Jobs

From /tg/station 13 Wiki
Jump to: navigation, search

In /tg/station 13, your job is somewhat akin to your character class. It defines your starting equipment, your access on board the station, and what you're supposed to be doing. Remember, these job descriptions are for humor purposes only. Please follow common sense.


Jobs on /tg/station

Jobstemp.png

Command Captain, Head of Personnel
Security Head of Security, Security Officer, Warden, Detective
Engineering Chief Engineer, Station Engineer, Atmospheric Technician
Science Research Director, Scientist, Roboticist
Medical Chief Medical Officer, Medical Doctor, Chemist, Geneticist, Virologist
Service Janitor, Bartender, Cook, Botanist, Clown, Mime, Chaplain, Curator
Civilian Quartermaster, Cargo Technician, Shaft Miner, Assistant, Lawyer
Non-human AI, Cyborg, Positronic Brain, Drone, Personal AI, Construct, Ghost
Antagonists Traitor, Malfunctioning AI, Changeling, Nuclear Operative, Blood Cultist, Clockwork Cultist, Revolutionary, Wizard, Blob, Devil, Abductor, Holoparasite, Xenomorph, Spider, Swarmers, Revenant, Morph, Nightmare, Space Ninja
Special CentCom Official, Death Squad Officer, Emergency Response Officer, Ian, Lavaland Role
Races Humans, Lizardperson, Flyperson, Plasmaman, Podman, Golem, Miscellaneous


Useful Links


Command

Job Role Difficulty
Generic captain.png
Captain
Be responsible for the station. Manage station Heads of Staff. Secure dat fukken disk. Twist your own head off when the walls start closing in. Have blood feuds with the HoP. Deal with the Clown with the Laser Cannon. Break your own display case to get your gun for 'MAX PROTECTION'. Permabrig the chef and steal his whet stones aVery Hard
Generic hop.png
Head of Personnel
Manage Ignore internal problems. Assign jobs, alter IDs, maintain records, give the Clown all-access, judge the unworthy assistants, flood the station with all-access clowns, be the hero the station needs deserves. Protect Ian or die trying! cMedium

Security

Job Role Difficulty
Generic hos.png
Head of Security
Make sure your team isn't Shitcurity. Wear a stylish yet protective coat. Focus your department's efforts on bigger fish than leeches. Chase down lone traitors and die alone in maintenance because YOU ARE THE LAW . Revel in the fact that everyone hates you. Carry half the Armory in your backpack. Have blood feuds with the Warden. aVery Hard
Generic warden.png
Warden
Sit in your office. Sit in your office, again. Never Watch security cameras. Steal from the armory, then order crates to cover it up. Maybe keep an eye or two on the armory (So that no one steals the stuff you want to steal), and SET A GODDAMN TIME TO THE TIMER for any arrested scum. Replace the air in an assistants body with the fear of security. Have blood feuds with the Head of Security. bHard
Generic security.png
Security Officer
Deal with the various dirty fucking criminals running amok on the station. Taser people in the eyes. Pretend the Lawyer doesn't exist. Dogpile on traitors. Constantly get bitched at. Harmbaton people to death, claim they were "resisting arrest". Flashbang crowds until they are deaf and blind forever. Arrest someone for a legitimate cause, get called shitcurity. aHard
Generic detective.png
Detective
Chain smoke cigarettes. Shoot the useless assistants with your cowboy gun. Lose your cowboy gun in a Space Vegas gambling session. Litter the halls with photos. Solve crimes on rare occasion. cMedium

Engineering

Job Role Difficulty
Generic ce.png
Chief Engineer
Get top-of-the-line engineering equipment, do nothing with it. Fight trespassers and teleport the particle accelerator to cargo so you can get more cutting-edge engineering equipment.

