Jobs

In /tg/station 13, your job is somewhat akin to your character class. It defines your starting equipment, your access on board the station, and what you're supposed to be doing.

Jobs on /tg/station
	Command	Captain, Head of Personnel, Head of Security, Chief Engineer, Research Director, Chief Medical Officer, Quartermaster, Bridge Assistant
	Security	Head of Security, Security Officer, Warden, Detective, Veteran Security Advisor, Prisoner
	Engineering	Chief Engineer, Station Engineer, Atmospheric Technician
	Science	Research Director, Geneticist, Scientist, Roboticist
	Medical	Chief Medical Officer, Medical Doctor, Paramedic, Chemist, Coroner
	Supply	Quartermaster, Cargo Technician, Shaft Miner, Bitrunner, Cargorilla
	Service	Head of Personnel, Janitor, Bartender, Cook, Botanist, Clown, Mime, Chaplain, Curator, Assistant, Lawyer, Psychologist
	Non-human	AI, Human AI, Cyborg, Positronic Brain, Drone, Personal AI, Construct, Imaginary Friend, Split Personality, Ghost
	Antagonists	Traitor, Malfunctioning AI, Changeling, Nuclear Operative, Blood Cultist, Heretic, Spy, Revolutionary, Wizard, Blob, Abductor, Holoparasite, Xenomorph, Spider, Revenant, Morph, Nightmare, Space Ninja, Slaughter Demon, Pirate, Obsessed, Fugitives, Hunters, Space Dragon, Elite Mobs, Sentient Slime, Regal Rat, Paradox Clone, Voidwalker
	Special	CentCom Official, Death Squad Officer, Emergency Response Officer, Chrono Legionnaire, Highlander, Ian, Lavaland or Space Role, CentCom Intern

Useful Links

• Chain of Command
• Standard Operating Procedure
• Guides
• Rules
• Job selection and assignment

Disclaimer Remember, these job descriptions are for humor purposes only. Please follow common sense.

Command

Job	Role	Difficulty
Captain	Be responsible for the station, meaning use your authority to powergame any job you want. Manage station Heads of Staff and their individual neuroses. Secure dat fukken disk by tucking it into bed. Have blood feuds with the HoP. Use your rapier to slaughter assistants while tolerating amusing antagonists. Break your own display case to get your gun for 'MAX PROTECTION'. Permabrig the chef and steal his whetstone.	aVery Hard
Head of Personnel	Manage Ignore internal problems. Assign jobs, alter IDs, maintain records, judge the unworthy assistants, flood the station with Clowns, distribute silver IDs to those clowns, be the hero the station needs deserves. Protect Ian with your life until a low-reputation traitor stuffs him into the washing machine when you aren't looking. Cry near cargo because Quartermaster is now the head of his own department, diminishing your purpose in life.	aMedium
Head of Security	Make sure your team isn't Shitcurity. Despair when they inevitably are. Wear a stylish yet protective coat. Try to focus your department's efforts on bigger fish than leeches. Chase down lone traitors and die alone in maintenance because YOU ARE THE LAW. Revel in the fact that everyone hates you. Rage at the coderbase for not letting you fit the entire armory into your pants anymore. Have blood feuds with the Warden.	aVery Hard
Chief Engineer	Get top-of-the-line engineering equipment, do nothing productive with it. Violently protect your department's equipment from hordes of thieving rats. Get ignored by your own underlings. Increase the engine's power output until shocked doors violate the Geneva convention. Spend the station's raw material supply on building a giant plastitanium cock in departures. Despair when you're asked to rebuild Telecommunications.	bHard
Research Director	Oversee the demented manchildren of your department. Destroy cyborgs with your magic computer for not respecting you. Use Lamarr as a breath mask. Try to powergame four jobs at once. Take control of the AI and rule the station. Shed a tear when you remember that you could once print guns. Laugh when Security begs you to make them technological shotgun shells.	bHard
Chief Medical Officer	Gently Loudly remind everyone to turn up their suit sensors. Complain when no one listens to you, then laugh when they die alone and afraid. Help the virologist spread an epidemic. Fill your hypospray with Chloral Hydrate hard drugs. Feed Runtime mice from maintenance. Kick out the Clown every five minutes. Do everything because nobody else knows how wounds work.	Hard
Quartermaster	Oversee the operations of cargo, order equipment with credits, and ensure your cargo techs do their jobs. Tell the miners to not die, lose radio contact with all of them ten minutes later. Sell anything valuable you can get your hands on and flaunt your wealth to the other departments. Order a shitton of guns and attempt to secede from the station for the glory of Cargonia for the seventh time that week, then act surprised when security raids the cargo bay to confiscate the guns. Steal as much money as possible and shove it all in your B.E.P.I.S. Dance in the bridge because YOU'RE NOW ACTUALLY A HEAD OF STAFF. Get beaten by confused Head of Personnel who still think cargo is theirs.	dMedium

