backpack and will never be touched by anybody again
>Miku claims i pushed her into the lube in deadchat and hates me
>tfw you just wanted to be a gumshoe

[Desucake]

Eh, that round itself was a mess, I'm pretty sure you didn't do it, but at the time I was a bit angry. Sorry.

[Archie700]

>join server, it's metastation
>right as i join the round starts so i have to latejoin
>join as detective since he's one of the jobs i enjoy more
>get my gear, walking around, looking for trouble
>at the bar i find a fresh murder case
>drag the corpse down to medbay and try to clone but the guy already left
>take his corpse to my office in a bodybag and put him in my morgue tray
>scan all the things
>place police barriers, draw a body outline, take pictures of the murder scene
>collect evidence for days
>back to the office
>print out scanner report
>backcheck every single fingerprint and DNA readout
>create a paper for the suspects and their fingerprint/DNA data
>create a paper for my theories on what happened and my conclusion on who to interrogate
>carefully label each paper
>put it all into a folder, even the picture, ask the HoS for permission to interrogate the dudes
>super hyped for real detective work
>go to ask HoS, Miku, for permission to set to arrest and interrogate the prime suspects
>Miku: "Cover me for a second, I think it's gangs"
>follow Miku out with revolver drawn
>some dude busted a cell window and runs out, placed water above the cell
>set myself to walk and try to pursue
>slip on it anyways, it's lube!
>try to tell miku but it's too late, she tried to chase too and also slipped, but she slipped out of the brig whiel I was still inside
>dude outside blasts her to death with a shotgun to the face
>grab her snowflake HoS laser gun
>try so hard to pursue but most doors are bolted
>gravity goes out so i can't fucking move for shit
>get into the halls and follow the blood trails with my expert detective skills
>find the bastard with the corpse in the medbay lobby, he has a taser drawn
>try to evade but le nogravity
>get tased and lased
>gangs have fucked up the entire station and i was probably boned anyways
>all i wanted to do was real detective work
>i was this close to cracking the Aekhi Murder Case
>my case file is still in my backpack and will never be touched by anybody again
>Miku claims i pushed her into the lube in deadchat and hates me
>tfw you just wanted to be a gumshoe

Wait, wasn't this the Phoebe Lotsu round?

[CrunchyCHEEZIT]

>join server, it's metastation
>right as i join the round starts so i have to latejoin
>join as detective since he's one of the jobs i enjoy more
>get my gear, walking around, looking for trouble
>at the bar i find a fresh murder case
>drag the corpse down to medbay and try to clone but the guy already left
>take his corpse to my office in a bodybag and put him in my morgue tray
>scan all the things
>place police barriers, draw a body outline, take pictures of the murder scene
>collect evidence for days
>back to the office
>print out scanner report
>backcheck every single fingerprint and DNA readout
>create a paper for the suspects and their fingerprint/DNA data
>create a paper for my theories on what happened and my conclusion on who to interrogate
>carefully label each paper
>put it all into a folder, even the picture, ask the HoS for permission to interrogate the dudes
>super hyped for real detective work
>go to ask HoS, Miku, for permission to set to arrest and interrogate the prime suspects
>Miku: "Cover me for a second, I think it's gangs"
>follow Miku out with revolver drawn
>some dude busted a cell window and runs out, placed water above the cell
>set myself to walk and try to pursue
>slip on it anyways, it's lube!
>try to tell miku but it's too late, she tried to chase too and also slipped, but she slipped out of the brig whiel I was still inside
>dude outside blasts her to death with a shotgun to the face
>grab her snowflake HoS laser gun
>try so hard to pursue but most doors are bolted
>gravity goes out so i can't fucking move for shit
>get into the halls and follow the blood trails with my expert detective skills
>find the bastard with the corpse in the medbay lobby, he has a taser drawn
>try to evade but le nogravity
>get tased and lased
>gangs have fucked up the entire station and i was probably boned anyways
>all i wanted to do was real detective work
>i was this close to cracking the Aekhi Murder Case
>my case file is still in my backpack and will never be touched by anybody again
>Miku claims i pushed her into the lube in deadchat and hates me
>tfw you just wanted to be a gumshoe

