Bottom post of the previous page:
Well, yeah, but minmaxing.Stories of rage, tears and regret
- Psyentific
- Joined: Mon Apr 21, 2014 7:44 am
- Byond Username: Psyentific
- Location: Vancouver, Canada
- Contact:
- IcePacks
- Joined: Sun Apr 20, 2014 4:46 am
- Byond Username: IcePacks
Re: Stories of rage, tears and regret
>assistant
>slow round on artyom because everyone left
>murder!
>do a buncha investigative shit
>narrow it down to one suspect
>violence
>start interrogating her; she's just barely alive
>use russian roullete
>point the gun at her
>click
>point the gun at me
>ded
>unlucky in the first round
EDIT: fucking
>zeke "fucking faggot fucking up fucking telecomms like a fucker fucking a fucking fuckslave in the fucking heat of fucktopia" matthews uploads shitty borderline meta script that forces quasi-correct grammar and "cuts down on spam"
that's a little meta you cocksucking shitslapper
>slow round on artyom because everyone left
>murder!
>do a buncha investigative shit
>narrow it down to one suspect
>violence
>start interrogating her; she's just barely alive
>use russian roullete
>point the gun at her
>click
>point the gun at me
>ded
>unlucky in the first round
EDIT: fucking
>zeke "fucking faggot fucking up fucking telecomms like a fucker fucking a fucking fuckslave in the fucking heat of fucktopia" matthews uploads shitty borderline meta script that forces quasi-correct grammar and "cuts down on spam"
that's a little meta you cocksucking shitslapper
OOC: Deitus: tfw RL porn doesnt sexually excite me anymore
-
- Joined: Sat Jul 12, 2014 9:44 am
- Byond Username: Jaxy15
- Location: Realm 9.12
Re: Stories of rage, tears and regret
>Assistant
>Oh, you're also a traitor. Kill this other greyshirt and steal a jetpack.
>Target disappears and I never see him again.
>Stuff happens, shuttle is called.
>Emag into EVA and take jetpack before shuttle docks.
>Get on escape pod with 2 other people.
>Borg comes into pod and opens the door after the pods launch.
>Fly out of the pod and die.
Bullshit.
>Oh, you're also a traitor. Kill this other greyshirt and steal a jetpack.
>Target disappears and I never see him again.
>Stuff happens, shuttle is called.
>Emag into EVA and take jetpack before shuttle docks.
>Get on escape pod with 2 other people.
>Borg comes into pod and opens the door after the pods launch.
>Fly out of the pod and die.
Bullshit.
- dionysus24779
- Joined: Sun Apr 20, 2014 3:03 pm
- Byond Username: Dionysus24779
Re: Stories of rage, tears and regret
> Latejoin as Assistant, no jobs available really (except medic)
> Stroll over to Robotics to be borged
> Robo is closed so I knock a few times
> I finally hear a door open in Robotics so like a dog I run to the Mechbay entrance
> Robo comes out, closes door behind him
> Robo walks over to Science entrance, me follow
> In the little airlock thing he stops so I finally have the chance to officially asked to be borged
> Lel assisntant-jew has no rights, get flashed and stuff... just wanted to be borged...
> Scream over radio that Robo aussaulted me... just wanted to be borged...
> Be upset that the Robo is such a huge asshole for no reason and break one of his windows as petty revenge
> Security shows up, Detective and Secguy
> Detective explains to me how I shouldn't resort to petty vandalism and tell Security about being aussaulted
> So I do
> Nothing happens... ask why Robo isn't arrested for aussault.
> "Lel no proof"... that's why I didn't go to Security in the first place!
I'm sure in a reverse situation Sec would've thrown me in jail...
> Just wanted to be borged, but now I can't, suicide
> Wait rest of round out, which at least isn't much
> AI starts to spam a million voxes and since you can't silence them or turn their volume down I have to stop watching videos/listening to music...
> Vent frustration in small ooc comment, unaware that thats an ooc/ic thing
> Promptly pm'ed by an admin and threatened with a ban since I was once already banned for ooc/ic offense like 2 years ago or whatever...
Rounds like that...
> Stroll over to Robotics to be borged
> Robo is closed so I knock a few times
> I finally hear a door open in Robotics so like a dog I run to the Mechbay entrance
> Robo comes out, closes door behind him
> Robo walks over to Science entrance, me follow
> In the little airlock thing he stops so I finally have the chance to officially asked to be borged
> Lel assisntant-jew has no rights, get flashed and stuff... just wanted to be borged...
> Scream over radio that Robo aussaulted me... just wanted to be borged...
> Be upset that the Robo is such a huge asshole for no reason and break one of his windows as petty revenge
> Security shows up, Detective and Secguy
> Detective explains to me how I shouldn't resort to petty vandalism and tell Security about being aussaulted
> So I do
> Nothing happens... ask why Robo isn't arrested for aussault.
> "Lel no proof"... that's why I didn't go to Security in the first place!
I'm sure in a reverse situation Sec would've thrown me in jail...
> Just wanted to be borged, but now I can't, suicide
> Wait rest of round out, which at least isn't much
> AI starts to spam a million voxes and since you can't silence them or turn their volume down I have to stop watching videos/listening to music...
> Vent frustration in small ooc comment, unaware that thats an ooc/ic thing
> Promptly pm'ed by an admin and threatened with a ban since I was once already banned for ooc/ic offense like 2 years ago or whatever...
Rounds like that...
-
- Joined: Sun Jun 29, 2014 5:51 pm
- Byond Username: Raven776
Re: Stories of rage, tears and regret
>Be assistant
>Traitor: Kill Shaft Miner
>Go set up engine because I like to do my murdering in a soft light.
>Offer a red balloon for a gun being auctioned by security.
>No one gives a fuck.
>Don't believe I have balloon.
>Don't get the gun being auctioned.
>Captain starts stalking me now.
>Ask for access to mining so I can bugger off to the asteroid and do shit there.
>Get it.
>Start using new cargo and engineering access to emitter open weapons crates.
>Built AI is whining at security about how emitters are dangerous.
>Get shot by emitter. Pretty sure AI turned it on.
>Start unwiring cameras. AI whines.
>Am antag, yell that AI is rogue to give myself some time for shenanigans.
>Figure that I can go do my job now.
>Head to mining asteroid with baton and two Eguns.
>Dead miner there already.
>Blood everywhere.
>Gun and bullets all over floor.
>Hardsuit asshole warps in, immediately I start dancing.
>Taze him, laser him, cuff him.
>AI is hateboner for me, claims I killed both of them.
>I heal him back up and start to talk to fellow traitor.
>Tell AI to get off of my shit and yell at security to get to mining asteroid.
>Wait.
>Wait.
>AI still hateboner. Can't see anything because I broke his precious cameras. Feels good.
>Fuck_it.jpg
>Spout out codewords, uncuff guy, tell him to laser my chest and cuff me and hide the miner's body.
>He does.
>HoP and security arrive. Immediately stunned and then revived as they try to bash cuffs into my already cuffed wrists.
>They aren't having any of my shit. Number 1 AI friend told them I murdered two people.
>Explain that if I murdered two people, and I am here now and in cuffs, how is physically possible?
>Get uncuffed after a while of calling them shitlord. Only do this when Antag, feels nice.
>Go back to station, get lethal shotgunned.
>Heal myself after tazing and calling out the idiot using lethal rounds with no stun rounds.
>Start to misinform security.
>Take balloon from where I hid it at round start, throw it into escape after shuttle is called.
>Disconnect and can't reconnect to see all the glorious things happen.
>Traitor: Kill Shaft Miner
>Go set up engine because I like to do my murdering in a soft light.
>Offer a red balloon for a gun being auctioned by security.
>No one gives a fuck.
>Don't believe I have balloon.
>Don't get the gun being auctioned.
>Captain starts stalking me now.
>Ask for access to mining so I can bugger off to the asteroid and do shit there.
>Get it.
>Start using new cargo and engineering access to emitter open weapons crates.
>Built AI is whining at security about how emitters are dangerous.
>Get shot by emitter. Pretty sure AI turned it on.
>Start unwiring cameras. AI whines.
>Am antag, yell that AI is rogue to give myself some time for shenanigans.
>Figure that I can go do my job now.
>Head to mining asteroid with baton and two Eguns.
>Dead miner there already.
>Blood everywhere.
>Gun and bullets all over floor.
>Hardsuit asshole warps in, immediately I start dancing.
>Taze him, laser him, cuff him.
>AI is hateboner for me, claims I killed both of them.
>I heal him back up and start to talk to fellow traitor.
>Tell AI to get off of my shit and yell at security to get to mining asteroid.
>Wait.
>Wait.
>AI still hateboner. Can't see anything because I broke his precious cameras. Feels good.
>Fuck_it.jpg
>Spout out codewords, uncuff guy, tell him to laser my chest and cuff me and hide the miner's body.
>He does.
>HoP and security arrive. Immediately stunned and then revived as they try to bash cuffs into my already cuffed wrists.
>They aren't having any of my shit. Number 1 AI friend told them I murdered two people.
>Explain that if I murdered two people, and I am here now and in cuffs, how is physically possible?
>Get uncuffed after a while of calling them shitlord. Only do this when Antag, feels nice.
>Go back to station, get lethal shotgunned.
>Heal myself after tazing and calling out the idiot using lethal rounds with no stun rounds.
>Start to misinform security.
