Chef Gumshue's guide to masterful cooking and fine dining
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Chef Gumshue's guide to masterful cooking and fine dining
Hello to all you Chef Johns and Betty Crockers out there. Today I'm gonna learn you on the art of fine dining so preheat those ovens and wash them hands. Or not. The germs will burn off in the deep fryer anyways.
Course 1: The language of the stomach.
Don't talk too fancy. If you start talking like you're in a five star restaurant people will start expecting things like "plates" and they'll want you to wear "pants". Instead, use more common speak. For example. "Hi there, would you like some cooked chicken?" would be "GIT YER CHIKEN!!" "Has anyone seen the Bartender's pet monkey?" would be "WHER IS THER BARMAN'S MEAT CHIMP?!". "Please return your bowl when you are done eating" would be replaced by climbing over the table and taking your bowl from them.
Here is some practice sentences for you to translate.
Hello, I would like to ask the Research and Development to upgrade the parts in my microwave please.
Pardon me Botanist, could you perhaps grow some fruit for me to serve to the crew?
Has anyone seen my suit of human skin?
No, I did not put that man in the gibber.
Hello Sir! I would like to ask for cloning and morgue access.
Course 2. Recipes, beyond the cook book.
While the cook book is helpful there are plenty of great treats it doesn't mention! Here are some of my favorites.
* Deep fried Deep fried rat burger
* Fried battery on a plate
* Fried shards of glass
* Extra crispy human face covered in salt and lard
* A beaker full of rat blood (Fried)
* Assistant
Dessert: Places for ingredients!
There are plenty of great places on the station to get ingredients for your dishes! I'll leave some a secret for you to explore on your own but here are some good ones.
* Grow your own delicious fruits and veggies in the communal garden!
* Ask the shaft miners to bring back exotic meats and plants!
* Be creative! Use all the parts of whatever you're serving up.
* Try the morgue! Lots of meat there.
* Break into prison and snag a couple prisoners. No one will realize they're gone!
* Rocks
* Rocks
* Head back to the communal garden and beat anyone in there until they're soft enough to gib!
* Dress up like a surgeon and amputate someone's limbs and tongue! Not only can these limbs be fried and served but you can keep them in the back as a renewable source of blood!
* Some stations have cows you can milk for butter and cheese!
With these tips and more you can turn any station into a culinary hotspot. Go fourth! Cook, bake, kill them all, and remember, Experiment!
Course 1: The language of the stomach.
Don't talk too fancy. If you start talking like you're in a five star restaurant people will start expecting things like "plates" and they'll want you to wear "pants". Instead, use more common speak. For example. "Hi there, would you like some cooked chicken?" would be "GIT YER CHIKEN!!" "Has anyone seen the Bartender's pet monkey?" would be "WHER IS THER BARMAN'S MEAT CHIMP?!". "Please return your bowl when you are done eating" would be replaced by climbing over the table and taking your bowl from them.
Here is some practice sentences for you to translate.
Hello, I would like to ask the Research and Development to upgrade the parts in my microwave please.
Pardon me Botanist, could you perhaps grow some fruit for me to serve to the crew?
Has anyone seen my suit of human skin?
No, I did not put that man in the gibber.
Hello Sir! I would like to ask for cloning and morgue access.
Course 2. Recipes, beyond the cook book.
While the cook book is helpful there are plenty of great treats it doesn't mention! Here are some of my favorites.
* Deep fried Deep fried rat burger
* Fried battery on a plate
* Fried shards of glass
* Extra crispy human face covered in salt and lard
* A beaker full of rat blood (Fried)
* Assistant
Dessert: Places for ingredients!
There are plenty of great places on the station to get ingredients for your dishes! I'll leave some a secret for you to explore on your own but here are some good ones.
* Grow your own delicious fruits and veggies in the communal garden!
* Ask the shaft miners to bring back exotic meats and plants!
* Be creative! Use all the parts of whatever you're serving up.
* Try the morgue! Lots of meat there.
* Break into prison and snag a couple prisoners. No one will realize they're gone!
* Rocks
* Rocks
* Head back to the communal garden and beat anyone in there until they're soft enough to gib!
* Dress up like a surgeon and amputate someone's limbs and tongue! Not only can these limbs be fried and served but you can keep them in the back as a renewable source of blood!
* Some stations have cows you can milk for butter and cheese!
With these tips and more you can turn any station into a culinary hotspot. Go fourth! Cook, bake, kill them all, and remember, Experiment!
Last edited by scrubs2009 on Thu Feb 09, 2017 4:53 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Thanks, Kev.
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- Bolien
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Re: Chef Gumshue's guide to masterful cooking and fine dinin
Bolien wrote:Shit posts go in the shed, you cuck.
I provide tips on where to get ingredients and how to be a better chef and you criticize me? Away with you.
Thanks, Kev.