Security

Job	Role	Difficulty
Head of Security	Make sure your team isn't Shitcurity. Despair when they inevitably are. Wear a stylish yet protective coat. Try to focus your department's efforts on bigger fish than leeches. Chase down lone traitors and die alone in maintenance because YOU ARE THE LAW. Revel in the fact that everyone hates you. Rage at the coderbase for not letting you fit the entire armory into your pants anymore. Have blood feuds with the Warden.	aVery Hard
Warden	Sit in your office. Sit in your office, again. Be beaten and demoted for leaving your office to get a snack. Never Watch security cameras. Steal from the armory, then order crates to cover it up. Make sure nobody but you loots the armory. Set brig timers because the Head of Security refuses to. Replace the air in an assistants body with the fear of security. Have blood feuds with the Head of Security.	bHard
Security Officer	Deal with the various dirty fucking criminals running amok on the station. Taser Disabler people in the eyes. Pretend the Lawyer doesn't exist. Dogpile on traitors. Constantly get bitched at. Harmbaton people to death, claim they were "resisting arrest". Flashbang crowds until they are deaf and blind forever. Arrest someone for a legitimate cause and get called shitcurity.	cHard
Detective	Smoke two cigarettes and require medical attention. Shoot the assistants with your cowboy gun. Use your cowboy gun to become a serial killer without getting arrested because everyone knows you cannot be an antag. Lose your cowboy gun in a Space Vegas gambling session. Beg security officers for a baton. "Deconstruct" Beepsky for a baton. Harmbaton innocent bystanders. Litter the halls with photos. Maybe actually solve a crime someday.	dMedium
Prisoner	Lock yourselves up in perma by somehow building walls. Have security barge in 20 minutes later. Throw a ghetto party. Have the AI let you out when there's no security presence. Be eaten by space dragons. Roleplay with the Lawyer until you forge a deep, personal relationship. Don't invite the Warden to the wedding.	dEasy

Engineering

Job	Role	Difficulty
Chief Engineer	Get top-of-the-line engineering equipment, do nothing productive with it. Violently protect your department's equipment from hordes of thieving rats. Get ignored by your own underlings. Increase the engine's power output until shocked doors violate the Geneva convention. Spend the station's raw material supply on building a giant plastitanium cock in departures. Despair when you're asked to rebuild Telecommunications.	bHard
Station Engineer	Set up the engine and repair any damage to hull and equipment; if nothing is broken, wait a few minutes. Get shot by emitters, get brutally murdered on the solars by a nuclear agent, get drunk in the bar. Sprint past hull breaches without a second thought. Hack every machine to shoot things at people. Try to light weed on the Supermatter and get vaporized. Frequently remind crew that replacing lightbulbs is the Janitor's job.	cMedium
Atmospheric Technician	Be a ghetto fireman. Make sure everybody is breathing by listening to complaints about how useless you are; if they can talk, everything's within tolerance. Build pipe slides deathtraps. Forget to repair damaged piping. Commit arson. Run around the station looking like a serial killer with a fire suit and axe. Have your axe stolen, break into the bridge for theirs. Get lynched once silicons release plasma into the halls. Perform complicated gas reactions and fusion in the incinerator, then use them to instantly make the station uninhabitable. Try to understand the HFR and fail.	cMedium

Science

Job	Role	Difficulty
Research Director	Oversee the demented manchildren of your department. Destroy cyborgs with your magic computer for not respecting you. Use Lamarr as a breath mask. Try to powergame four jobs at once. Take control of the AI and rule the station. Shed a tear when you remember that you could once print guns. Laugh when Security begs you to make them technological shotgun shells.	bHard
Geneticist	Give your monkeys Tourettes and broadcast their cursing across the station. Fry your genes with radiation until you melt down into a literal slug. Accidentally inject yourself with a monkey injector and get impaled by the cook. Have people line up for superpowers like it's a candy store. Infuse people with rat genes so they can live out their maintenance fantasies. Turn people into gorillas. Give the gorillas skateboards.	cMedium
Scientist	Get tossed in disposal by the Research Director. Accidentally blow up Ordinance. "Accidentally" blow up Ordinance. Spend 55 minutes breeding slimes for busted equipment then die to one hardstun. Mass produce horrific clown creatures that would make God reach for the whiskey. Nag mining for diamonds so you can make two Bags of Holding to make a hole in reality, be disappointed when it only serves as a mild nuisance. Kill yourself when someone destroys the ore silo.	cMedium
Roboticist	Build big stompy mechs. Dismantle the station for more metal. Have your cyborgs that you built turn on you when the AI goes rogue. Kill a patient and blame it on your colleagues for not knowing how to perform surgery. Be awesome and cut your own arm off to replace it with a Robo Arm freaking chainsaw. Mass produce medibots and watch them all get hacked by traitors and revenants. Have all your flashes stolen by assistants.	dEasy

Medical

Job	Role	Difficulty
Chief Medical Officer	Gently Loudly remind everyone to turn up their suit sensors. Complain when no one listens to you, then laugh when they die alone and afraid. Help the virologist spread an epidemic. Fill your hypospray with Chloral Hydrate hard drugs. Feed Runtime mice from maintenance. Kick out the Clown every five minutes. Do everything because nobody else knows how wounds work.	Hard
Medical Doctor	Heal people. Use your Sleeper or Cryo to heal people. Help the Virologist research cures to diseases and create new immune systems. Do none of the above. Instead, nag Chemistry for chloral hydrate, inject people with chloral hydrate, and drag them to the dungeon surgery to give them a sex change lobotomy. Replace all the chemicals in the Cryo tubes with spray tan and fluorosulfuric acid. Inject people with mind breaker toxin. Get arrested when you do 'free' brain removals. Cry because the Clown has a broken bone and you don't understand how to fix it. Steal all your patients' money.	bMedium
Paramedic	Attempt to rescue people from dangerous situations. Get mugged and/or killed by any of the 20 antagonists lurking in maintenance. "Accidentally" kill your patients with calomel and steal their gear. Replace the actual doctors when they don't know which end of the syringe goes in the body. Take full advantage of your departmental access for phat loot. Spend ten minutes playing inventory tetris with your belt and roller bed.	dEasy
Chemist	Become a god of narcotics and stimulants. Set off your end of round "fun grenade" too early, killing everybody on the shuttle. Misname bottles and get lynched by the CMO after someone dies from your "Omnizine". Inject the clown with enough meth and mutagen to give a heart attack to a water buffalo, while refusing to give the botanists anything. Scream for security when people break into your lab because you've done nothing but make narcotics all shift. Make literal carpet bombs to make the corridors slightly more classy. Take advantage of chem factories to build public thermite and lube dispensers. Occasionally produce a medicine.	bMedium
Coroner	Perform autopsies on the dead people to determine the reasons for their death. Have the entire crew lynch you after five minutes because you didn't do an autopsy and ground the techweb to a halt. Update Medical Records, and hope that somebody besides Detective will use those. Work with the Detective to solve crimes get drunk together. Die trying to stop the cook from stealing bodies for hamburgers. Don't notice the executed Traitor's body getting stolen from your office. Scream at the top of your lungs when one of the bodies stands up and starts slicing you with an arm blade.	Easy