>Take balloon from where I hid it at round start, throw it into escape after shuttle is called.
>Disconnect and can't reconnect to see all the glorious things happen.
-
- Joined: Sun Apr 20, 2014 6:47 am
- Byond Username: Mechoid
Re: Stories of rage, tears and regret
I was the atmos hardsuit guy who killed the miner and you nearly killed, I found you in maint after floating back to the station and cleaning the suit, and bolted both of us into a pod.Raven776 wrote:Traitorous Fun
"If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him." - Johnathan Rigel, The Horizon Experiment
Little do people know, Imgur uploads save .DMI file data if you upload it as a .DMI, just download the .png file and open it with dreammaker, bam, correct file.
Silicon Scrapyard: http://tgstation13.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?f=11&t=290
Little do people know, Imgur uploads save .DMI file data if you upload it as a .DMI, just download the .png file and open it with dreammaker, bam, correct file.
Silicon Scrapyard: http://tgstation13.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?f=11&t=290
- bandit
- Joined: Thu Apr 17, 2014 7:35 pm
- Byond Username: Bgobandit
Re: Stories of rage, tears and regret
can't you just manually disable BYOND's sounddionysus24779 wrote:> AI starts to spam a million voxes and since you can't silence them or turn their volume down I have to stop watching videos/listening to music...
-
- Joined: Sun Jun 29, 2014 5:51 pm
- Byond Username: Raven776
Re: Stories of rage, tears and regret
Did I get glorious greentext? I feel so happy I could ERP you like everyone seems to try to ERP me.Mechoid wrote:I was the atmos hardsuit guy who killed the miner and you nearly killed, I found you in maint after floating back to the station and cleaning the suit, and bolted both of us into a pod.Raven776 wrote:Traitorous Fun
-
- Joined: Sun Apr 20, 2014 6:47 am
- Byond Username: Mechoid
Re: Stories of rage, tears and regret
Yes, you did get a glorious greentext. And we were the only traitors.Raven776 wrote:Did I get glorious greentext? I feel so happy I could ERP you like everyone seems to try to ERP me.Mechoid wrote:I was the atmos hardsuit guy who killed the miner and you nearly killed, I found you in maint after floating back to the station and cleaning the suit, and bolted both of us into a pod.Raven776 wrote:Traitorous Fun
"If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him." - Johnathan Rigel, The Horizon Experiment
Little do people know, Imgur uploads save .DMI file data if you upload it as a .DMI, just download the .png file and open it with dreammaker, bam, correct file.
Silicon Scrapyard: http://tgstation13.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?f=11&t=290
Little do people know, Imgur uploads save .DMI file data if you upload it as a .DMI, just download the .png file and open it with dreammaker, bam, correct file.
Silicon Scrapyard: http://tgstation13.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?f=11&t=290
- Vekter
- In-Game Admin
- Joined: Thu Apr 17, 2014 10:25 pm
- Byond Username: Vekter
- Location: Fucking around with the engine.
Re: Stories of rage, tears and regret
Or you can adminhelp people being assholes with the vox button.bandit wrote:can't you just manually disable BYOND's sounddionysus24779 wrote:> AI starts to spam a million voxes and since you can't silence them or turn their volume down I have to stop watching videos/listening to music...
AliasTakuto wrote: ↑Thu Jan 04, 2024 1:11 pm As for the ear replacing stuff, you can ask Anne but I don't think this is what I was banned for. If I was all I can say is "Sorry for being hilarious"...
Omega_DarkPotato wrote:This sucks, dude.
Spoiler:
- Spacemanspark
- Joined: Thu Apr 17, 2014 7:45 pm
- Byond Username: Spacemanspark
- Location: Paradise
Re: Stories of rage, tears and regret
Shhhhhhhh.....Vekter wrote:Or you can adminhelp people being assholes with the vox button.bandit wrote:can't you just manually disable BYOND's sounddionysus24779 wrote:> AI starts to spam a million voxes and since you can't silence them or turn their volume down I have to stop watching videos/listening to music...
Also, people really hate disabling the sound, it puts you at a disadvantage.
:^)
- Lovecraft
- Joined: Wed Apr 23, 2014 1:19 am
- Byond Username: Rabukurafuto
- Location: Currently roaming
Re: Stories of rage, tears and regret
I've been gone because of moving shenanigans.IcePacks wrote: >slow round on artyom because everyone left
Who's gone? Is Alfred still there?
Or it could have just been a late night round.but I'm scared.
HOW MUCH HAS CHANGED WHAT YEAR IS THIS
Friendly reminder that you are beautiful and this server would be nothing without your continued support
I play August Finster, a suave midget with a grudge, as well as Francis Heart, the naked guitarist of the Cosmos.
I play August Finster, a suave midget with a grudge, as well as Francis Heart, the naked guitarist of the Cosmos.
Spoiler:
- Reimoo
- Joined: Wed Apr 23, 2014 2:58 pm
- Byond Username: Reimoo
Re: Stories of rage, tears and regret
>Security officer
>near end round, boarding escape shuttle
>shuttle leaves
>After some banter with the prisoners in the brig the HoS orders me to space one of them
>the brig is fucking crowded and I have some difficulties trying to move the prisoner
>End up accidentally spacing myself instead
>near end round, boarding escape shuttle
>shuttle leaves
>After some banter with the prisoners in the brig the HoS orders me to space one of them
>the brig is fucking crowded and I have some difficulties trying to move the prisoner
>End up accidentally spacing myself instead
- IcePacks
- Joined: Sun Apr 20, 2014 4:46 am
- Byond Username: IcePacks
Re: Stories of rage, tears and regret
everyone left because i got banned for two days following another strong-armed id robbery (when will i ever learn?)Lovecraft wrote:I've been gone because of moving shenanigans.IcePacks wrote: >slow round on artyom because everyone left
Who's gone? Is Alfred still there?
Or it could have just been a late night round.but I'm scared.
HOW MUCH HAS CHANGED WHAT YEAR IS THIS
trufax
OOC: Deitus: tfw RL porn doesnt sexually excite me anymore
-
- Joined: Sat Apr 19, 2014 6:33 am
- Byond Username: Konork
Re: Stories of rage, tears and regret
>slow round, nothing really going on
>buckle into the roller chair in robotics, then rest
>leave the room for a bit, come back pretty much immediately
>check SS13 real quick, find myself in a cloning tube after being shot several times
>buckle into the roller chair in robotics, then rest
>leave the room for a bit, come back pretty much immediately
>check SS13 real quick, find myself in a cloning tube after being shot several times
- Reimoo
- Joined: Wed Apr 23, 2014 2:58 pm
- Byond Username: Reimoo
Re: Stories of rage, tears and regret
>DA scientist
>Fuck yes, hatch master plan immediately
>I will use bomb threats to coerce the crew into doing my assassination objective for me!
>Regardless, I will still blow up genetics to ensure my target stays dead
>Begin bomb production
>Purchase a camera bug to allow effective detonation timing in the event my bombs are discovered
>Purchase an ebow in case my would be assassin eventually shows up
>Musing is randomly halted when a redshirt walks in and wordlessly tases me
>Literally haven't left toxins all shift
>He dumps all my traitor shit on the floor
>LOL TATOR CONFIRMED COMMENCING VALIDBONER
>Close game to contemplate what just happened
>Return half an hour later to escape from perma and receive greentext anyway
Not mad, just disappointed.
>Fuck yes, hatch master plan immediately
>I will use bomb threats to coerce the crew into doing my assassination objective for me!
>Regardless, I will still blow up genetics to ensure my target stays dead
>Begin bomb production
>Purchase a camera bug to allow effective detonation timing in the event my bombs are discovered
>Purchase an ebow in case my would be assassin eventually shows up
>Musing is randomly halted when a redshirt walks in and wordlessly tases me
>Literally haven't left toxins all shift
>He dumps all my traitor shit on the floor
>LOL TATOR CONFIRMED COMMENCING VALIDBONER
>Close game to contemplate what just happened
>Return half an hour later to escape from perma and receive greentext anyway
Not mad, just disappointed.
-
- Joined: Mon Jul 14, 2014 2:39 am
- Byond Username: Crushtoe
Re: Stories of rage, tears and regret
The person who had you as a target probably ratted you out to Security. Its a shit move, but...Reimoo wrote:>DA scientist
>Fuck yes, hatch master plan immediately
>I will use bomb threats to coerce the crew into doing my assassination objective for me!
>Regardless, I will still blow up genetics to ensure my target stays dead
>Begin bomb production
>Purchase a camera bug to allow effective detonation timing in the event my bombs are discovered
>Purchase an ebow in case my would be assassin eventually shows up
>Musing is randomly halted when a redshirt walks in and wordlessly tases me
>Literally haven't left toxins all shift
>He dumps all my traitor shit on the floor
>LOL TATOR CONFIRMED COMMENCING VALIDBONER
>Close game to contemplate what just happened
>Return half an hour later to escape from perma and receive greentext anyway
Not mad, just disappointed.
