The Hammershield Chronicles: ReDorfed

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Tue Mar 24, 2015 2:29 am #77597

Bottom post of the previous page:

He is still with the rest of the refugees from Hammershield, presumably travelling back towards the mountainhomes but i have no way of checking for sure.

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Tue Mar 24, 2015 2:03 pm #77689

Sorry about the realative lack of updates, swamped with school shit. Will try and crank out some updates today

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Tue Mar 24, 2015 2:13 pm #77690

Apparently the moody dwarf who just made an artifact is a bit of a sassy bitch.

http://imgur.com/UHveTCD

It is a loincloth called the Sienna Failure, and it has a picture of that adamantium bucket that was made in Hammershield. I think he is implying Hamershied is a failure, what an ass.

Malkevin · Post by **Malkevin** » Tue Mar 24, 2015 3:09 pm #77698

"Sienna, Italian: Terra di Siena, "Siena earth", is an earth pigment containing iron oxide and manganese oxide. In its natural state, it is yellow-brown and is called raw sienna. When heated, it becomes a reddish brown and is called burnt sienna.[2] It takes its name from the city-state of Siena, where it was produced during the Renaissance.[3] Along with ochre and umber, it was one of the first pigments to be used by humans, and is found in many cave paintings. Since the Renaissance, it has been one of the brown pigments most widely used by artists."

I guess Sienna is a reference to the shit that rained down in Hammershield.

ThanatosRa · Post by **ThanatosRa** » Tue Mar 24, 2015 9:36 pm #77757

Wooooow. Yea Hammershield says fuck you too.

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Wed Mar 25, 2015 2:54 am #77845

Everyone in Axecarnage is on edge. We know the golbins will arrive at any time, but the inticipation is palpable. It is getting colder now (realitivly, anyways) and eventually the caravan arrives.

More bad news, another dwarven holding has fallen, Bridgeevens this time.

We trade some meals for a shitload of goods and send some home pro bono for refugees and shit. Speaking of, more migrants show up

Post by **lumipharon** » Wed Mar 25, 2015 3:02 am #77846

How many dorfs do we have, and do we know how many holds our little dorfdom has (left)?

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Wed Mar 25, 2015 5:15 pm #77959

Our Population is 88, which makes us close to the largest single dwarf hold in terms of population. Here is a picture of our current holdings

http://imgur.com/bfSeX7A

Ours are the holding linked in red, with the other dwarf sights nearby either our old raised/conquered holdings or else in possession of the Orb of Figures, our neighboring dwarven brothers who are less shitty at warfare than us. To put this in perspective our total population is about 800 dwarves, theirs is about 2200.

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Wed Mar 25, 2015 5:29 pm #77962

Ingish and the miners, bored of simply cutting huge rooms to excavate stone, have begun a secret project that they claim is for "Prisoner Management." They can be heard tunneling away below the animal stockpiles.

Azari goes on another tree rampage. We seriously have more wood than we probably will ever use, but it is important to clear any trees near the walls lest they be used as a means for sneaky elves to climb up.

Eponymous and Drynwyn set a number of traps around the outside of the walls, including a few of what Eponymous calls "Autobutchers" Four serrated steel disks that spin upward at whatever poor sap sets them off.

Urist and the Furious Mechanisms have been sparring a lot, and more than half of them are now Axe Lords. The Oily Bowels have been practicing with bone bolts in the target range, and overall our military is moving like a well oiled machine.

Dongers and Balut have been producing massive amount of doors, blocks and beds for the new planned above ground housing areas. They are both near master levels in their crafts.

Last but not least, the new Tedward has become a swordmaster from all his danger room training, watching out for evildoers and cowards with a stern glare.

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Wed Mar 25, 2015 5:32 pm #77964

Oh also that Jaguar we got is now a war jaguar, and has been assigned to Tedward to help keep the peace and raise moral. Don't fuck with the law in this fort.

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Wed Mar 25, 2015 5:44 pm #77965

Behold (on the left side there), our great labyrinth!

http://imgur.com/sv1jOQn

Full of twists, turns, and a few rooms, the plan here is to seed it with a bunch of Trogs, mole dogs and other nasties, and then strip prisoners and toss em down the hole.

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Wed Mar 25, 2015 5:47 pm #77966

While building new surface one of our brilliant dwarf folk decided to build a floor anchored to nothing. It promptly collapse on to her a fucked up her lung. Dongers now has a partner in respiratory difficulties! Assuming she survives Balut's treatment, that is.