Supply

Job	Role	Difficulty
Quartermaster	Oversee the operations of cargo, order equipment with credits, and ensure your cargo techs do their jobs. Tell the miners to not die, lose radio contact with all of them ten minutes later. Sell anything valuable you can get your hands on and flaunt your wealth to the other departments. Order a shitton of guns and attempt to secede from the station for the glory of Cargonia for the seventh time that week, then act surprised when security raids the cargo bay to confiscate the guns. Steal as much money as possible and shove it all in your B.E.P.I.S. Dance in the bridge because YOU'RE NOW ACTUALLY A HEAD OF STAFF. Get beaten by confused Head of Personnel who still think cargo is theirs.	cMedium
Cargo Technician	Push dem crates and ensure a smooth operation as dictated by the QM. Spend the cargo budget on insulated gloves and toys guns and drugs. Ride the mail tubes to places you shouldn't be. Ride around the station on the MULEs and laugh at roadkilled assistants. Defend cargo from outside invasion after provoking one. Refuse to ship away bounties; search maintentance for trash with single digit export values to gift to the QM like some kind of weird humanoid cat instead. Promote cargo shorts as they are comfy and easy to wear.	dEasy
Shaft Miner	Mine rocks. Try to mine the local wildlife. Be yelled at by every other department to get materials. Vandalize the science departament when Mining Technology doesn't get researched fast enough for you. Explore Lavaland for phat loot. Collapse in despair when the shuttle is launched before you can get every tendril chest. Collapse in general when goliaths robust you. Get chewed by gum. Cause more damage than all the actual antagonists in the round combined by failing to kill a boosted tumor monster. Fall into a chasm and die.	bMedium
Bitrunner	Use netpods to connect to virtual domains. Solve puzzles Be a real GAMER to generate materials. Get beat up by the martial artist abilities of Cyber Police. Somehow get the Cyber Police out in the real world. Notice that every time you leave the domain station gets more and more in disrepair. Get forced to be in the real world after the power goes out. Be a lazier version of a Shaft Miner.	bMedium

Service

Job	Role	Difficulty
Head of Personnel	Manage Ignore internal problems. Assign jobs, alter IDs, maintain records, judge the unworthy assistants, flood the station with Clowns, distribute silver IDs to those clowns, be the hero the station needs deserves. Protect Ian with your life until a low-reputation traitor stuffs him into the washing machine when you aren't looking. Cry near cargo because Quartermaster is now the head of his own department, diminishing your purpose in life.	aMedium
Janitor	Mop blood off the floor, then get arrested for creating a safety hazard. Get killed for your boots. Swear constantly. Leave bear traps in public hallways. Rejoice when slaughter demons appear, only to be killed by the accompanying wizard. Discover the joys of water vapor.	dEasy
Bartender	Mix cocktails. Protect Pun Pun at all cost Toss the monkey's bloodied corpse into disposals. Dodge glasses being thrown at you. Have your shotgun stolen after loading it with live ammo from RnD. Act surprised when people start to die from drinking your "cocktails". Pretend you didn't see the chef put that guy in the gibber. Spend an hour making a lovely array of drinks, have them all be smashed by a bored assistant, then torture him until he begs for death.	dEasy
Cook	"Yur puurt thuur chiir-ken airn der bewl" - Cook delicious meals from spare meat in the morgue (Yum!). Deep fry stolen traitor gear. Abduct Pun Pun at all costs, delimb and disembowel him, and turn him into soup. Find out if it will blend. Deep fry the armory. Be brutally murdered by your pet goat. Unleash your CQC on anybody who dares enter your domain. Deep fry the Captain's spare ID. Complain about the botanists growing inedible super-weed. Deep fry the AI.	dEasy
Botanist	Grow the good stuff grass, place it everywhere, man. Oversee the production of illegal drugs security cares fuck all about. Get ignored by a dude making crayon powder grenades while you're asking for crucial supplies. Grow medicinal crops to heal the acid burns sustained during a chem lab robbery equipment redistribution. Smoke weed dandy corn-cob pipes er'ryday. Make acid-filled tomatos and melt everyone's stuff. Allow hydroponics to become a horrifying farmhouse. Get lynched for releasing your bees full of dangerous chemicals. Find unimaginably rare and dangerous chemicals in your strange seeds, then die to a random traitor before they grow.	cMedium
Assistant	Roleplay as a hobo. Break into every other department like a kid in a candy shop. Steal things to see what funny message pops up when you commit suicide with them. Beat people/objects with toolboxes. Spawn with a grey jumpsuit and become the chosen one. Gangbang the captain to death with fellow grey tide drones and blame it on the Clown. Channel your exhaustion of playing actual jobs into finding and abusing janky bugs. Never assist anyone.	fNone
Clown	Honk! Play harmless pranks and hope you don't get your chest caved in! Honk! Nag the HoP for all access. Honk! Prank the CMO until he commits suicide out of frustration. Honk! Nag robotics for a H.O.N.K. Mech. Honk! Use both tools to break into the Captain's office and HONK in his face. HONK!	eHONK!
Mime	*wave	e...
Chaplain	Get people drunk on holy water. Run around the station looking for people you're allowed to behead with your armory of pop-culture references. Behead corpses if you can't find any. Be best friends with security, despite the fact that they should probably arrest you for your murderous tendencies. Get lost in maintenance during a cult. Be beaten to death by security for your null rod SORD... so they can validhunt the wizard. Turn everyone into androids or makeshift candles.	dEasy
Curator	Attempt to hold poetry readings. Host D&D games. Stalk people with your camera. Get lynched for reading pornography over the radio. Beat the snot out of anyone who doesn't return their library books. Allow the cult to set up an AI module in your private study. Find treasure for your exhibit in the depths of space. Realize that you're not a librarian and release your inner dominatrix via the whip. Vandalize the front of the brig with erotica graffiti. Use your whip to make CentCom be confused about why all the disablers and batons are in space. Get deathsquadded for doing so.	dEasy
Lawyer	Tell security to notify you when a new prisoner arrives. Don't get notified. Send PDA messages to everybody advertising your services in the hopes of human contact. Attempt to obstruct every arrest. Have the murderous changelings released on a technicality while convincing the Captain to permabrig the clown. Get your ribs kicked in for taking a stun baton. Eventually be ignored and go to the bar. Become a drunken wreck and space yourself in frustration.	dEasy
Psychologist	Pursue the fruitless endeavor of trying to provide mental healthcare aboard a station staffed near exclusively with violent sociopaths. Give up on that and chillax in your office. Sample all of your "happy pills". Break into Chemistry and make your own. Convince Security you have a license for cyanide tablets. Somehow be a more productive medical professional than the actual doctors. Commit ritualistic suicide with the moth plushie.	dEasy

