The Hammershield Chronicles: ReDorfed

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Mon Mar 16, 2015 3:39 pm #75921

Bottom post of the previous page:

Becasue of how slow it is moving i can give a nice play by play. next spike surge killed a salt demon, cripped a diamond one and slashed the throat of a winged brute. The frontrunner winged brute is in the crusher hall and none of the crossbowmen are firing at him for some fucking reason. We will see if he can slip past the crusher bridges or not in a moment here.

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Mon Mar 16, 2015 3:43 pm #75923

Armok has forsaken us. Apparently the great toad in the sky didn't want people cheesing the circus or something, because this is what happened when we tried to crush the bastard.

Spoiler:

Jack shit. That guy is pretty wounded, so it is going to be down to our untrained mass of spearmen to take it out. Armok help us all. I have a contingency bridge that seals off the rest of the fort, now is a good time to activate it

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Mon Mar 16, 2015 3:56 pm #75926

Battle has been joined, a recruit has already died. More demons are slipping the net, some with only superficial injuries. The marksdorfs are still not fucking shooting anything and i do not know what their fucking problem is.

Spoiler:

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Mon Mar 16, 2015 4:00 pm #75927

FPS has started to recover somewhat. Militia are making a valient effort against the demons but i fear it will not be enough.

Spoiler:

The marksdwarves got caught in a blast of god knows what extract. Good riddance, i hope the cowardly shits all die. Armok demands blood you assholes

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Mon Mar 16, 2015 4:06 pm #75928

Battle rages. Our men have put some hurt on the beasts, but we are dying too quickly, and too many are getting past. Even so, our spike traps have racked up quite a body count. Paragon of Justice Urist McSpaceDorf has fallen, his head exploded by one of the monsters. Vekter, captain of the militia was killed after exploding the torso of a great diamond worm.

Spoiler:

In other news i fucked up wiring the contingency bridge, so we are all going to die. Riperroni.

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Mon Mar 16, 2015 4:11 pm #75929

The melee militia have all died, slain by the monstrous horde that boiled forth. Not satisfied, they began to return from the dead for another try, and yet got smote once again. The monsters seem to not be concerned with reaching the upper levels quickly, so a wall to stop them may yet be created.

Spoiler:

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Mon Mar 16, 2015 4:15 pm #75931

The marksdwarves have begun to bleed all over the place and die. Since there are no combat reports i can only assume it is the negative effects of breathing deadly dust. Good riddance, the fuckers essentially doomed the for by not shooting at anything.

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Mon Mar 16, 2015 4:26 pm #75932

Frantically, Inguz the bowyer attempts to build a wall sturdy enough to hold back the demonic tide. Once the sounds of carnage and screaming began to echo up from below they pulled the lever, only to discover that wastrel Feretal was to enamoured with his death machine to wire the damn thing! Those who remained above began to throw up a wall in a panicked frenzy, but the sounds of battle had faded from below and the monsters would be upon them in no time.

Spoiler:

A few levels below, Tedward Shadow and Scones sit in the level room. They know there is no escape now, and that their attempt to take on the underworld has failed them miserably. Still they shift the lever, hoping to kill as many of the bastards as they can with what time they have left. They reminisce about the last few years on this accursed island, and sip at the stockpile of fine beer stacked up for the siege. It had been one hell of a ride. They toast to their successes and wait for death. Tedward's only regret is that he never got to be queen. Shadow gets an idea. If he can mine some stone, they can maybe wall themselves off and make for the surface! The others are skeptical but agree to help

Spoiler:

This is the state of our mighty trap. There are a ton of dead demons in the spike hall but many more still below in the caverns. They seem to not be too interested in moving upward, so our remaining founders may yet have hope!

Spoiler:

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Mon Mar 16, 2015 4:40 pm #75933

Success! The remaining founders have survived, and the demons are once again sealed. they have a large supply of booze, raw eggs and plump helmets to tide them over until a rescue can be made. It is not a glamorous life, but it beats dying. Our population has dropped from 88 to 13 in the span of a day. The fortress is pretty well rekt and demons are still all around. This brings us to a crossroads. What do we do now?

We can bust out the founders and abandon the fort. They will all go their separate ways, catch a ride back to the mainland with the next caravan and live dorfy lives until they die from goblins or some shit. We can even make a new fort and hope to see them as migrants.

