The Hammershield Chronicles: ReDorfed

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Tue Mar 10, 2015 2:20 pm #74754

So all of our beautiful thread was lost due to goddamn haxxors. Truly this is the greatest loss of the forum purge. I will dump a few releavent pics of the fort as well as go over some new stuff that happened during the forum crash that i could not update.

As you may or may not know, Hammershield is a hole in the ground on a haunted island in the middle of the ocean. The dead randomly spontaneously come back to life, it rains bitter red sludge that makes you puke violently if it touches you, and the second cavern layer is a clusterfuck battleground of cavern monsters vs zombie cavern monsters. In spite of it all, we dorf have been able to thrive. Trudging through the muck and piles of bones you would eventually see our not-so-grand tower sticking out of the landscape, defiant of the elements and flocks of zombie storks.

Spoiler:

We have a fortified tower, a grand dining hall, and all the mugs you can eat. Under the stalwart leadership of Tedward (and to a lesser degree Giest Dangerous) our dorfs have managed to brave the dead and the muck and actually make a name for ourselves. We traded so much shit in the last caravan we are essentially guaranteed to become a barony next year. However some tragedy did occur while i was playing.

Spoiler:

It all started with this guy. Was stuck on the roof of the tower in his own blood, piss and vomit getting mauled for like a week. The zombie barn owl had its talons in the poor guy's skull shaking him all around, but could not seem to finish him off. The Helps showed up and saved the guy, but no one brought him to the hospital for whatever reason. They left him exposed to the elements until he could stand on his own again. Tough love i guess. He wandered around the fortress for another week or so until he keeled over and died. My guess is infection, but he never got treated so i dunno.

Anyways we hauled him off to the corpse pile but someone forgot to lock the door for a precautionary period. Nothing had reanimated in there in some time so i guess we were a little complacent. He decided to get some revenge for no one helping him off the roof.

He first shuffled by the crypt where young Anon5 was playing with her figurines. Rather than cower in fear like most children, Anon5 gave a feral scream and threw herself at the creature.

Spoiler:

The mind thirsted for the blood of the undead, but the body was childlike and frail. She died a warrior's death, and thus ended the family line of Anon3 Avalezum. Armok take their souls.

A few others died to the beast, including the second Lumi Pheron, but eventually Vekter put the beast down.

Spoiler:

These corpses all got safely locked away, Hammershield endures. We have a decent stockpile of adamantium now, and our idlers need a new project to work on. There was talk of a massive magma pump stack, or even releasing the forces of hell to battle the undead in the second cavern layer. Any votes? Any other ideas?

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Tue Mar 10, 2015 4:41 pm #74774

Armok seems to be punishing us with low fps, and this time i have no idea what the fucking problem is. Lumi came back from the dead in the corpse pile. I sent in the Help to put her down, but apparently it was not her pathfinding causing issues. Culling the undead in zombie fight club didn't seem to help either. I am optimizing what i can but i have no idea why it would drop off so drastically.

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Tue Mar 10, 2015 4:48 pm #74775

Also we got our first metalsmith mood. He may have created the most valuable bucket in all of creation.

Spoiler:

Got a sweet lion picture on it. I envy the prisoners and patients that get to drink water from this bad boy

DemonFiren · Post by **DemonFiren** » Tue Mar 10, 2015 5:03 pm #74778

Mandatory bucket-kicking joke here.

tedward1337 · Post by **tedward1337** » Tue Mar 10, 2015 5:18 pm #74781

Release the spirits of hell into the second cavern layer

Laugh as a eternal fight rages on

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Tue Mar 10, 2015 7:24 pm #74804

It seems a restart was all we needed for Armok to grant us our FPS back, praise him.

Urist McSpaceDorf stepped down as guard captain to kill his fellow countryman with hammers full time, so Giest used his political clout to get his older brother promoted to the job. Damn politicians.

Plans are finalised to bring the circus to the caverns. I just culled the undead to try and salvage FPS, so will will give them some time to repopulate before we make it happen

Malkevin · Post by **Malkevin** » Tue Mar 10, 2015 7:39 pm #74808

I still vote for purging the surface world with magma.

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Tue Mar 10, 2015 8:02 pm #74810

Honestly i am way too casul at this game to do all that pumpstack biz, have never been real good with pumps in this game.

Peeking around on the surface it seems we have some local populations of honeybees buzzing around the muck and pollinating the eyestalk plants and wriggling worm bushes. Mead seems cool. Our few local beekeepers create some hive boxes and set them up in the tower to start production.

