preparations:
after you spawn, immediately run into the backroom and put pete into the small windoor where the mulebots arrive (click on it to keep it open permanently, push pete inside or grab him and click on the tile to slide him on it, then click the windoor again to close it), and keep him locked in there, you might need him later. grab the wheat freezer, drag it to the kitchen, put both freezers on the same tile and open them both for ease of use, this is essential and slashes the time you use to make any food.
you might want to lightly deepfry the cream pie on your front desk as a prank, it gets the assistants every time, also, check the box in your bag and see what ingredients are available, and come up with food to use them in, if you don't know what you can make check the wiki (https://tgstation13.org/wiki/Guide_to_food_and_drinks)
stage one: coliazone (breakfast)
first thing you wanna make is breakfast, this is important because it stops people from fighting you for food. ill show you my routine method for putting out a great looking breakfast every time, you don't need to follow down the standard put here and you're encouraged to look at the guide on the wiki (https://tgstation13.org/wiki/Guide_to_food_and_drinks) and choose your own foods.
grab two bowls and a kitchen knife from the vending machine, bag one of the bowls and the knife and put the other on the table. the bowl in your bag is now gonna be used for expendable recipes like dough. pour 5 of the universal enzyme you find in your kitchen into the bowl and dump 80 units of milk into it, this gives you two cheese wheels, cut the wheels up and put the enzyme back into the bottle.
grab a salt and pepper shaker, put them on the same table with the cheese, grab the egg tray which is found on the tile you grouped both of your freezers up in, and put a bunch of eggs (7 or 8) out in the counter, now go to the crafting menu >> food >> egg based foods and craft omelettes, and when you cant make any more, just make normal fried eggs. serve your eggs hot.
you have eggs out on the front desk so at this point you can relax as people wont intrude on your kitchen, the above steps are very easy once you master them. next up put 45 milk into the large beaker in the blender and mix it, you'll get 3 butter, so now put 15 dough (half a flour sack) in the bowl you left in your bag (remember?) and 10 water (just click the sink once), flatten the dough, cut it, and microwave the slices to get a couple of buns, then go to the crafting menu >> breads >> butter biscuits and make 3, put the butter biscuits out next to the eggs.
finally, shout out at the top of your lungs. COLAZIONE E SERVITO! MAMA MIA!!, you might wanna ask the bartender for some coffees next to your food.
alternatively, mix 15 soy milk, 5 sugar, and 15 dough into a bowl to make a cake batter, flatten it, cut it up, microwave the slices and go to the crafting menu >> food >> pastries to unlock a LARGE menu of options and just go ham with sugar cookies and waffles, make sure to have the small easy to get ingredients like sugar close to you so they register into the crafing menu.
stage two: pranzo
quick, run to the morgue and grab any suicides, you'll wanna gib (strip naked, grab intent, click on corpse, click on gibber, click on gibber again) them, if you find a monkey kill and gib (kill it with a knife then harm intent >> knife the corpse)
pranzo consists of primo and secondo, primo is whatever you want it to be: spaghetti, pizza, meatloaf, as long as it's something big and filling, it's primo, it's your prime and most important course so make sure to be EXQUISITE, don't lock yourself to the crafting menu, for example, you can make a pizza base, add some of the cheese you made earlier, monkey cutlets, make some meatballs by processing raw meat, (if botany makes ingredients use them), then take a pen from your PDA and name it whatever you want, you can make custom foods out of mostly anything, pizzas, breads, pies, cakes, all of them can hold ingredients as long as they're not too big.
to make custom foods craft the base of the food (for example microwave a pizza dough which is made by flattening a piece of dough to get a pizza base, consult the wiki for the other bases such as cakes, pies, burgers and breads+bread slices for sandwiches) and add ANY valid ingredient to it.
for secondo, create multiple smaller bite food objects containing meat, fish, or egg but honestly you dont need to conform to an italian cuisine and if you're a new chef i suggest you make whatever you want, make sure to implement variety in your work, you might wanna make a dessert, even a vanilla cake will qualify.
finally, shout out at the top of your lungs. PRANZO E SERVITO! MAMA MIA!!
stage three: merenda
you have encountered a roadblock, at this point, you probably have little ingredients left, your fate is now decided by whether botany made enough essential ingredients like wheat or if esoteric ingredients made it on the station like carp, if not, your options will be limited
you have already supplied the crew with lots of food, and you know how to make more, this stage is the most freeform, literally just pay attention to the ingredients you have at hand, consult the wiki, and never let that dinner table be empty, you'll have something like this going:
look at this image, there's ghost chillis from botany, i used the corn in my box to make the tortilla by processing, there were lots of suicides so i made sausages then crafted them into pigs in a blanket, carrot cakes slices, a processed tator tot, and then i expended the surplus meat cutlets on chicken nuggets, go wild like this and you'll have huge variety from little ingredients, the pigs in a blanket, the pizza, the chicken nuggets, they're all roundstart ingredients or suicide-derived meat, which should be in somewhat constantly supply but dont expect too much.
condiments: remember, you can add shit to food that's already done, go to botany and dispense a syringe from the vendor, and you'll experience such a powerful force...
alfredo's tips:
*never use the deep fryer, you are a man of standards and high effort, and if you do so, you show me a weakness. you may use it to destroy the roundstart creampies or for otherwise unworkable organs though
*always double grab people who climb the table and disarm them for that sick chokehold, throw them out the first time, disposals the second, and cook into primo the third.
*keep the goat alive, you need it for milk.
*always check the morgue for fresh bodies
*your vendor is probably not gonna get hacked, but save the whetstone until you need it (or if you leave the kitchen permanently due to a bombing or something else)
*if a traitor, inject pyrosium into your food and claim that it's-a-just-a spicy
*menus speed up your rhythm, find your own menu and personalize it, and you'll soon be appreciated for your work. my menu, which i often deviate from (and you should too) involves lots of pizza and pasta for example.
*the icecream vat in your backroom can give you something to hold off the crew with, but what is your purpose if the vat is making all the food?
*do not put monkeys in the gibber, if you do so, you greatly reduce your yield.
*if you make a pizza, cake, pie or bread, REMEMBER to slice it up before serving