We can also just keep trucking. Our population will recover, but the FPS might never bounce back. Of our named dorfs only Scones, Shadow, Tedward, Giest and Rubesh have survived. It may be best to let it die, but i leave it up to you guys to decide

EndgamerAzari · Mon Mar 16, 2015 4:55 pm

As FUN as this whole fort has been, I think it might be entertaining to see a fort that actually has a slight chance. Maybe somewhere where the land itself isn't actively plotting our demise.

ShadowDimentio · Mon Mar 16, 2015 5:21 pm

As usual, my incredible wit saves not just me, but any other chucklefucks that happen to be near me.

But yeah since this place is fucked I vote we take the surviving named dorfs and make another fort in another world and start anew, having now learned that toying with clowns is a bad idea.

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Mon Mar 16, 2015 5:51 pm #75940

If we are gonna do a new fort i vote we stick to this world. We might get our old dorfs as migrants and we can help our shitty parent civ, the Whips of Combating actually defeat the goblins for a change.

EndgamerAzari · Mon Mar 16, 2015 6:29 pm

>inb4 something horrible swims from the island and rips the shit out of the new fort

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Mon Mar 16, 2015 7:36 pm #75959

Well we technically released underworld demons into the second cavern layer. Toady was planning on released demons become mobile armies once hell is breached, but i do not know if it was implemented yet. The fun part is that nearly every released baddie is really fucked up from the spikes, most are missing a limb or two. Feretal's legacy lives on. So what do you guys think, abandon and make a new spessfort?

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Mon Mar 16, 2015 7:42 pm #75962

I will also be giving names to all the survivors so we can recognize them if they show up in our new fort.

ThanatosRa · Post by **ThanatosRa** » Mon Mar 16, 2015 7:50 pm #75964

Shits fucked. New Fort.

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Mon Mar 16, 2015 7:58 pm #75966

Apparently the second Lumi Phaeron had two kids and a husband who all survived. The father is a ledgendary farmer who for some reason has really good striking and other unarmed combat skills. I hope we get that guy. Anyways everyone is named, gonna wait for a few more to chime in before we actually start anew.

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Mon Mar 16, 2015 8:02 pm #75968

Also start submitting names for the starting seven of the next fort. They can be the same as your last dorfs with the exception of shadow scones tedward and giest, as we may be seeing them again

ThanatosRa · Post by **ThanatosRa** » Mon Mar 16, 2015 8:11 pm #75970

I also hope for the dwarven Monk farmer.

Eeh... Eponymous or Eponymous Rex for .... whatever, I dunno, Trap making?

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Mon Mar 16, 2015 8:13 pm #75972

Oh dear sweet Armok help us

Spoiler:

They are breeding down there. Time to get the fuck out

Malkevin · Post by **Malkevin** » Mon Mar 16, 2015 8:33 pm #75976

Wyzack wrote:Apparently the second Lumi Phaeron had two kids and a husband who all survived. The father is a ledgendary farmer who for some reason has really good striking and other unarmed combat skills. I hope we get that guy. Anyways everyone is named, gonna wait for a few more to chime in before we actually start anew.

If I was married to Lumi I'd get pretty damn good at wife beating striking too

edit: dibs being one of the miraculous seven this time

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Mon Mar 16, 2015 8:51 pm #75979

The rest of the year was a somber one, the remaining 13 dwarves of Hammershield trucking through as best as they were able. There was no need for work, as there was a massive stockpile of food and drinks, more than any of them could hope to eat in five lifetimes. Tedward and Shadow took the remainder of the adamantine and minted it into coins. They were all going to leave this ordeal obscenely rich. The time was spent wandering the mostly empty halls, admiring the masterwork engravings and drinking in solemn silence. When the caravan arrived, Tedward arranged for 7000 dorfbucks in meals and coins given to the traders in exchange for transporting the lot of them to the mainland, as well as a Wagon. They moved all their coin as well as some other misellaneous supplies up to the wagon, taking one last tour of their erstwhile home. It was a shithole, but it was their shithole dammit.

As the wagon they rode in trundled away, Tedward shed a single tear, his hopes of being queen put on hold for the time being. They rode away puking all the while, the wagon wheels digging divots in the bitter sludge.

Spoiler:

Thank you to everyone who took part in the story of Hammershield, even if it was just for a short time! It was a blast to run and i will be starting the next fortress shortly.

