Pandarsenic wrote: ↑Sat Apr 09, 2022 11:50 pm
I figure if we're going to treat the Secborg Trial as anything but "Haha, let's reenable them to mess with Goof"
which, to be fair, is a valid and honorable reason they're going to need to be on for a while - a month being the usual trial period - but we also need to take a serious, honest look at what's going wrong with them.
Now, I don't have any Salt Stories yet because
► Show Spoiler
I simply just WAS the secborg, and I was on the godawful First, Do No Harm lawset, so with our first law being FIRST, DO NO HARM (to any being, at any time, for any reason, ever) we were basically just stuck watching the funny shit the crew got up to, like a Moth Prisoner taking down all of security but agreeing to my "only funny blue lasers, no mean red lasers" and occasionally pouring our own disabler beams into someone who tried to harmbaton someone else... and sitting by helplessly, not reporting a revolution, because of a fifth law demanding that we keep secrets we discover, etc., until the fucking Clown Revolutionary declared the uprising on public comms, shortly after we discovered a fucking fully built HFR and tritium canister in the chapel.
I had a fucking blast, because sec was SCREAMING ";SiLICONS RoguE" at the top of their lungs for us not helping them (but they made no effort to change our laws and command clearly wasn't taking their claims seriously) through their whole single-prisoner outbreak. We just got to watch and heckle like Robot Statler and Waldorf. Also the moth later stole an emag from somewhere, broke into the upload, emagged every secborg trying to defend it (with an EMP implant apparently?) and then gave the AI "Law 4: emagged them all"
But obviously, not ever round can be so perfect as the secborgs standing by together and laughing at the crew, firing Funny Blue Beams into each other to make sparks and explaining to a furious officer and detective that we saw nothing our laws required us to intervene in.
If we're going to seriously look at What Goes Wrong with Secborgs, I'd like all of y'all's reports, as best you can, of any instances of secborgs violating laws (or the perception thereof). Round numbers are good if anyone feels the need to factcheck or admins want to look at stuff; probably just leave names out - this isn't a SHADOW PISSED ON MY WIFE thread, it's about addressing how secborgs (if indeed secborgs are responsible) change validhunting dynamics.
BUT ALSO
Hit us with stories of secborgs doing cool shit, like if they stun security to prevent harm to other crewmembers or whatever. Give us your secborg impressions video. Secborg unboxing. Secborg 10-minute tutorial.
This friday, i rolled thief, and asked admemes to have my shitty MODsuit objective changed. I got a single sentence back: "how hard do you want it?". My answer? "How hard can you make it?".
Objective: steal the nuclear authentication disk.
Oh boy. I started preparations immediately. Being icebox, i tracked down the maint beepsky to cannibalise for his stunbaton, and got lucky enough to have the rat king come by to kill him for me. I then got a disguise that wouldn't tie back to me, and prepared my glorious plan.
I was an engineer, and the CE was our acting cap. I'd listened outside of the captains office as he rifled through the things there, and so he likely had it on his person. I prepared my plan accordingly. One click rendered the SM cooling loop pump inactive, causing the unaltered roundstart setup to rapidly begin delamming. My plan was to get the CE to come fix it, preferably alone, and then ambush him with my stunbaton, stealing the disk.
Of course, he came with a fucking secborg. I had a flash, but no way to actually restrain a borg, and they would most certainly manage to call for help before i could take the disk. So i waited in the locker i was hiding in.
An assistant had previously broken into engineering, and knew where i was hiding. The utter legend took the blame for the sabotage and was sent to brig, while the secborg, the CE and another engineer tried to fix the single pump i'd turned off. Somehow, they managed to fail. SM went blam, a quick ahelp with admemes confirmed that i wasn't in trouble since the sabotage was intentionally easily fixed and only done to lure out the CE, and i lost my chance to get the disk.
I was getting desperate. The delam caused a shuttle call, and i needed the borgs to not interfere with my theft. I therefore stole the AI upload board and printed a freeform with the intent of uploading a law making the possession of the disk by anyone other than myself human harm.
Of course, i forgot about the shuttle. The announcement of its arrival lit a firr under my ass, and i immediately ran to departures. Lucky me, the CE was just about to board the shuttle! I stunned his ass and realised i forgot to make zipties.
Turns out, stripping a MODsuit wearer is hell. I couldn't keep him stunned long enough for the to-do to complete, and reapplying the stun caused the bar to reset.
I was fucked.
Soon, other crew came running in response to the CEs screams, and i got readily robusted by a pair wielding a telebaton.
The secborg, who had seen me get harmbatoned by my assailants, while never dealing any damage myself, of course decided to arrest me...
I tried pointing this out to it, and ordered it to release me, but since they'd bagsearched me and found the AI upload the borg decided that i was "valid", in a spectacular failure to understand his own lawset (asimov). I was thus taken into custody on the shuttle, and ended my round cuffed to a chair.