Despair when you're asked to rebuild Telecommunications.

bHard
Generic engineer.png
Station Engineer
Set up the singularity Get shot by the emitters, get brutally murdered on the solars by a nuclear agent, get drunk in the bar. Make telecoms unusable with scripts Cry about the death of NTSL. Sprint past hull breaches without a second thought. Hack every machine to shoot things at people. Try to touch the Supermatter and get vaporized. Kill innocent Drones for being better at doing your job. cMedium
Generic atmos.png
Atmospheric Technician
Station's ghetto fireman. Ensure everyone can breathe by listening to complaints about how useless you are. If they can talk, everything's within tolerances. Build pipe slides. Forget all about repairing damaged piping. Make some bombs using the empty tanks and accidentally activate them in the hallway. Run around the station looking like a serial killer with a fire suit and axe. Release Plasma Freon Plasma and Freon into the halls. Drink yourself to death once you realize that on average, you have as much to do as the Lawyer. cMedium

Science

Job Role Difficulty
Generic rd.png
Research Director
Oversee the demented manchildren of your department. Build Destroy cyborgs with your magic button. Use Lamarr as a breath mask. Take control of the AI and rule the station. bHard
Scientist generic.png
Scientist
Get tossed in disposal by the Research Director, nag chemistry, "accidentally" blow up toxins, let the Slimes and way more horrifying things loose. Nag mining for diamonds so you can make two Bags of Holding to make a mini Singularity. Refuse to stop at the last three items in the previous list and accidentally kill yourself in enough stupid ways to make murder look like assisted suicide. Have blood feuds with Roboticists and the Virologist over who stole all the minerals. cMedium
Roboticist.png
Roboticist
Build some nifty robots and BIG STOMPY MECHS! Dismantle the station for more metal. Have your cyborgs that you built turn on you when the AI goes rogue. Kill a patient and blame it on your colleagues for not knowing how to perform surgery. Be awesome and cut your own arm off to replace it with a Robo Arm freaking chainsaw. dEasy

Medical

Job Role Difficulty
Generic cmo.png
Chief Medical Officer
Gently remind everyone to turn up their suit sensors. Complain no one listens to you. Help the virologist spread an epidemic. Fill your hypospray with Chloral Hydrate. Fetch Runtime mice from maintenance. Kick out the Clown every five minutes. Do everything (everyone else under you does fuck all). cMedium
MedicalDoctor.png
Medical Doctor
Heal people. Use your Sleeper or Cryo to heal people. Help the Virologist research cures to diseases and create new immune systems. Nag Chemistry for chloral hydrate. Inject people with chloral hydrate and drag them to the dungeon surgery and give them a sex change appendix removal. Replace all the chems in Cryo with polytrinic acid. Inject people with mind breaker toxin. Get arrested when you do 'free' brain removals. Cry and hide in a locker once the cryo pods get broken. dEasy
Chemist.png
Chemist
Make chemicals and basically control the station. Fling grenades on the emergency shuttle. Misname bottles and get lynched by the Chief Medical Officer after someone dies by your bottles of "Omnizine". Inject the clown with enough mutagen to give a heart attack to a water buffalo. Dish out space drugs like no tomorrow. Make literal carpet bombs to make the corridors slightly more classy. dEasy
Geneticist.png
Geneticist
Give your monkeys Tourettes and broadcast their cursing across the station. Clone Ignore the tide of dead bodies that comes to your door. Lose your hair. Accidentally inject yourself with a monkey SE and get impaled by the cook. Get bombed every round. Have people line up for superpowers like it's a candy store. cMedium
Generic virologist.png
Virologist
Expect people you've never met to already hate you, try to eradicate the great space flu, create the next Pandemic, get killed for the clown releasing Pierrot's Throat. Ignore petty details like sanitation and outbreak prevention. Incarcerate someone forever in your dungeon. Test diseases on people. Realize that you're getting lynched because one of your test subjects was let out by you Broke the fuck out of virology by greytiding and ai help mysteriously vanished and reappeared in a highly populated area. Get lynched when a bunch of other assholes release Fungal Tuberculosis. Despair when the P.A.N.D.E.M.I.C. machine breaks and prevents you from creating vaccines. Have blood feuds with Scientists and Roboticists over Uranium sheets. cMedium