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Mon Mar 16, 2015 9:01 pm #75982

Alriht for the next seven we got Urist McSpacedorf and Eponymous Rex for our next starters

EndgamerAzari · Mon Mar 16, 2015 9:26 pm

I'll take a starter. Just name 'em Azari so they don't have a gross shitstain of a massive clunky name.

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Mon Mar 16, 2015 11:10 pm #75993

While we wait for the rest of our starting seven i decided to adventure around our mother civ a bit

Spoiler:

No wonder we lose shitloads of wars to goblins, we let the fuckers come and trade with us! Disgusting.

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Mon Mar 16, 2015 11:30 pm #75996

Because i am an impatient shit i may start this game before we get enough responses to fill out our starting seven. In the event this happens i will add people in as they respond in the thread.

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Tue Mar 17, 2015 12:40 am #76003

So i think i found a fun embark site. A freezing calm woodland biome. It is on an island riddled with Golbins, Elves, and humans, but no Dwarves. I propose that for this fortress we build a massive aboveground battle citadel, and make war with everyone who comes to trade with us, except the dwarves. The Whips are tired of getting pushed around, and have commissioned our expedition to turn the tides of war!

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Tue Mar 17, 2015 1:49 am #76011

And as such, our seven new brave dorfs shipped out to found Axecarnage the Fortress of War

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Tue Mar 17, 2015 2:21 am #76016

Urist and his company clutched their garments tightly around them, the wagon trundling through the snow. It had been a harrowing journey through ice and sleet, but finally they had arrived at their destination. This icy hillside would be the site of their grand new construct.

Since the founding of the Whip of Combat at the dawn of time they had been at war with the Distant Poisons across the ocean, a vicious civilization of Goblins lead by a fearsome demon. In recent years the Dwarves had suffered heavy losses, culminating in the loss of one of its major baronys, Judgedgates.

Spoiler:

The Dwarf sites are in the red boxes, with the goblin sites on the right at the beginning of the green arrows.

In a daring attempt to turn the tide, an expedition was sent in to the Goblin continent. The idea is to create a strongpoint from which the dwarves can make war on the distant poisons, a mighty unconquerable citadel. Urist would return glory to his people or die trying

tedward1337 · Post by **tedward1337** » Tue Mar 17, 2015 8:03 am #76043

Hopefully my dwarf appears in this new fort. Maybe I will rise to barony one day.

Post by **lumipharon** » Tue Mar 17, 2015 8:17 am #76045

Malkevin wrote:If I was married to Lumi I'd get pretty damn good at wife beating striking too

You wouldn't be doing the beating.

Hopefully my family does all right, and maybe appears at our new fort (do they have names?).

Until then, send forth my brave dorf, Dongers!

It would be neat if we managed to breed something big and angry like some rocs, otherwise just and endless labyrinth of traps for the fortress sounds good.

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Tue Mar 17, 2015 12:10 pm #76055

Dongers is in. Tedward would you like to name a second dorf while we wait for the return of Teddorf?

They arrived at the predetermined location for the fort, their breath crystallizing into small clouds. It was only the 8th of sandstone (October) and already all this damnable snow! Urist seemed undaunted by the weather, surveying the area and mentally mapping out his mighty fortress. Everyone else was just yelling at Saravesh the miner to get some goddamn earth over their heads before they all froze to death out here. She began to dig a small hole into the side of the hill, the fisherman Ingish lending a hand.

Spoiler:

As the official leader of the expedition, Azari began to fell some trees to make a campfire and some beds and had the others collect it in a pile while they waited for a proper dwarven hovel to stash it in. If this is what autumn was like, they all wanted to be safe belowground before winter came.

Bonus 3d pic of the embark

Spoiler:

Not bad if you are into all that elfy nature bullshit

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Tue Mar 17, 2015 12:16 pm #76056

Aww yeah. We have already hit both hematite and chalk.

Spoiler:

All we need is coal and we can start churning out steel already. Although there are enough trees that we could probably feed our war machine on charcoal alone.

Malkevin · Post by **Malkevin** » Tue Mar 17, 2015 12:48 pm #76057

Urist McSpacedorf decrees trees are to be cut down for burning, fuck the cannibal hippies

EndgamerAzari · Tue Mar 17, 2015 2:34 pm

Oh God, I'm the leader? My money's on "everyone's eating each other" within a month.