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Wed Mar 25, 2015 6:27 pm #77972

Another artifact! This one is a blood red flute carved from hematite.

http://imgur.com/Gh3E2ME

On the side there is a needlessly graphic picture of Urist mangling the torso of the first elf ever to set foot in Axecarnage. It is pretty cool, i would mount it in the dining hall if i could.

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Wed Mar 25, 2015 6:46 pm #77973

We mass pit the huge quantity of cave critters was have captured into our new death pit. Some of them get fucked up when they hit the floor, some start killing eachother but most spread out throughout the maze. It is going to become a miasma choked maze full of deadly predators in no time.

http://imgur.com/lmUBnzL

EndgamerAzari · Wed Mar 25, 2015 7:02 pm

What is it with this fort and people getting their lungs ruined by cave-ins?

DEATH TO THE TREES

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Wed Mar 25, 2015 7:19 pm #77977

I am starting to think that leather gloves do not give adequate protection, a new recruit just got a finger lopped off by the danger room training spears.

tedward1337 · Post by **tedward1337** » Wed Mar 25, 2015 7:44 pm #77987

k e k
Maybe make it chainmail gloves?

Malkevin · Post by **Malkevin** » Wed Mar 25, 2015 7:52 pm #77990

Wyzack wrote:Another artifact! This one is a blood red flute carved from hematite.

http://imgur.com/Gh3E2ME

On the side there is a needlessly graphic picture of Urist mangling the torso of the first elf ever to set foot in Axecarnage. It is pretty cool, i would mount it in the dining hall if i could.

I approve, and encourage more renditions of my bloody gory exploits.

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Wed Mar 25, 2015 9:39 pm #78029

We are essentially just waiting for a seige now, which can apparently take a shitty long time to happen in the newest version of the game. We have a few options here.

1: Pass the time as quickly as possible. I will run the game in the background near constantly, and give updates on important events that happen and ensure there is food/booze to be had.

2: We undertake a project to pass the time. Something that can occupy our 30 something idlers while we wait for goblins to show up

3: We let the fort run on its own for a while, make an adventurer dorf, go to the goblin's dark fortress and try to assassinate their demon godking

4: same as above, but we build another challenge fort and leave axecarnage to its devices.

As a side note, Dongers has been possessed by a Fey Mood!

ThanatosRa · Post by **ThanatosRa** » Wed Mar 25, 2015 9:42 pm #78031

Wyzack wrote:We mass pit the huge quantity of cave critters was have captured into our new death pit. Some of them get fucked up when they hit the floor, some start killing eachother but most spread out throughout the maze. It is going to become a miasma choked maze full of deadly predators in no time.

http://imgur.com/lmUBnzL

YES MY PRETTIES. Your Master Rex demands you proliferate and grow in your new home! Soon... Soon you will be fed.

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Wed Mar 25, 2015 9:46 pm #78033

WELL FUCK ME SIX WAYS TILL SUNDAY, IT IS HAPPENING!

http://imgur.com/mtzsx7q

SHUT THIS MOTHER FUCKER DOWN! ENEMY AT THE GATES! TO BATTLESTATIONS BROTHERS!

Everyone is confined to the Inside burrow, and the levers are set to close the gates. Gonna position our boys nearby in case it does not happen quick enough. Time to show these green skinned shit eaters what real dwarven might is like.

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Wed Mar 25, 2015 9:51 pm #78038

The gates slam shut and the goblins kinda stop pathing. I think they only sent one squad, the stupid cads. Our three melee squads are positioned at the front gates and they are thrown wide, bring it on, bitches!

ThanatosRa · Post by **ThanatosRa** » Wed Mar 25, 2015 9:55 pm #78040

Now i forget how some of this stuff works... couldn't we have like... seige weapons on the walls and fire down at them?

Drynwyn · Post by **Drynwyn** » Wed Mar 25, 2015 10:00 pm #78042

ThanatosRa wrote:Now i forget how some of this stuff works... couldn't we have like... seige weapons on the walls and fire down at them?

No, but we have BALLISTA BUNKERS. Or so I'm told. We did finish the ballista bunker, right? I gots to get my impale on.

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Wed Mar 25, 2015 10:02 pm #78044

Azari rises to the battlements to flip the gate lever. Through the masterwork window he can see a few of the goblins have moved up there to kill the poor horse sentry that was tethered.

http://imgur.com/89iQ0RF

He pulls the lever, and with a grinding of stone machinery the drawbridge slams down to reveal the mighty army of Axecarnage, led by ten elite Dwarven Axelords. Urist gives a rousing battle cry and sprints from the gatehouse towards a flurry of goblin arrows, his comrades right behind him.

http://imgur.com/sGpRWgR

Urist may be an Axelord, but he still loves to throw down fisticuffs whenever he gets the chance. He also seems to have literally delivered a flying kick that exploded a guy's hand. Jesus.
Anyways, the defenders pour forth from the maw of the castle like a tide of death, cutting down the puny invading force in droves.

http://imgur.com/DNdTlcv

EndgamerAzari · Wed Mar 25, 2015 10:05 pm

I love how Urist seems to be constantly commenting on how horrific all the carnage is while he is the number one cause of it.