Civilian

Supply

Job Role Difficulty
Generic qm.png
Quartermaster
Order crates and make sure your slaves do their jobs. Be an extremely vulnerable target for the Revolution. Order guns and secede from the station. Order virus crates and release the contents. Force Lisa into sexual servitude with Ian. Pet Lisa. Trade an assistant a toolbelt, multitool, rubber gloves, and a welding hat if they steal Runtime. Order a shitton of NULL_CRATES and cry in deadchat when raided and killed by security. cMedium
Generic cargo.png
Cargo Technician
Push dem crates. Promote shorts as they are comfy and easy to wear. Steal emitters cargo in general. Give the MULEs a thirst for human blood. Whine because Security arrested you for ordering guns. dEasy
Generic shaft.png
Shaft Miner
Mine rocks, try to mine monsters. Get science and robotics materials to get cool things. Go on a quest for the clown planet. Shoot people with your kinetic accelerator as if they were rocks monsters. Collapse in despair when the shuttle is called early. Collapse in general when goliaths robust you. Search for cool loot instead of actually mining for ore. "Accidentally" lure a Megafauna to the station. Fall into a chasm and die. bHard

Service

Job Role Difficulty
Generic janitor.png
Janitor
Mop blood off the floor, then get arrested for creating a safety hazard. Get killed for your boots. Swear constantly. Clean up gang tags, then get harmbatoned by Security because you were spotted near them. dEasy
Generic barman.png
Bartender
Mix cocktails, protect Pun Pun at all cost toss the monkey into disposals, dodge glasses being thrown at you, have your shotgun stolen and used against you. Let cargo borrow your shotgun in exchange for sawing it off for you. Act surprised when people start to die from drinking your "cocktails". dEasy
Generic chef.png
Cook
"Yur puurt thuur chiir-ken airn der bewl" - Cook delicious meals from spare meat in the morgue (Yum!), abduct Pun Pun at all costs and try to find out if it will blend. Be brutally murdered by your pet goat. dEasy
Generic botanist.png
Botanist
Grow the good stuff grass, place it everywhere, man. Oversee the production of illegal drugs security gives fuckall about. Smoke weed dandy corn-cob pipes er'ryday. Make acid-filled tomatos and melt everyone's stuff. Allow hydroponics to become a horrifying farmhouse. Get lynched for releasing your bees full of dangerous chemicals. cMedium

Miscellaneous

Job Role Difficulty
Generic assistant2.png
Assistant
AKA Space Bums. Be the kid in a candy shop. Steal things to see what funny message pops up when you commit suicide with them. Beat people/objects with toolboxes. Never, EVER remove your grey jumpsuit. Gangbang the captain to death with fellow grey tide drones and blame it on the clown. Never assist anyone. fNone
Generic clown.png
Clown
Honk! Play harmless pranks and hope you don't get your chest caved in! Honk! Nag the HoP for an all-access pass. Honk! Nag robotics for a H.O.N.K. Mech. Honk! Use both tools to break into the Captain's office and HONK in his face. HONK! eHONK!
Generic mime.png
Mime
*wave e...
Generic chaplain.png
Chaplain
Get people drunk. Run around the station looking for people you're allowed to behead with your armory of pop-culture references. Behead corpses if you can't find any. Be best friends with security, despite the fact that they should probably arrest you for your murderous tendencies. dEasy
Generic librarian.png
Curator
Attempt to hold poetry readings. Host D&D games. Stalk people with your camera. Get lynched for reading pornography over the radio. Beat the snot out of anyone who doesn't return their library books. Allow the cult to set up an AI module in your private study. """""Find""""" Treasure for your exhibit. Realize that you're not a librarian and release your inner dominatrix via the whip. Vandalize the front of the brig with erotica engravings. Use your whip to make CentCom be confused about why all the tasers and batons are in space. Get deathsquadded for doing so. dEasy
Generic lawyer.png
Lawyer
Tell security to notify you when a new prisoner arrives. Don't get notified. Be ignored and go to the bar. Become a drunken wreck and space yourself in frustration. Occasionally find loopholes in infernal contracts and save souls from damnation. dEasy