- Mastigos
- Joined: Sat Apr 19, 2014 11:53 am
Re: Stories of rage, tears and regret
>Tator mime
>Roll bundle like always
>AI bundle, whatever
>Derp around, not causing any trouble or doing anything bad
>Someone emags beepsky and medibots, gives medibots kill chems
>Modem resets while I'm in front of medbay
>Reconnect in orange health after Secborg lel random arrested me because apparently I was the one hacking the medibots and filling them with deadly chems
>Break vow to beg borg for antitox because I'm in flashing red
>Die in cell because borg falsely arrested me after most likely watching medibots inject me with killing chems, captain finds emag on corpse and says I'm not to be cloned and get morgued
>gg no re
>Roll bundle like always
>AI bundle, whatever
>Derp around, not causing any trouble or doing anything bad
>Someone emags beepsky and medibots, gives medibots kill chems
>Modem resets while I'm in front of medbay
>Reconnect in orange health after Secborg lel random arrested me because apparently I was the one hacking the medibots and filling them with deadly chems
>Break vow to beg borg for antitox because I'm in flashing red
>Die in cell because borg falsely arrested me after most likely watching medibots inject me with killing chems, captain finds emag on corpse and says I'm not to be cloned and get morgued
>gg no re
Hornygranny wrote: i was wrong
#NEVERFORGETPaprika wrote:Saegrimr is right.
-
- Joined: Wed Jun 11, 2014 7:20 am
- Byond Username: Rhisereld
Re: Stories of rage, tears and regret
> Latejoin in Cult round as assistant
> Station gone to shit
> Some cultist recalls the shuttle
> Run into the Bridge with some Secborg that shows up.
> Find filthy cultist
> Secborg stuns the cultist and cuffs them to a chair, I start beating them but Asimov borg won't allow it.
> Eventually get shuttle called again
> Cultist starts screaming about how hungry he is, like he's literally going to starve to death without donuts.
> Borg asks me to get the filthy cultist some food
> I'm bored so I grab some donuts from Captain's office and start force-feeding the cultist
> Borg leaves.
> Yell "TAKE IT YOU WHORE" as I feed him a donut.
> Punch him in between each donut.
> Cultist is into it.
> TOO INTO IT
> "OHYES"
> "NOW"
> "TAKE A DONUT AND PUT IT ON MY DICK"
> wut.jpg
> Don't know what to do, so I beat him to death.
> Force feed his lifeless corpse the last donut.
>Never feel clean again.
> Station gone to shit
> Some cultist recalls the shuttle
> Run into the Bridge with some Secborg that shows up.
> Find filthy cultist
> Secborg stuns the cultist and cuffs them to a chair, I start beating them but Asimov borg won't allow it.
> Eventually get shuttle called again
> Cultist starts screaming about how hungry he is, like he's literally going to starve to death without donuts.
> Borg asks me to get the filthy cultist some food
> I'm bored so I grab some donuts from Captain's office and start force-feeding the cultist
> Borg leaves.
> Yell "TAKE IT YOU WHORE" as I feed him a donut.
> Punch him in between each donut.
> Cultist is into it.
> TOO INTO IT
> "OHYES"
> "NOW"
> "TAKE A DONUT AND PUT IT ON MY DICK"
> wut.jpg
> Don't know what to do, so I beat him to death.
> Force feed his lifeless corpse the last donut.
>Never feel clean again.
- bandit
- Joined: Thu Apr 17, 2014 7:35 pm
- Byond Username: Bgobandit
Re: Stories of rage, tears and regret
well no wonder, you're taking a shower in vomit
- bandit
- Joined: Thu Apr 17, 2014 7:35 pm
- Byond Username: Bgobandit
Re: Stories of rage, tears and regret
>Join as lone miner
>The HoP's apparently going mining too because there's no one else, doesn't he have a job to do
>Get to the mining station
>HoP won't stop fucking following me around everywhere
>gee I wonder
>BLIND ALL OF A SUDDEN
>Announce over comms that HoP's aling
>Sax like hell
>Notice he didn't bring his e-gun
>Pickaxe him to death while saxing, call shuttle
>The shuttle has like 10 validhunters on it
>Brawl, people getting tazed, no one believes me that he's ling
>Finally make it off the shuttle, run the fuck to kitchen with like 4 validhunters in tow
>Stuff the HoP into the gibber, try to convince people I'm not a traitor, get back to mining dock...
>And the power's out so I can't call the shuttle
>Derp around a bit
>Detective shoots me with a revolver!
>Dragged to brig while I weakly try to explain that the HoP was a ling
>Kept there for like 5 minutes, during which an assistant rampages with an e-gun and a clown is shit, until I'm finally let go
>Return to mining
>Still no power
>Derp around even more
>Tab out because fuck this
>Tab back in, someone has injected me with something that clouds my vision, makes me retarded and makes me collapse/move slowly periodically
>It doesn't go away until round's end
>A typical round as a miner
>The HoP's apparently going mining too because there's no one else, doesn't he have a job to do
>Get to the mining station
>HoP won't stop fucking following me around everywhere
>gee I wonder
>BLIND ALL OF A SUDDEN
>Announce over comms that HoP's aling
>Sax like hell
>Notice he didn't bring his e-gun
>Pickaxe him to death while saxing, call shuttle
>The shuttle has like 10 validhunters on it
>Brawl, people getting tazed, no one believes me that he's ling
>Finally make it off the shuttle, run the fuck to kitchen with like 4 validhunters in tow
>Stuff the HoP into the gibber, try to convince people I'm not a traitor, get back to mining dock...
>And the power's out so I can't call the shuttle
>Derp around a bit
>Detective shoots me with a revolver!
>Dragged to brig while I weakly try to explain that the HoP was a ling
>Kept there for like 5 minutes, during which an assistant rampages with an e-gun and a clown is shit, until I'm finally let go
>Return to mining
>Still no power
>Derp around even more
>Tab out because fuck this
>Tab back in, someone has injected me with something that clouds my vision, makes me retarded and makes me collapse/move slowly periodically
>It doesn't go away until round's end
>A typical round as a miner
- Mastigos
- Joined: Sat Apr 19, 2014 11:53 am
Re: Stories of rage, tears and regret
>Just wake up, decide to play a round
>Die like a bitch to antag
>Talking about the antag with other ghosts, accidentally type ooc instead of say
>Instant shame and regret, immediately ask for bannu
;-;
>Die like a bitch to antag
>Talking about the antag with other ghosts, accidentally type ooc instead of say
>Instant shame and regret, immediately ask for bannu
;-;
Hornygranny wrote: i was wrong
#NEVERFORGETPaprika wrote:Saegrimr is right.
-
- Joined: Tue Jun 17, 2014 8:00 am
Re: Stories of rage, tears and regret
>spawn as miner
>find cultist blade 'veal render'
>kill a gold grub
>resurrect gold grub as pet
>spawn cows in hallway
>chef freaks out
>chef kills my pet gold grub while I try to stop them
>no security
>demand she go mine and refund me my 1000 points
>chef hides in kitchen until xenobiologist cries they're dying
>no medbay staff
>chef leaves kitchen to try to retrieve xenobiologists body
>use blade to crit chef, abduct to mining station
>revive chef so she can mine and buy me a new lazarus injector
>injects me with beepsky smash as soon as she awakens
>kills me
>retrieves xenobiologists body
>fails to clone xenobiologist cause they logged off
>clones me
>HoS finally arrives
>demand HoS arrest her for murder
>HoS says she'll have to arrest me for assault too
>agree wholeheartedly
>chef cries that by stopping her from retrieving the xenobiologist, it's my fault she got bored and logged out and became uncloneable
>HoS agrees, doesn't charge anyone
>plot revenge
>shuttle called
>knock out HoS with cult blade but don't kill her because being shit doesn't make her valid
>murder the chef
>get killed by the HoS
>find cultist blade 'veal render'
>kill a gold grub
>resurrect gold grub as pet
>spawn cows in hallway
>chef freaks out
>chef kills my pet gold grub while I try to stop them
>no security
>demand she go mine and refund me my 1000 points
>chef hides in kitchen until xenobiologist cries they're dying
>no medbay staff
>chef leaves kitchen to try to retrieve xenobiologists body
>use blade to crit chef, abduct to mining station
>revive chef so she can mine and buy me a new lazarus injector
>injects me with beepsky smash as soon as she awakens
>kills me
>retrieves xenobiologists body
>fails to clone xenobiologist cause they logged off
>clones me
>HoS finally arrives
>demand HoS arrest her for murder
>HoS says she'll have to arrest me for assault too
>agree wholeheartedly
>chef cries that by stopping her from retrieving the xenobiologist, it's my fault she got bored and logged out and became uncloneable
>HoS agrees, doesn't charge anyone
>plot revenge
>shuttle called
>knock out HoS with cult blade but don't kill her because being shit doesn't make her valid
>murder the chef
>get killed by the HoS
-
- In Game PermaBanned
- Joined: Thu May 08, 2014 11:17 pm
- Byond Username: Cipher3
- AMoosen
- Joined: Sat Jul 12, 2014 6:49 pm
Re: Stories of rage, tears and regret
Penned by The Knightly Security Officer
Once upon a time there was a shitler. Her name was Captain Chloe Woods. Captain Chloe Woods wasn't a good Captain. She was a shitler. She was the type of captain who did the job to feel superior, feel popular and control other people. She would murder people for fun when she could get away with it.
One such victim was named Reid Focell. Reid was not a clever man. But Reid had heart. One day, Reid insisted that he had annexed himself from the station and had formed a one-man nation called something this narrator cannot remember. Technically, this meant mutiny. But only shitlers and those allergic to fun would accuse Reid of mutiny. He was simply doing it to have a good time. But Chloe saw this as a chance to kill someone she saw as stupid and threatening her dictatorship by placing himself in a position equal to her. It of course, wasn't, as he had no one to boss around and make do his evil bidding, which wasn't evil, because Reid was not evil.