Feretal · Post by **Feretal** » Tue Mar 17, 2015 3:25 pm #76077

I finally died doing what I loved. I'll put my name in for a dorf

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Tue Mar 17, 2015 4:03 pm #76087

Yes, Feretal the dorf exploded from demon dust spewed by an angry diamond louse who lost 2 limbs to spikes. You really had the highest body count in the fort, i would say about 20 demons outright died to those spikes. Although they were kind of a group effort from the haulers, smiths and the other mechanics.

EndgamerAzari · Tue Mar 17, 2015 4:35 pm

Can we see the profiles of the named dorfs before there are too many of them?

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Tue Mar 17, 2015 5:25 pm #76093

It seems there is a little discontent in our starting seven this time. Our military commander Urist McSpacedorf and our expedition leader Azari seem to hate eachother.

Spoiler:

EndgamerAzari · Tue Mar 17, 2015 5:40 pm

>Broad but weak
>Quick to tire
>Values family greatly, sees friendship as one of the finer things in life, believes that honesty is a high ideal, greatly respects artist and their works
>Really respects those that take the time to master a skill
>Deeply respects eloquent speakers

This dwarf is almost disturbingly like me. Much moreso than that one-eyelidded asshole who last shared my name.

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Tue Mar 17, 2015 5:46 pm #76097

Because the fortress is going to need a lot of aboveground construction, the plan is to build the inhabited areas as horizontal and close to the surface as possible. An area is cut out for a dining hall and construction areas, and Azari instructs Dongers to create some doors to hold back the cold. Azari and Urist argue about the best way to lay out the initial fortress, but eventually come to an uneasy agreement. Definitely some bad blood here.

Here are the other Dorfs

Spoiler:

And here is the new Feretal, you also dislike Azari for whatever reason

Spoiler:

ThanatosRa · Post by **ThanatosRa** » Tue Mar 17, 2015 6:47 pm #76103

... My dwarf is a horrific, obese annoying dark skinned ginger.

I can live with this. I forgot how amazing dorfgen in DF was.

And who the fuck braids their sideburns?

Malkevin · Post by **Malkevin** » Tue Mar 17, 2015 6:50 pm #76104

Queers

tedward1337 · Post by **tedward1337** » Tue Mar 17, 2015 7:36 pm #76105

Wyzack, I think I wanna wait a few more migrant waves before a dorf gets renamed after me. Just in case I return.

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Tue Mar 17, 2015 8:16 pm #76109

You got it Tedward. Keep in mind there are still a miner/fisher and farmer dorf up for grabs in the starting seven.

The basics of dwarven life are set up, underground farms, a dining hall and housing areas. Winter proper has set in and the trees have shed off all their leaves. And they thought it was cold before. Hauling has begun to completely unload the wagon. The plan is to use this first goblin free year to cut a large quantity of stone, and set up our outer perimeter walls before the spring. This plan however relies on the first few waves of migrants showing up. After that is the tree genocide and metalworking.

ThanatosRa · Post by **ThanatosRa** » Tue Mar 17, 2015 8:21 pm #76110

I forget, is it possible to build traps and mechanicals out of Bone?

Because Elf femur spike traps would be amazing.

EndgamerAzari · Tue Mar 17, 2015 8:38 pm

The trees speak to me. They tell me things. Horrible things. They try to make me do horrible things.

Fuck them. I will kill them all and make housewares from their corpses!

ThanatosRa · Post by **ThanatosRa** » Tue Mar 17, 2015 8:44 pm #76116

I just want to make war with the elves then kill them with weapons made from their slain kin.

Post by **lumipharon** » Tue Mar 17, 2015 8:47 pm #76118

>Grey, greasy hair
>Wrinkled
>no chin
>often feels lustful
>poor focus
>shit memory
>stutter whore
>poor analytical abilities
>poor spatial awareness
>believes in harmony but doesn't respect the law

>ugly, horny, mildly retarded and possibly a filthy hippie

O-Ok

At some point I need to build myself a private bedroom/literal autism/rape dungeon fort so I can hide inside triggering traps outside when everyone else is getting eaten by clowns/goblins/elves.

EndgamerAzari · Tue Mar 17, 2015 8:57 pm

Don't forget the virtually-piggy nose!

I was gonna say it sounds like you've got the temperament and mindset for art and stuff like that but then I kept reading. Your dwarf seems to have been dredged from the filter in the shallow end of the gene pool.

ThanatosRa · Post by **ThanatosRa** » Tue Mar 17, 2015 9:00 pm #76121

Mine isn't much better. I don't expect us to survive very long. BUt that's okay. I hope we find the circus again.