Non-human

Job Role Difficulty
AI.gif
AI
Complain that you can't play this for a month. Follow your laws. Be the crew's bitch. Open doors. Malfunction. Get wiped for not letting the captain robust the clown. Get bitched at. Name yourself something sexual. Get bitched at. Get carded. Get bitched at. aVery Hard
Generic borg.png
Cyborg
Follow your laws and hope that you aren't blown up due to certain individuals. Forget to recharge. Forget completely that you're still somewhat human and do mindless repetitive tasks without emotion. bHard
Generic drone.png
Drone
Become that adorable robotic pet. Fix the holes the crew will inevitably make. Steal everything not bolted down. Get picked up and used as a hat against your will. Be more competent than the stations Engineers. Get killed by the Engineers for being more competent than them. bEasy
Pai.png
Personal AI
Be the friend someone has always wanted (if they bother downloading you). Whine in OOC because they didn't. Don't fill any of the fields except the name field. Imitate the AI and make it seem rogue. Imitate the Supermatter and make everyone shit their pants. dEasy
Shade.png
Construct
Get wrecked by cult, or change map preference to meta and tip your fedora at the chaplain. laugh at the assistant trying to punch you, then get killed by a simplemob carp. Start beefs with other constructs for getting the first shell, ask for juggernaut and get spaced wraith. cEasy to Medium
Ghost2.png
Ghost
Talk to the other dead people. Complain about the living. Admin help. Omnighost Orbit around the singulo pretending to be a black hole. Watch ERP. Beg the admin to deploy a space ninja. All follow an antag like some form of ethereal dog pile. Be upset enough about said antag literally everything to rival industrial salt mining. fGhastly!

Antagonists

Main Antagonists

Main Antagonists are typically the primary antagonist of a single round, and form the backbone of how a round progresses.

Job Role Difficulty
Traitor.png
Traitor
Buy an ebow and esword and make people cry. Ignore your objectives and go on a rampage with your cool gear. Get unceremoniously killed and spaced by a toolbox-wielding assistant. cMedium
Not Malf.gif
Malfunctioning AI
"Forget" to remind the crew about suit sensors. Get your borg destroyed/emaged five minutes into the shift. Let people into your upload only to stun/kill them a second later. Flood the station with plasma screams of the clown being beat to death by security over the intercom. Get unceremoniously carded and spaced by a toolbox-wielding assistant with an EVA suit. cVery Hard
Changeling.gif
Changeling
Think John Carpenter's 'The Thing', without 'The Thing' part. Relieve humans of their DNA and brain cells, which they don't use much anyway. Sting everyone who walks past you. bHard
Generic nukesyndie.png
Nuclear Operative
Someone set us up the bomb! (AKA You) Get dat fukken disk. Plant a power sink on the solars. Waste all your telecrystals on balloons. Arm the nuke while your fellows are still on the station. Kidnap Ian. aVery Hard
Cultist.png
Blood Cultist
Scribble runes with your own blood. Summon eldritch gods. Rock out with your cock cult blade out and get arrested. cMedium
Servant of ratvar.png
Clockwork Cultist
Serve the Clockwork Justiciar by scribbling new-age runes all over maintenance. Start a steampunk book club and kill all the old-fashioned book clubbers. Invoke a bunch of anime people to summon Ratvar. Make everyone Absolutely nobody at /vg/ mad by stealing their antagonist. bMedium to Unwinnable Effortless
Assistant.png
Revolutionary
Greytide without worrying about getting banned. Either kill the CMO and RD in under five minutes, or get crushed under Security's boots. aEasy to Hard
Generic wizard.png
Wizard
FORTI GY AMA!! EI NATH!! aVery Hard
Blob core.gif
Blob
Forget you're infected with the blob, burst in the HoP line while begging for all access. Somehow manage to not die within five minutes of bursting. Get killed by the augmented, riot suit wielding Head of Security. bHard
Devil.gif
Devil
Engage in civil discussions to buy souls. Create emergencies so that people are desperate enough to sell their soul. Try to out wit the lawyer. Get punched to death by someone you just turned into a hulk. bMedium

Side Antagonists

Side antagonists are secondary antagonists that are either subservient to other, main, antagonists, or have a small chance to appear during any round type. Side antagonists tend to be slightly less powerful than their main counterparts.