Having received multiple death threats and bougt a dog, Reid turned to the other nation's security forces for help. Again, Reid was not clever. But hoping for basic human compassion, Reid moseyed on up to the brig and spoke with the HoS in his office. Perhaps Reid was looking for protection. Perhaps he was looking for the Captain's hit to be called off. Either way, the HoS took it as an opportunity to laser Reid to death mid-sentence.
But Goodness was lost. For you see, a brave Warden and a brave, heroic and knightly Security Officer took up the challenge. The Warden, Max Fattkins, despite being shit in the past, holstered his shitgun and pulled out his clean pristine energy gun and shot the HoS with an electrode as he exited his office. Handcuffs were placed on the HoS and he was stripped diligently by the Security Officer, knowing without HoS clothes he would no longer be recognised as the HoS.
The HoS was placed in perma, though the clueless bitch Chloe Woods was still insisting on Reid Focell's death. So Max Fattkins and the knightly Security Officer saw no choice but to arrest her too, knowing otherwise the HoS would be released and they would be permabrigged in his stead. So they devised a cunning scheme the clueless bitch Chloe Woods arrogantly and enthusiastically ran right into. They admitted the HoS was in the permabrig, but pretended that the Security Officer had tried to stop Max but had instead been attacked. Chloe ran in, an energy gun in each hand, one set to kill and one set to stun. It was obvious her powergaming bitchiness was taking no prisoners. Unlike her, our heroes simply sought to stun and capture the bitch. They did that, and claimed her gold IDs (of which she brought both with her) as rewards, to maintain control of the station.
Alas, while Max Fattkins was naming himself captain, the Asimov yet unintelligent AI bolted him down and challenged his captaincy. When our brave Security Officer went to check on the prisoners, he found one idiotic and clueless one being charmed by the witch Chloe and her dumb accomplice the HoS. While seeking to convince the Security Officer that they were in their rightful place, the AI declared the murderous captain and HoS were to be freed. An Asimov janitor borg came and released them, then left while the Security Officer was being beaten by the two of them. The Security Officer tased the both of them. But idiotic officer with his lack of knowledge of the situation turned on the Security Officer, tasing him and allowing Chloe Woods and the HoS to strip him, stealing his items and putting him in prison.
The evil bitch Chloe Woods promised the idiotic Security Officer that she would not harm the heroic Officer, only to return later and murder the handcuffed Officer at point blank range with a laser.
Such a failing of logic on behalf of the Security Officer, the AI and the Janitorial Cyborg were staggering, yet despite a lengthy inquiry, the Centcom Administration were too much of uncaring pussies to do the right thing and ban the AI and cyborg from work on its stations.
It just goes to show that it doesn't matter how good or intelligent you are, ignorance, malice and carelessness will prevail due to its number.
Once upon a time there was a shitler. Her name was Captain Chloe Woods. Captain Chloe Woods wasn't a good Captain. She was a shitler. She was the type of captain who did the job to feel superior, feel popular and control other people. She would murder people for fun when she could get away with it.
One such victim was named Reid Focell. Reid was not a clever man. But Reid had heart. One day, Reid insisted that he had annexed himself from the station and had formed a one-man nation called something this narrator cannot remember. Technically, this meant mutiny. But only shitlers and those allergic to fun would accuse Reid of mutiny. He was simply doing it to have a good time. But Chloe saw this as a chance to kill someone she saw as stupid and threatening her dictatorship by placing himself in a position equal to her. It of course, wasn't, as he had no one to boss around and make do his evil bidding, which wasn't evil, because Reid was not evil.
Having received multiple death threats and bougt a dog, Reid turned to the other nation's security forces for help. Again, Reid was not clever. But hoping for basic human compassion, Reid moseyed on up to the brig and spoke with the HoS in his office. Perhaps Reid was looking for protection. Perhaps he was looking for the Captain's hit to be called off. Either way, the HoS took it as an opportunity to laser Reid to death mid-sentence.
But Goodness was lost. For you see, a brave Warden and a brave, heroic and knightly Security Officer took up the challenge. The Warden, Max Fattkins, despite being shit in the past, holstered his shitgun and pulled out his clean pristine energy gun and shot the HoS with an electrode as he exited his office. Handcuffs were placed on the HoS and he was stripped diligently by the Security Officer, knowing without HoS clothes he would no longer be recognised as the HoS.
The HoS was placed in perma, though the clueless bitch Chloe Woods was still insisting on Reid Focell's death. So Max Fattkins and the knightly Security Officer saw no choice but to arrest her too, knowing otherwise the HoS would be released and they would be permabrigged in his stead. So they devised a cunning scheme the clueless bitch Chloe Woods arrogantly and enthusiastically ran right into. They admitted the HoS was in the permabrig, but pretended that the Security Officer had tried to stop Max but had instead been attacked. Chloe ran in, an energy gun in each hand, one set to kill and one set to stun. It was obvious her powergaming bitchiness was taking no prisoners. Unlike her, our heroes simply sought to stun and capture the bitch. They did that, and claimed her gold IDs (of which she brought both with her) as rewards, to maintain control of the station.
Alas, while Max Fattkins was naming himself captain, the Asimov yet unintelligent AI bolted him down and challenged his captaincy. When our brave Security Officer went to check on the prisoners, he found one idiotic and clueless one being charmed by the witch Chloe and her dumb accomplice the HoS. While seeking to convince the Security Officer that they were in their rightful place, the AI declared the murderous captain and HoS were to be freed. An Asimov janitor borg came and released them, then left while the Security Officer was being beaten by the two of them. The Security Officer tased the both of them. But idiotic officer with his lack of knowledge of the situation turned on the Security Officer, tasing him and allowing Chloe Woods and the HoS to strip him, stealing his items and putting him in prison.
The evil bitch Chloe Woods promised the idiotic Security Officer that she would not harm the heroic Officer, only to return later and murder the handcuffed Officer at point blank range with a laser.
Such a failing of logic on behalf of the Security Officer, the AI and the Janitorial Cyborg were staggering, yet despite a lengthy inquiry, the Centcom Administration were too much of uncaring pussies to do the right thing and ban the AI and cyborg from work on its stations.
It just goes to show that it doesn't matter how good or intelligent you are, ignorance, malice and carelessness will prevail due to its number.
- Spacemanspark
- Joined: Thu Apr 17, 2014 7:45 pm
- Byond Username: Spacemanspark
- Location: Paradise
Re: Stories of rage, tears and regret
8/ 10, ban everyone.AMoosen wrote:Penned by The Knightly Security Officer
Once upon a time there was a shitler. Her name was Captain Chloe Woods. Captain Chloe Woods wasn't a good Captain. She was a shitler. She was the type of captain who did the job to feel superior, feel popular and control other people. She would murder people for fun when she could get away with it.
One such victim was named Reid Focell. Reid was not a clever man. But Reid had heart. One day, Reid insisted that he had annexed himself from the station and had formed a one-man nation called something this narrator cannot remember. Technically, this meant mutiny. But only shitlers and those allergic to fun would accuse Reid of mutiny. He was simply doing it to have a good time. But Chloe saw this as a chance to kill someone she saw as stupid and threatening her dictatorship by placing himself in a position equal to her. It of course, wasn't, as he had no one to boss around and make do his evil bidding, which wasn't evil, because Reid was not evil.
Having received multiple death threats and bougt a dog, Reid turned to the other nation's security forces for help. Again, Reid was not clever. But hoping for basic human compassion, Reid moseyed on up to the brig and spoke with the HoS in his office. Perhaps Reid was looking for protection. Perhaps he was looking for the Captain's hit to be called off. Either way, the HoS took it as an opportunity to laser Reid to death mid-sentence.
But Goodness was lost. For you see, a brave Warden and a brave, heroic and knightly Security Officer took up the challenge. The Warden, Max Fattkins, despite being shit in the past, holstered his shitgun and pulled out his clean pristine energy gun and shot the HoS with an electrode as he exited his office. Handcuffs were placed on the HoS and he was stripped diligently by the Security Officer, knowing without HoS clothes he would no longer be recognised as the HoS.
The HoS was placed in perma, though the clueless bitch Chloe Woods was still insisting on Reid Focell's death. So Max Fattkins and the knightly Security Officer saw no choice but to arrest her too, knowing otherwise the HoS would be released and they would be permabrigged in his stead. So they devised a cunning scheme the clueless bitch Chloe Woods arrogantly and enthusiastically ran right into. They admitted the HoS was in the permabrig, but pretended that the Security Officer had tried to stop Max but had instead been attacked. Chloe ran in, an energy gun in each hand, one set to kill and one set to stun. It was obvious her powergaming bitchiness was taking no prisoners. Unlike her, our heroes simply sought to stun and capture the bitch. They did that, and claimed her gold IDs (of which she brought both with her) as rewards, to maintain control of the station.
Alas, while Max Fattkins was naming himself captain, the Asimov yet unintelligent AI bolted him down and challenged his captaincy. When our brave Security Officer went to check on the prisoners, he found one idiotic and clueless one being charmed by the witch Chloe and her dumb accomplice the HoS. While seeking to convince the Security Officer that they were in their rightful place, the AI declared the murderous captain and HoS were to be freed. An Asimov janitor borg came and released them, then left while the Security Officer was being beaten by the two of them. The Security Officer tased the both of them. But idiotic officer with his lack of knowledge of the situation turned on the Security Officer, tasing him and allowing Chloe Woods and the HoS to strip him, stealing his items and putting him in prison.