It is also getting pretty crowded in the dining hall, so a new statue garden is carved out to give our dorfs a new place to loiter in style.

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Tue Mar 10, 2015 8:35 pm #74812

This might be our most bizarre tragedy yet, we have lost our beloved militia commander, Coravin Vattes. We were trying to breed some captured cave crocodiles when one of them forgot their training and started attacking people. tons of dorfs ran into the room and circle beat the poor croc to death with no injuries, and then this happened

Spoiler:

As far as i can tell the thresher got attacked, dodged, and slammed into Coravin. Coravin landed on the rough cave floor throat first and burst his jugular. He then stood up, proclaimed he was fine, and kept beating the shit out of the croc till he bled to death on his feet. A noble death if i have ever seen one

Malkevin · Post by **Malkevin** » Tue Mar 10, 2015 8:50 pm #74813

Tis merely a flesh wound

ThanatosRa · Post by **ThanatosRa** » Tue Mar 10, 2015 10:54 pm #74825

Wyzack wrote:Also we got our first metalsmith mood. He may have created the most valuable bucket in all of creation.

Spoiler:
Got a sweet lion picture on it. I envy the prisoners and patients that get to drink water from this bad boy

Lion Tamarin. I'm sorry to disappoint you.

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Tue Mar 10, 2015 11:23 pm #74832

Do not know how the fuck i missed that, but i suppose a giant Lion Tamarin would still be pretty terrifying

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Wed Mar 11, 2015 1:56 am #74855

preparations are made for the breaching. Zon Ilralneth is chosen to be the sacrifice to make the breaches, a duty he accepts willingly. He has no family to speak of.

I will be keeping a backup in case this reks our FPS too badly

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Wed Mar 11, 2015 2:06 am #74856

Also we finally got the first fortress birth. I was beginning to think the bitter sludge was making our dorf sterile

Spoiler:

Behold, Dorf babby is made. Demon v zombie carnage to follow

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Wed Mar 11, 2015 2:26 am #74858

Shadow was the one who built the final wall that sealed Zon's fate. "Go well, brother. We will sculpt great works of your sacrifice." Zon nodded grimly, gave a final look, and descended the stairs to his grisly task. He had a masterwork meal, some fine booze, and had no regrets about his life. He would become immortal in dwarven literature. He first knocked a hole through to the cavern layer. He could hear the undead about, but did not stick around to meet them. He had other plans. The undead Elk birds were hot on his tail now. He sprinted down the stairs until he could feel the heat of the magma, and tunneled downward as fast as he could. Just as the others said, after a few layers the cave gave way to open space, and he could hear awful things far below, things never meant to be set free. Armok forgive him, he had created Armageddon.

Spoiler:

All manner of horrors burst forth from the gap he had created

Spoiler:

Zon closed his eyes and embraced oblivion

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Wed Mar 11, 2015 2:32 am #74859

A bloodbath followed. The demons tore through the shuffling undead with no resistance, gleeful to finally be free of their eternal prison.

Spoiler:

They boiled forth like a horrifying tide, out into the caverns to wreak more mayhem

Spoiler:

tedward1337 · Post by **tedward1337** » Wed Mar 11, 2015 2:53 am #74861

Have they breached the main fort??

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Wed Mar 11, 2015 3:01 am #74862

Alright guys, we did it. Demons prowl the caverns, free to conqor the world as soon as they find a way topside. We have a few options here.

We can kill em with DFHACK magic, and they will probably make some very fun zombies. We can also roll back the save and pretend it never happened. They are eating some FPS though, and i would like them gone

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Wed Mar 11, 2015 3:01 am #74863

Also no, the main fort is fine and safe

Feretal · Post by **Feretal** » Wed Mar 11, 2015 3:13 am #74865

Normal demons are bad but zombie demons sounds like too much Fun. If our military is strong enough we could fight them?

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Wed Mar 11, 2015 12:54 pm #74934

I suppose we could try. The ones made of smoke and ash will probably die in one hit, but the ones made of diamond and salt are gonna be pretty unkillable. Even if we give every dorf a crossbow we will probably not make it

Not-Dorsidarf · Wed Mar 11, 2015 1:20 pm

diamond zombie demons?

Holy shit hardcore.