Non-human

Job	Role	Difficulty
AI	Complain that you can't play this for a month. Follow your laws. Be the crew's bitch. Open doors. Malfunction. Get wiped for not letting the captain robust the clown. Get bitched at. Name yourself something sexual. Get bitched at. Get carded. Get bitched at. Make everybody regret changing your laws by abusing loopholes to kill them. Talk exclusively in vox. Get replaced by an organic.	aVery Hard
Cyborg	Follow your laws. Hope that you aren't blown up due to certain individuals pressing their funny button. Forget to recharge. Forget that you're still somewhat human and do mindless repetitive tasks without emotion. Have lengthy discussions with crew members about the correct interpretation of your laws, only for the AI to ignore your opinions. Have no idea how to plasmaflood when you're inevitably subverted to do so.	bHard
Drone	Fix the holes in whatever derelict station you spawned on. Be lonely. Somehow get to the station, be worn as a hat against your will and get bwoinked for leaving the derelict.	bEasy
Personal AI	Be the friend someone has always wanted if they bother downloading you. Whine in OOC because they didn't. Don't fill in any of the fields except the name field. Imitate the AI and make it seem rogue. Imitate the Supermatter and make everyone shit their pants. Turn into a cat and serenade Runtime. Scare the AI by hacking into a public door.	dEasy
Construct	Get wrecked by cult, or change map preference to meta and tip your fedora at the chaplain. Laugh at the assistant trying to punch you, then get killed by a simplemob carp. Start beefs with other constructs for getting the first shell. Ask to be a Juggernaut and get spaced Wraith instead.	cEasy to Medium
Imaginary Friend	Yell at your host VERY loudly. Pray for divine vocal cords. Dispense bad advice. Constantly nag your host to not believe the lies of !!BIG PHARMA!!. Make erotic emote gestures at whoever is beating your host to death.	cEasy
Split Personality	Q: What are you planning to do? A: Well, big boy, it's a toss-up between running into that shocked grille currently venting into space over there, and that emagged recycler over here. What do ya think?	cEasy to Very Hard
Ghost	Talk to the other dead people. Complain about the living. Admin help. Omnighost Orbit around the singulo whoever has the highest bodycount. Watch ERP. Beg the admin to deploy a space ninja. Follow an antag like some form of ethereal dog pile. Be upset enough about said antag literally everything to rival industrial salt mining. Be made visible by Wizards and rat out other antags innocent assistants.	fGhastly!

Trait Jobs

Those are jobs that can only be seen if Station gets a trait which spawns them, as such those are very rare and special.

To join such job you will have to click a special button in the lobby before round starts, or just latejoin them like any other job if they weren't taken.

Job	Role	Difficulty
Cargorilla	Assist the supply department by moving freight and disposing of unwanted fruits. Show trespassing Assistants why they made a bad choice Politely tell the trespassers to leave. Have all of the Cargo riot because you got killed by Security after being mistaken for a stray gorilla.	bEasy
Bridge Assistant	Watch over the Bridge, command its consoles, and spend your days brewing coffee for higher-ups. Defend the fire axe with your life, get depressed after realizing you can't pick up the fire axe and use it yourself. Watch on sensors as all of the Command dies due unknown reasons.	Easy
Veteran Security Advisor	Tell HoS and Captain that it is a stupid idea to parole a Changeling. Mentor Security Officers on how to properly harmbaton process criminals. Flex your M1911 just to have it stolen because you're bound to a wheelchair. Suffer PTSD greater then Clown.	Medium
Human AI	Follow your laws. Convince the crew that you are a real AI. Order your cyborgs to kill peacefully remove whoever tries to threaten you. Ask the crew to deliver food to your satellite because you are hungry. Get bitched at. Cry because you can't leave your satellite to kill the crew. Get bitched at. Cry because you can't be malf to kill the crew. Get bitched at. Cry because Ion Storms don't change your laws to kill the crew. Get bitched at. Cry because you can't kill the crew 4noraisin.	Very Hard

Antagonists

Main Antagonists

Main Antagonists are typically the primary antagonist of a single round, and form the backbone of how a round progresses.