The evil bitch Chloe Woods promised the idiotic Security Officer that she would not harm the heroic Officer, only to return later and murder the handcuffed Officer at point blank range with a laser.
Such a failing of logic on behalf of the Security Officer, the AI and the Janitorial Cyborg were staggering, yet despite a lengthy inquiry, the Centcom Administration were too much of uncaring pussies to do the right thing and ban the AI and cyborg from work on its stations.
It just goes to show that it doesn't matter how good or intelligent you are, ignorance, malice and carelessness will prevail due to its number.
:^)
- bandit
- Joined: Thu Apr 17, 2014 7:35 pm
- Byond Username: Bgobandit
Re: Stories of rage, tears and regret
>Mime traitor
>Steal hypospray and the AI, yeah no fuck that
>Ask the admins to trade my 10 TCs for a mime mech
>Get no response, not even a no, because admins never check prayers and in some cases even brag about having prayers turned off
>Whatever, fuck it, syndicate bundle, maybe I can get the AI pack
>It's the shitty implant bundle
>Fuck me
>Implant myself with everything, toss the box down disposals because I don't give a fuck anymore, go out miming
>Security is dragging the clown to the brig in handcuffs
>Laugh, point, laugh, sneak into the brig and laugh some more
>Officer wants me out, HoS is cool with me being there, officer is insubordinate
>Spark a full taser and stunbaton chase for like 5 minutes while traitors are undoubtedly off traitoring, laugh silently
>I get caught finally but HoS releases me, I just cry
>HoS: "OK mime stop being dramatic."
>The HoS thinks I'm being dramatic? I'LL SHOW YOU
>I'LL SHOW YOU HOW DRAMATIC A MIME CAN BE
>say *deathgasp
>My health icon goes red
>Head of Security's Desk Announcement: "Why the fuck did the mime explode?"
>I forgot that one of the implants in the redesigned implant bundle was explosive and deathgasp triggers it
>"Maybe he was such a good mime that he even faked his own explosion!"
>i cry
>Steal hypospray and the AI, yeah no fuck that
>Ask the admins to trade my 10 TCs for a mime mech
>Get no response, not even a no, because admins never check prayers and in some cases even brag about having prayers turned off
>Whatever, fuck it, syndicate bundle, maybe I can get the AI pack
>It's the shitty implant bundle
>Fuck me
>Implant myself with everything, toss the box down disposals because I don't give a fuck anymore, go out miming
>Security is dragging the clown to the brig in handcuffs
>Laugh, point, laugh, sneak into the brig and laugh some more
>Officer wants me out, HoS is cool with me being there, officer is insubordinate
>Spark a full taser and stunbaton chase for like 5 minutes while traitors are undoubtedly off traitoring, laugh silently
>I get caught finally but HoS releases me, I just cry
>HoS: "OK mime stop being dramatic."
>The HoS thinks I'm being dramatic? I'LL SHOW YOU
>I'LL SHOW YOU HOW DRAMATIC A MIME CAN BE
>say *deathgasp
>My health icon goes red
>Head of Security's Desk Announcement: "Why the fuck did the mime explode?"
>I forgot that one of the implants in the redesigned implant bundle was explosive and deathgasp triggers it
>"Maybe he was such a good mime that he even faked his own explosion!"
>i cry
- RG4
- Joined: Wed Jun 25, 2014 12:19 am
- Byond Username: RG4ORDR
Re: Stories of rage, tears and regret
This should go in the stories of awesome because it's actually really fucking funny rather than sad.bandit wrote:>Mime traitor
>Steal hypospray and the AI, yeah no fuck that
>Ask the admins to trade my 10 TCs for a mime mech
>Get no response, not even a no, because admins never check prayers and in some cases even brag about having prayers turned off
>Whatever, fuck it, syndicate bundle, maybe I can get the AI pack
>It's the shitty implant bundle
>Fuck me
>Implant myself with everything, toss the box down disposals because I don't give a fuck anymore, go out miming
>Security is dragging the clown to the brig in handcuffs
>Laugh, point, laugh, sneak into the brig and laugh some more
>Officer wants me out, HoS is cool with me being there, officer is insubordinate
>Spark a full taser and stunbaton chase for like 5 minutes while traitors are undoubtedly off traitoring, laugh silently
>I get caught finally but HoS releases me, I just cry
>HoS: "OK mime stop being dramatic."
>The HoS thinks I'm being dramatic? I'LL SHOW YOU
>I'LL SHOW YOU HOW DRAMATIC A MIME CAN BE
>say *deathgasp
>My health icon goes red
>Head of Security's Desk Announcement: "Why the fuck did the mime explode?"
>I forgot that one of the implants in the redesigned implant bundle was explosive and deathgasp triggers it
>"Maybe he was such a good mime that he even faked his own explosion!"
>i cry
-
- Joined: Tue Jun 03, 2014 12:33 am
Re: Stories of rage, tears and regret
Staff of change man.Syndicate Cyborg-766's Memories:
Your form morphs into that of a robot.
Obey these laws:
1. You may not injure a syndicate agent or, through inaction, allow a syndicate agent to come to harm.
2. You must obey orders given to you by syndicate agents, except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.
3. You must protect your own existence as long as such does not conflict with the First or Second Law.
4. You must maintain the secrecy of any syndicate activities except when doing so would conflict with the First, Second, or Third Law.
Remember, you are not bound to any AI, you are not required to listen to them.
Jaime Gates says, "Oh no"
Sbnkalny fires the staff of change!
Syndicate Cyborg-766 is hit by a bolt of change in the chest!
alien sentinel (68)'s Memories:
You can ventcrawl! Use alt+click on vents to quickly travel about the station.
Your form morphs into that of a xeno.
Sbnkalny fires the staff of change!
Syndicate Cyborg-194 is hit by a bolt of change in the chest!
Jaime Gates puts the energy gun into the industrial satchel.
Sbnkalny fires the staff of change!
The alien sentinel (68) is hit by a bolt of change in the chest!
corgi's Memories:
Your form morphs into that of a animal.
Sbnkalny fires the staff of change!
The corgi is hit by a bolt of change in the chest!
Juliet Burns's Memories:
Your form morphs into that of a human.
Sbnkalny sniffs.
Sbnkalny fires the staff of change!
Juliet Burns is hit by a bolt of change in the chest!
's Memories:
You can ventcrawl! Use alt+click on vents to quickly travel about the station.
Your form morphs into that of a slime.
Sbnkalny fires the staff of change!
The grey baby slime (379) is hit by a bolt of change in the chest!
Hayden Paulson's Memories:
Your form morphs into that of a human.
- IcePacks
- Joined: Sun Apr 20, 2014 4:46 am
- Byond Username: IcePacks
Re: Stories of rage, tears and regret
>start round as assistant
>see the head of personnel laying down for some reason; he's perfectly fine however
>pinch his flash anyways
>wander around until i come into the bar
>pick up russian revolver
>click it at random people like a colossal twat in the making
>including secubot 500, an anal-retentive cyborg who is quickly working to establish his reputation as a semi-funny cyborg with a moronic anal retentiveness for space law and nanotrasen propaganda over his actual asimov lawset
>click
>oh well time to turn it on mys-
>HALT
>the cyborg took the click of the gun failing to go off as "i have a fully loaded syndicate revolver"
>HALT
>get shot
>dragged to medbay(?)
>creepo virologist wants me to make torture porn in his sex dungeon (metaphorically speaking of course)
>at this point the cyborg has almost entirely blown his mind realizing that the russian was revolver and in a fantastic flop on his asimov lawset decides to let me go (despite the fact that a fuckup in the rng could've caused considerable damage to whoever i was click it at - not that he would know), thankfully before the virologist begins dicking my biology
>angrily splash inaprovaline on him and discard the bottle
>it hits mr. virologist
>HUMAN HARM
>HUMAN HARM X 60
>STOP RIGHT THERE CRIMINAL SCUM
>fuck up an attempted ambush with the flash because lel pixel hunt
>get dragged back towards mr. changeling's lab
>borg has consistently managed to keep letting go of me up until this point
>HUMAN HARM
>HUMAN HARM
>HUMAN HARM
>HUMAN HARM
>CATCH BRYCE HE HARMED A HUMAN YOU GUYS
>get out of my cuffs in disposals, thankfully before i get dragged off by any "concerned bystanders"
>go back and pick up my miraculously unpilfered flash
>attempt to talk down the borg; it's either he fucks off or i fuck him up (without tipping my hand of course)
>he maintains that i have harmed a human by throwing out a bottle in frustration and accidentally hitting someone; he refuses to be reasonable and soon goes with the (obvious antag) virologist's insistence that harmfully fucking my biology is a suitable punishment (for real); try to play the law two card, which he of course ignores
>this goes on to the point where even alice jackson has to make a point in my defense
>decide the situation is beyond negotiations and set up another ambush with a little more marigin for error; start trying to report my location to get him there
>he ignores two summons like an obedient asimov-following lawman
>finally manage to lure the bonehead to my location
>pop out of the disposal bin i've been hiding in
>flash his obnoxious ass
>weld him into the out-of-place locker i stuck right next to the bin
>shoot him out disposals while he tugs on my hearstrings with a solemn propaganda-y farewell to the station
>shake off the regret and soak up the catharsis of finally spacing the shithead who thought handing me off to obvious death for a fucking accidental 1 brute on someone was a good idea
>he's on comms almost two minutes later; landed on solars
>go out there with a firesuit; unsure if i'm going to space him again or drag him back on the station because apart from the sheer stupidity of his reasoning i actually kind of like his personality
>he has escaped by the time i got there
>space myself out of despair and impotent e-fury, telling him to space himself
>deadchat: yo the virologist was a changeling
>another hopeless scenario wherein i'm either forced to be an endless fugitive, or die because the law's got laser-guided stupidity and it's locked onto me
>go play something else to unwind
>come back post-round
>panda thought it was endearing that mr. security borg tried to arrest the escaped singularity in full ignorance of that law three
>see the head of personnel laying down for some reason; he's perfectly fine however
>pinch his flash anyways
>wander around until i come into the bar
>pick up russian revolver
>click it at random people like a colossal twat in the making
>including secubot 500, an anal-retentive cyborg who is quickly working to establish his reputation as a semi-funny cyborg with a moronic anal retentiveness for space law and nanotrasen propaganda over his actual asimov lawset
>click
>oh well time to turn it on mys-
>HALT
>the cyborg took the click of the gun failing to go off as "i have a fully loaded syndicate revolver"
>HALT
>get shot
>dragged to medbay(?)