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Wed Mar 11, 2015 1:26 pm #74943

Yeah fighting the underworld is like battling an army of forgotten beasts, they all have poison blood, syndrome extracts that explode in clouds or fire breath. Also they are intelligent enough to talk, which is pretty frightening

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Wed Mar 11, 2015 7:54 pm #74974

The horrid beasts scratch at walls, but the barrier of rock and craftsdwarfship holds them at bay for now.

Spoiler:

Still need a decision on what to do with them

As a side note i was looking at the latest engravings in the new statue garden

Spoiler:

Ever the optimist, Tedward has engraved murals of nearly every appointment to militia commander since Hammershield's founding. all eventually died except Vekter, the current commander.

Malkevin · Post by **Malkevin** » Wed Mar 11, 2015 10:23 pm #74993

By Armok's beard, you did it - you actually did it, you released the clowns!

Damn you! Damn you all to hell!

ThanatosRa · Post by **ThanatosRa** » Wed Mar 11, 2015 10:28 pm #74995

Zombie Clowns must be. THEY MUST BE.

EDIT: Or, bunker down in the fort... but work on releasing the clowns on a world tour.

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Fri Mar 13, 2015 2:30 pm #75399

So i was thinking. What if we armed every dorf in hmmershield with a crossbow and bolts, and then made the clonws run a massive fortification maze through alternating crusher bridges to where our militia is waiting to fight any survivors?

tedward1337 · Post by **tedward1337** » Fri Mar 13, 2015 2:57 pm #75401

Hue, that sounds like a damn good idea.

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Sat Mar 14, 2015 5:14 pm #75531

Alright, getting this train wreck back on track.

An executive decision was made. Hammershield would destroy these fiends or die trying. The entire fortress industry began to churn out materials needed for the war effort. The miners began to carve out the killzone, a winding maze of fortifications into which the dwarves would rain death. The massive number of anvils accrued over Giest's madates were turned into forges for the creation of steel bolts. Our precious candy turned into the finest armor for our current armed forces, who were putting in overtime in the danger room.

Hammershield was going to war.

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Sat Mar 14, 2015 5:25 pm #75533

Feretal, with the assistance of the other fortress mechanics, began designing a massive gauntlet of traps. The first is a narrow hallway of spikes, and the second a wider hall with alternating retracting bridges that will slam to the ground. All of these will be synced to a single level. During the invasion a few dwarves will be locked in a room with the lever to ensure it is thrown in an alternating pattern. A massive quantity of steel spikes and mechanisms are slated to be produced, as well as another push for minerals to feed the war machine.

Militia composition is going to be split between crossbowdwarves and speardwarves, with the Helps of Fortifying leading the melee component. If all goes as planned the melee troops will not even see action, but in the even a few slip through we will attempt to drown them in a sea of bodies.

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Sun Mar 15, 2015 3:21 pm #75741

Spring rolls back around, starting our fourth year in this slime soaked death pit. Some Migrants show up and clamor through the slime into the fortress. They are all immediatly handed crossbows and told to practice up because shit is gonna get real.

Coal is proving a real roadblock in our preparation activities. Everything has been dug and bridges set up to create our perfect death maze. all we need now are the spikes, bridges and militia.

Spoiler:

Here are the early schematics of what our final stand will look like. Those bridges all raise to wall off the direct path and made the demons follow our trapped hallway. First is a gauntlet of spikes. 2 spikes per tile, most iron but some steel. They are all going to be linked to a single lever in an above room. 3 dorfs are locked in with this lever ensuring it will constantly be pulled. Next up is the crusher hall. alternating crusher bridges will be linked to that same lever. At the same time, 40 marksdorfs will sit behind the fortifications and fire volleys of iron bolts at the beasts. Any survivors will path directly into a small room to deal with 25 speardorfs, as well as the now candy clad Helps of Fortifying. If all that fails, then the fortress will truly be lost and the demons free to roam the island and eventually pillage the surface world. Gods forgive us for what we intend to do.

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Sun Mar 15, 2015 3:36 pm #75742

During the hustle and bustle of war prep a moody dwarf made this buckler

Spoiler:

I guess he really liked asparagus? Anyways, Vekter will be carrying this badboy into combat

Feretal · Post by **Feretal** » Sun Mar 15, 2015 4:32 pm #75751

This is gonna be great

DemonFiren · Post by **DemonFiren** » Sun Mar 15, 2015 8:07 pm #75778

Asparagus buckler, eh?