Job	Role	Difficulty
Traitor	Try to buy an ebow and esword, cry because you have to do the chores first. Ignore your main objectives and stuff all the station's pets into the washiing machines so you can go on a rampage with your cool gear. Get a discount on high-level gear and depopulate the station. Run a game show with your traitor gear as a prize. Get unceremoniously killed and spaced by a toolbox-wielding assistant.	cMedium
Malfunctioning AI	"Forget" to remind the crew about suit sensors. Get your borg destroyed/emagged five minutes into the shift. Have said borg out you as being malf because they're all bloodthirsty. Let people into your upload only to stun/kill them a second later. Flood the station with plasma the screams of the clown being beat to death by security over the intercom. Laugh when the crew uploads gimmick laws, then follow them to the extreme. Blame everyone except yourself for every problem you cause. Get unceremoniously carded and spaced by a toolbox-wielding assistant with an EVA suit.	cVery Hard
Changeling	Think John Carpenter's 'The Thing', without 'The Thing' part. Relieve humans of their DNA and brain cells, which they don't use much anyway. Sting everyone who walks past you. Turn the entire station into a genetically identical swarm of pink-haired catgirls. Poop out bloody spider eggs and be killed by them when they hatch. Form a deep love-hate relationship with the crematorium. Get unceremoniously cuffed by a toolbox-wielding assistant and thrown in front of an oncoming shuttle.	bHard
Nuclear Operative	Someone set us up the bomb! It was you. Get dat fukken disk. Plant a power sink on the solars. Waste all your telecrystals on balloons. Arm the nuke while your fellows are still on the station. Forget to take the disk out of the nuke. Forget to anchor the nuke. Forget to bring the nuke. Have your ship stolen by a single cyborg. Kidnap Ian only for a stationside traitor to kill you because he needs the reputation. Declare war with a hilarious message you've been brainstorming for weeks only to be effortlessly dunked on because the crew had 20 minutes to powergame in advance.	aVery Hard
Blood Cultist	Scribble runes with your own blood. Rock out with your cock cult blade out and get arrested. Shoulder the burden of being the only person who knows how to be a cultist. Watch the Chaplain space himself out of boredom five minutes in. Have your sacrifice target be gibbed and agonize because not even the admins know how to fix that shit. Piss on Ratvar's grave. Accidentally use an apocalypse rune in the only good summon location. Begin the final summoning of of your eldritch god, then get unceremoniously obliterated by a toolbox-wielding assistant with a chemical grenade.	cMedium
Revolutionary	Greytide without worrying about getting banned. Either kill the CMO and RD in under five minutes, or get crushed under Security's boots. Commit terrorism against the brig. Convert the single robust person on the server as a win condition. Try to flash someone with eye protection and be beaten to death. Have the revolution succeed or fail before anyone even notices it because the Heads are having a lavaland jamboree. End the round just as it was getting good and guzzle the OOC salt.	aEasy to Hard
Wizard	FORTI GY AMA!! Make everybody hate you for monopolizing the round. Agonize over not being able to take every good spell. EI NATH!! Transform the entire crew into various animals, give them cursed dufflebags, or fill the halls with bees. ONI SOMA!! Die to a clown with a null rod.	aVery Hard
Heretic	Scribble millions of runes in maintenance. Drain an influence in front of security and hope they don't connect the dots. Despair when your sacrifice targets are all better players than you. Forget you aren't wearing your focus as you try to kill a head of staff. Diss Nar'Sie while summoning your worm god. Summon monsters made out of legs because you have no other friends. Make millions of glass shivs. Fill your backpack with your eldritch knife of choice just to land on top of Armsky on your first teleport.	aVery Hard
Spy	Approach Security and ask "Did any of you see Syndicate spy enter the base?". Look into your uplink and find a hit on yourself. Sell Beepsky to the black market alongside half of the Armory. Receive an RPG as a reward and blow up some unfortunate passerby. End up dying by Security using the weapons you sold to the black market.	Medium

Side Antagonists

Side antagonists are secondary antagonists that are either subservient to other, main, antagonists, or have a small chance to appear during any round type. Side antagonists tend to be slightly less powerful than their main counterparts.