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Wed Mar 25, 2015 10:10 pm #78046

A handful of goblins remain, standing in place near the side of the castle. Rather than hide behind the walls, our soldiers run at the enemy full tilt.
I present the final thoughts of the last goblin in the invading force

http://imgur.com/y2Keqdc

The Ruthlessness of Feet insults us with this tiny and pathetic invasion force. We are not some dwarven hillock you can pillage with a handful of goblin brigands! The only injuries received are a bruise on the arm of one recruit and some mental trauma all around. Most of the army now has the getting used to tragedy tag, which is a good thing.

I had the ballista ready to fire but they were on the wrong side so we didnt get to use it unfortunatly. Also no prisoners, which clearly means we need more cage traps.

Axecarnage holds, goblinshits try harder.

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Wed Mar 25, 2015 10:14 pm #78048

The alerts are called off and dwarves begin stripping the dead invaders of anything useful. Fortress armsmen are given a reprieve from their training in celebration, and a grand feast is has with the finest plump helmet stews and coyote brain roasts for all!

EndgamerAzari · Wed Mar 25, 2015 10:20 pm

I like to think that that last goblin wasn't decapitated, he just had his neck cut off somehow without moving the head.

Post by **lumipharon** » Wed Mar 25, 2015 11:24 pm #78071

The first victory against the goblin menace. The capital will be glad when they hear of this.

Also did Dongers end up making something with her fey mood?
Urist needs some kind of rediculous goblin and/or elf bone crown or something, literally blowing goblins apart with a swift kick, Jesus Christ how horrifying.

tedward1337 · Post by **tedward1337** » Wed Mar 25, 2015 11:26 pm #78073

Did you let any gobbo's go? I wish you wouldve sent at least one home crying about how badass the fort is.

ThanatosRa · Post by **ThanatosRa** » Wed Mar 25, 2015 11:44 pm #78075

NO SURVIVORS. Never survivors. None must speak of Axecarnage, and it's prowess must only be spoken of in rumor. Armies Enter, and are never heard from again.

Also, We need a bigger labyrinth. I wish for Eponymous to be some sort of twisted labyrinth master.

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Wed Mar 25, 2015 11:53 pm #78077

Yeah, there were no survivors. Dongers is grabbing shitloads of bones for whatever it is she is making, and she couldnt reach them with the goblins around. Now that the siege is gone she is working her one remaining lung overtime trying to haul all the needed materials around. Will post results.

Also elves came. We used them as target practice for our marksdorf militia.

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Thu Mar 26, 2015 12:06 am #78081

Dongers made this dope cabinet. No cool engravings though

http://imgur.com/wxRDOxz

I will stick it in the nobles quarters

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Thu Mar 26, 2015 2:39 am #78148

Holy shit guys, this mayor is not like other nobles. He is a freak of nature. One of our milita types is having some really bad thoughts from seeing all the murder. So he goes to cry on someone in charge. Guess what the mayor thought about that?

He felt EMPATHY! FRIGGIN EMPATHY! I thought nobles were physically unable to feel sorry for unhappy citizens, but there you go. Our mayor is a nice noble with reasonable demands.

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Thu Mar 26, 2015 5:12 am #78180

The labyrinth has failed us. The olms killed all the mole dogs and trogs, the draltha killed the olms and then the giant toads killed the draltha. There is two giant toads, one troglodyte and a shitload of bodies down there.

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Thu Mar 26, 2015 5:18 am #78182

The humans come to trade and congratulate us on our victory, the pile of goblin bones a testament to our fortress. We do the usual, trade meals for ingredients to make more meals. The trader turns a massive profit and promises to bring more goods next time. It is dangerous for them to come all the way out here in goblin territory but the trade is oh so worth it.

EndgamerAzari · Thu Mar 26, 2015 8:58 pm

Wyzack wrote:Holy shit guys, this mayor is not like other nobles. He is a freak of nature. One of our milita types is having some really bad thoughts from seeing all the murder. So he goes to cry on someone in charge. Guess what the mayor thought about that?

He felt EMPATHY! FRIGGIN EMPATHY! I thought nobles were physically unable to feel sorry for unhappy citizens, but there you go. Our mayor is a nice noble with reasonable demands.