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Mon Mar 16, 2015 12:36 am #75817

Alright my dorfs, we are oh-so close to the time of war now. The spikes are set and rigged, the maze is dug, and the militia have been drafted.

Spoiler:

The areas have nearly been smoothed out, and great effigies of gods, battles and heroes adorn the final room, that blood may be spilled upon them. Because of the syndrome clouds and blood the demons possess, it is likely that even if we kill them all our warriors will not survive. It is equally likely that in doing so we are turning our beloved home into a necropolis, a mighty citadel for the dead. All dorfs know the risk, and yet work on with grim and dogged determination. Hammershield dwarves are nothing if not tough

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Mon Mar 16, 2015 12:46 am #75820

Alright fellas, it is showtime. I will post a breakdown of important events with as many pictures as i can manage

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Mon Mar 16, 2015 1:00 am #75825

The Earthen Lightning, the Ochre Conquerors and the Granite Canyons take position behind the fortifications, and the drawbridge slams shut behind them. Many have never fired a crossbow in their lives, and yet here they stand to defend their homes. The Oaken Crafts, the Bald Syrups, the Mechanical Wrath and the Gilded Beaches all stand in the engraved melee chamber, ready to smash any who survive the trapped hallway on a wall of spears. In front of them stand the legendary Helps of Fortifying, the masterfully skilled slayers of the undead, clad in adamantine and wielding fine silver hammers and maces from the mountainhomes. The horns of battle were sounded, drawbridges raised, and a single sacrifiical dorf sent to knock down the guarding wall. It had begun

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Mon Mar 16, 2015 1:06 am #75826

Here is a shot before the wall is opened, with everyone at attention. The remainder of our starting seven, Shadow Feretal Tedward and Scones sit locked in the lever room, in order to ensure Feretals horrible death machine keeps grinding on.

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Mon Mar 16, 2015 1:13 am #75828

And as soon as i crack the wall FPS drops to 4. I guess the demons noticed.

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Mon Mar 16, 2015 1:17 am #75829

Scratch that, it is actually at zero. Never seen this much chug, i guess the simultaneous pathfinding calculations for all the spread out demons is too much for it to handle. This is gonna take a while

DemonFiren · Post by **DemonFiren** » Mon Mar 16, 2015 1:25 am #75832

The circus is getting dressed.

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Mon Mar 16, 2015 1:54 am #75837

The first demon finally reached the newly breached wall. The guy who breached it fell asleep right next to it, and this was the result

Spoiler:

It still has a long way to go before it reaches the trapped area, but i am revving up the levers now

Cheimon · Post by **Cheimon** » Mon Mar 16, 2015 2:24 am #75842

That's a hell of a sting.

THE MIGHTY GALVATRON · Mon Mar 16, 2015 2:29 am

W-what is it injecting? What does that stuff do?

Balut · Post by **Balut** » Mon Mar 16, 2015 4:17 am #75853

I hope you've got as much space between each squad of crossbow dorfs as possible.

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Mon Mar 16, 2015 3:19 pm #75909

It seems poor Fayrik for whatever reason was in the lockdown area in the demon staircase. After seeing the furnace operator get eaten he got spooked and ran back onto the spike traps, where he is in the process of being eviscerated in turbo slow motion. It also seems that Feretal was unwilling to burrow in the level room, and instead is chilling with the crossbow militia. Presumably so that he could watch his life's work crush the spawn of hell into a fine paste. It may not have sprung from a strange mood, but his engine of death is certainly a masterwork.

Malkevin · Post by **Malkevin** » Mon Mar 16, 2015 3:25 pm #75913

By crush you mean atom smash the clowns with bridges yeah?

hehhhhee

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Mon Mar 16, 2015 3:27 pm #75915

A winged brute has slipped past the spikes after crushing poor Fayrick's head! He did however get softened up by the spikes, lets see how he likes the crossbow crusher hall

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Mon Mar 16, 2015 3:34 pm #75920

Rejoice! Our iron spikes actually rekt one of the diamond demons! he is the little ampersand there

Spoiler:

I thought those guys were gonna be the worst fuckers so this is really good news

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Mon Mar 16, 2015 3:39 pm #75921

Becasue of how slow it is moving i can give a nice play by play. next spike surge killed a salt demon, cripped a diamond one and slashed the throat of a winged brute. The frontrunner winged brute is in the crusher hall and none of the crossbowmen are firing at him for some fucking reason. We will see if he can slip past the crusher bridges or not in a moment here.