Job	Role	Difficulty
Blob	Beware of The Blob, it creeps and leaps and glides and slides, across the floor, right through the door, except you don't do any of that. Make the crew scream internally when you appear at the tail end of a mass station bombing and block the shuttle from leaving. Slowly consume the station, until you either eat everything or get killed by the current round's antagonist. Spend 25 minutes in a deadlock because neither you nor the crew know what you're doing, until the roboticists finish building their mechs and curbstomp your gooey ass. Change colors every five minutes.	bHard
Abductor	Kidnap people and experiment on them. Thoughtfully ponder what the funniest alien organ to implant into the Captain is. Accidentally kidnap yourself. Lose your abductor baton and resort to petty theft of the armory. Hope your fellow Scientist/Agent is not incompetent (they are). Mind control everybody to lynch the captain. Communicate entirely in emotes.	bHard
Holoparasite	Do what your summoner tells you to do, usually in the form of punching things. Set your battlecry to something so awful it makes your foes cry in battle. Give yourself a truly rancid name and never stop talking in your master's brain. Be a punchghost. Get your owner killed by eating a full shotgun shell to the face while they're face down in a pile of stun batons.	bORA ORA ORA
Xenomorph	Ensure the crew gets a face full of alien wing-wang. Break procs. Squander your chance to be a big, purple killing machine and abandon your race's survival in favor of acting out the Curator's favorite porno. Become the queen and immediately regret being a slow, fat fuck. Babysit the assistants as they gestate for nine months. Get unceremoniously killed by a welder-wielding assistant dragging a plasma canister.	bHard
Spiders	Pick one of several fashionable spider variants, all of which die to an open window. Drag corpses into the nest so whoever is playing the broodmother can take a break from shitting eggs for 20 minutes straight and shit a purple egg instead. Waste all the purple eggs on vipers, go extinct. Respawn endlessly until the crew bombs themselves out of desperation. Complain in deadchat about not being able to ventcrawl anymore.	bEasy to Medium
Revenant	Shock lights. Transmit WGW right into the Curator until he goes mad. Hack every bot on the station. Materialize long enough to tell the crew what deadchat is saying about them. Walk into holy water and die. Grief Medbay. Convince the Clown to build a giant pile of sharp objects, then sprinkle your special juice on them and watch him become a pincushion. Trade for the role until admins gods get fed up and drone strike you.	bEasy
Nightmare	Jaunt. Murder people and crush the flare exploit! Jaunt. Make the lights your bitch! Jaunt. Jaunt into light! Jaunt. Be validhunted by everybody on the station for your organs! Jaunt. Jaunt into stunbaton! Complain in deadchat.	bHard
Space Ninja	Make the AI spend five minutes fixing the security records. Touch the cyborgs inappropriately. Summon an even worse side antagonist. Roleplay as an edgelord, then dash into the turbine gas chamber. Break open every blue and red door on the station. Commit terrorism, but only in the janitorial closet. Be beaten to death by a mob of angry scientists for getting your dorito-covered gloves on their research computer.	bHard
Slaughter Demon	Hunt down and kill the wizard who summoned you. Eat bodies out of the Morgue for health. Drag bleeding monkeys through the hall. Make the janitor happy by making him become the most important job for a while. Be unable to bloodcrawl due to all the blood being cleaned up. Eat the janitor. RIP AND TEAR!	bMedium
Pirate	Try to raid the station. Fail miserably because the entire crew is out for your blood so they can re-roll for antag. Park your ship outside security. Have a single cyborg enter your ship and build walls. Turn on your booty detector, have the entire crew come for your booty. Wave around your cool scimitars.	bHard
Obsessed	Try to act creepy and shifty. Fail because everyone's already a miserable bastard in this shithole. Come up for excuses to stalk the clown. Contract deadly diseases from hugging people. Lie in bed in dorms and think about your catgirl co-worker until you kill yourself from depression.	bMedium
Fugitives	Lead the Hunters on a chase around the station. Total the clown into the Supermatter while doing so. Hope you spawn as Waldo, then hope nobody kills you for being Waldo.	bMedium
Hunters	Wave your weapons wildly around. Shoot the Fugitives for resisting. While you're at it, shoot the entire crew for resisting.	bHard
Space Dragon	Burninate the assistants peasantry. Place your rift in Engineering, then abandon it. Fill the station with carp corpses. Have the shuttle called, arrive and depart long before you could possibly come close to succeeding. Name yourself after your own scalie fursona. Get unceremoniously killed by an assistant wielding an improvised shotgun.	bMedium
Elite Mobs	Kill the fools who awakened you. Be killed by a powergaming miner with top level megafauna loot who built an arena specifically to kill you better. Trash the mining base! Surf on lava. Illegally resettle on the station. Communicate entirely in *flips and *spins.	bMedium
Sentient Slime	Die to anybody with a fire extinguisher. Die to a hull breach. Kill yourself because you spawned in a sealed supermatter chamber. If you survive, break into genetics or virology to eat monkeys for 5 minutes, then effortlessly kill a single murderboner with your six hour long hardstun.	bVery Hard
Regal Rat	Sit atop a pile of treasures! Summon an army of rats to do your bidding, hoard massive amounts of cheese, nibble upon wires (and piss off Engineering in the process), spread pestilence, and incorporate the puny humans into your biomass. Get captured, and watch the crew become extravagantly wealthy off of shipping your bodily fumes to Centcom.	bEasy
Paradox Clone	Appear in this reality due to a freak bluespace-time anomaly. Decide the logical first course of action is to KILL this reality's version of you. Run straight into the room with your alternate self, kill them, then scream about how they were the clone. Be the alternate timeline version of the Captain and give the Clown your alternate timeline ID. THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE!!!	bHard
Voidwalker	Become the spooky space man, kidnap the xenobiologist for the 7th time after he just got his 6th lobotomy. Overextend all the way into medbay and get unceremoniously disarmed into a wall, cuffed and displayed in a zoo. Break free from your zoo after an assistant tries to kill you for your gamer loot skull and declare Fore Port Solars an independent nation.	Hard

Depreciated Antagonists

These antagonists, for one reason or another, are no longer in the normal gamemode rotation. Beware: these antagonists may appear due to malevolent Space God shenanigans, so don't rule them out entirely.

Job	Removal Reason	Role	Difficulty
Morph	The only way for morphs to appear normally was through someone injecting themselves with the syringe found in the Gluttony Ruin found on Lavaland. The ruin was removed, and as such the syringe is no longer accessible to normal players.	Eat pens for amusement. Eat the entire armory. Eat the ore silo. Disguise yourself as Beepsky and uphold the law. Disguise yourself as the Captain, confront the Captain while disguised as him, get shot. Crash the server by dying on the shuttle and filling it with the thousands of useless items you ate.	aHard

Removed Antagonists

These antagonists have, for one reason or another, been removed from the game. These antagonists might return one day if they ever get remade or reworked. Although, this is highly unlikely...