I have a similar story to this/

>be Joseph McJohn, aspiring security officer
>time for a great day of--
>"MORGAN FUCKER-- I MEAN CUCKER IS A CHANGELING"
>oh well ok
>see security officer dragging a handcuffed morgan into the brig
>well, if he's a changeling, i suppose its off to the crematorium
>we head down to the chapel, i lag behind him and find that he has been stunned and dragged away by another assistant
>admitelly i dont do anything, grab morgan before he can run and drag him into the crematorium
>"FUCK YO--"
>he gets crispied
>find out after the round that he wasnt actually a changeling, as it was a rev round
>was still funny, tho
>anyway, captain and his retinue of 3 other sec guards enter the crematorium to confirm the fact that the changeling is dead
>"LEVEL 5 BIOHAZARD IN DORMS"
>we rush to dorms, cant find the blob. we think its a mistake until we find it lurking in one of the dark corners of--
>suddenly the lawyer and his squad of greyshits arrive and start beating the fuck out of us
>the comms go up in a flare of "GANGS" "REV" "GANGS" "REV"
>one of the sec officers gets stripped and gangbanged, but I manage to get up and arrest the lawyer
>quickly escape the scene with the lawyer in tow
>find sergi, our amazing HoS, setting up barricades and arming himself to the teeth
>all he says is "KILL REVS"
>well ok
>strap lawyer to a bed and beat him to death with harmbaton
>shove his corpse in locker
>mission accomplished
>revs begin to surround the brig, demanding blood
>me, the HoS, and the detective are the only sec left.
>HoS tells me to follow him around, explains his mission to raid the medbay and grab defibs, medpacks, anything we can find
>lets me into the armory, i arm myself with riot gear, energy guns and all the good shit
>the CE tries to hide in the brig, but apparently the HoS tells him to fuck off for whatever reason
>we raid the medbay, the mission goes well for the most part-- a couple revs try to make a move on the HoS but we literally tazer and gun down anyone that isnt a head
>we return to the brig, HoS attempts to revive the dead captain in his office via defib pack, he fails
>"NOOOOO"
>despair reigns over us as revs begin to break into the brig
>for the next 10-15 minutes, we run around the brig, shooting up and mercilessly executing anybody who walks into the brig and is NOT a sec officer
>try to follow the HoS around and be his personal bodyguard
>the clown distracts me, i keep trying to shoot and taze him out of rag--
>"HELP"
>turn around
>A FUCKING MINEBOT IS DRILLING THE EVERLIVING FUCK OUT OF THE HOS
>NONONONONO--
>"THE REVOLUTIONARIES HAVE WON"
>sit in despair as the clown slips me and shoots me to death

I cried.

[IcePacks]

>join server, it's metastation
>right as i join the round starts so i have to latejoin
>join as detective since he's one of the jobs i enjoy more
>get my gear, walking around, looking for trouble
>at the bar i find a fresh murder case
>drag the corpse down to medbay and try to clone but the guy already left
>take his corpse to my office in a bodybag and put him in my morgue tray
>scan all the things
>place police barriers, draw a body outline, take pictures of the murder scene
>collect evidence for days
>back to the office
>print out scanner report
>backcheck every single fingerprint and DNA readout
>create a paper for the suspects and their fingerprint/DNA data
>create a paper for my theories on what happened and my conclusion on who to interrogate
>carefully label each paper
>put it all into a folder, even the picture, ask the HoS for permission to interrogate the dudes
>super hyped for real detective work
>go to ask HoS, Miku, for permission to set to arrest and interrogate the prime suspects
>Miku: "Cover me for a second, I think it's gangs"
>follow Miku out with revolver drawn
>some dude busted a cell window and runs out, placed water above the cell
>set myself to walk and try to pursue
>slip on it anyways, it's lube!
>try to tell miku but it's too late, she tried to chase too and also slipped, but she slipped out of the brig whiel I was still inside
>dude outside blasts her to death with a shotgun to the face
>grab her snowflake HoS laser gun
>try so hard to pursue but most doors are bolted
>gravity goes out so i can't fucking move for shit
>get into the halls and follow the blood trails with my expert detective skills
>find the bastard with the corpse in the medbay lobby, he has a taser drawn
>try to evade but le nogravity
>get tased and lased
>gangs have fucked up the entire station and i was probably boned anyways
>all i wanted to do was real detective work
>i was this close to cracking the Aekhi Murder Case
>my case file is still in my backpack and will never be touched by anybody again
>Miku claims i pushed her into the lube in deadchat and hates me
>tfw you just wanted to be a gumshoe