>Cares about citizenry
>Concerned with popular opinion and morale
>Reasonable demands
>Not a megalomaniac

Is this guy dorf Jesus or something

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Thu Mar 26, 2015 9:36 pm #78317

More migrants. We seem to be getting quite a few teenage dwarves with no skills, probably more refugees. We are now the largest settlement in all the Whip of Combating, which is funny because we are essentially right on the doorstep of one off our greatest enemies. We also have a massive and masterfully trained militia, as well as a huge number of traps and fortifications. I wonder if any goblins would be able to conquer us if we retired the place.

Malkevin · Post by **Malkevin** » Thu Mar 26, 2015 9:56 pm #78325

Teenagers you say?
No skills you say?
From tragic backgrounds?

Hm...

[youtube]Nrd1FH6no_s[/youtube]

Drynwyn · Post by **Drynwyn** » Fri Mar 27, 2015 1:36 am #78435

aw yeah, sabaton, malk knows where it at

Balut · Post by **Balut** » Fri Mar 27, 2015 5:11 am #78495

Wyzack wrote:Dongers and Balut have been producing massive amount of doors, blocks and beds for the new planned above ground housing areas. They are both near master levels in their crafts.

Awww yeah, blocks

Wyzack wrote:Oh also that Jaguar we got is now a war jaguar, and has been assigned to Tedward to help keep the peace and raise moral. Don't fuck with the law in this fort.

AWWW YEAH, WAR JAGUARS.

That kick and that mayor. Can I vote for him next election?

Also when you say I'm a master in my craft, you mean doctoring, right? ...Right? Damn. Is there like a way to train doctoring or something or what? Were there any injuries among our Dorfs, or am I still being a useless CMO?

DemonFiren · Post by **DemonFiren** » Fri Mar 27, 2015 12:05 pm #78561

Jaguwars FTW.

Also, >cmo >not inept
Excuse me, I believe you need a reality check.

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Fri Mar 27, 2015 2:38 pm #78615

No Balut, i mean carpentry. I set you up to do that job on the side and you got really good at it. The fact of the matter is that aside from the occasional cave in we do not get that many injuries, and we have recieved lots of migrants with really high medical skills. So you just get to be their bumbling boss, and do the occasional diagnosis or suture.

Balut · Post by **Balut** » Fri Mar 27, 2015 11:59 pm #78785

Sads.

Oh well. At least I get to have a super cushy room.

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Mon Apr 06, 2015 1:50 am #80560

Hey there dorfs, in case you didnt notice i got distracted with other stuff and this kinda fell by the wayside. Not to mention in all the years it was active Axecarnage saw one paltry invasion of 8 goblins.

I am looking to get back into it, and have been looking in particular at the new reboot of the masterwork mod. It adds a ton of FPS improving features and new races and stuff, while attempting to not get massively bloated with shitty features like the old masterwork did. Most notably you can play kobold fortress now, a mode with no digging and different workshops and stuff. Another feature is there are now something like 15 different species that can assault your new fortresses and stuff, and you will never have a year without any invasion of some kind.

So assuming anyone still gives a shit and would be interested, here are our options:

1: Continue Axecarnage. I still have the save and everything. Although if we do this i think we should perform some kind of rediculous undertaking to cause some sort of excitement and get it killed, FPS was tanking hard

2: Start a new masterwork fortress. This one will be beset on all sides by the armies of evil, and hopefully be a little more exciting

3: Start a kobold warren. Diminutive little reptillian creatures living in a shitty cave, ranching giant cave spiders and venemous snakes, and killing invaders with poison darts

I suppose option 4 is no one gives a shit and i sit here bitterly weeping at my computer, but hey, we will see.

Malkevin · Post by **Malkevin** » Mon Apr 06, 2015 8:56 am #80593

I really want to see our army battle against a full goblin invasion, the goblins will keep invading with more and more goblins

ThanatosRa · Post by **ThanatosRa** » Mon Apr 06, 2015 3:13 pm #80636

I say continue axe carnage. Something is sure to happen.

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Mon Apr 06, 2015 3:54 pm #80641

The dorfs have spoken, and so Axecarnage shall continue

ThanatosRa · Post by **ThanatosRa** » Mon Apr 06, 2015 6:09 pm #80667

Worst case scenario, we can destroy ourselves with a megaproject gone wrong, or looking for the circus.

Balut · Post by **Balut** » Tue Apr 07, 2015 3:41 am #80804

I was gonna say Masterwork it. Low FPS is a terrible thing for anyone to deal with.