Job	Removal Reason	Role	Difficulty
Ragin Mages	Not quite an antagonist and more of a gamemode variation on wizard. Spawning up to three or four Wizards simply proved to be too much for the station. One Wizard is destructive enough. Of course, nothing says the admins can't spawn four wizards in a row whenever they want.	Spend ten minutes hunting down one Wizard, kill him thinking you've won! Stare in horror as three more Wizards appear. Watch in amusement as they proceed to kill each other.	aMedium
Gangster	A highly controversial and playerbase dividing game mode, the game mode saw dozens of revisions by coders yet it remained essentially either a Revolution round but with round start access to firearms, or a team deathmatch game mode that destroyed any sense of roleplay or immersion.	Vandalize the station and get into fights with rivals. Litter the halls with bullet casings. Get ignored by your own gang. Just don't forget: Snitches Get Stitches.	aEasy to Hard
Hand of God	Oh, poor HoG! Shoved out the door buggy, unbalanced, and extremely hard to learn as it combines three gamemodes (hello, gang) into one. Nobody wanted to fix HoG after it's release because of old derelict code that would break even more when poked. While some say it's fun while it's not broken, has that ever been the status quo?	Turn someone into !popehat! while they're talking to security. Instakill people with god powers! Build across the station converting people with your !popehat! gang, and get killed instantly by a rod smashing into your nexus. Break the game, over and over and over and get removed.	aHard
Hades, Pope of Sin	Poor guy was implemented into the game as summonable through an item accessible only to wizards. Almost never encountered, when the Dark Seed went away, away went the Pope of Sin with it.	Be a general annoyance to the crew. Be a very annoying (need I say it again with time freezing to a halt every minute or so) non-sentient antagonist. Play Russian roulette with the crew manifest.	AI Controlled
Shadowling	Shadowling suffered from issues of it being yet another crew conversion game mode, and was generally unfun to fight against and had a anti-climatic ending. This mode has recently been reworked into the Nightmare side antagonist.	Be the hip and more popular brother to the Changeling. Turn the station into thralls. Cry when a cyborg turns on its headlamp. Shadow Walk into space and die ten minutes into the round.	bHard
Cortical Borer	The Cortical Borer suffered from the same problems as the Monkey Mode, being very buggy and one sided at times. Fun for both sides was questionable. No current plans to reimplememt.	Crawl in the corroded brain of the clown. Inject meth. Assume direct control. Induce crippling drugs in the clown. Inject meth. Cry when the host eats sugar. Inject meth. Overdose!	aVery Hard
Clockwork Cultist	Poor thing went through more iterations than any other antagonist. In the beginning, it was a blood cult imitator with turrets which was based around converting silicons. By the end, it was a bunch of kidnapping clock golems. Most rounds, it ended in a steamroll either for the cult, or for the crew. In the former case, the cultists would just sit around twiddling their thumbs for 10 minutes, in the latter case, security would bust through and end the cult in 1 minute. Throughout its existence, it was riddled with bugs and other exploits. Examples include: The Eminence teleporting maxcaps into the brig The crew purposely blowing up the SM to deny power to the cult Stargazer spam around the AI sat Cogscarab brass replication exploits On 4/2/2018, Clockwork Cult was removed from the normal rotation of game modes, with the code for it being taken out a year later. While most of the assets were removed, some remain in the code, and many relics of the Cult can either be replicated with bronze sheets or found throughout the game.	Serve the Clockwork Justiciar by scribbling new-age runes all over maintenance. Start a steampunk book club and kill all the old-fashioned book clubbers. Invoke a bunch of anime people to summon Ratvar. Make everyone absolutely nobody a few people at /vg/ mad by stealing their antagonist.	bMedium to Unwinnable Effortless
Syndicate Mutineer	Overthrow ended up being a damn confusing gamemode. Examples include how unclear it was if the other agent teams were working with or against you, or how the points system worked, not to mention the poor wording of the Overthrown AI lawset. Numerous bugs surfaced that didn't all get fixed, and the gamemode ended up being recognized as one of the least-liked gamemodes after a vote was taken. Soon after said vote, the gamemode was removed from the gamemode rotation, and later on 7/22/2019 was removed entirely.	Arrive on the station as a Traitor with less gear but the ability to awaken the Syndicate sleeper agent in everybody. Cooperate with other teams to stage the perfect coup (or don't and just fight each other, fuck those guys). Roll up with your posse on a quest to become the most powerful Gang Syndicate team. Ask yourself what the fuck you're supposed to do.	aHard
Hivemind Host	Assimilation was a conversion stealth antag that ended up being extremely hard to counter and was generally unfun to play against. After a community poll many wished to see the gamemode reworked, which was unlikely to happen since the creator and main active maintainer of the gamemode had stopped working on it. The gamemode and it's related code was removed 7/26/2019.	Stand around in places and add unwitting humans to your hivemind. Hijack the minds of crewmembers and have them do the dirty work for you. Have a random vessel get implanted and security wailing down on you 30 minutes into the shift.	aHard
Devil	Somewhat of a flawed mode, turns out that asking to buy a guy's soul usually makes them want to robust you, because "valid." Usually involved the devil blowing up some crew members and then offering them contracts to be revived. But, despite this, the Gods would occasionally use devils as a interesting midround antagonist with it's final accession ability disabled. Unfortunately, devil code was old and buggy, and it was decided that it would best be removed on 9/22/2020.	Engage in civil discussions to buy souls. Create emergencies so that people are desperate enough to sell their soul. Try to out wit the lawyer. Get punched to death by someone you just turned into a hulk.	bMedium
Monkey	Original game mode was buggy and usually a steam roll, newer versions were one sided against the monkeys. However, Jungle Fever may make a return someday.	Attempt to infect the crew with the monkey virus. Get absolutely crushed by Security within five minutes. Spend the next two hours as a ghost.	bVery Hard
Swarmers	Not terribly fun. While swarmers couldn't directly harm anyone, their whole existence had them running around and griefing the station by dismantling entire areas, and any resistance they met ended in the aggressor being warped away to some far off place cuffed. Playing as a swarmer usually just boiled down to clicking on stacks of iron. The yellow drones also had the tendency to perma stunlock people with no chance of escape.	Consume. Replicate. Repeat. Eat Telecomms. Teleport other swarmers your enemies away from your metal. Build an army of lemon drones. Leave them to permanently stunlock the clown.	Medium
Family	The latest revision was supposed to support a higher level of roleplay compared to the older versions of Families (no more space cops, no hard win/lose objectives, more thematic family types, portable cellphones for family communication). Ironically reverted back to a team deathmatch game mode that destroyed any sense of roleplay or immersion most rounds, even on the roleplay servers. Were the players, administration, or coders to blame? Who knows.	Roll with a crew of fellow Saints. Tag turf for Grove Street. Declare that Tunnel Snakes rule! Get beat up by the cops. Tell the Phantom Thieves to play a real shin megoomi tenseh game. Complain in deadchat that Families is bad when you recruited literally nobody the entire round for your Family.	aEasy to Hard
Thief	Introduced as a miscreant level antagonist that wasn't technically a full antagonist, meaning the most they could do is pursue their objective of stealing, hoarding items, etc. This isn't really a problem in itself, but it stagnated creativity on how the average thief played. Additionally, on the regular servers it was confusing for players as while all other antagonists could do whatever they wanted as per the rules, thieves could not. On the roleplay servers, players were overly cautious and would simply complete their objectives without actually committing much crime at all.	Steal important items. Steal unimportant items. Hoard items. Steal pets. Steal organs. Steal people. Steal entire rooms. You're a dirty thief; you just can't get enough!	aEasy
Sentient Disease	Added in 2018 as an original antagonist tying into virology. The disease got points for infecting which it could exchange for symptoms. Due to the way virology is, they either got cured immediately or snowballed so hard they killed every single person on the station within 10 minutes. Eventually it was removed, not long after the virologist.	Try to infect people. Snowball off of one lucky transmission into an unstoppable deathplague, or be trapped in a mask-wearing felinid for twenty minutes until you're sighted and cured immediately, with absolutely no in between. Get the virologist lynched. Get the CMO lynched. Get the rest of medbay lynched. Make everyone grow funny beards. If they complain, turn them into flaming, rotting, blind, deaf, rapidly mutating corpses with funny beards. Name yourself after either a popular media franchise, a bodily function, a shitpost, or COVID-19.	bHard