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Re: Chef Gumshue's guide to masterful cooking and fine dinin
OCTODAD WAS A SHIT GAMEBolien wrote:CUCKS FOR THE CUCK SHED
Thanks, Kev.
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- calzilla1
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Re: Chef Gumshue's guide to masterful cooking and fine dinin
scrubs2009 wrote:OCTODAD WAS A SHIT GAMEBolien wrote:CUCKS FOR THE CUCK SHED
Life is too short for anything meaningful and too long for anything memeingful
Super Aggro Crag wrote: The best shitpost youll ever be responsible for will be your obituary.
Quality debate brought to you by ColonicAcid wrote:imagine having this little empathy
do you have autism bud? does your brain not see these people as humans? are they just a faceless statistic to you?
- Bolien
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OCTODAD IS THE BEST GAME
FUCK YOU NORMIE REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEcalzilla1 wrote:scrubs2009 wrote:OCTODAD WAS A SHIT GAMEBolien wrote:CUCKS FOR THE CUCK SHED
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Re: OCTODAD IS THE BEST GAME
fixedBolien wrote:FUCK I'M A NORMIE REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEcalzilla1 wrote:scrubs2009 wrote:OCTODAD WAS A SHIT GAMEBolien wrote:CUCKS FOR THE CUCK SHED
Life is too short for anything meaningful and too long for anything memeingful
Super Aggro Crag wrote: The best shitpost youll ever be responsible for will be your obituary.
Quality debate brought to you by ColonicAcid wrote:imagine having this little empathy
do you have autism bud? does your brain not see these people as humans? are they just a faceless statistic to you?
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- Byond Username: Scrubs2009
Re: OCTODAD IS THE BEST GAME
Bolien wrote:FUCK YOU NORMIE REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEcalzilla1 wrote:scrubs2009 wrote:OCTODAD WAS A SHIT GAMEBolien wrote:CUCKS FOR THE CUCK SHED
I'm the normie? You're the one who likes shitty let's play Bait cancer.
Thanks, Kev.
- calzilla1
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Re: OCTODAD IS THE BEST GAME
scrubs2009 wrote:Bolien wrote:FUCK YOU NORMIE REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEcalzilla1 wrote:scrubs2009 wrote:OCTODAD WAS A SHIT GAMEBolien wrote:CUCKS FOR THE CUCK SHED
I'm the normie? You're the one who likes shitty let's play Bait cancer.
Life is too short for anything meaningful and too long for anything memeingful
Super Aggro Crag wrote: The best shitpost youll ever be responsible for will be your obituary.
Quality debate brought to you by ColonicAcid wrote:imagine having this little empathy
do you have autism bud? does your brain not see these people as humans? are they just a faceless statistic to you?
- Bolien
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Re: Chef Gumshue's guide to masterful cooking and fine dinin
If this thread wasn't shed worthy before, it certainly is now! :^)
EDIT: Why did you capitalize the B in bait? It's really triggering my grammar senses right now.
EDIT: Why did you capitalize the B in bait? It's really triggering my grammar senses right now.
Last edited by Bolien on Thu Feb 09, 2017 6:22 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Chef Gumshue's guide to masterful cooking and fine dinin
This is a good thread
- captain sawrge
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Re: Chef Gumshue's guide to masterful cooking and fine dinin
iamgoofball wrote:This is a good thread
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Re: Chef Gumshue's guide to masterful cooking and fine dinin
captain sawrge wrote:iamgoofball wrote:Octodad is a good game
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Re: Chef Gumshue's guide to masterful cooking and fine dinin
Maybe people would post more good threads like this if you guys didn't shitpost it 24/7 and then demand she'd because "it's filled with shitposting".
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Re: Chef Gumshue's guide to masterful cooking and fine dinin
Either die a shitpost or live long enough to become an even worse shitpost.iamgoofball wrote:This is a good thread
Thanks, Kev.
- Bolien
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Re: Chef Gumshue's guide to masterful cooking and fine dinin
Coming from the guy that shitposts via PRs, that's rich.iamgoofball wrote:Maybe people would post more good threads like this if you guys didn't shitpost it 24/7 and then demand she'd because "it's filled with shitposting".
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Re: Chef Gumshue's guide to masterful cooking and fine dinin
when i play chef i enjoy using as much of the monkey as i can
i play Lauser McMauligan. clown name is Cold-Ass Honkey
i have three other top secret characters as well.
tell the best admin how good he is
i have three other top secret characters as well.
tell the best admin how good he is
Spoiler:
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Re: Chef Gumshue's guide to masterful cooking and fine dinin
This is the difference between the styles of Indian cooking.PKPenguin321 wrote:when i play chef i enjoy using as much of the monkey as i can
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Re: Chef Gumshue's guide to masterful cooking and fine dinin
Why would I eat food when I can beat up the clown or mime for their crayon and never need food again?
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