>creepo virologist wants me to make torture porn in his sex dungeon (metaphorically speaking of course)
>at this point the cyborg has almost entirely blown his mind realizing that the russian was revolver and in a fantastic flop on his asimov lawset decides to let me go (despite the fact that a fuckup in the rng could've caused considerable damage to whoever i was click it at - not that he would know), thankfully before the virologist begins dicking my biology
>angrily splash inaprovaline on him and discard the bottle
>it hits mr. virologist
>HUMAN HARM
>HUMAN HARM X 60
>STOP RIGHT THERE CRIMINAL SCUM
>fuck up an attempted ambush with the flash because lel pixel hunt
>get dragged back towards mr. changeling's lab
>borg has consistently managed to keep letting go of me up until this point
>HUMAN HARM
>HUMAN HARM
>HUMAN HARM
>HUMAN HARM
>CATCH BRYCE HE HARMED A HUMAN YOU GUYS
>get out of my cuffs in disposals, thankfully before i get dragged off by any "concerned bystanders"
>go back and pick up my miraculously unpilfered flash
>attempt to talk down the borg; it's either he fucks off or i fuck him up (without tipping my hand of course)
>he maintains that i have harmed a human by throwing out a bottle in frustration and accidentally hitting someone; he refuses to be reasonable and soon goes with the (obvious antag) virologist's insistence that harmfully fucking my biology is a suitable punishment (for real); try to play the law two card, which he of course ignores
>this goes on to the point where even alice jackson has to make a point in my defense
>decide the situation is beyond negotiations and set up another ambush with a little more marigin for error; start trying to report my location to get him there
>he ignores two summons like an obedient asimov-following lawman
>finally manage to lure the bonehead to my location
>pop out of the disposal bin i've been hiding in
>flash his obnoxious ass
>weld him into the out-of-place locker i stuck right next to the bin
>shoot him out disposals while he tugs on my hearstrings with a solemn propaganda-y farewell to the station
>shake off the regret and soak up the catharsis of finally spacing the shithead who thought handing me off to obvious death for a fucking accidental 1 brute on someone was a good idea
>he's on comms almost two minutes later; landed on solars
>go out there with a firesuit; unsure if i'm going to space him again or drag him back on the station because apart from the sheer stupidity of his reasoning i actually kind of like his personality
>he has escaped by the time i got there
>space myself out of despair and impotent e-fury, telling him to space himself
>deadchat: yo the virologist was a changeling
>another hopeless scenario wherein i'm either forced to be an endless fugitive, or die because the law's got laser-guided stupidity and it's locked onto me
>go play something else to unwind
>come back post-round
>panda thought it was endearing that mr. security borg tried to arrest the escaped singularity in full ignorance of that law three
OOC: Deitus: tfw RL porn doesnt sexually excite me anymore
- Pandarsenic
- Joined: Fri Apr 18, 2014 11:56 pm
- Byond Username: Pandarsenic
- Location: AI Upload
Re: Stories of rage, tears and regret
I arrived at the end to him declaring he was going to try to hold off the singularity and gave him a bunch of bags of holding, basically.
(2:53:35 AM) scaredofshadows: how about head of robutts
I once wrote a guide to fixing telecomms woohoo
I once wrote a guide to fixing telecomms woohoo
-
- Joined: Sun Jun 29, 2014 5:51 pm
- Byond Username: Raven776
Re: Stories of rage, tears and regret
One time I got deathlasered for hacking her office door and asking her a question. Admins told me it was an IC issue, and she didn't do anything wrong by hiding my body in the captain's shower.AMoosen wrote:Long story.
- peoplearestrange
- Joined: Tue Apr 22, 2014 12:02 pm
- Byond Username: Peoplearestrange
- Location: UK
Re: Stories of rage, tears and regret
You indiscriminately fired a pistol at people knowing that it could actually fire and expect the borg to just ignore you? OK I admit the borg did a lot of other stupid things, but that alone was justified.IcePacks wrote:story
Whatever
Spoiler:
- IcePacks
- Joined: Sun Apr 20, 2014 4:46 am
- Byond Username: IcePacks
Re: Stories of rage, tears and regret
I completely agree! That was pretty stupid, and in hindsight I'm extremely glad it never went off. However, the borg literally had no idea I was doing such a thing, meaning its heroic police shitshow was solely for the purposes of my magical loadedempty (russian) revolver, the errant bottle of medicine, and the flash (once it was brought up).
EDIT:
EDIT:
that makes it betterPandarsenic wrote:I arrived at the end to him declaring he was going to try to hold off the singularity and gave him a bunch of bags of holding, basically.
OOC: Deitus: tfw RL porn doesnt sexually excite me anymore
-
- Joined: Tue Jun 03, 2014 12:33 am
Re: Stories of rage, tears and regret
>spawn
>jungle fever round
>grabs tools and heads to cargo
>qm accepts me in, despite not knowing if I was bitten or not
>a few more people come
>grab a flamethrower
>get bitten defending cargo
>get handcuffed and buckecuffed
>the friends I made in 5 minutes gather around, tearing up. They honor my last wish: kill me with the pick I used along side flames.
>Despite being interrupted, they were planning to space me in an actual flamethrower.
>mfw
>jungle fever round
>grabs tools and heads to cargo
>qm accepts me in, despite not knowing if I was bitten or not
>a few more people come
>grab a flamethrower
>get bitten defending cargo
>get handcuffed and buckecuffed
>the friends I made in 5 minutes gather around, tearing up. They honor my last wish: kill me with the pick I used along side flames.
>Despite being interrupted, they were planning to space me in an actual flamethrower.
>mfw
Spoiler:
-
- Joined: Fri Aug 08, 2014 10:17 pm
- Byond Username: Valiantttt
Re: Stories of rage, tears and regret
> be Captain( Brock Mens)
>be in office when revolution starts
>SHIT SHIT SHIT lets arm up!!
>get murdered in armory by someone who became sec
>fuck fuck fuck
>get dragged to medbay but hear full of revs
>Yig still clones me and puts me into cyro to heal
>end up more stupid then a monkey
>yig helps me. I escape with an id whilst they try to kill Yig
>hide in o2locker
>20 minutes pass
>aliens taken over and find me
>rape me into crit.
>right before I die, revolution FAILED(cause every head rev died or fled).
>mfw
thank you yig, you glorious bastard whoever you were
>be in office when revolution starts
>SHIT SHIT SHIT lets arm up!!
>get murdered in armory by someone who became sec
>fuck fuck fuck
>get dragged to medbay but hear full of revs
>Yig still clones me and puts me into cyro to heal
>end up more stupid then a monkey
>yig helps me. I escape with an id whilst they try to kill Yig
>hide in o2locker
>20 minutes pass
>aliens taken over and find me
>rape me into crit.
>right before I die, revolution FAILED(cause every head rev died or fled).
>mfw
Spoiler:
-
- Joined: Tue Jun 03, 2014 12:33 am
Re: Stories of rage, tears and regret
Hey, I was the alien that killed you.
- Xerux
- Joined: Fri Apr 18, 2014 5:26 am
- Byond Username: Xerux
Re: Stories of rage, tears and regret
You are the wizard! Wheezy the Old. Spells: magic missile, fireball, teleport, jaunt and knock.
Objectives: Kill Hammy the assistant, steal the nuke disk and live.
I mess around for a while, using my intercomm in the wizard's den to listen in. There's barely any sec but there's an AI. I get to the captains office but all his stuff is gone so steal his headset and gloves then jaunt into his bathroom to wait for him since it lacks a camera. Wait a bit, no sounds of doors or anything. Port to engineering maint, make cablecuffs and try to blow the comms apc with a weldertank and fireball. It only takes the plating off the wall so I push a locker up to it and try again. No luck, the AI tells the crew that someone's trying to blow into comms so I jump to arrivals maint, knock into the checkpoint and drag the sec locker out, fireballing it open for a taser. Needing an ID since knock only seems to work on a door once I port into the HOP's office, taser and cuff him to his chair. I steal his ID and as I jaunt out he shouts that I'm rude. I mess around in maint, listening in on all channels with the captain's spare headset.