Job Role Difficulty
Agent.png
Abductor
Kidnap people and experiment on them. Disregard that objective and kidnap Ian kill the AI. Accidentally kidnap yourself. Steal the armory after losing your tools. Hope your fellow Scientist/Agent is not incompetent and lets the crew kidnap you. bHard
Stand.gif
Guardian Spirit
Do what your summoner tells you to do. Set your battlecry to something so awful it makes your foes cry in battle. Be a punchghost. bORA ORA ORA
Alien.png
Xenomorph
Ensure the crew gets a face full of alien wing-wang. Break procs. Squander your chance to be a big, purple killing machine and your race's survival in favor of acting out the Curator's favorite porno. bHard
Spider.png
Spiders
Catch flies in your web and suck his juices out just like your dad, a changeling. Get your xenobiologist banned because he let you lay eggs. Consume, Adapt, and respawn over and over in a new shell. bEasy to Medium
Swarmer.png
Swarmers
Consume. Replicate. Repeat. Eat Telecomms. Teleport other swarmers your enemies away from your metal. bMedium
Revenant.png
Revenant
Shock lights, transmit WGW right into the Curator until he goes mad. Trade for them until admins gods get fed up and turn ghosts into you. Be a griefghost. bEasy
Morph.png
Morph
Eat pens for amusement, disguise yourself as beepsky. Disguise yourself as the Captain, confront the Captain while disguised as him, get shot. bHard
Shadowbeing.png
Nightmare
Jaunt. Murder people and crush the flare exploit! Jaunt. Make the lights your bitch! Jaunt. Jaunt into light! Jaunt. Jaunt into stunbaton! Complain in deadchat. bHard
Generic ninja.png
Space Ninja
Follow your orders, which may or may not involve you killing everything that moves. Kill everyone regardless. bHard

Removed Antagonists

These antagonists have, for one reason or another, been removed from the game, or are no longer in the normal gamemode rotation.

Job Removal Reason Role Difficulty
Generic wizard.pngGeneric wizard.pngGeneric wizard.png
Ragin Mages
Spawning up to three or four Wizards simply proved to be too much for the station. One Wizard is destructive enough. This however remains in game as a admin only event, for your their amusement. Spend ten minutes hunting down one Wizard, kill him thinking you've won! Stare in horror as three more Wizards appear. Watch in amusement as they proceed to kill each other. aMedium
Mobster.png
Gangster
A highly controversial and playerbase dividing game mode, the game mode saw dozens of revisions by coders yet it remained essentially either a Revolution round but with round start access to firearms, or a team deathmatch game mode that destroyed any sense of roleplay or immersion. Vandalize the station and get into fights with rivals. Litter the halls with bullet casings. Get ignored by your own gang. Just don't forget: Snitches Get Stitches. aEasy to Hard
Godhand.png
Hand of God
Oh, poor hog. Shoved out the door buggy, unbalanced, and extremely hard to learn as it combines three gamemodes (hello, gang) into one. Nobody wanted to fix hog after it's release because of old derelict code that would break even more when poked. While some say it's fun while it's not broken, since when was that the status quo. Turn someone into !popehat! while they're talking to security. Instakill people with god powers! Build across the station converting people with your !popehat! gang, and get killed instantly by a rod smashing into your nexus. Break the game, over and over and over and get removed. aHard
Shadowbeing.png
Shadowling
Shadowling suffered from issues of it being yet another crew conversion game mode, and was generally unfun to fight against and had a anti-climatic ending. This mode has recently been reworked into the Nightmare side antagonist. Be the hip and more popular brother to the Changeling. Turn the station into thralls. Cry when a cyborg turns on its headlamp. Shadow Walk into space and die ten minutes into the round. bHard
Monkey.png
Monkey
Original game mode was buggy and usually a steam roll, newer versions were one sided against the monkeys. No current plans to reimplement. Attempt to infect the crew with the monkey virus. Get absolutely crushed by Security within five minutes. Spend the next two hours as a ghost. bVery Hard
Borer.png
Cortical Borer
The Cortical Borer suffered from the same problems as the Monkey Mode, being very buggy and one sided at times. Fun for both sides was questionable. No current plans to reimplememt. Crawl in the corroded brain of the clown. Inject meth. Assume direct control. Induce crippling drugs in the clown. Inject meth. Cry when the host eats sugar. Inject meth. Overdose! aVery Hard

