I'm deadly serious.
I'll take you at your word then, and address it seriously. In my opinion, all playable races should hope to fulfil two goals. First, that it fits with the setting in a creative manner. Second, that it has real pros and cons which leave humans as a still-viable choice. I reckon plasmapeople and slimepeople are the best at this, though I know you disagree.
So the first goal means either making something that fits with established ss13 lore (a plasma monster, a toxic slime hybrid), or the science fiction motif generally (fly hybrids, synths, though I'm not such a fan of either). The least good, setting wise, is a race that does neither. Normally that's Human + Earth Lifeform = Animalrace. Lizard People. Crab People. Fly People would be here but for 'The Fly'.
However, that can be redeemed if they're awesome enough at the second goal. Pros and cons. At its simplest form, with lizards, this is pros=more unique, cons=nonhuman. Lizards get racism as a con too, because arguably that wasn't good enough as a concept. With something more complex, slimes, you might get pros=poison blood, body switching, cons=medicine allergies, nonhuman, generic look. Plasmas get very little in terms of pros, but cons=burn in oxygen, uncloneable, breathe plasma, nonhuman. Unless you want 'cantina station' (nobody's human, everyone's a snowflake)
Your Crab People pros and cons are like this. Pros = spaceworthy, magbooted, armoured, knifehands, quickchoke claws, mech movement. Cons = fires guns slower, nonhuman (but impossible to tell at a difference). Who wouldn't want to play one? There's no downside! It reads like you're so enamoured with the concept that you're too afraid to make them face any genuine difficulties.
That's why people think it's shitposting. It's an overpowered animalrace being presented with amusing pictures, and a straight face. Deadpan humour. Good joke. Everybody laugh. Roll on snare drum. Curtains.