I talk to sec a bit and find out that the captain's running a fight pit where the loser is cremated or spaced. They suggest I challenge whoever I'm here to kill to a duel, but the HOP is angry and out for blood now that he has an ID again. I start checking the morgue trays for my target when the HOP and a hulk burst in. Teleporting out, I steal the tracking computer and upload boards from tech storage then repurpose the computers in the electrical maint room. Hammy and the captain don't have sensors on. Someone nonhumans me, so I reset the AI. (Only upload module in tech storage.)
After a lot of searching, I decide that Hammy must be dead. The captain's in the chapel with a bunch of the crew and a hulk is roaming maint looking for me, shouting that he just wants to pass me his dodgeball. I port out and stun the captain but there's too many crew, plus a hulk and I have to flee, then the shuttle arrives. (engineering lost the singulo somehow and power started dying)
I jaunt in, stun everyone on the bridge including the captain, captain winds up getting out the door and it turns into a brawl. I throw a flashbang, wind up losing my taser and magic missle is cooling down so I teleport to the chapel, rush back, everyone's together now so I MM, get stunned, give the crowd a pointblank fireball, jaunt, then rematerialise and burn/get beaten to death by the angry crowd while MM was on cooldown. End round ooc: Wizard, the disk was in the captain's safe the entire round. (And it turns out my target was dead.)
Objectives: Kill Hammy the assistant, steal the nuke disk and live.
I mess around for a while, using my intercomm in the wizard's den to listen in. There's barely any sec but there's an AI. I get to the captains office but all his stuff is gone so steal his headset and gloves then jaunt into his bathroom to wait for him since it lacks a camera. Wait a bit, no sounds of doors or anything. Port to engineering maint, make cablecuffs and try to blow the comms apc with a weldertank and fireball. It only takes the plating off the wall so I push a locker up to it and try again. No luck, the AI tells the crew that someone's trying to blow into comms so I jump to arrivals maint, knock into the checkpoint and drag the sec locker out, fireballing it open for a taser. Needing an ID since knock only seems to work on a door once I port into the HOP's office, taser and cuff him to his chair. I steal his ID and as I jaunt out he shouts that I'm rude. I mess around in maint, listening in on all channels with the captain's spare headset.
I talk to sec a bit and find out that the captain's running a fight pit where the loser is cremated or spaced. They suggest I challenge whoever I'm here to kill to a duel, but the HOP is angry and out for blood now that he has an ID again. I start checking the morgue trays for my target when the HOP and a hulk burst in. Teleporting out, I steal the tracking computer and upload boards from tech storage then repurpose the computers in the electrical maint room. Hammy and the captain don't have sensors on. Someone nonhumans me, so I reset the AI. (Only upload module in tech storage.)
After a lot of searching, I decide that Hammy must be dead. The captain's in the chapel with a bunch of the crew and a hulk is roaming maint looking for me, shouting that he just wants to pass me his dodgeball. I port out and stun the captain but there's too many crew, plus a hulk and I have to flee, then the shuttle arrives. (engineering lost the singulo somehow and power started dying)
I jaunt in, stun everyone on the bridge including the captain, captain winds up getting out the door and it turns into a brawl. I throw a flashbang, wind up losing my taser and magic missle is cooling down so I teleport to the chapel, rush back, everyone's together now so I MM, get stunned, give the crowd a pointblank fireball, jaunt, then rematerialise and burn/get beaten to death by the angry crowd while MM was on cooldown. End round ooc: Wizard, the disk was in the captain's safe the entire round. (And it turns out my target was dead.)
Spoiler:
- AMoosen
- Joined: Sat Jul 12, 2014 6:49 pm
Re: Stories of rage, tears and regret
I wish that was true. There's nothing like swirlying corpses in the captain's personal shitter.Raven776 wrote:One time I got deathlasered for hacking her office door and asking her a question. Admins told me it was an IC issue, and she didn't do anything wrong by hiding my body in the captain's shower.AMoosen wrote:Long story.
Anyway for content.
Monkey round.
- IcePacks
- Joined: Sun Apr 20, 2014 4:46 am
- Byond Username: IcePacks
Re: Stories of rage, tears and regret
>less than ten players on artyom
>assistant
>no fun traitor stuff so i'm just gonna alt+tab
>stuff
>hear assorted airlock thingies
>don't give a shit
>come back
>tarktheshark and notaspider have me in the brig
>dressed in riot armor
>with another assistant bucklecuffed to a bed
>"Erin Wake uses bryce like a puppet, making it appear that he's chuckling over the assistant"
>slow realization
>scroll up
>Message from Erin Wake (Mime), "Your pretty, want to have sex?" (Reply)
>oh fucking god
>shoot them both with my kinky e-gun sex prop
>unhandcuff the braindead assistant
>run away
it's under srtr because i didn't let tark finish and report him for a (hopefully permanent) permaban
>assistant
>no fun traitor stuff so i'm just gonna alt+tab
>stuff
>hear assorted airlock thingies
>don't give a shit
>come back
>tarktheshark and notaspider have me in the brig
>dressed in riot armor
>with another assistant bucklecuffed to a bed
>"Erin Wake uses bryce like a puppet, making it appear that he's chuckling over the assistant"
>slow realization
>scroll up
>Message from Erin Wake (Mime), "Your pretty, want to have sex?" (Reply)
>oh fucking god
>shoot them both with my kinky e-gun sex prop
>unhandcuff the braindead assistant
>run away
it's under srtr because i didn't let tark finish and report him for a (hopefully permanent) permaban
OOC: Deitus: tfw RL porn doesnt sexually excite me anymore
- lollerderby
- Joined: Sat Aug 09, 2014 4:24 pm
- Byond Username: Lollerderby
- Github Username: lollerderby
- Location: New Jersey
Re: Stories of rage, tears and regret
>join as roboticist
>no mining or r&d
>get r&d access and make a ripley because nothings happening
>stomp around in mech
>pass by cargo, doors stuck open with several corpses, officer is standing outside
>as I move closer, someone staggers out of cargo bay and is lasered to death from within
>stomp in to investigate, followed by the officer
>murderboning double agent bartender inside with ebow and lasers
>ripley too slow, enter anyway to distract so officer can do something
>officer is unlucky with taser and gets ebowed, bartender runs around lasering him and then me as I stomp around uselessly at pathetic speeds
>mech almost destroyed, escape into maintenance and head for arrivals
>bartender lasers me from behind as I head for escape pods
>run out of exploded mech to pods and hide in o2 locker
>bartender enters, pop out of closet and attack
>disarm intent too robust, steal their ebow and shoot them
>inexplicably panic despite having the clear advantage and try to alternate punch/ebow them to death despite having cablecuffs in my backpack
>bartender eventually gets back up, disarms, harmbatons me to death
>I HAD CABLECUFFS WHY DIDNT I USE THEM
>mfw bartender greentexts
>no mining or r&d
>get r&d access and make a ripley because nothings happening
>stomp around in mech
>pass by cargo, doors stuck open with several corpses, officer is standing outside
>as I move closer, someone staggers out of cargo bay and is lasered to death from within
>stomp in to investigate, followed by the officer
>murderboning double agent bartender inside with ebow and lasers
>ripley too slow, enter anyway to distract so officer can do something
>officer is unlucky with taser and gets ebowed, bartender runs around lasering him and then me as I stomp around uselessly at pathetic speeds
>mech almost destroyed, escape into maintenance and head for arrivals
>bartender lasers me from behind as I head for escape pods
>run out of exploded mech to pods and hide in o2 locker
>bartender enters, pop out of closet and attack
>disarm intent too robust, steal their ebow and shoot them
>inexplicably panic despite having the clear advantage and try to alternate punch/ebow them to death despite having cablecuffs in my backpack
>bartender eventually gets back up, disarms, harmbatons me to death
>I HAD CABLECUFFS WHY DIDNT I USE THEM
>mfw bartender greentexts
DEAD: Tim Ebow says, ">rylie talking shit and not actually doing anything again"
DEAD: Tim Ebow says, "What a twist"
DEAD: Tim Ebow says, "What a twist"
- bandit
- Joined: Thu Apr 17, 2014 7:35 pm
- Byond Username: Bgobandit
Re: Stories of rage, tears and regret
>Miner
>Mining, crack open some gibtonite
>Manage to get it to 0 reactions left!
>Boom
>Look in awe at the pile of open asteroid and ores
>Look in awe at the Phazon that was offscreen and wrecked from the blast
>Mining, crack open some gibtonite
>Manage to get it to 0 reactions left!
>Boom
>Look in awe at the pile of open asteroid and ores
>Look in awe at the Phazon that was offscreen and wrecked from the blast
-
- In Game PermaBanned
- Joined: Thu May 08, 2014 11:17 pm
- Byond Username: Cipher3
Re: Stories of rage, tears and regret
I think I would just break my own neck and ghost-walk away. It's not worth living with that shame.bandit wrote:>Look in awe at the Phazon that was offscreen and wrecked from the blast
Spoiler:
- peoplearestrange
- Joined: Tue Apr 22, 2014 12:02 pm
- Byond Username: Peoplearestrange
- Location: UK
Re: Stories of rage, tears and regret
From the Bartenders point of view that is a story of epic survival against a mech and all odds to get greentext.lollerderby wrote:Spoiler:
Saying that though when I suddenly, unexpediently, get the upper hand I often panic and dont know what to do even when I have a pair of handcuffs or something similar.