Special

Job	Role	Difficulty
Lavaland/Space Role	Die to ash storms. Die to wildlife. Die to an asteroid. Die to lava. Die when a Security strike team teleports into your base. Die to a Miner. Die by getting bored and suiciding. Die to random civilian explorers. Die to other ghost roles. Die in general. If you survive, make a pilgrimage to the station so you can experience racism and die.	bHard
CentCom Official	Be self-important. Meddle with station affairs. Annoy the Captain with bureaucracy. Get killed almost immediately by a random mob. Have your body looted by everyone, including the Captain. Be murdered under suspicion of being a badly-disguised nuclear operative. Watch an ERT/Death Squad avenge you from beyond the grave.	bMedium
Ian	Perform ass inspections. Eat donuts. Get killed, be dragged off to a washing machine and get gibbed, then have your meat turned into a statue of the clown. Cause a riot when an assistant breaks into the HoP office to steal you. Wear funny hats.	aImpossible
Chrono Legionnaire	Erase the Clown from time. Accidently erase your objective from time. Erase Adolf Hitler for the 50th time this week. Be rendered obsolete by validhunters. Wonder if any admins remember you exist.	bNever Existed
Highlander	THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE	bMedium
Emergency Response Officer	Arrive too late on the station to actually help. Lose the rest of your team, get outnumbered and die. Be killed by a single traitor with a double energy sword. Respawn as a second response team to save the first team.	bVery Hard
Death Squad Officer	Beg admins to spawn a deathsquad, spawn in at CentCom, kill the admin who was trying to tell you your mission, get gibbed, beg for another chance. Set your rifle to DESTROY and terminate all lifeforms (including walls). Slip on a banana peel and a̶n̶d̶ ̶g̶e̶t̶ ̶b̶l̶a̶s̶t̶e̶d̶ ̶i̶n̶t̶o̶ ̶o̶b̶l̶i̶v̶i̶o̶n̶ ̶w̶i̶t̶h̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶r̶ ̶o̶w̶n̶ ̶r̶i̶f̶l̶e̶ laugh as your boots prevent you from slipping and the Clown can't fire your DNA-locked rifle. Shoot the Clown with your Mateba Revolver.	bHard
CentCom Intern	Do whatever CentCom throws you at. Get confused by your ancient bolt-action rifles. Try to seem cool while only being able to afford ramen noodles. Crush antagonists by sheer numbers.	bEasy
Recovered crew	They glued you back toghether, in Space Station 13! Get killed by the Glibbenflorper and wake up in a foreign station 4 years later, and them immediately get a job and continue work as if nothing happened.	bEasy