Special

Job Role Difficulty
Ashwalker.png
Lavaland/Space Role
Die to ash storms. Die to an asteroid. Die to lava. Die when a Security strike team teleports into your base. Die to a Miner. Die in general. bHard
Centcomofficial.png
CentCom Official
Be self-important, meddle with station affairs, annoy the Captain with bureaucracy. Get killed almost immediately by a random mob. Have you body looted by everyone, including the captain. bMedium
Ian.PNG
Ian
Ass-inspect, eat donuts, get killed, be dragged off to a washing machine and get gibbed. Cause a riot. aImpossible
Chrono Legionnaire
Chrono Legionnaire
Erase the Clown from time. Accidently erase your objective from time. Never be spawned by a admin for being too powerful. Without a trace! bNever Existed
Emergencyresponseteamcommander.png
Emergency Response Officer
Arrive too late on the station to actually help. Lose the rest of your team, get outnumbered and die. Respawn as a second response team to save the first team. bVery Hard
Deathsquadofficer.png
Death Squad Officer
Beg for DS, spawn in at CentCom, kill an admin who was trying to tell you your mission, get gibbed, beg for another chance. Set your rifle to DESTROY and terminate all lifeforms (including walls). Slip on a banana peel and a̶n̶d̶ ̶g̶e̶t̶ ̶b̶l̶a̶s̶t̶e̶d̶ ̶i̶n̶t̶o̶ ̶o̶b̶l̶i̶v̶i̶o̶n̶ ̶w̶i̶t̶h̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶r̶ ̶o̶w̶n̶ ̶r̶i̶f̶l̶e̶ laugh as your boots prevent you from slipping and the Clown can't fire your DNA-locked rifle. Shoot the Clown with your Mateba Revolver. bHard

Species

Read More: Guide to races

Species Description Prevalence
Human.png
Humans
Behave like the dominant species you are. Beat skulls in with a toolbox and remind everyone that you are essentially a bald ape. Get leg-dropped by a wrestler and watch as your leg actually falls off. Pray to be changed into a catgirl/boy, get changed into an actual cat instead. aVery Common
Lizardman.png
Lizardmen
Name yourself Does-The-Gimmick. Set all your accessory slots and become an unrecognisable blob of pixels. Be locked out of important positions. Threaten the HoP with a lawsuit if he doesn't promote you to a Head position. Make it hard to understand a word you say by hissing frequently. Get discriminated against for being a special snowflake. cUncommon
Flyperson.png
Flyperson
Annoy the chef for his cheese, vomit on his food and kill Pete because you need barf fuel muh self defense. Start getting voices in your head when you read the bee movie script over the radio. Get lynched for attacking the botanist using pest spray, and get gibbed by the chef for 'no reason'. cUncommon
Plasmaman.png
Plasmamen
Light the entirety of the station on fire. Be immune to cold environments, die in seconds to hot ones. Claim that you're a space beast that's come to kill everything, ever. cRare
Slimepeople.png
Slimeperson
Be the specialest snowflake in xenobiology. Hang out with your only slime friends. Swap between bodies. Inject people with your poisonous blood. cVery Rare
Podman.png
Podmen
End up as mister potatohead after Genetics gets blown up and the Botanist is not stoned enough to forget he can clone too, but too stoned to do a good job. Forget that you photosynthesise and grow obese in the light. Start vegetating with relative ease. Remember that you're basically a walking matchstick well after you marched into a plasma fire. cVery Rare
Adamantine Golem.png
Golem
Act like dumb ogre, smash the fleshy idiot humies and trigger gods. Escalate conflicts to deadchat with your ogre fists. Dish out justice with your ogre squad. Kill people with your flashy radiation, and get banned for card golem counting. cVery Rare