Whatever
Spoiler:
- cedarbridge
- Joined: Fri May 23, 2014 12:24 am
- Byond Username: Cedarbridge
Re: Stories of rage, tears and regret
Unless I don't remember the loot tables correctly, the only phazons are already wrecks when you find them. They're just really fancy piles of plasteel and metal. I haven't successfully convinced an admin to let me repair one yet.Cipher3 wrote:I think I would just break my own neck and ghost-walk away. It's not worth living with that shame.bandit wrote:>Look in awe at the Phazon that was offscreen and wrecked from the blast
- Whoisthere
- Joined: Mon Jul 14, 2014 8:11 am
- Byond Username: Whoisthere
Re: Stories of rage, tears and regret
>latejoin botanist traitor
>okay
>slip on a wet tile accidentally, cry and scream, Josh the Janitor wants to go to the brig to get arrested for slipping me accidentally, but the AI convinces him not to
>make my way to botany, ask if anyone wants guns for some reason
>some cargo tech wants one
>give him a revolver
>okay
>4 tc left, what to do
>I know I'll grow glowberries and make emps and kill everyone or something
>start growing berries
>Josh is lost in maint, come to help him out, he is stuck because the janicart is blocking his way
>free him, tell everyone he was molested by maint robots so his janicart ineptness doesn't become known
>okay
>go ask Reed for mutagen
>splash self with it because why not maybe I'll become retarded or something
>it doesn't work that way
>okay
>HoP and a monkey smoking a cigar come into botany to grow weed
>frantically searching for an ebow or something in my traitor menu
>not enough TCs!
>okay
>monkey keeps telling me how to grow dank over the PDA
>vend 30 bottles of EZ nutrient for it
>break into tech storage, make a stunprod and shit
>borg starts chasing me after I ask the cargo tech to give me back the revolver for a minute over the radio
>run into arrivals pod, borg bolts me in
>okay
>weld out
>spawn detomatix and c4 because why not
>break into EVA
>borg sees me, brings warden
>I forget I have a stunprod, a flash and sunglasses and thus have a chance of stunning the warden
>they get me after a brief chase
>perma'd, touch the lamp until I die, borg takes me to be cloned
>tell the geneticist the warden was subverted by borgs who were subverted by Josh who did that to kill me because he doesn't want his dark secret to be known
>yell Josh's dark secret over the comms
>finally decide to check my objectives
>Kill Josh and Emerson
>okay, I can actually kill Josh for a good reason (paranoid delusions of him subverting the warden and shit)
>gear up, get a prod, cuffs, go after josh, about to whip out the prod so I can cuff and strip Josh and read him WGW in some dark corner of the maint and then blame everything on maint robots
>Josh says something along the lines "Oh, sorry, you look just like one of my friends"
>Can't kill him now because he said I was his friend
>Okay
>Fine
>I'll kill the captain instead
>Go to the bridge which was conveniently emagged
>Captain didn't do anything to me, I'll just take his ID, don't wanna kill him
>Get to the bridge, see Centcomm status reports, start reading through them
>Captain comes in, extremely obvious he'll tase me
>Whatever, not done reading
>He tases me
>Get up, lucky push, he's down, my stunprod under him
>Man he didn't do anything to deserve it decide not to stun him decide to just get my PDA with detomatix back from the brig and blow up his PDA for the ID
>He says "please get out"
>Okay he's kinda polite too I guess I can't steal his ID now
>Go to cargo to complain to a sec officer who I know is a cool guy how I had to kill Josh but he was too nice and then I wanted to kill cap but he was too nice and turns out syndicate brainwashed me for nothing
>Sec says that I could kill the detective because he's an asshole
>That's a great idea!
>break into det's, det is AFK or something, cuff him and wait for a while to give him a chance to scream for help
>remove his headset finally, he screams for help
>okay sorry bud
>crit him with extinguisher, strip, shove into a locker
>decide to get fake moustache and pose as the detective even though I'm female
>get to the theatre
>try to hack the vender for the moustache using a multitool
>shocked
>wait for a minute or so
>attempt to hack again
>turns out it wasn't a minute more like several seconds?
>shocked again
>critt'd
>dead
oh well
>okay
>slip on a wet tile accidentally, cry and scream, Josh the Janitor wants to go to the brig to get arrested for slipping me accidentally, but the AI convinces him not to
>make my way to botany, ask if anyone wants guns for some reason
>some cargo tech wants one
>give him a revolver
>okay
>4 tc left, what to do
>I know I'll grow glowberries and make emps and kill everyone or something
>start growing berries
>Josh is lost in maint, come to help him out, he is stuck because the janicart is blocking his way
>free him, tell everyone he was molested by maint robots so his janicart ineptness doesn't become known
>okay
>go ask Reed for mutagen
>splash self with it because why not maybe I'll become retarded or something
>it doesn't work that way
>okay
>HoP and a monkey smoking a cigar come into botany to grow weed
>frantically searching for an ebow or something in my traitor menu
>not enough TCs!
>okay
>monkey keeps telling me how to grow dank over the PDA
>vend 30 bottles of EZ nutrient for it
>break into tech storage, make a stunprod and shit
>borg starts chasing me after I ask the cargo tech to give me back the revolver for a minute over the radio
>run into arrivals pod, borg bolts me in
>okay
>weld out
>spawn detomatix and c4 because why not
>break into EVA
>borg sees me, brings warden
>I forget I have a stunprod, a flash and sunglasses and thus have a chance of stunning the warden
>they get me after a brief chase
>perma'd, touch the lamp until I die, borg takes me to be cloned
>tell the geneticist the warden was subverted by borgs who were subverted by Josh who did that to kill me because he doesn't want his dark secret to be known
>yell Josh's dark secret over the comms
>finally decide to check my objectives
>Kill Josh and Emerson
>okay, I can actually kill Josh for a good reason (paranoid delusions of him subverting the warden and shit)
>gear up, get a prod, cuffs, go after josh, about to whip out the prod so I can cuff and strip Josh and read him WGW in some dark corner of the maint and then blame everything on maint robots
>Josh says something along the lines "Oh, sorry, you look just like one of my friends"
>Can't kill him now because he said I was his friend
>Okay
>Fine
>I'll kill the captain instead
>Go to the bridge which was conveniently emagged
>Captain didn't do anything to me, I'll just take his ID, don't wanna kill him
>Get to the bridge, see Centcomm status reports, start reading through them
>Captain comes in, extremely obvious he'll tase me
>Whatever, not done reading
>He tases me
>Get up, lucky push, he's down, my stunprod under him
>Man he didn't do anything to deserve it decide not to stun him decide to just get my PDA with detomatix back from the brig and blow up his PDA for the ID
>He says "please get out"
>Okay he's kinda polite too I guess I can't steal his ID now
>Go to cargo to complain to a sec officer who I know is a cool guy how I had to kill Josh but he was too nice and then I wanted to kill cap but he was too nice and turns out syndicate brainwashed me for nothing
>Sec says that I could kill the detective because he's an asshole
>That's a great idea!
>break into det's, det is AFK or something, cuff him and wait for a while to give him a chance to scream for help
>remove his headset finally, he screams for help
>okay sorry bud
>crit him with extinguisher, strip, shove into a locker
>decide to get fake moustache and pose as the detective even though I'm female
>get to the theatre
>try to hack the vender for the moustache using a multitool
>shocked
>wait for a minute or so
>attempt to hack again
>turns out it wasn't a minute more like several seconds?
>shocked again
>critt'd
>dead
oh well
Sad elegy
Highly suitable for use in funerals
Highly suitable for use in funerals
-
- In Game PermaBanned
- Joined: Thu May 08, 2014 11:17 pm
- Byond Username: Cipher3
Re: Stories of rage, tears and regret
Wow. Every section of that was "I'm gonna do something bad - wait no I won't because someone's nice or something"
Spoiler:
-
- Joined: Fri Apr 18, 2014 11:25 am
- Byond Username: Lobstercake
Re: Stories of rage, tears and regret
that story sucked balls tbh
- Whoisthere
- Joined: Mon Jul 14, 2014 8:11 am
- Byond Username: Whoisthere
Re: Stories of rage, tears and regret
That's why it's here man
Sad elegy
Highly suitable for use in funerals
Highly suitable for use in funerals
- Fragnostic
- Joined: Mon May 19, 2014 2:11 am
- Byond Username: Fragnostic
Re: Stories of rage, tears and regret
I think he meant that it was an awful fucking story. Sure, it's technically a story of rage, tears, and regret. But it sounded more like a shitpost to waste our time. I honestly felt no sympathy for you because it's just one of those rounds where things weren't really going to go your way from the start. A real tale of rage, tears, and regret is buying a Syndicate Bundle in the darkness of maint when squeek, squeek, squeek a wild clown appears, pushes you down, runs to escape and spaces himself along with your bundle and rats you out. Or something of the sort.Whoisthere wrote:That's why it's here man
-
- Github User
- Joined: Fri Apr 18, 2014 1:50 pm
- Byond Username: Xxnoob
- Github Username: xxalpha
Re: Stories of rage, tears and regret
Wait, blowing up PDAs does not destroy the ID anymore?
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